Hana wrote:Sigh. Bel, if you have to keep asking if there's things you should add, you're not going to be accepted. There is only a certain amount of hand-holding I will do. I've helped you essentially re-write your character's entire plot-hook section. I should not have to tell you what you need to add or remove from the rest of your sheet.
If you need a little help with a specific portion of the sheet, I will be happy to help. But not with vague "hey is there anything else I need?" sort of stuff.
Those who come to me and say "Hey, I'd like some help choosing a really awesome power." will get help with a really awesome power.
Those who come to me and say "Hey, I'd like some help coming up with a background that's going to be unique and interesting." will get help coming up with a background that is unique (different from canon characters, NPCs, and other PCs, for example) and interesting.
However, there is a limit. I cannot help you with the entire sheet. Why? Because YOU have to have the confidence to play your character. You cannot have that if someone else is creating the entire character FOR you, can you?
You have a history of needing way more hand-holding for creation (AND play) than should be necessary. I was willing to give you a chance and see if you had changed, but the the past few days has shaken the confidence I had put in the assumption that you've improved.
Furthermore, the character you've made seems to have no flaws other than being overly emotional. This is called a Mary Sue, and is not something that I'm going to approve.
Name: Steve Wagner
Physical Description: Steve stands at an average 5 foot 10 with messy short brown hair and brown eyes, which you can never see because of the dark sunglasses he always seems to be wearing. He’s rather skinny and couldn’t really be called ‘handsome’ either by his overall unkempt appearance. He wears a white t-shirt, always not tucked in, with a light blue jacket that’s never zipped up and has the number 11 stitched just above a pocket on the left chest side. His jeans are always worn, slightly ripped, and generally have the look of a layer of filth on them. And his old dirty sneakers complete the look of a typical slacker.
Personality: Steve is, quite possibly, the happiest person you will ever meet in your life. He’s always looking for something fun and entertaining to occupy his time, and if he can’t find anything, well then he’s going to have a fun time trying. Steve also feels that everyone has the same right and will usually drag just about anyone else into these ‘escapades of fun’, especially any friends he has around. Nothing ever really seems to bother him either. Everything always has a bright side to it in Steve’s mind, no matter what the outcome. Steve also loves conversation with just about anyone within earshot, even if they don’t feel like talking back. He just loves company in general.
MQuinny1234 wrote:I like the name Steve.
But Daniel is going to loathe him.
Issues. Firstly, a foot shorter than average height would make her 4'5". That would mean she has Dwarfism. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't think that's what you're going for. You mention twice how beautiful she is in Appearance. That's a warning flag. If you have to tell us how pretty your character is, we get the message the first time. No need to repeat it. Secondly, are you providing me with the NPC love interest, or is this just backstory filler?
Codename is OPTIONAL. Look at the character sheet again. It says you can leave it blank.
What sort of help do you need with the personality? GIVE ME SPECIFIC QUESTIONS and I will answer them. If you ask one more time for general help, I will have to put my fut down and say that you won't be accepted no matter what.
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests