And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Mir@k » Tue Feb 26, 2013 11:51 am

i love you man
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Mir@k » Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:02 pm

WE BE JAMMIN NIGGA

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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Asmodai » Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:04 pm

You are welcome
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:11 pm

The Flyers traded for Simon Gagne, who are they going to pick up next Jeremy Roenick?
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Calek » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:11 pm

Probably the other guy
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Tuor » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:15 pm

Whatis6times9 wrote:The Flyers traded for Simon Gagne, who are they going to pick up next Jeremy Roenick?

Haha, seriously? Wow.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:18 pm

Conditional 4th round pick. After the signings of Fedotenko and Knuble and now the Gagne trade, I'm wondering if Foppa is coming back out of retirement again.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Tuor » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:31 pm

Maybe Primeau
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:34 pm

Sad part is he might still be playing if it wasn't for the post concussions stuff.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Hiryu » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:46 pm

Goddamn it, Blizzard. God-fucking-damn it.
I'm excited.

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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Asmodai » Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:02 pm

That Wilhelm scream pisses me off every. single. time.
It's like a stain on a Ferrari or something, nothing to major, but its there, mocking you.

I'm a little iffy about the game itself though. Starcraft II was okay, albeit predictable, but Diablo III was just blegh. I really hope they hired some better story writers this time.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Calek » Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:22 pm

Can't really judge Starcraft 2 yet considering we only know 1/3 of the story. But I'm really looking forward to HotS, the campaign is a lot of fun to play.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Asmodai » Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:53 pm

Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS

STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling.

Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with somepaper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.

As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks.

Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad.

Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:58 pm

That guy needs to be retaught to wipe or something.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:31 pm

Also who shaves their ass with a razor?
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Millo » Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:52 pm

If i ever plan on getting my ass hair off i'd probably get it waxed.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:07 pm

Seriously, the only thing stupider than a razor might be nair.

So Homer picked up Gagne because Tye McGinn fractured an orbital bone in that fight last night.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Millo » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:09 pm

A friend of mine used nair on his balls. He says he never has to shave them anymore
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Tuor » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:25 pm

Oh, hello

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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:27 pm

All that shitty beer in the door and bottom shelf.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Tuor » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:29 pm

I guess it's where it belongs then, although there's Guinness in the door.

Admittedly, I don't recognize most of the beers in there.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Whatis6times9 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:30 pm

I see Shiner's Bock and 3 kinds of Yuengling, I'm good with just those.
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby NeoWarrior7 » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:53 pm

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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Blood Lord » Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:47 pm

Hiryu wrote:Goddamn it, Blizzard. God-fucking-damn it.
I'm excited.


I WANT THIS REALLY, REALLY BAD.
Stufflikehearts - He is a Sith Lord. I love Blood Lord :3
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Re: And the good lord sayeth: Come forth The Talk Thread XVIII!

Postby Princess » Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:49 pm

Meee too. I need to fix my laptop.
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