Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

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Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:32 pm

Since the forum considered the whole first part as "spam" I have to post it in segments. I hope this does not affect your reading experience.
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:32 pm

Author's notes: You will see some pictures either of real people, or fictional characters, or real machinery, and also original pictures. The pictures of real people and fictional characters are there to help you visualize what a character looks like since his/her online Avatar would sometimes be based on people from real life or fictional characters from comics, anime and manga.
The original pictures are pictures I commissioned to artists (credit will be given, and links as well) with this story in mind, but unfortunately I lack the monetary resources to pay them anymore.
This story was originally intended to be an original manga that was to be posted on my Manga Magazine webpage. But since I lack the monetary resources to do it, I will post it here, in a forum where I believe target audience will read it and I would get valuable feedback about the story being good, or being a piece of crap.
With all that in mind, read and (hopefully) enjoy it. :grin:
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:33 pm

Text like "this" represents the character is talking out loud.
Text like this represents that he is thinking, not talking.

This story is rated PG-13. Fictional violence, some cursing.

Virtual Aces - Part 1

The young boy in his early teenage years ran into his bedroom, holding a PC game box with fighter planes on the box art shooting at each other, the title of the box was clear it read SKY ACES

"Finally!" he said out loud, to nobody in particular since he was alone in the room, "My parents finally got me the Sky Aces game, and will be paying for the online subscription!"

He quickly took out a DVD disc from the box, and placed it in the disk tray of his desktop computer, which was already turned on. "It took a lot of chores, and a lot of hard work, but it was all worth it!"

The autorun on the DVD quickly starts and begins installing the game on the boy's computer.
"Okay, while the game is installing, I'll read the game's manual." he takes out a second item from the game box, rather big instruction manual that seems to be at least 100 pages long. It features the picture of a World War 2 era airplane, the title of the game and the words 'Instruction booklet' on the cover. "Wow... this thing is huge!" said the boy as he looked at the book.

The boy sat on the chair in front of his computer, and started reading the instructions from the first page. "Okay, let's take a look... Thank you for buying Sky Aces, the most popular Massively multiplayer online role-playing game of its time. Sky Aces is a registered trademark of Standard Systems Inc. This package contains an installation DVD, the instruction manual, a VR helmet and VR gloves, with the corresponding USB cables. You need an internet connection to play at all times, and 1 GB of space in your hard drive to install the game.”

The boy skips most of the technical information, and system requirements, and continues to read from the next pages, "After you create your character and User ID, the game will take you to the starting area where you will select your first airplane, after that you will enter the next area of the game, there you will… this thing is so long, I’ll never finish reading it all!"

As the boy reads the manual, the installation of the game goes on smoothly, its already at 90% and going at a steady pace. “Basic controls of the airplane, first you…” BEEP "Huh? No time for that, the installation just finished!"

The beep sound came from the computer. The game had finished installing and was ready to run.

The boy starts the game, and after a cool cinematic introduction video, showing World War 2 era planes of all shapes and sizes shooting at each other, the Character Creation screen begins.
The boy chooses the gender, size and weight, then customizes the character's appearance and uniform, finally it requests a character name. "Okay, I’m done with the character creation. Now to enter a username… A Z U R E… Azure. Done!"
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:34 pm

The boy then sees a prompt screen, requesting that he plugs in and puts on the Virtual Reality helmet and gloves that comes with the game package.

He quickly digs up the VR equipment and USB cables from the game box, leaving it empty, and puts them on, after plugging the USB cables to the ports on his computer. "Everything is connected... Let’s log in!"

The VR helmet's screen shows the words 'Logging in...' on them, and then suddenly everything changes.

The boy looks around, he seems to be in a regular room, there was nothing really special about it, no windows and just one door. There is some furniture; a small table, some chairs, and a big mirror next to a wall and across from the door. The boy feels the chairs and table, the Virtual Reality hardware and software in this game was just like he expected it: Incredibly real. The table actually felt hard and cool to the touch, and the surface actually felt like wood. "Has the game started? Everything looks so real! Everything FEELS so real!" he exclaimed.

He then turns to look at the big mirror in the room, the image staring back at him is his own in-game avatar that he had just created just a few moments ago. He watches the reflection in awe, and the reflection stares back at him with the same expression.
"That mirror… is that me? Yes! That’s my character! I'm Azure!"
He walks closer to the mirror, moves his hands, moves his fingers, moves his feet, and makes faces at it, the image in the mirror responds exactly like he was... no question about it, the Virtual Reality in this game was state of the art.

Azure suddenly turns around as he hears the door open behind, the sound effects were amazing too. Not only did that door actually sounded like a real door opening, he actually heard the sound behind him! It was as if the VR equipment had a Surround Sound system built it.

Into the room walks a female NPC (Non-player-character), wearing the standard generic uniform of female NPCs. She looks like a young girl, no more than 16 years old. Her uniform could be called a combination of a Air Force academy uniform and a private high school uniform. She greets Azure cheerfully.

"...welcome to Sky Aces. My name is Erika, and I’m an A.I., an NPC here to help you get started."

Azure greets Erika back, a little nervous. "Ah… eh, hello."
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:35 pm

Erika gives him back a friendly smile. "Alright then, now I’ll take you to the starting hangar so you can pick your starting airplane. Are you ready?"

"My airplane!? Yeah! Let's go!" Azure happily replies.

Erika smiles warmly and opens the door for him. "Heh heh heh… I like your enthusiasm. Follow me please."

Outside the room, Azure and Erika find themselves in a long hallway, both sides of it covered with doors, and all of them look exactly the same, Erika calmly walks in front of Azure, who follows her looking around in awe at everything.
"Right this way please." says Erika.
Wow… look at all this doors. thinks Azure, as he looks at every door they pass by.

Finally, Erika opens one of the doors, and gestures Azure to enter. "After you, Azure." she says.
"Thank you." said Azure, entering the room.

The two enter and are now in a great hangar for airplanes, there are just four airplanes inside. The airplanes have a metal finish, have no symbols, roundels, or any other mark that might identify them, like if they just came out of a factory and hadn't been painted yet.
"Wow! This place is so huge! Awesome!" exclaimed Azure.

"You can choose your starter plane in here. You have four to choose from…" said Erika, pointing to each plane in turn.
"a MiG-3…"
"a Yakovlev Yak-1..."
"a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk..."
"and a Morane-Saulnier M.S.406."

Azure looks happily at each plane, touching them, feeling the texture of the mental, the wings, the landing gear, the propellers and even the rivets. As he does this, Erika keeps talking to him, "You can choose whichever one of this four airplanes you like. But you cannot change it afterwards! The only way to get a different airplane after starting, is to buy a new one within the game."

"All of them are great! I’ll take a closer look." said Azure as he climbs on top of the wing of one of the planes, and looks inside the cockpit, the details in there were amazing, every button, lever... everything looked like a real fighter airplane of the World War II era.

"They are all awesome… I can’t decide!" says Azure.

"I can see you are very excited about this Azure." said Erika with a smile.
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:35 pm

Azure then turns around and talks to Erika, "Erika, which one would you choose?"

Erika looks back at Azure in amazement, she certainly didn't expect him to ask her that. "Eh? Me? But I’m just a NPC…"

Azure jumps down from the plane's wing, and walks towards Erika. "What do you mean?"

"It’s just that I’m an A.I. that greets players in the start of the game… nobody has ever asked me my opinion about anything… do you really want to know?" she asks back.

"Sure I do! Which one would you chose if it were up to you?" exclaims Azure, encouragingly.

"Well… hmmm…" Erika puts her hand on her chin, and her face turns in a thinking expression.

Erika finally looks over at the Yak-1 "My kind of NPC can’t fly airplanes in the game… but if I could, I think I would use the Yak-1. It is fast, reliable, and very easy to maintain and use."

Azure stands next to the Yak-1, smiling. Erika stands besides him, smiling at him warmly. "Okay then… the Yak-1 it is." says Azure. "Very well. We’ll now transport the airplane to the main hangar, it’ll be linked to your account and you can start using it whenever you want." replied Erika.

Erika takes out a small card from her pocket, the card looks like a regular credit card, with the name Azure written on one side. "You are almost done, all is left is for me to give you this." she says.

Azure takes the card from Erika, "Thank you! What is it?"

Erika looks at Azure a little concerned, about the question he just made. "That is your Ringlas credit card. It’s described in the instruction manual. Didn’t you read that part?"

Azure is a little embarrassed that he didn’t know what the card was for. "Heh heh… no, I didn’t read it."

"Ringlas are the currency of the game, is the money you use in the stores of Sky Aces. You can never transfer the card to another account, and it can be used only by you. It has all your data and the amount of Ringlas you have at your disposal to use as you want. With them you can buy whatever you want: New airplanes, better armament, paint, and anything else. Every player starts with 1000 Ringlas, which is the amount your card has in it right now." Erika says as she explains to Azure what the card is for.

Azure looks at the card, very exited. "Great! Thank you Erika."

Erika smiles again, and points a door leading out of the hangar to Azure. "Very well Azure, you are now ready to start playing Sky Aces. Just go trough that door. That is the exit to Neutral Base, the starting point for the entire game. Just don’t forget to save your game often."

Azure puts the card in a side pocket of his pilot uniform, "Okay, I will." he replies

Azure walks out the door, waving back at Erika as he does. Erika waves back at him, smiling.
"Bye Erika, thank you for everything."
"Bye Azure. Good luck."

As Azure walks away, Erika looks at him leave, a warm smile on her face. What a nice boy, nobody had ever treated me as anything more than a piece of software. I hope he does great at the game.
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:36 pm

Azure walks out and into Neutral Base, and he is astonished at how huge it is. "This is 'Neutral Base'?"

The place called Neutral Base looks like a mixture between a huge city, and a huge airport. There are big buildings, recruitment posters on different walls, landing strips that leads into different hangars, some small, some big. There are also stores, with windows showing the merchandize inside, the stores sell airplanes, parts for airplanes, improvements for airplanes, and also paint shops to customize the paint job and camouflage of airplanes. Azure also noticed that basically every single recruitment poster on the signs around the streets, and on buildings, were of two types. Either they said We want you to join the Black Diamond Air Force or it said We want you to join the Red Clover Air Force. "It’s huge!" exclaimed Azure.

In the streets of Neutral Base we can see several characters, other players, walking around, going into stores, and talking with each other. Some alone, some in groups. The players look in different ages, sizes, and gender. We have some male, some female, some look human, other have elf like ears, and other have cat ears, or bunny ears, or wolf ears and a tail, and so on. Their pilot uniforms look from totally traditional garbs, to really creative designs and combinations of colors. "And there are lots of players." said Azure, "But that isn’t so surprising. Sky Aces has one single worldwide server, and it is the most popular online game ever created, so millions of players from all over the world must be logged in at the moment. And since Standard Systems invented the Real Time Language Translator, players can interact and talk with each other in their native language, and still understand each other."

Azure then remembers that he wanted to do something, "Oh, yeah! Erika said that you can buy paint for your airplane in the stores at Neutral Base. I’ll look for one and paint my airplane just the way I like it."

A few blocks from there, we see a young girl standing in the busy streets of Neutal Base, handing out paper pamphlets to players that pass her by. She's standing in front of a small building, a small recruitment office with the sign Hanasora Air Force Recruiting Office painted on the front.


The character of the girl seems to clearly be based off Sakura Shinguji from the Anime Series "Sakura Wars" her rank is Major, and she has the patch of the Hanasora Air Force on her arm.

Rank patches of Sky Aces (There are nine levels of them):

Hanasora Air Force roundel:

"Come and join the Hanasora Air Force, don’t let the air forces of Black Diamond and Red Clover intimidate you." she says as she continues to hand out the pamphlets, "We help out new players to get started. Read our message board, read our online blog, check out our threads in the game forum. Together, we can all make Sky Aces a game that is fun for everyone again."
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:47 pm

The girl then notices Azure walking on the street across from her, looking around at every building around him. And that boy in the blue uniform? His rank is an Lieutenant, he doesn’t have an air force patch, and by the way he’s looking around you can totally tell he’s a noob… she thought to herself.

The girl then sees how in front of Azure, standing in the street and looking intimidating are three members of another air force, the Golden Cobras Air Force. The three of them are talking to each other, as they see Azure walking towards them, who hadn’t noticed them yet. The members of the Golden Cobras Air Force look like three punk bullies, one, the leader, looks like a young man, the second one looks like a young girl, and the third looks like a tall young man with big muscles. The leader’s rank is Major General and the two 'goons' next to him are Brigadier Generals. All three of them have the patch of the Golden Cobras Air Force on their arms. All three look human (no special or furry ears) and have painted faces like 80s rock bands like KISS, and spiky punk hair.

Patch of the Golden Cobras Air Force:

Huh? Those three are from the Golden Cobras Air Force! Those guys are always taking advantage of new players! Says the girl to herself, she then puts the pamphlets down and crosses the street, towards Azure and the three Golden Cobras. Whoever he is, that noob doesn’t deserve it. I have to help him.

Meanwhile, not looking at where he was going, Azure just walks. There are so many stores… I don’t know which is the right one. and as expected from not looking, Azure crashes against something and falls down to the floor. "Ouch! That actually hurt... man, this game is so real!"

Azure looks up as the three pilots of the Golden Cobras Air Force talk down to him.
"Well, look here. It seems that this guy is looking for trouble." says the leader.
"Yeah. Trouble." says the muscle.
"I bet he doesn’t know who he’s messing with." says the woman.

Azure stands up, trying to apologize to the Golden Cobras. "I’m sorry if I crashed into you. I’m not looking for trouble, I was just walking without looking. It was an accident."

But the leader just keeps talking at him, looking angry. "You crash into us on purpose and dare to say it was an accident!?"
"You should think twice before you try and pick a fight with the Golden Cobras." said the woman.
"Yeah. Think twice." said the muscle.

Azure now looks worried as he tries to explain himself. "But it’s the truth. It was just an accident."

Of course that the leader of the Golden Cobras doesn't listen, "Okay, that’s it! We challenge you to a dogfight duel!"
"Yeah. Dogfight duel." said the muscle.
"So, noob. Do you accept or are you a coward?" taunted the woman.

Azure gets angry at being called a coward. "I’m not a coward, and to prove it I accept your challenge!"

"Heh heh heh, good." said the Leader of the Golden Cobras, smiling in triumph, the other two Golden Cobras smile a mischievously as well.

Finally, the girl of the Hanasora Air Force gets there, having heard thewhole exchange between Azure and the Golden Cobras. She starts talking to the Golden Cobras, trying to get them to leave Azure alone. "Hey, you three, stop taking advantage of new players!"

"Oh, great, the defender of weaklings is here." said the woman member of the Golden Cobras.
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:47 pm

Azure is surprised at this girl's actions as she stands up to the three members of the Golden Cobras, she places herself in between the Golden Cobras and Azure.
"We challenged him and he accepted. We didn’t break any of the game’s rules." said the leader.
"Yeah. The game’s rules." said the muscle.
"Yeah, I can see that." replied the girl from the Hanasora Air Force.

The leader of the Golden Cobras talks to Azure, ignoring Sakura. "What are you going to do, huh? Are you hiding behind a girl?"
"Yeah. Behind a girl." said the muscle.
"That’s pathetic." said the woman.

"I’m not hiding behind anyone! I can take care of myself!" replied Azure, angrily.

Frustrated, and a little angry, the girl from Hanasora turns around to talk some sense into Azure. "Listen here, kid. You have self respect, I can see that. But you also react at the smallest provocation like a little brat, and if you keep doing that you won’t survive a minute in this game! One of the first things you have to learn is how to pick your battles, understand?"

The leader of the Golden Cobras talks to Sakura. "It doesn’t matter what you tell him. He already accepted the challenge, and it cannot be undone now. So, what are you going to do about that?"
"Yeah. About that." said the muscle.

"Well, seeing as how you are three and he’s all by himself, then I’ll join the battle as his wingman." replied the girl from the Hanasora Air Force.

The three Golden Cobras are surprised at this and the leader takes the other two to a side to talk in private. "Okay everyone, Cobra meeting." said the leader to the other two.

As the Golden Cobras talk to each other, Azure attempts to reject the girl's help. "Thank you for your offer, but it’s okay. I don’t need help."

"If you are proud enough to accept a fight when you aren’t prepared for it, then be proud enough to accept help when someone offers it to you. Okay?" she replied to him, frustrated and a little angry.

The three members of the Golden Cobras Air Force begin talking to each other, whispering so they wouldn't be heard.
"That noob was one thing. But she can be trouble. What are we going to do?" said the woman.
"Yeah. What are we going to do?" said the muscle.
"Don’t worry, it’s better this way. She doesn’t know that we got new fighter airplanes since our last dogfight. And with our new planes, we’ll beat her and that noob without any problems. Ha ha ha ha." said the leader, confident.

The three Golden Cobras walk back to the girl and Azure, "Okay, the battle is still on. Let’s get to a hangar and get the planes." said the leader.
"Yeah. The planes." said the muscle.

The three Golden Cobras start walking in one direction, while the girl and Azure start walking in the opposite direction. The two of them start talking as they walk.
"Hum… do I know you?" asked Azure.
"Do you live in La Plata, or somewhere in Buenos Aires?" asked the girl from Hanasora.
"Huh? No." replied Azure.
"Then I don’t think so." answered the girl.
"Then why are you helping me?" asked Azure.
"I’m a member of an Air Force who’s objective is to help new players adapt to this game. Sky Aces is filled with players like those Golden Cobras guys, always trying to take advantage of new guys." replied the girl.
"Air Force? How does that work?" asked Azure.
"You don’t know how in game Air Forces work? Did you at least read the instructions manual?" the girl is surprised at hearing Azure’s question.
"Hum… no… it was just too big…" replies Azure, a little embarrassed about himself.
The girl does a facepalm in frustration, "Oh, no… tell me at least that you have actually flown your plane already."
"No… I just started playing ten minutes ago…" Azure replies again, even more embarrassed.
"You started playing 10 minutes ago and already you accepted a battle? That’s not being brave anymore. That’s just downright stupid!" said the girl.
"Hey!" said Azure, a little upset.

They stop talking as they reach one of the landing strips, next to a medium sized hangar. Standing in front of the hangar is a female NPC wearing a uniform identical to the one Erika had been wearing in the starting area. The only difference was her hairdo and face, this NPC had short brown hair and brown eyes.

"Okay, I’ll try to explain everything as quickly as possible. This is a main public hangar, there are several of them all over Neutral Base. Every player can get their airplane from one of these any time they want to use it." explained the girl as they approached the hangar's entrance and the NPC standing there.

"Hello Nancy. I’ll need to use my plane, and this player as well." says the girl to the NPC.
"Okay, just walk to the runway. You can both take off anytime you want." replied the NPC in a friendly voice.

The girl of the Hanasora Air Force and Azure go to the back of the hangar, where the long runway can be seen for the planes to take off and land.
"Now we have to get into our planes and take off. If we had more time I would explain it to you in more detail, but I can’t. So just take off your virtual visor for a second to read page 46 of the manual, where it explains how to take off and land the plane." said the girl to Azure.
"Page 46! Okay! Got it!" replied Azure, looking very determined.

The big gate behind the hangar opens up, and some mechanic NPCs male characters, wearing brown coveralls and gloves, with some oil stains here and there, making them look like stereotypical mechanics, take out Sakura’s airplane and Azure’s airplane. Azure’s is the Yak-1, still with the metal finish with no markings or paining. Sakura’s airplane is a Mitsubishi A6M Zero its painted pink, and it has the symbol of the Hanasora Air Force painted on the wings and fuselage.

"This is my airplane, an A6M “Zero”. As soon as we take off, you follow me. You have no experience so I’m not expecting much from you. Just keep your airplane flying straight as best as you can." says the girl.
"Huh? But I want to fight too." replied Azure.

The girl climbs into her airplane’s cockpit as the mechanic NPCs get everything ready for take off. "I know, but you have no experience at all. It’ll be better this way."
"Okay… okay…" replied Azure, understanding the point, but disappointed nonetheless.

Both planes are read for take off as both pilots are in their respective plane’s cockpits and the propellers start spinning. "Okay, everything is ready for take off." said the girl, "Yeah! Alright!" exclaimed Azure.

Both planes take off from the runway and take to the sky. "Yahooooo!" exclaimed Azure as he took to the sky. The feeling of take off were so real, he could feel the weight shifting in his body, it was as if he was actually inside the cockpit of a real plane doing a real take off.

Both planes, the Zero and Yak-1, are on the air, the girl's Zero as first plane and Azure right behind her. The two talk to each other using the airplane's radios. "Dogfights are pretty straight forward. They can be one on one or in groups, like now. The first group that has all their airplanes shot down loses. In this battle it’ll be the two of us against the three of them. By default, the pilots of the same fighter group are always in the same radio frequency, but you can change that during the battle so you can speak to just one specific pilot in your group, or with the pilots of the enemy group if you want to." explained the girl to Azure.

"I see. This plane is very realistic! I actually feel as if I were flying inside an airplane!" replied Azure.

"I understand your excitement, but pay attention. The battle is already underway, and we have to be ready for an attack at any moment." said the girl.

"Okay, you can count on me!" replied Azure

While the two are flying, none of them notice the three airplanes of the Golden Cobras flying above them. The airplanes of the Golden Cobras are three Grumman F4F Wildcat, they have the symbol of the Golden Cobras painted on the wings, and their tails are painted differently to tell each member apart. The airplane of the leader has a big number 1 painted on the tail, the second member; the big and tall one, has a sword painted on the tail, and the third member, the woman, has a little heart on the tail. All three planes have a dark yellow paint finish, like a desert style camouflage.

The F4Fs of the Golden Cobras do a dive towards Azure's Yak-1 and the girl's Zero, shooting at them. The two notice them just in time and fly away from the bullets, one flies to one side and the other to the opposite side.
"There they are! Watch out!" said the girl.
"Aaaah!" screamed Azure.
"Damn! We missed!" cursed the leader of the Golden Cobras.

The three Golden Cobras start chasing the pink Mitsubishi Zero.
"Shoot her! If we take care of her, the noob won’t stand a chance!" order the leader to his two subordinates.
"Yeah!" replied the woman over the radio.

The girl of the Hanasora Air Foce looked back, surprised "Huh? Those aren’t the same airplanes they had when we fought the last time! They got themselves some brand new F4F Wildcats!"

But if they got their airplanes for a short time, then they most likely don’t know how to fly them right yet… The girl pulls on the lever of the Zero, making the light airplane climb up until she’s almost in the vertical position. The three Golden Cobras start chasing her, all of them start getting into an almost vertical climb. …or know their plane’s strongpoints and weaknesses. thought the girl to herself.

She then makes a turn and now flies down again. The three F4F Wildcats, however, have entered a stall and are now falling down out of control. The Wildcat is a very resistant airplane, but it’s very heavy if you compare it to my Zero. I can stay in a vertical climb longer than they can, and cause them to stall their aircrafts. thought the girl to herself.

With the three planes falling down, the Zero shots at one of them, causing the second airplane, the one of the muscle Golden Cobra member to explode and fall down.
"There! Alright! Now it’s two against two." exclaimed the girl from the Hanasora Air Force.

Azure watches from the other side of the sky, as the airplane of the Golden Cobra falls down to the ground, trailing smoke. That girl is incredible! We aren’t a minute into the fight yet, and she already shot down one of them! I want to be that good too! he thought.

Now the pink Zero is following the remaining two Golden Cobras' F4Fs, but does not attack them because the two F4F Wildcats are performing a Thach Wave maneuver. Watch a video explaining what the Thach Wave is, on the following link:

"Oh, no! It’s a Thach wave. I have to wait, if I attack one of them now, then the other will shoot me down!" said the girl to herslef.

"Keep up the flight pattern! Don’t underestimate her!" exclaimed the leader of the Golden Cobras.
"Yeah, yeah. I know." said the woman over the radio.

But the flight pattern of the Golden Cobras is interrupted as Azure appears in front of them, and shoots. He misses but forces the Golden Cobras to separate and fly in different directions.

"Ah! It’s that noob!" exclaimed the woman.
"Let’s teach him a lesson! You go and shoot down that Zero. I’ll go after the noob!" ordered the leader of the Golden Cobras.

The woman of the Golden Cobras and the girl from Hanasora begin a classic spin and turn duel in the air, which ends with the pink Zero getting in the Wildcat's six-o-clock, and shooting it down with its guns. "Yeah! One more!" exclaimed the girl. "Damn it!" said the woman, as her airplane fell down engulfed in smoke.

After shooting her opponent down, the girl searches the skies with her eyes to find Azure. I shot her down, but it took me longer than I expected. I have to hurry up before the last plane gets behind that new player. she thinks to herself.

The girl finally spots them, far away. Azure’s Yak-1 is being chased by the leader of the Golden Cobras in his Wildcat, shooting at him without mercy, getting closer and closer to landing a hit every time.
"No! He’s getting closer… I’ll never get over there in time, he’s going to get shot down!" exclaimed the girl.

"Ha ha ha ha! That’s right you noob! You are doomed!" said the leader of the Golden Cobras.
He’s getting closer… it was already hard keeping the airplane flying straight, but evading those shots is almost impossible! thought Azure.

Inside the cockpit of the F4F Wildcat, we can see how the leader of the Golden Cobras finally has Azure's Yak-1 centered on his shooting sights. "I got you now… prepare to lose, you stupid noob."

Inside his Yak-1, we can see how Azure is pulling on the control stick and pressing the pedals, desperately trying to prevent being shot down. "I have to do something! Anything!" exclaimed Azure.

Azure manages to get his airplane to do a Skid, causing the F4F Wildcat of the Golden Cobra to fly right past him, and now Azure is at the Golden Cobras' six-o-clock. Click this link to see how a Skid works

"Anything at all!" exclaimed Azure.
"What the…? No!" exclaimed the leader of the Golden Cobras.

The girl, having seen how Azure did the skid maneuver, is totally surprised. "Amazing! That kid is flying for the very first time, and he has done a skid perfectly, just from instincts alone!"

Now that he’s behind the Wildcat, Azure shots down the leader of the Golden Cobras. "Yeah! I did it! I did it!"
"No! Impossible!" yells the leader of the Golden Cobras, as his plane falls down covered with smoke, both wings on fire.

With the dogfight over, the girl and Azure land their airplanes back to the ground as they return to the landing strip where they took off just moments ago.

After landing, the two get off their airplanes and talk to each other.
"That was amazing! You are very good! I hope that someday I get to be as good as you." said Azure to the girl.

"Thank you, but I was pretty surprised myself with that move you made up there. You have very good fighter pilot instincts." replied the girl.

The two then shake hands, as a signal of mutual respect and friendship.
"By the way. My name is Sakura. And you are?"
"I’m Azure. Nice to meet you Sakura."

To be continued...
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby lucasliso » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:52 pm

The pictures of the airplanes were taken from Wikipedia. The symbols of the different air forces were taken from different sites with logos. So were the picture with the insignia and ranks.

The picture of Azure, and Erika (the NPC) were done by artist Rahma by my commission.
The picture of Sakura with her airplane was commissioned to Bbmbbf.
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Re: Virtual Aces: The story of an online hero (Original story)

Postby Mercen-X » Fri Aug 30, 2013 9:39 pm

I find it difficult to read things like this as the multiple pictures remind me of people who lack descriptive ability in OTRPG so post pictures instead and I can't really take it seriously. Aircraft and other technology, I can understand would be pretty difficult to describe in-story, but just as you obtained pics from Wikipedia, you could get physical and schematic descriptions from online sources to help describe the plane without shoving the thing down our gullets. It was wholly unnecessary to post a picture of the nine rank patches as those items are easily described.

The concept of online heroism is a familiar one within the vein of alternate realities. The idea of a hero using a plane is fairly rare as far as I know. I had written up a concept for a turn-based RPG utilizing planes inspired by the turn-based tank battle game Ring of Red. Your opening chapter seems to do well in delivering the basic premise of the story, but I'm left wondering... what is the point? You mention this was intended as a manga, but what is the genre you're shooting for? Also, I notice you didn't describe the character IRL or his circumstances, so I'm assuming the story will persist in the online world. What is going to keep the main character going?

Just to nitpick, your story switches between past tense (i.e. "-ed" at the end of verbs) and present tense (i.e. "-s" at the end of verbs) quite a lot.
I just love how people put commas, in places they so obviously, do not belong.

I don't know about you, but I love the Young Justice animated series.
So I became the 44,901st signer of this petition to bring the series back.
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