Snafu Therapy Thread.

This forum can be a scary place, 'cause we got lax rules: let's see your war face. Take a breath, and roll the dice, you might find out we're really nice.

Moderator: Mod Squad

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mr. Sefrol » Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:42 am

So my ex made her last reply. She took the news well, even if she still sounded misguided and didn't take my feelings as seriously as I had hoped... But still, compared to how she was last time it was bigger improvement of attitude. I'm glad she understood.
"Cogito, ergo es eggo." A.K.A. "I think, therefore you are a waffle."
An Optimist
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 4009
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2008 7:06 pm
Location: where there's garlic
Gender: None specified

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Wed Jun 19, 2013 4:26 pm

EagleMan wrote:Well, do you still actually like her or are you just telling yourself you don't? It's not fair to her if you're still trying to be her friend when you have a romantic attraction to her, and she doesn't want to be in a relationship.

I don't. I've come to realize that friendship is much more important that having a relationship.
If you have genuinely moved beyond such romantic affections, and still want to remain her friend, then you can try telling her that you've moved on and you can be friends again. If she accepts that, you have to be serious. So if you went above and beyond for her before just to try to win her affections over (maybe always giving her a ride, extra nice things, and so on) that you don't do for others, then you need to stop that. If you stop that and she gets mad over that (we're getting into a lot of what ifs here but I'm just being comprehensive), then that means she just liked having a friend that fawned over her and you're better off without that friendship.

I've done that (give her things) and after my rejection I've stopped. After what you said I feel like a fool, trying to win a girl's heart with gifts. How pathetic am I? And no, she not that kind of person who would get mad when someone doesn't give her gifts.
The reason most women will hate being surprised like that is because it makes them question the history of your relationship. Was he being nice to me because he was my friend? Or just because he wanted to get into my pants? It can seem like a breach of trust to them.

After reading that just makes me feel more depressed and angry at myself. I'm just frustrated more because I failed extremely on trustworthiness. I want to win back her trust, but I can't talk to her straight about it. I just fucking can't. It's extremely difficult to me to just "speak out". Just endless words, trapped in my thought... If only she could read this.
You might have to accept there's no way to salvage the relationship even if you do everything right, because some people just won't be able to get over it. There's a fine line to walk here and you can accidentally cross it based on her just interpreting things wrongly.

I hope this isn't the conclusion as I will probably go insane at how much I can fuck up by just 1. Fucking. Sentence.
It can be quite easy, and fair of her, to interpret a strong push from you wanting to be her friend again as you hoping to just be around her again because you still like her.

I like her, but as a friend. I want to be with her and her other friends but it just seems so damn hard. So close to reach but so far to grasp it.
If possible, hang out with her in group settings. She may be uneasy with one-on-one contact, whether that be hanging out together or personal texting. If you can be at parties with her, or hang out with her in a big group, then that could help her feel comfortable with you again and allow you to build back that trust with her. And if you do get that opportunity, do not put too much attention on her. Just treat her like anyone else there, and don't make it seem like you're nursing a crush on her by paying too much attention to her, or trying to win her over.

I try and try hard to hang out with her and friends. But when I ask with a text, it's either
A) "I don't know if I'll be busy" with no follow up, or
B) No reply
I know texting isn't the best to communicate her with, but what else can I do? Go up her doorstep? That'd just seem like an excuse for her not to hangout with me. Plus, I'm the one who has to text her. Before she would text me, but now... fuck me, am I despicable.
It is a very fine line to walk, because any emotional spilling that demonstrates how much you still want to be her friend can to her seem like you're still having a crazy crush on her and she can't trust you as a friend again.

It might help to pretend like you're starting from scratch again with your friendship - it is impossible for you two to just pick it up where you left it.

I really wish for this, just to start over from scratch. I just want to be friends with her, and not end up strangers in the future. It pains me a lot whenever I pass by her and see doesn't recognize me even if she does. I try to greet her but no... I just watch and sulk. Woe is me...


Yog wrote:Now listen. If you were doing nice things for her in order to ask her out, then stop. And after you asked her out, and she said no, then that's reasonable. She thought of you as a very good friend, and because of that, chances are that she didn't want to lose that friendship by chance.

I don't want to lose our friendship either, but it's probably deteriorating and I'm trying my best to stop it.
So. Like EM said, tell her that you moved on, and that you don't want to lose that friendship. But don't grovel or beg.

Like I said, it's hard for me to speak out as I bundle up my thoughts inside. I want to try, but I fear what will happen afterwards.
And this thing about relationships. Trust me when I say that having a girlfriend is not the most important thing in the world.

Which comes to my conclusion: I care more about friendship than relationships. I'm done trying to find love and a relationship. I'll probably continue in the future (1-2 years?) but, as of right now, I'm done. Her rejection was the last straw. If anyone asks me out, then I'll probably break this and return to my relationship phase. But, as of right now, I'm fucking done.

Sorry for the huge post, just want to get the best of help that I need... again, I apologize.
Mir@k: Exodis is the little kid of the forum, compared to everyone else.
Grey: From now on i will call you eggy because i don't like x but ex sounds like eggs. i like eggs.
Yog: Exodis, your manner of speech and the way you conduct yourself is beginning to evolve to the point where I'm starting to like you.
Blood Lord: Yup, Randori is a very well respected night elf of the community. His valuable service to the site has brought great blessings to this people.
BeeAre: I'm totally gay for Randori.

Live the Lovable Life, Die the Dreadful Death.
Check out my story! Exodis - The Last Savior
The Last Savior
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 11:47 pm
Location: City of Angels
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:02 pm

If there's stuff you need to say, but you can't actually say it, you could try like, writing an email or a facebook message, or an actual note or something. Are they any mutual friends you could go to to get help from?
Rest Easy Ethan
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18297
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:22 am
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:18 pm

Mutual friends... no... I don't.
Mir@k: Exodis is the little kid of the forum, compared to everyone else.
Grey: From now on i will call you eggy because i don't like x but ex sounds like eggs. i like eggs.
Yog: Exodis, your manner of speech and the way you conduct yourself is beginning to evolve to the point where I'm starting to like you.
Blood Lord: Yup, Randori is a very well respected night elf of the community. His valuable service to the site has brought great blessings to this people.
BeeAre: I'm totally gay for Randori.

Live the Lovable Life, Die the Dreadful Death.
Check out my story! Exodis - The Last Savior
The Last Savior
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 11:47 pm
Location: City of Angels
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:43 pm

Makes more sense why shouldn't want you coming to hang out with her friends, that'd be kinda weird
Rest Easy Ethan
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18297
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:22 am
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:00 pm

It's not like I'm stealing them from her.
Mir@k: Exodis is the little kid of the forum, compared to everyone else.
Grey: From now on i will call you eggy because i don't like x but ex sounds like eggs. i like eggs.
Yog: Exodis, your manner of speech and the way you conduct yourself is beginning to evolve to the point where I'm starting to like you.
Blood Lord: Yup, Randori is a very well respected night elf of the community. His valuable service to the site has brought great blessings to this people.
BeeAre: I'm totally gay for Randori.

Live the Lovable Life, Die the Dreadful Death.
Check out my story! Exodis - The Last Savior
The Last Savior
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 11:47 pm
Location: City of Angels
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:22 pm

It's just awkward though
Rest Easy Ethan
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18297
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:22 am
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:31 pm

Sigh.
Then what options would you recommend?
Mir@k: Exodis is the little kid of the forum, compared to everyone else.
Grey: From now on i will call you eggy because i don't like x but ex sounds like eggs. i like eggs.
Yog: Exodis, your manner of speech and the way you conduct yourself is beginning to evolve to the point where I'm starting to like you.
Blood Lord: Yup, Randori is a very well respected night elf of the community. His valuable service to the site has brought great blessings to this people.
BeeAre: I'm totally gay for Randori.

Live the Lovable Life, Die the Dreadful Death.
Check out my story! Exodis - The Last Savior
The Last Savior
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 11:47 pm
Location: City of Angels
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:33 pm

Tuor wrote:If there's stuff you need to say, but you can't actually say it, you could try like, writing an email or a facebook message, or an actual note or something.
Rest Easy Ethan
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18297
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:22 am
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:54 pm

Ah, right.
I'll try to find someone close to help me.
Mir@k: Exodis is the little kid of the forum, compared to everyone else.
Grey: From now on i will call you eggy because i don't like x but ex sounds like eggs. i like eggs.
Yog: Exodis, your manner of speech and the way you conduct yourself is beginning to evolve to the point where I'm starting to like you.
Blood Lord: Yup, Randori is a very well respected night elf of the community. His valuable service to the site has brought great blessings to this people.
BeeAre: I'm totally gay for Randori.

Live the Lovable Life, Die the Dreadful Death.
Check out my story! Exodis - The Last Savior
The Last Savior
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 11:47 pm
Location: City of Angels
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Wulfespinndel » Wed Jun 19, 2013 10:32 pm

TheMadDoctor wrote:This is one of the reasons christianity is so popular. We have a very forgiving god.

Fucking hilarious. Don't tell me you're damn crazy too...that's what my Alternate Ego found out last night with my parents!
Live by the Sword die by the Sword
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 950
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:11 am
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:12 pm

Bellorosso del Fiore wrote:
TheMadDoctor wrote:This is one of the reasons christianity is so popular. We have a very forgiving god.

Fucking hilarious. Don't tell me you're damn crazy too...that's what my Alternate Ego found out last night with my parents!

get out
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 13867
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:24 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:36 am

Bell, shut the fuck up. This isn't not a thread to shove people down like that. Neither is there any room on this sit for insulting people's beliefs like that. Everyone has their right to believe in a deity or not, respect it.
Stufflikehearts - He is a Sith Lord. I love Blood Lord :3
Jeffffey - Blood, you look at the information someone says, look over what really happened, and reply in a way that makes them realize what they were really thinking.
Light10s - Blood Lord! Your avatars are becoming more epic. You make me feel like getting on all fours and submitting my loyalty and obedience to you.
Fievel - Numerous campaigns and conquests, countless bodies decaying after the abandonment of victorious battlefields. Such is the life of Blood Lord.
Dusk_Imp - Blood Lord is like a celebrity here. Everything he does is pure awesome. ALL HAIL BLOOD LORD
Doctress Who - Why couldn't there be a Blood Lord in every forum? It would make life so much easier.
Mercypostle
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18460
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:21 pm
Location: Right behind you
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Wulfespinndel » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:06 am

END CONFESSION
Last edited by Wulfespinndel on Fri Jun 28, 2013 5:10 am, edited 2 times in total.
Live by the Sword die by the Sword
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 950
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:11 am
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:13 am

Do you think your father would approve of a Christian saying what you said to an atheist?
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 13867
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:24 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:18 am

I'm sorry to hear that Bell. I really am. No one should be close minded Luke that especial to their own kid.
Stufflikehearts - He is a Sith Lord. I love Blood Lord :3
Jeffffey - Blood, you look at the information someone says, look over what really happened, and reply in a way that makes them realize what they were really thinking.
Light10s - Blood Lord! Your avatars are becoming more epic. You make me feel like getting on all fours and submitting my loyalty and obedience to you.
Fievel - Numerous campaigns and conquests, countless bodies decaying after the abandonment of victorious battlefields. Such is the life of Blood Lord.
Dusk_Imp - Blood Lord is like a celebrity here. Everything he does is pure awesome. ALL HAIL BLOOD LORD
Doctress Who - Why couldn't there be a Blood Lord in every forum? It would make life so much easier.
Mercypostle
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18460
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:21 pm
Location: Right behind you
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:51 am

I too have a parent who is highly religious and hates atheism. This proves to be quite the highly avoided topic in my house as I am an atheist. A strong one, if you know what I mean. I am very firm in my disbelief.

I'd find the topic interesting to talk about if everyone wasn't an asshole about it. I prefer to go about my day avoiding any and all instances of the "ball of sharp" because I find hardcore close mindedness to be the most depressing thing ever.
"Finish what you started human!" - Kamaji from Spirited Away
Overthinker
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 823
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:00 pm
Location: The iotas of infinitum
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby The Mad Doctor » Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:31 am

Just because I'm christian, that doesn't make me a creationist. I find that being a christian doesn't necessarily make me need to take the bible literally. People who are highly religious end up becoming creationist. My aunt is highly religious. She used to make me go to a church program for a week every year. Never really liked those. But it's possible to relate to your family wether your an atheists or not as long as religion isn't the only topic your family cares about. I hate creationists because they are dependent on the bible despite it having inaccuracies. A lot of people misinterpret the bible. In the crusades christians waged war against jews and muslims despite Mark 21:30 "love your neighbor as you love yourself."
Image
F U Im evil
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 1815
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:31 pm
Location: An evil lair
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:42 pm

Some of the best people I've ever had the privilege to meet were atheists and people who belonged to a variety of faiths. Some of the worst, bigoted, closed minded people that I have ever meet were atheists and people who belonged to a variety of faiths. We can't afford to judge people by what we might have heard about their group or we will rob ourselves of their valuable friendship. There are relationships were it would be unwise to mention religion because people get hot headed about it. But there are ways around that where you can have a good discussion.

One of the things I did on my mission when I came across such hostile people, is to ask them questions about their belief. I wasn't asking questions to interrogate them or to pull them down or to prove a point, but I asked genuine questions of curiosity. I wanted to know what they believed in, and how they came across an understanding of that belief. I really do enjoy listening to people talk about things like that and have had the opportunity to discuss points of my faith with them as the favor was returned. For those having troubles with relationship like that, where there is a religious disagreement, that is my first piece of advise. At least try it. For those where this has been tried and failed, the best thing you can do is put a smile on your face and be a good example of your belief. Prove them that their notions of what you believe in are false through your actions.
Stufflikehearts - He is a Sith Lord. I love Blood Lord :3
Jeffffey - Blood, you look at the information someone says, look over what really happened, and reply in a way that makes them realize what they were really thinking.
Light10s - Blood Lord! Your avatars are becoming more epic. You make me feel like getting on all fours and submitting my loyalty and obedience to you.
Fievel - Numerous campaigns and conquests, countless bodies decaying after the abandonment of victorious battlefields. Such is the life of Blood Lord.
Dusk_Imp - Blood Lord is like a celebrity here. Everything he does is pure awesome. ALL HAIL BLOOD LORD
Doctress Who - Why couldn't there be a Blood Lord in every forum? It would make life so much easier.
Mercypostle
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18460
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:21 pm
Location: Right behind you
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Q.U. » Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:46 pm

I don't see why anybody would bother discussing faith.

Faith is pure choice.

It's like discussing your favourite colour with another person of different tastes. You can argue why your favourite is better all you want, it makes no difference.
This post is intended for information only. Please do not reply to this message as responses cannot be read or acknowledged due to the stupidity of the user.
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 3176
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:41 pm
Location: Zerus
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:30 pm

And yet wars have been fought over it
Rest Easy Ethan
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18297
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:22 am
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:15 pm

I like to understand why people think a certain way, how they came to that conclusion, and what they have done with it. It interests me. QU, I said discuss, not argue. You aren't trying to prove to someone that your color is superior and their color is inferior. Its understanding why they like that color. By seeking someone's understanding, its like wanting to know more about a person. Often times, that process can turn anger away and neutralize hostile feelings. Worked for me in Washington.
Stufflikehearts - He is a Sith Lord. I love Blood Lord :3
Jeffffey - Blood, you look at the information someone says, look over what really happened, and reply in a way that makes them realize what they were really thinking.
Light10s - Blood Lord! Your avatars are becoming more epic. You make me feel like getting on all fours and submitting my loyalty and obedience to you.
Fievel - Numerous campaigns and conquests, countless bodies decaying after the abandonment of victorious battlefields. Such is the life of Blood Lord.
Dusk_Imp - Blood Lord is like a celebrity here. Everything he does is pure awesome. ALL HAIL BLOOD LORD
Doctress Who - Why couldn't there be a Blood Lord in every forum? It would make life so much easier.
Mercypostle
Moderator

User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 18460
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:21 pm
Location: Right behind you
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Fri Jun 21, 2013 3:46 am

Anyways Randori, it is a perilous line you'll have to walk. That's why I said to caution yourself that you may not get her back as a friend. Sometimes you just lose friends at high school graduation anyways. I had my best friend at the time just go cold on me - she never explained why, but she just cut all contact. And she didn't have other friends to hang out with either, so it wasn't some social group choosing. I had the same thing happen again a year later with a new best friend (oddly enough with 2 people I befriended on the very last day of high school), where one moved to San Fransciso (we remain on good terms but don't have much in common) and the other cut all contact with both of us mystifying us as to what changed with her.

I never tried to get romantically involved with any of them so that wasn't the problem, but still, sometimes friendships just end, and there's nothing you can do to fix it. Hopefully it works out, but I don't want you to end up tearing your hair out over this girl, especially as summer vacation starts for you.

Do you have anyone else to hang out with? Perhaps they have their own social networks that you can work through to meet new people. You know, start meeting friends of friends of friends. If you live close enough to the urban area of LA (no idea what part you're in) I'm sure there's plenty of places you can go to meet people with similar interests.
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 13867
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:24 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:24 pm

I got some, but not many. As for making friends is a bit hard for me as I am a bit akward in makin' 'em. I'll try my best to make some friends durin' College.

As for my friend girl I'll do whatever I can to fix it.
Like I said, I wish she were to see this...
Mir@k: Exodis is the little kid of the forum, compared to everyone else.
Grey: From now on i will call you eggy because i don't like x but ex sounds like eggs. i like eggs.
Yog: Exodis, your manner of speech and the way you conduct yourself is beginning to evolve to the point where I'm starting to like you.
Blood Lord: Yup, Randori is a very well respected night elf of the community. His valuable service to the site has brought great blessings to this people.
BeeAre: I'm totally gay for Randori.

Live the Lovable Life, Die the Dreadful Death.
Check out my story! Exodis - The Last Savior
The Last Savior
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 11:47 pm
Location: City of Angels
Gender: Male

Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Teran » Tue Jul 02, 2013 12:42 am

I don't like to swear that often because, well, it makes me look like an idiot... but fuck, I'm devastated. It's just an hallucination, there's no real afterlife, it's just a damn hallucination. After I die my brain will release psychedelic dimethyltryptamine, in other words, I will be trapped in my mind for a few minutes that will last an eternity. I won't meet my dead grandparents or my dead aunt or my dead dog after I die, it will be a damn hallucination that will last for quite a while. Sorta makes me wish someone would break into my house and blast my damn head with a shotgun to avoid it all, skip all this pain, this horror, this damn thing. I don't have a soul, they don't have a soul, I won't meet them when I die...

Fuck, I'm devastated, I truly am.
Disclaimer: If you don't agree with my opinion, I'm not a comic reviewer or a writer, I'm just an asshole. There, I just saved myself two months of psychological torment.

Image
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 12634
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 11:39 am
Location: Mexico
Gender: Male

PreviousNext

Return to Wham, Spam, Thank you, Ma'am!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: MSNbot Media and 5 guests