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PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:43 pm 
Mercypostle
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:29 am 
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Ok then.

Finally had appointment with neurologist.

He confirmed that I apparently DO have migraines often. Particularly in noisy* or crowded* areas. Here I was thinking that was all just due to paranoia.

I have been prescribed anti-migraine medication to ease the pain/discomfort. I think I may have had these on and off migraines for so long that I didn't know it were out of the ordinary.

The absence seizures have not been confirmed yet.

Anywho, I am going to receive or go through (whatever the right term is) an MRI and a few other tests within the next 4 weeks that will do such and a lot of other things that I don't entirely understand but can easily read up about.

Progress is happening folks.

*As defined by me.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:54 pm 
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@Tuor: To me it seems like she's trying to shut people out. Keep a close eye on her, since she has a history of self harming.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:02 am 
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Hmm, ya, problem is just I'm not sure how to prevent her from doing that, without her realizing that's what I'm doing, and then just shutting people out more

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 9:05 am 
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I don't know if this is the right thread for this but my gf is self harming. I don't know what to do, halp? Where do i take her or what...?

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 9:07 am 
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ah to be explicit, she self harms by "unconciously"scraping those little strands of nail between the nail and skin of the finger...? sorry idk how they're called in english. Both of her hands are very damaged at the fingertips, she does this all the time because as she scrapes one strand, she creates another, and she digs and digs until blood comes out and eaargh. XC

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 1:50 pm 
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Most likely a nervous tick.

Talk her into visiting a psychologist.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 4:01 pm 
Rest easy Ethan
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Maybe just talk to her and see what she's nervous or stressed about, because it does seem like something she'd just do without necessarily realizing. Although you did say "unconsciously", what makes you think it's not?

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 7:47 pm 
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Because she used to do it when i first met her, but it would only happen when she got real nervous about something, now she does it everyday even though she has no problems. I already talked to her and she insists on saying "i don't realize i do it".

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 7:56 pm 
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It honestly sounds more subconscious. It's almost like an extension of nail biting, so it wouldn't surprise me that when she doesn't have her mind occupied that she does it on top of when she is nervous.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 7:58 pm 
Rest easy Ethan
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Maybe, but it seems like it's something she has started doing all the time and she didn't used to.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:26 pm 
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I'm not sure when it was that she stopped doing it rarely to do it all the time.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:46 pm 
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Yeah, I bite my nails all the time. That sounds kinda like it. Typically when I'm bored or nervous I suppose. Should probably do something about it.

I'd say either talk to a professional, or I suppose there might be online guides for nervous ticks like that. Not sure. If she keeps doing it til she bleeds it's definitely something to do something about. No reason she'd start doing it again, huh?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:25 am 
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Weeeelll... lets umm see here...
It has been quite a while since i have been here.

I realize i cannot talk about what i feel, or at least i have a much harder time with people i know and see on daily basis, like its easier to talk about things with strangers.

I am depressed... not like "aw bitch i am soooooo depressed boo hoo the life of a teenager/20something guy is so hard oh my goooosh"
Im talking about feeling anxious, empty, hopeless, worried, worthless, irritable, hurt, restless!
I m not eating as well as i should and i am sleeping too much or there are days where i don't sleep for an entire 2 days but i don't make up for it because the amount of sleep i get after that is excessive. Self destructive thoughts have returned and even some habits... i dont cut myself mind you or related but its more like living with little regard for my safety... Acting reckless i guess, Today was the first time in my life i get kicked out of the workshop and i have worked with heavy duty materials and power tools as long as i can remember... No i was not careless, accidents happen at random this was a premeditated reckless act but this isn't about that...

I don't even know how or when it started. i don't think anything major life changing has happened as of late it just sorta grew up and started dragging me down piece by piece.

Not even sure why i am posting here? is it to simply read reassurance of empty words. Devoid of any actual interest? "you are gonna be fine, you'll get over it eventually" am i really that shallow?

I guess i had though that i would figure out what as wrong once i finished writing the first few sentences without having to come to this... if something i guess it was the opposite and ended up realizing i don't know why i am this way.

Jealousy related to my Ex? Well there has always been something there but i usually don't let it consume me, i work to move on you know...
But writing that i think it made me realize a little bit. Not entirely sure but i guess its just plain old bottling up. every single tiny little thing just brushed aside but unconsciously filling up something inside of me. That is probably one of the main issues...

The real problem is that i think i am alone. I have always thought that the less i associated with people the less i'd be hurt, i keep a level of interaction with some people, i have really grown to like them.

I talk to them, go out with them, laugh with them. But for some reason i have this impending feeling that i am alone... for some reason i feel like i am being held back and possibly by myself.

Truthfully i am not really sure what i came here for, i dont know what i want to listen or what to expect or how you would react... my reckless behavior, im just not thinking straight... i gotta get my shit together. I think i am just lost. I feel no purpose, i dont know what to expect or what to do. I dont even think i know exactly what i want.

As i said, i am completely lost within myself. not even sure why here?

well then i guess thats just it, not sure what to expect. and as i press the submit button i leave with a great loud and deep sigh.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:26 am 
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Oh look an uninteresting wall of text that will probabaly tire most of you half wat trough...

TL;DR: i think i dont know myself and it makes me sad.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:58 am 
Rest easy Ethan
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Sometimes just being able to write your thoughts down can help

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 1:03 am 
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I supose. In a way thats what i wanted.

I feel slightly lighter, but there is still something eating at me... i guess i just need time.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 1:09 pm 
Mercypostle
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Time is good. You could also handle things the way I do.

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Jeffffey - Blood, you look at the information someone says, look over what really happened, and reply in a way that makes them realize what they were really thinking.
Mythrrinthael - Blood Lord, our local expert in interpretation of The Grim Tales from Down Below!
Fievel - Numerous campaigns and conquests, countless bodies decaying after the abandonment of victorious battlefields. Such is the life of Blood Lord.
Dusk_Imp - Blood Lord is like a celebrity here. Everything he does is pure awesome. ALL HAIL BLOOD LORD
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:22 pm 
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I remember when I was a kid and I'd put Gundams and other such build-able things together. Good for passing a little time.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 11:50 pm 
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Okay so I've made a note of not really posting in here much for whatever reason, but I don't think this is the sort of thing that I can just deal with without some advice.

Lately I've been, like, ridiculously lonely and restless. I just have this incredible need, right now, to have someone that I can talk to all the time and share my life with and read to and play games with and just be generally cute with. Like, not even in a relationship kinda way. I just really want an awesome best friend and lately I've been kind of upset because a lot of my friends have been away with their lives and I've just been kinda the same and I don't really have anyone to hang out with anymore. This isn't even a thing that was going through my mind until recently, either, because normally I'm completely fine being on my own and I just preferred to be on my own anyway but now I have this need to socialise with a single person and UGH FUCK

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:14 am 
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need to socialize is good, it means you're human and have feelings and are aware of your own needs
go out and do stuff, find people and try to genuinely talk to them, participate in shit if you have to, and try spending more time with those you consider important

family helps

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:53 am 
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Well, how I met my closest friend right now was by going to events that I had interest in and people came to. Go to places where people share in your hobbies. It's an easy way to find someone who shares interests with you and hang out. Hobby stores, movie/game places, parties, etc. It's not hard to make friends, but with what you're looking for it might take a little time. You're not gonna have a best friend plop right into your lap. In the meantime, family is a good place to turn if there's something on your mind or there's no one around to spend time with.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:00 am 
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WB lives away from home, though.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:01 am 
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Yeah, that and I'm not entirely close to my family in the first place. Like, I wouldn't just start hanging out with my sister.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:12 am 
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If you can't find someone you're gonna have to bury the feelings, which sometimes is a hard thing to do, but you're gonna have to live with it.

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