You think your life sucks?
My neighbor hates me, to the extent of verbal abuse. Hell, the whole town hates my guts.
My boss is a cheap money-grubbing dick with a bitch daughter who always pisses me off, always fuckin crying an shit.
I've been embarrassed in front of an entire beach several times.
I don't even have a damn driver's license, cuz no matter how much I try I always find some way to fuck it up.
The only lady-friend I have probably thinks my guy-friend and I are retarded. Or gay. Fuck it, why not both? He's dumber than me!
And don't even get me started on my job. Not a goddamn pay raise since I started working in my teens, no promotions, just the fucking spatula and a stupid hat!
But the worst of it? I'm STILL living in a pineapple under the sea.