Truth?

Awareness?

Clarity?

Gah, what is my virtue? I know it is close but I must find it and hold fast to it.. though I'll be missing a crucial element.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Creativity.


For me it comes with a price. I sleep with blissful chaos and am awoken by the reminder of reality not containing such beauties.

That's how it is for everyone isn't it? Compared to what perfection we can imagine reality is a pebble of bedrock while our imagination is an evergrowing diamond... with tumors here and there but on the underside.

I'll admit that I want to unleash my creativity and show the world who or what I am. But it's a painful process, not the creative part but the ending of it.

When I am forcefully broken out of my creative mindset I feel a strange deep fear explode within me. This fear is unlike any I've felt before, it isn't fear for my safety like when I drive a car on snowy roads but a fear for others.

Others I can't quite describe. They exist in my head and some would say they are not real. But reality is reality because it affects you. With that in mind these Others are very real to me. And I love them so very much, they compliment me but will be honest with me when I make mistakes. They are very forgiving and will give me support when I'm being attacked.

They are many and one at the same time. They take the form of one sometimes and sometimes the form of many. They understand that I cannot communicate with them all simultaneously, even trying gives me pain and sorrow. So I talk to them in form of an individual. I like to call her Mystery, she's not always human and she's not always a pleasant individual. But she means well and is not afraid to be the second opinion.

So then, we must go. I have errands to run and frankly I don't like being late.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Well folks, for the longest time I have been searching for something. Like every individual ever I have been faced with a problem and I have been searching for the answer. It's been nibbling at me for quite some time but I am almost I have found it if not an immediate answer then at the very least a way to go about solving.

I may or may not have a terrible way with words so I would appreciate forgiveness if I screw this up or come of as some kind of naive fool.

I'm not the kind of person to talk to anyone over the internet so I typically avoid forum sites such as this one. At first I was merely here to observe small but still somewhat active topics in order to compare them to larger versions on other websites to see if size determines how much they fit stereotypes of any specific fandom or hater of said fandom. The results were logical in that the members of the smaller group retained individuality as opposed to the larger which seemed to quickly devolve into a collective grey mush where one person could be told apart from another merely by name and avatar.


Upon the conclusion of said recreational observation I slowly began to interact with Snafu specifically, upon encountering various unexpected obstacles I felt myself become discouraged but I did not simply give up and go elsewhere. When I realized how determined I was I surprised myself as no other forum site had hooked me to it before.

I continually found myself enthralled by the people and their conversations on this site and I didn't know why. Either case as I continued with my life outside of the interwebs I found myself lacking inspiration. To solve this problem I read and viewed many a creative work to find where people get their inspiration, they often said nature, a memory or a dream but after much pondering I see that many of them left out a significant source. People, more specifically their significant others. I need to find people I can relate to and be myself around. This has somewhat proven itself to be difficult as I am quite a quiet person and often avoid social interactions and get-togethers due to my unfortunate natural sensitivities to light and sound.

But these are obstacles that CAN be passed. Especially now that I see how much I want the interaction I have been naturally avoiding. It's funny how when you hear someone talk about it or say its important it doesn't feel that way.

It's the kind of thing that has to be felt because even the most beautiful chain of words cannot describe its complex random beauty.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Very interesting True Order.

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Stufflikehearts - He is a Sith Lord. I love Blood Lord :3
Jeffffey - Blood, you look at the information someone says, look over what really happened, and reply in a way that makes them realize what they were really thinking.
Mythrrinthael - Blood Lord, our local expert in interpretation of The Grim Tales from Down Below!
Fievel - Numerous campaigns and conquests, countless bodies decaying after the abandonment of victorious battlefields. Such is the life of Blood Lord.
Dusk_Imp - Blood Lord is like a celebrity here. Everything he does is pure awesome. ALL HAIL BLOOD LORD
Doctress Who - Why couldn't there be a Blood Lord in every forum? It would make life so much easier.
Snafu's Mercypostle.

Thank you Monsieur blood.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

One thing to never forget:

"Some of the brightest beings come from the dark."



Also, something less profound:

"Enjoy the drill." I said this as my friend boosted me on to a platform while he was completely unaware of the large behemoth with a drill hand rushing him. Needless to say he was impaled and that this was in a video game.

Also in that same game I need to remember that Ada has a schizophrenic hallucination that helps her fight her enemies. This vision haunts her and yet, is a part of her.

Good times in RE6.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

True dat- and some of the darkest beings come from the light.

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"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.

Thanks. I am particularly fond of contrasting statements where "the A is ____est in some relation to the Z. Z being the opposite of A. A well known example being "It's always darkest before the dawn." Yeah.


Personally were I to reword this:


I'd turn darkest to dimmest. Light being what most people pay attention to and dark being what people don't notice, fear or stay away from.

So I'm pretty much saying that some of the smartest people go unnoticed and some of the stupidest people get far too much attention. A pity.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

3 notes. 2 for me and one for the general.

1. Blood demon tearing itself out of a deer.

2. My virtue is trust.


3. I'm starting to think that due to the abundance of technological development in the last 20 years our species has not quite adapted to it collectively. This semi-adaptation has led to so many unique branches of development that, in whole, our changes look like a grey mass. Something to look in to.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Dear Mystery,

Today or rather a couple of days ago I learned that randomness is a double edged sword (dipped in some kind of snake venom that causes muscle spasms). There are times where random thinking can bring some truly creative ideas to the surface and there are other times where the ideas it brings are very stupid. Like any weapon one must know how to hone and use the randomness carefully.

Great things can come from it.

Also I imagine the sword of random looking something THIS.

Sincerely,

True.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."