Snafu Therapy Thread. *TRIGGER WARNINGS* This topic is under Mod protection

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Birdofterror » Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:51 pm

Q.U. wrote:Here are some pointers on how NOT to chat to a girl you like on facebook.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Brax4 » Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:27 pm

Panera to me is pretty pricey for not enough food, in my opinion. But this isn't about the food.
I'd say just go there every now and again, maybe bi-monthly. On the FB side, I also wouldn't directly write on her wall, but wait for her to post something, preferably something you can relate to, and try to start a casual conversation, say something about what she posts.
You said you guys were close at one point right? Well, after a while, maybe bring up those days and ask if she would like to grab a bite to eat or hang out or something, and well, yeah, just kinda' continue from there. You'll get the hang of it.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:35 pm

There's no magic words to say True.

What matters most is your attitude rather than the specific words you use

This probably doesn't sound very helpful, but unless you're a super-genius the more you overthink social situations the more problems you tend to create for yourself. Stuff like this is done on an intuitive level that can't really be planned for, and you only get better at it with practice.

So you haven't actually seen her yet at Panera? Go there when she's working, have some remarks about how you haven't seen each other in forever, that you should hang out and catch up. Exchange phone numbers and move on from there. That's a perfectly acceptable thing to do, especially because you knew each other in the past you don't have to lay any awkward ground work like hanging out there for a while. Any old friend/interest of mine I'd have no problem doing it with, it's not like I'm meeting them for the first time.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:49 pm

Do what EM said, except not in person, you already know eacother and have a backround so that takes out one of the hardest parts. Just message her bein like "hey we haven't seen eachother/talked/hung out in a while blah blah, we should do that soon, blah blah, what're you up to these days? Blah blah, oh working a panera a bucnh eh? Blah blah, I've never actually been to one before, blah blah, maybe I should come in some time while you're working blah blah blah"
Idk
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:49 pm

Idk as well.

Idk as well....

It just doesn't feel genuine messaging via Facebook.

Guhhhhh, you're definitely right about the whole overthinking it thing.....

Old doubts are slowly heading my way. They're ominous....

"You don't deserve her." "She is a social butterfly and you are but a worm.."

Damn you doubts! Don't you understand? It's not about your damn metaphors or what I deserve. It's about whether or not she likes me or is open minded to the idea. If she doesn't well that sucks but fine, but if she does.... Well I've to fucking find out!

"Easier said than done, J"

Fuck you. And this isn't my writing thread so we're not doing this here. We're done talking like this.

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:50 pm

Why is it ingenuine?
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu Apr 18, 2013 6:52 pm

Perhaps I don't use it enough to get it.

It just feels impersonal, intrusive, cowardly, rude, abrupt and somewhat forward in the bad way.


I'd definitely prefer it mano y mano or person to person if I'm using the mano phrase wrong.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Apr 18, 2013 7:02 pm

That's an interesting view for someone who frequents an internet forum
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:28 pm

Got me there. Truth is this the first forum site that I have been on that didn't immediately do everything in there power to toss me out after screwing up once.

There are assholes everywhere on the internet but I'm happy to say there are considerably less here.

Idk mac, is conversing with individuals I know irl via internet actually socially ok? It doesn't feel like it....
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:43 pm

I do it literally everyday
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Icha » Thu Apr 18, 2013 9:02 pm

Yes, face to face gives the most information on the nonverbal level, but what else are you going to do? Besides, people do it all the time.    And anything that most people do can't be wrong, after all, right?   
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu Apr 18, 2013 9:14 pm

>=I

The exact phrase contained in that censor would be enough to set off many a strong individualist.

I'm still indecisive, however I will through a like on stuff she posts here or there and comment if it is particularly relatable.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog-Sothoth » Thu May 02, 2013 10:35 am

Goddamn. A family friend, someone who's like an uncle to me, just emailed me and the rest of my family that he has a tumor on the left side of the brain.

My dad's going a bit crazy, because he thinks that it's from some shit he and his friends inhaled in a bunker during his time in the military.

He might be not be so crazy, because a couple of those friends and himself have already had fights with bouts of cancer.



I'm thinking about reaching out towards him. I mean, our relationship is fine at best, but I feel a bit compelled to make amends and get closer to him.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu May 02, 2013 10:51 am

Go for it if ya wanna.

My uncle has recently gotten lung cancer from an abundance of smoking and skin cancer from some long term chemical exposure(?). Cancer sucks.

Your Uncle's tumor could be benign though right?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog-Sothoth » Thu May 02, 2013 10:53 am

That's what he says, but I don't know.

I hope it is.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Spoopy Princess » Thu May 02, 2013 1:24 pm

I keep having almost relapses with cutting. I had to put down my dog Lucky, who I have had for 13 years, on Monday. I found him in the kitchen, pretty much dying. I was alone and had to handle it all by myself until my parents finally got to the vet office that I rushed him to. He had a mass on his spleen, which they believe had burst and he was bleeding internally. We made the call to put him down, because we did not want him to suffer, no matter how selfish I am. I knelt down to be face-to-face with him, and he fucking tried to sit up. My Mom and Dad were talking and petting him before me, and he fucking had to do it with me. I absolutely lost it. I said goodbye, kissed him between his eyes, because that was my favorite spot to kiss him, and left the building. I couldn't be there when they gave the injection. Or even go to the waiting room. I couldn't handle my parents walking out without him. So I drove home, collapsed on the floor as soon as I got in. Brindi and Bear were both looking for him, which made me lose it more. Then my family got home, and I was taking Lucky's tags off his collar so I could wear them as a necklace, and Brindi and Bear came running in thinking he was in here, which made me lose it again.

I just feel so dead inside. This is so much harder than I thought it would be, and I keep having the urge to cut, which I substitute with drinking, which is also bad. I would go for professional help, but I don't have the time with working and I can't lose this job.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Q.U. » Thu May 02, 2013 2:04 pm

What is it with women and self harm?

Did I miss the day they announced this newest biggest craze known as "cutting"?


Sorry to hear about your dog though. It wasn't more than a year ago when we had to put our family dog down. He had a heart condition and was on meds, and would go into spasms occasionally. But he was still doing fine. Up until the day he got a spasm attack while on the balcony, and fell off the 4th floor. And broke his spine.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu May 02, 2013 2:06 pm

You can leave now, thanks
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Q.U. » Thu May 02, 2013 2:10 pm

How mean.

And I was even willing to contribute a story this time.

Well whatever. I'll see myself out.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Creppy Eggy » Thu May 02, 2013 2:15 pm

I don't get it, why do people cut themselves? The adrenaline? The pain? Fuckin' confusing.

Anyway, I'm very sorry for your loss Stuff. Must be hard to lose a pet, even more if you consider them a part of the family.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu May 02, 2013 2:24 pm

Because it is easier for them to handle physical pain than emotional pain and/or it is something they can control. It takes their mind off of the emotional pain
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Panty Anarchy » Thu May 02, 2013 2:38 pm

Fun-fact: Men also cut themselves.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Q.U. » Thu May 02, 2013 2:50 pm

I have yet to meet one, to be honest. Unless they just hide it more. Nevertheless, it does make me feel concerned that in the span of the last 20 years a large fraction of the 1st world human population practiced self-harming. I should look up some data, but I fear it may even be around ~50%, which is dreadful. Alongside morbid obesity, cancer, and stress related diseases and suicides the world's health statistics seem to be shifting drastically into uncharted territory.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu May 02, 2013 2:58 pm

Among adolescents the highest estimate I've seen in ~14%. Of course guys hide it more, it's unacceptable to be seen as unable to cope
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Panty Anarchy » Thu May 02, 2013 2:59 pm

You gotta be strong as a man. Nut up or shut up. No weakness allowed.
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