Cats can be tough scrappers. Maybe all that sleeping keeps them alive.

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*eye twitch*

Blood work and X-ray results came in.

Cancerous modules or nerdules or whatever the hell appear to be on her lungs. They can't do surgery on her because she is too weak. An ultra sound can be done to verify if they are indeed cancerous or not but since chemo therapy would be the only solution I agree with my mother's decision to wait it out.

They may give her another shot for her leg in a couple weeks but I have no idea what it's supposed to do.

Also the pain patch has been making her loopy-ish. Her eyes are constantly wide and she has been meowing for reasons I cannot verify but I guess due to pain.

...

I really don't want her to die...

Edit - But all goods things must meet their end eventually. So its whatevs. I'll cross that sad river when I reach it.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Poor kitty

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it's a tough decision to make, but yeah at her age chemo just isn't really worth it. just hope she has quite some time left before she doesn't have any quality of life.

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I'm still the Queen of Dicks

:D

I'm not so crazy anymore.

I actually caught the kids lighting the dog shit outside my door.

Well, not me. Someone else did. I watched them get yelled at.

Someone defended me. Hah, I didn't know how that felt like, before. It feels sort of nice.

But I prefer being the defender, anyway.

Gah.

The aforementioned sad river quickly approaches.

She has been taken care of paw and foot for the past week or so. Up until the last 5 days she had been eating, drinking and going to the litterbox on her own.

At this point she is a fuzzy immobile piss-scented breathing being on the floor. She is breathing but she isn't really alive, when any of us touch her she hisses. It's clear that she is suffering and pretty much miserable.

Her final vet appointment has been made for tomorrow.

She will be missed.




Death sucks.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

I'm sorry, man. Losing a family pet always sucks. I know that pain

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poor little thing. sorry you have to do that, it's never easy.

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I'm still the Queen of Dicks

God damn, True.

I'm so sorry.

At least she had a caring family, with her. That's all you can ask for, in the end.

It's always painful, losing a family member.

Welp, the deed is done.

Not sure what to say.

We buried her under a tree near another buried cat. The previous was a stray who had only been around for a couple weeks. But Angela had been with us since I was 3-4 years old.

And apparently she was having some serious convulsions/seizures mere hours before her appointment. Needless to say she was taken early.

Poor kitty.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

I would have made the same choice, it's about quality not quantity of life.

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CAUTION: Would anyone tell me if I was getting stupider?

When my first 20 year old cat died, we didn't take him to a vet. Much like every pet that has died in my lifetime, I found him when he passed. We were both in my living room, and he was slowly dying in the corner. Blind, deaf... Not a pretty sight. Death is a part of life. It's part of the cycle of it all. And much like that great circle of life Mufasa once talked about, she continues to live in the trees she has become, and in the memory you hold of her. Cherish them, but don't be controlled by sadness, but overwhelmed with happiness of her life.

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Escape will make me God.

It is better to celebrate a life well lived, than mourn an untimely but inevitable death.

So right now I'm not feeling all too wonderful and cheery. Gramps caught pneumonia from all the times he just sits outside all day waiting for his wife (who I still despise) to come home from god knows what. So now he's being treated and has to use an oxygen tank. He's in his 80s. This is the second time he's gotten pneumonia in the last year. He's really pushing himself and it's killing me to see him in pain. And on top of that, if he dies, not only will I be losing my last blood grandfather, I'll be losing my landlord and my home on top of it. I don't trust his wife to let me or my uncle (who they make sleep on the couch) stay. She's been trying to get us out and replace us with her family for ages. Seriously. She openly admitted to one of the other tenants that she wanted her grandson to be living where my uncle is right now.

Just a big ol' ball of stress.

Fuck.

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"Cogito, ergo vos es eggo." A.K.A. "I think, therefore you are a waffle."

I hope your grandfather gets better.
And I hope things go smoothly for you.
Something I would suggest though saving up to move somewhere else.
Just in case.

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My realism workshop Updated April 24, 2013: Not the best

Blessings for your journey, Sef.
For now, I'd suggest the same thing as Morph, and make circumstantial preparations.

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Captain of Innuendo Strike Forces & Founder of Innuendo Striking Technique

I live paycheck to paycheck, so it's REEEEEEEEALLY hard to save at all. Right now though if he were to pass on, I'd have enough saved to pay for moving. I have a backup place I could move into I organized for if something like that were to happen now. But for this moment, I think my grandfather is going to be okay. He's stable, but he's still on oxygen and will be staying in the hospital until further notice.

Still, the second he's back I'm not gonna let him sit outside anymore. Don't care what he says, he'll get sick again if he tries and it's been getting below freezing over here lately. He'll be stubborn as a mule (hope he doesn't pull the rifle on me again), but I think the rest of the family will help with this too.

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"Cogito, ergo vos es eggo." A.K.A. "I think, therefore you are a waffle."

hide the rifle

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I'm still the Queen of Dicks

It's not loaded. But the first time I was scared as fuck and called the cops about being threatened with one. He was suffering from Dementia from a trip back from Mexico a couple years back when it happened. He wasn't being given the proper pills over there, so his mind and health deteriorated until someone brought him back to the states. Went down like this; charged with keeping him from wandering off to god knows where, tried to go out the side door, wouldn't let him, find myself looking down the barrel of a hunting rifle, fled the house, called it in fearing he'd kill someone with it. Seriously, he's survived so much stupid shit he puts himself through, I'm amazed he's still kicking... But can't really blame him for being bamboozled out of proper pills. I just worry about the old man...

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"Cogito, ergo vos es eggo." A.K.A. "I think, therefore you are a waffle."

Bringing this back for my own benefit (i might pin this as well, because i feel like it's fairly important.)

So, my girlfriend and I broke up (big surprise.) We came to the conclusion that neither of us are in a particularly healthy mental state and that neither of us are ready for a long and healthy relationship. I'm still hurting and recovering from a break-up I had two years ago and she's dealing with a whole wack-load of shit that I would not feel comfortable divulging here.

The issue here is that 1. I, expectantly, feel like complete shit because we actually...had something, I guess. We played retro games together and watched shitty movies and laughed at the same shit and just... it was good. And 2. I kinda... don't wanna leave it where it is now. I mean, I'm not gonna go up to her and ask her out again in a few days time, but I feel like... given time, once we get our shit sorted out, we could actually work out and be a really good couple.

So my question, or questions, to you guys are as follows:
1. Is this a good idea?
2. How do you deal with break-ups?
3. Is dating worth it at all?

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Soulchild: u thnk evry thng stupid.
DaCrum: Warbear, why did you suddenly become pretty cool? Stop it.

1. Very good idea. If you're both lingering elsewhere, it's a bad idea to date someone.
2. Alcohol. Video games. Food. Hanging out with people I can stand.
3. To me? I'm not dating again until I sort all my shit out. So when I actually have a boyfriend again, I'm not a depressed mess.

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Tuor: Stuff is our resident, hot mess, alcoholic.
Senel: Stuff is the patron saint of getting shitfaced. You replaced your organs with an engine that runs solely on alcohol.
RIP Lucky. I love you so much.

1. I think so, giving a little bit of space and time to get shit settled is typically a good thing, imo.

2. I don't, as in I've never had to really deal with such. Both a bad and good thing.

3. Probably to some extent when you don't have too many other priorities. I'm personally just focusing on my studies and if something happens to happen then it happens.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

1. To me, if you both felt happier being around each other, then I don't know that you should give up having any sort of relationship between you completely. If it's feasible I think you should still try to be friends, and hang out and support each other, since it seemed to help you both.

2. It's different for everyone. For me, my last break up was before I could drink, so it mostly consisted of listening to very emotionally charged music for the catharsis. Now, there would also be drinking though, I imagine. It's important not to stay in that stage too long though, and to try not to dwell on it.

3. This is a hard question, because it all depends on you and what you want in life in the end. Personally, yes, I have found it worth it.

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She said she'd be willing to give it another shot. I presented it as a definite maybe if the circumstances are right in the future.

I think what I'm going to do is watch Game Grumps videos and play some video games with friends. My shift got canceled tonight so I have plenty of time to myself.

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Soulchild: u thnk evry thng stupid.
DaCrum: Warbear, why did you suddenly become pretty cool? Stop it.

Honestly both of you need to figure yourselves out, neither of you will be able to actually move on to build a solid relationship with each other or anyone else for that matter if you can't level out emotionally. By level out I don't mean being happy, but you can't be consumed by anger or sadness or whatever "negative" emotion, those emotions are perfectly fine to have but to let them consume or control you is negative.

As far as handling it do whatever your emotions tell you, unless it feels like a point that it is controlling you and then do something that makes you happy.

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CAUTION: Would anyone tell me if I was getting stupider?