goggy wrote:And Spike. Don't forget Spike.
Biostar wrote:They always forget Spike...
TheLivingCouch wrote:So J-Dude I've finally gotten around to catching up on your fic. Chapter 10 threw me for a loop but I'm not disappointed with what follows. My only real complaints are that I couldn't really grasp the point of the first scene in chapter 11
Likewise I cannot grasp why Mandeville went through so much trouble to clone Twilight fake her death. We know he has issues but we also know he's a cold and calculating bastard and would know damn well that killing Twilight would solidify his rule. Maybe it's just because it's been so long since I last read you fic J-Dude. I know Mandeville sees something of a kindred spirit in Twilight after everything he's done to her. On the other hand he felt the same of Trixie and look what he did to her.
The whole scene between Twilight and CAIRO though J-Dude was brilliant. That right there good sir is my meat and potatoes. I'm also curious as to who it is that Corey brought with him to the resistance base. Instinct tells me it's Shining Armor, but that would be too easy, wouldn't it now.
Anywho, I eagerly await your next chapter J-Dude.
J-Dude wrote:TheLivingCouch wrote:So J-Dude I've finally gotten around to catching up on your fic. Chapter 10 threw me for a loop but I'm not disappointed with what follows. My only real complaints are that I couldn't really grasp the point of the first scene in chapter 11
Yay! Always love hearing feedback!
The point of the first scene really was to establish the dystopian nature Equestria has adopted under Mandeville. Show, don't tell, as they say. It would be easy for me tell what the new status quo was becoming, but this scene allowed the reader to infer much of how things had gone to pot. From Ponyville's abandonment and the mass existence of refugees, to the oppressive laws and overly harsh punishments even for just saying a harmless word.
And of course, Rainy and Argyle, two victims of the whole thing, scavengers/looters, literally eaten alive in the wake of Mandeville's occupation.
I agree with my critics, who tell me this scene is a touch brutal, but I couldn't think of how to end this scene with them alive. To do so after introducing them would infer that they would return to play a greater part in the plot, and this just wasn't so. I wanted that to be clear, if nothing else.
J-Dude wrote: Mandeville never really caused Trixie's death in any intentional way though. He wanted her alive, and really her tragedy was a combination of lax safety regulations in a country without OSHA (could've used some safety rail by those gears there) and plain bad luck.
J-Dude wrote: Thing is, Mandeville is lonely. He's used to living in self-imposed isolation, but that was when he could pick up whenever he wanted and find people, if he so chose. Now though, he's utterly alone, and he knows the only ones that would ever talk to him are scared to death of him. He's feeling cocky with his new toy, and unafraid of Twilight's power, as he knows he's got her under his thumb. In his eyes, she's his only chance of having a friend he didn't create, even if he's ultimately counting on Stockholm-syndrome.
J-Dude wrote:As to Corey, I freaking GUARANTEE you will NEVER guess who he brought. Though I'll say I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a single mention in the story before this of them (them, as in, instead of "him" or "her" or "it", not in the plural sense). And this basically becomes the impetus for this entire next chapter.
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