Snafu Therapy Thread. *TRIGGER WARNINGS* This topic is under Mod protection

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:01 am

Not really, tbh. I mean, I try texting her but 2 weeks ago was our last long, good conv. The one I had last week was short, and I texted her twice recently (3 seperate days) and she didn't reply. Idk, but it's affecting me emotionally, as if she's ignoring me, or she's busy. I don't know, but that dream just... broke me. I just... idk. I just don't fucking know.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:03 am

Has she been initiating any conversation at all?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:06 am

Feels like it's time for you to move on, dude. I know it's hard
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:20 am

Eagle>>So far (literally) I've been the one starting the conversation. Before (maybe twice) she started a conversation but now it's all me. I just want to say I'm sorry, for being selfish, for wanting more for myself and not for the both of us. I just want a healthy friendship, to start over. But, like always, I keep my voice trapped shut, to be in limbo till I man the fuck up. Guess that'll never happen... maybe.

Tuor>> I'll be honest: moving on will only bring me grief. I know I'm sounding selfish, maybe acting dramatic, but she was one of the best people I met in my high school. I dreamt of having a friend, maybe friends, to cherish after my high school days. I wished she would be that friend. But no, I thought way too fucking ahead, thinking of myself only asking her out like the fucking idiot I am. I was rejected many times, I was left by many friends all because of those actions. And you know what? I kept going. I just kept thinking "Oh well, there's always next time" where I don't realize I will ALWAYS FAIL IN MAKING A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP. Always the same result. Why do i want a relationship? All it lead to is bickering about our relationship. I'm tired of trying to start a love interest. Like I said, I'm done. I've tried so many times and it fell, just like my self-confidence.

I'm sorry... I... this came too sudden... fuck.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:29 am

It sounds like you're in grief right now. If you break a glass, trying to put it back together can't be done and you're only cutting yourself doing it.

Also, I guess the lesson to take away with you is don't ask out a friend again. Try to immediately gauge whether you want a new woman you meet as a potential friend or love interest. Decide early on. If you decide love interest, go on a couple dates, which allows you to get to know each other. If it doesn't work out, you can easily move on from that relationship, or you two can mutually downgrade to a friendship, and you both already know there's nothing sexual to worry about from then on.

This type of social interaction is going to be pretty different now that you're out of high school. College is much less structured. There's probably very few people you're going to be sitting by on a daily basis, so it's not like grade school where you form friends by default by just becoming friends with the kid you sat by and then those friendships continue even in the next years. The only friends you'll be making will, for the most part, be the ones you actively choose to make. Same goes for any relationships. There will be thousands of potential women to be your girlfriend. Hundreds of them are probably very compatible with you. The only way to let them go by is by getting hung up on people that didn't work out.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:42 am

Randori wrote: I just kept thinking "Oh well, there's always next time" where I don't realize I will ALWAYS FAIL IN MAKING A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP. Always the same result. Why do i want a relationship? All it lead to is bickering about our relationship. I'm tired of trying to start a love interest.

You will not always fail, part of teenage years is making mistakes and learning from them. Learn from these. Don't beat yourself up about the decisions that you have made, there is nothing you can do about them now, dude. One of my favourite quotes is: ""Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense"
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:58 am

I'll just have to cope with this and hope for the best in the future. I just wish it'd be easier, but nothing's ever easy in this world.

And as for my relationship with the girl... Eagle, you say I can't fix a glass that's already broken, that I'll just keep cutting myself. I'll keep cutting myself till I get that glass fixed. I may bleed, but I will fix that damn thing no matter what. I just... need to find better ways... strategize...

Sigh.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:01 am

You can keep trying to fix it, I guess, but you really will just keep causing yourself agony. I know it's tough to hear, but some things cannot be fixed, man.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:04 am

Whenever I see people talking like you do, it never ends well. There's also the fact you'll have a bloody misshapen glass with pieces missing that's more fragile than ever before even if you somehow do put it together.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:05 am

Super glue it, then?

Sorry, bad joke. I was meaning to say "replace the broken glass with a new one" but that'd mean replacing her. I just can't bear doing that...
I say this so many fucking times, but I wish she saw this.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:27 am

Believe me, I know how hard it can be to get over someone, but it really is better when you do, when you actively try to. It took me almost 4 years to get over one person and I never really felt great until I did.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:40 am

I suppose using a metaphor was a bad idea. Anyways if she saw this it's not like she'd throw her arms open and welcome you back as a friend. Plus the way you talk it doesn't really seem like your only motivation is just to be a friend. I know you probably wouldn't make an advance on her again but it just seems like you want to friendzone yourself by becoming friends with her again, getting emotionally hung up on her, and then promptly ignoring all other women out there.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:44 am

Well it's NOT like I'm asking for a friendzone, I just want it to be like old times sake. To be what it was like before.
And I don't plan on "shunning" all women in the world. Sure I'll make a few girl friends, but no relationship. I'll probably start my love interest... when I'm ready.
Funny, my brother is the complete opposite of me. Wonder why...    Oh right, he's not diagn-nevermind, I'm not going there again...   
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:49 am

Randori wrote:Well it's like I'm asking for a friendzone, I just want it to be like old times sake. To be what it was like before.

Gonna be the harsh reality check, because I care. It won't ever be like it was before. I'm sorry, Dori.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:51 am

Gotta back up Tuor on that one.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Hallow Nova » Sat Jul 13, 2013 11:38 am

Not sure if you'll take this the way I'm expressing it.

You can't cling to an old relationship, it won't comeback. If you still want someone in your life, try to craft a new one. A lot harder than it sounds, and it already sounds hard. If it was possible getting an old relationship back, people wouldn't have as many trust issues.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Sat Jul 13, 2013 5:12 pm

I'm trying to find a way to respond to these posts... but I cannot. I don't know what to do... I want to move on, but forgetting her just...
I'm done, I can't move on with my response.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Hallow Nova » Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:57 pm

Don't forget her, moving on and forgetting are two different things.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Mon Jul 15, 2013 9:03 pm

Care to elaborate that a bit more please?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Hallow Nova » Tue Jul 16, 2013 8:48 am

Forgetting someone, means you try to move on as if they weren't in your life. Not happening with the majority of people.

Moving on and not forgetting is difficult, but technically moving on in any way would be difficult. Don't cling, if she wants to communicate, then go ahead. If you want to communicate then go ahead. Move on, without shutting out that person, do what you want. You are surrounded by thousands and millions of people. Online you have access to people all over the world. Family and other friends are always there   , for many anyway(let's not get into this)   .

Basically, you can move on, and still be able to try and form a new friendship with an old friend. There's no point in forcing something that may not happen, but it doesn't hurt to try something if the chance comes up.

I'm not you, so idk you or the other person well enough to give advice, but this is the best I got with the information given. Everyone's problems are unique to some extent, no one understands what's happening better than you do. You can take the advice of the others that have been in similar situations, and try to come to your own understanding. It's difficult, but once you try and move past all the problems, and come up with the most 'convenient'   (I mean as in, not being jerked around, like you're on a leash)    way to move on and be happy, you'll simply be happy lol

Edit: Today I stumbled upon something that kind of explains what I was trying to express.
http://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/feels/ ... t/nvfsGai/
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Panty Anarchy » Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:05 am

Okay so, I just want to vent some stuff here. I'm not sure how much I've disclosed here so I'll just give the full story.

I moved out of my parents' place in November. Moved into a nice apartment with a couple friends and it was pretty cool for a few months. At a certain point, however, it started getting unpleasant. They refused to do their own dishes, so the apartment would basically stink constantly until I did them myself. They left gross, messy shit all over /my/ coffee table. I mean, really disgusting shit. Like...used band-aids. All the time. They also hustled me for money on a near constant basis. At the time, I didn't really care because I was making more than enough money for the apartment, but then my one roommate stopped having a job and started having all her bills be covered by her mother (who owns the apartment).

And then, about a month and a half ago, I got evicted. For being short $15 on rent. That I got to the landlord two days later. Suffice to say, that wasn't the best thing to ever happen to me, but I've been living with my girlfriend since then, so it's been pretty good. I'm moving into a new place with another, more reliable, friend in September.

So today I get a message from my ex-roommate (John), saying that I need to move my stuff out by the 10th (I'd been keeping it their because they were at least cool enough to let me leave it there (which is probably mainly influenced by the fact that the couches they're using are mine, and if i take them they'll have no furniture) because I had literally no other place to put it) or it'll be seen as unclaimed property and they can basically do whatever the hell they want with it. So that's great.

I sent a message to one of my new roommates (Kait) and asked if I was able to move stuff in ahead of time. About an hour later, she called my girlfriend and told her that I was able to move stuff in and then they talked shit about my ex-roommates for a while.

So it all worked out, but I am still so incredibly pissed and I might end up punching John in the face on Friday when I get my stuff.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mir@k » Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:16 am

Then do it. You don't do that to your supposed "friends".
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Whatis6times9 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:57 am

Wait did you go through the legal channels over the eviction? Because if you were on the lease or depending on provincial law receiving mail there, you have some pretty hefty rights and could sue for illegally being forced out without the proper eviction procedure being taken.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby noxux » Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:09 am

I agree with Mir friends don't do that to friends and you have rights of that furniture, if they take YOUR furniture when he posses it he is forced by law gives your stuff back. I think it's on the constitution.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Whatis6times9 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:13 am

Warbear is a Canuck, secondly tenant laws are very rarely in any federal statutes.
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