In Memoriam of DaCrum.

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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Tuor » Mon Mar 25, 2013 5:08 am

Ya, funny how that is. When in actuality, from what he has told me, he was pretty regularly ignored or blown off by people. Had rumours spread about him, made fun of. All that fun stuff. But yet now, oh ya, everyone was his best bud.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Vegedus » Mon Mar 25, 2013 5:16 am

Those doesn't necessarily have to be the same people, the bullies and the buds. And if they are, they're probably trying to save face precisely because they knew what they did.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Tuor » Mon Mar 25, 2013 5:25 am

Ya, that's what I said
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Yog » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:24 am

Tuor wrote:Yes, he was clinically depressed.

I'm pretty sure his parents would have known that. I knew, I'm not sure how many other forumers knew. Stuff and Lily did, I'm pretty sure.

I could see it quite easily.

Er, I dunno. For me, it's quite easy to know when someone's depressed, but I think it's because that I've dealt with it myself. At least, that's my theory.

It's infuriating that people pretended that they were his friends, but at the same time, it's a bit pitiable. To know that they might've caused him to do what he did, it's going to weigh heavily on the soul. Sure, some of those people are going to try and deny it, pretend it wasn't their fault, but others will be wracked with guilt.

If anything, I wonder how the school is going to deal with the aftermath.

All in all, I just wish that someone else could have seen it as well.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Yog » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:30 am

Watching the videos, I'm trying to figure out which of them were actual friends.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Wulfespinndel » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:45 am

Tuor wrote:Yes, he was clinically depressed.

I'm pretty sure his parents would have known that. I knew, I'm not sure how many other forumers knew. Stuff and Lily did, I'm pretty sure.


Damn. I know someone who's graduated from my high school that was clinically depressed. Shame I didn't frequent on the Therapy thread.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby MassiveHat » Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:35 am

Hello everyone, I am DaCrum's older brother, Justin. I used to have an account for these forums a long time ago (about the same time Ethan joined), but I can't remember the account login information. I want to thank all of you for the kind words and memories of my brother. To my knowledge, this is the only online forum he posted to. This community was very important and encouraging to him, and I am so encouraged to see that you guys still are. I know his passing was so sudden and confusing, and many of you may be sad or angry, and you have full rights to be. But know this, this isn't anyone's fault. Please don't feel guilty because this isn't anyone's fault. We knew he was depressed and suffered from insomnia, and at times said some dark things, but he was incredibly brilliant and nice, and would never do anything to hurt any of us. There were no signs of suicide beforehand. I had spoken to him hours before he died about a restaurant in LA that we both loved. He even had dinner on the stove and had made plans to meet a friend later that same night. Like I said, the entire situation is very confusing, and I personally am trying so hard not to focus or speculate on it. Again, I am feeling so encouraged meeting all of his friends and hearing all the good memories they have of him, and that's what I'm going to hold on to. He is at peace now.
If anyone is in the area, we are holding a celebration of Ethan's life on Saturday, April 6th at 3:00pm (PST) in Redlands, CA. Private message me or find me on Facebook if you want more details.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Tuor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:05 am

Thank you for posting, Justin, and thank you for shedding a little more light on the details leading up to the act. Although, it just makes me more confused, and wonder even more what it was that caused the sudden shift in him. I've posted several times on his wall since, but I want to extend my condolences to you and your mother and father again. I go back and forth still, between trying to figure out/really wanting to know what happened exactly, to trying to move on. It really depends on my mood and how my day is going. Ultimately though, I think that Ethan wouldn't want any of us to be sad, and so I'm trying to move on, for him. I wish very much that I could come to the service.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby MassiveHat » Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:54 am

Tuor, moving on is going to be the hardest task for all of us. I completely understand the anger and confusion, but I don't want you to be angry at those around him or at yourself. He was never really alone. We were all a phone call, a PM, an IM or a Facebook chat away, and that's what I find the most confusing about his passing. As I stated before, he had even made plans to meet with someone by his school that same night. If it's any consolation, because we didn't find a note or specific trigger, and because there was evidence that he had plans for later, we believe that his death was an accident, and that he didn't intend for his final act to end like it did. Like I said before, he never wanted to hurt any of us like this. After all, one of his favorite movie quotes, from Southland Tales, was "I'm a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide." And I'm trying not to focus on this last moment, but rather the 20 years of great moments with my brother.
By the way, my dad is reading this thread. And I don't mean this to sound sarcastic, Tuor, but he likes you. I think you're asking all the right questions.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Yog » Tue Mar 26, 2013 11:29 am

I'm happy to see that he had a good family like you guys.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Riz » Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:40 pm

an accident? like he was just practicing or something? I'm not asking that in a mean way I'm just confused as to why he would be doing that act and not intending for it to be his last one. makes me wonder if there were other times that he "practiced" and it's a troubling thought.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Riz » Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:48 pm

his death affects me in terrible ways that I haven't expressed in this thread because I don't want to make his death into something about myself. there were a lot of parallels between Ethan and I--we would often talk about how we were dealing with similar things--and what if that is one more to add to the list, that he had "practiced" before? his death scared me as much as it made me feel sad and guilty and this is an added concern as well as making me feel awful that if he indeed did that several times before then he didn't tell anyone about it, not even his closest friends whom he would tell when he was feeling suicidal. this only adds more confusion now. I guess I'd prefer the lesser of two evils here, that there was indeed a trigger to this that you guys didn't see and this was a spur of the moment decision.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Tuor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:05 pm

I don't think he means that it was practice, not really.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Yog » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:08 pm

I agree.

It's not something I think he would practice. Or most people would practice, when it comes to those who are suicidal.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Riz » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:10 pm

then I guess I don't understand how it could be an accident
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby tri_force_91489 » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:29 pm

Wow that's very sad. Please allow me to pray for him

Holy Lord, almighty and eternal God who watches over his loving children,
hear our prayers for your son Ethan Foster,
whom you have summoned out of this world.

I ask that you please forgive his sins and failings
and grant him a place of refreshment, light and peace.
Let him pass unharmed through the gates of death
to dwell with the blessed in light,
as you promised to Abraham and his children for ever.

Accept Ethan Foster into your safe-keeping
and on the great day of judgement
raise him up with all the saints
to inherit your eternal kingdom.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Tuor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:32 pm

MassiveHat wrote:By the way, my dad is reading this thread. And I don't mean this to sound sarcastic, Tuor, but he likes you. I think you're asking all the right questions.

This makes me feel better, makes me feel happy, and I'm not entirely sure why. Thank you, Mr Foster.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby EagleMan » Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:03 pm

Riz wrote:then I guess I don't understand how it could be an accident

It doesn't need to be a literal accident. Most people end up regretting attempting suicide. The fact that he had plans and left no note indicates he didn't really plan out whatever he did and that it may have been a spur-of-the-moment act. There are also many cases of accidental suicides too, where they set up for the suicide, decide not to do it, but then they slip or something and it happens anyways. This is even more likely given how he was depressed and attracted to the dark - you're more likely to act out macabre situations, and something may have simply gone wrong this time even if he never intended to go through with it. I'm sure you've had the "call of the void" feeling before, where you consider just suddenly killing yourself, like turning into traffic, or where maybe you stood a little too close to a tall ledge or something. Now imagine you're doing that then a gust of wind throws off your balance and you fall. Plenty of people have acted out macabre or dark fantasies before and had things accidentally go wrong. Given what Massive has revealed about him, that seems entirely plausible.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Tuor » Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:32 pm

Maybe.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Icha » Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:57 pm

EagleMan wrote:
Riz wrote:then I guess I don't understand how it could be an accident

It doesn't need to be a literal accident. Most people end up regretting attempting suicide. The fact that he had plans and left no note indicates he didn't really plan out whatever he did and that it may have been a spur-of-the-moment act.


Well, not that many suicides have a note with them, I think it's even less than half. I did read something a long time ago about suicides (but I can't find it right now), and it usually isn't a one time event, but rather the effect of being grinded down over time that usually does it. I'm not trying to say that it was deliberate, but I'm not sure we can write that one out.

Still, this is the first time someone I've known vaguely at all have this happen to 'em. I've known about people I've never met dying before, but nothing like this. I can't really say I was all buddy buddy with him, because we didn't interact that much, if I recall. The only time I can remember him addressing me is when he said he didn't take kindly to people using music related stuff if I wasn't actually doing music (I do play piano and guitar, but that's beside the point). The only things I know about him are from that therapy thread.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby MetsFan » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:54 am

Wow...shit. CM was an alright guy. I have some cherished memories from spamming with him and I'm sorry to hear that he's gone. I'll keep him in my thoughts. R.I.P.

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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Tuor » Wed Mar 27, 2013 1:09 am

Icha wrote:
EagleMan wrote:
Riz wrote:then I guess I don't understand how it could be an accident

It doesn't need to be a literal accident. Most people end up regretting attempting suicide. The fact that he had plans and left no note indicates he didn't really plan out whatever he did and that it may have been a spur-of-the-moment act.


Well, not that many suicides have a note with them, I think it's even less than half. I did read something a long time ago about suicides (but I can't find it right now), and it usually isn't a one time event, but rather the effect of being grinded down over time that usually does it. I'm not trying to say that it was deliberate, but I'm not sure we can write that one out.

Still, this is the first time someone I've known vaguely at all have this happen to 'em. I've known about people I've never met dying before, but nothing like this. I can't really say I was all buddy buddy with him, because we didn't interact that much, if I recall. The only time I can remember him addressing me is when he said he didn't take kindly to people using music related stuff if I wasn't actually doing music (I do play piano and guitar, but that's beside the point). The only things I know about him are from that therapy thread.

Cool story
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Yog » Wed Mar 27, 2013 8:20 am

I still don't think he would do that. Try, but then change his mind at the last minute. He would have either done it intentionally, or not.

It was an accident. That's what I want to believe.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Princess » Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:04 pm

Hm.
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Re: In Memoriam of DaCrum.

Postby Blood Lord » Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:13 pm

Blood Archon wrote:Anyways, I was thinking that sometime on the weekend of his birthday, which is September the 14th, of getting as many people together that knew him and playing some Halo 4. Anyone interested?

Stuff, you want to be in on this?
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