Well then folks. This is essentially the story of how I came to understand the Spam Forum.

I hold no grudge against anybody, mentioned or otherwise.

Somewhat inspired by Maru's raps. But I can't rap for squat.



So instead here are a series of couplets:


Poem of a Noob
By: True Order

Based on a True Story

I'm here, everybody, back from the dead.
Recovered since the time I was so hated in that thread.

You all remember that time? We all make mistakes.
But you guys were so harsh I thought my spirit would break.


I understand now that it was all necessary.
However, at the time, I felt quite the contrary.


My first post in spam and Warbear called me a queer.
Afterwards Math asked "How the hell'd you get here?"


So I told him the short version
of my little excursion,
But couldn't help but feel I was receiving aversion.


I ignored that feeling and continued to post.
With Roseluck in my sig and my avatar, a ghost.


It wasn't that bad, I was a typical noob.
But then you all raped me hard and didn't even use lube!!


I came under fire from every direction.
Being made fun of for my poor word selection.


Even in the Pony thread
you were making me dread.


Everywhere the Vets were looking down from respected positions.
All the while I grew tired of their constant inflictions.


So I did what I did, I spammed in the spam forum
completely unaware that I was breaking decorum.



As if every other poster wasn't already vexed
what really was my downfall was THE WALL OF TEXT.


They all screamed "TL:DR!!"
I got told off by BR


I tried to dig my way out, but I was making it WORSE!
I had dug my own grave and even rented a hearse!


After seeing all this loathing I began to plead:
"I'm sorry for the WALL it was a simple misread!"


"Please tell me how, if there's way, can I improve?"
They said to me: "Ya just gotta go with the groove."


I didn't understand, there was no "groove" that I could see.
Luckily I got help from the poster PBT.


He said "You'll have to persist and you'll have to endure,
but you should lurk for a few months, just to be sure.."


For some odd reason I didn't like the plan...
maybe because of its drastic time span.


Not wanting to do that I sought to fix my rep.
Only to ruin it with another misstep.


I had no choice, there was no question.
I had to proceed with Twilight's suggestion.


So I lurked in the spam forum for many many days.
It took me so long to understand their ways.


I saw many noobs appear and make the same mistake as I.
I realized, to the vets, I was the bad guy.


I saw this trend repeated for what seemed a dozen times.
A noob would appear, screw up, and be punished for their "crimes."


Some noobs held on, for better or for worse.
All having to deal with that stubborn beginner's curse.


I lurked for two whole months and what I learned was quite clear.
The trick to it all was to be sincere.


Be true to yourself but chill out a bit.
It's OK to dick around but know when to quit.


While you CAN say whatever, please understand.
Think before you post or your hide will be tanned.


The Spam Forum may be renowned as a very crude dwelling.
But it can truthfully be very nice, provided you mind your spelling.





Thank you for reading. Feel free to give feedback or comment.

Please do not interpret this as hostile or negative because that was certainly not my intent.




In other words: You don't have to worry about someone misinterpreting your thoughts, but you have to worry about that for your writing.


Thank you for your time.

True Order.


Edit - Changed a few parts for accuracy's sake. Spelling fix

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Damn, I didn't make it in. :(

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Tuor: Stuff is our resident, hot mess, alcoholic.
Senel: Stuff is the patron saint of getting shitfaced. You replaced your organs with an engine that runs solely on alcohol.
RIP Lucky. I love you so much.

Technically I allude to you in this part:



But don't worry, I don't feel that way anymore, that was back when you guys were nitpicking at me for the little things. Or for the moderately big things like when I thought that Philadelphia was a state....

But it's all a'ight now, right?

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Oh hey I made it in there.

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Soulchild: u thnk evry thng stupid.
DaCrum: Warbear, why did you suddenly become pretty cool? Stop it.

Yep, you remember that?

The couplet about it is pretty vague on details but I don't think you meant it to be offensive in the context. Which is good since I, of course, was not offended.

And technically it wasn't my first post in the spam forum but screw the details.


I might make a habit out of quoting clever bits like that.


For nostalgia's sake here's the page it was from: Welp, we're all gay now Pg6

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

...Man... I inspired someone... Kinda makes me wanna jump... :')

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My DA
My Soundcloud (WARNING: May contain flat Japanese singing)
Feathers: hiatus'd

BUT IT'S NOT MY NAMEEEEEEEE

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Tuor: Stuff is our resident, hot mess, alcoholic.
Senel: Stuff is the patron saint of getting shitfaced. You replaced your organs with an engine that runs solely on alcohol.
RIP Lucky. I love you so much.

I wish I weren't in there. I only glanced for my name.

Also,

don't insult Plato with a misspelling in his quote.

Spelling error fixed, at least I got the right philosopher. People typically mix em up.


And you're only in there for accuracy's sake. So don't take your presence in there personally.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Could technically be seen as poetry but I see it more as mental rambling that I wish to document.
Yes, here. FOR NO REASON


Mental Ramblings/Rants


As time progresses I feel it getting worse.

Strange how when you want something to such extremes, that your mind will provide it for you.

But of course it won't be real.


And yet, I'm happy with it.

I always find myself wondering:

"Is it better to be looking at a beautiful lie? Or the dark truth?"


Reality certainly isn't all it's cut out to be.

But all these fantasy worlds, these sweet escapes we all flock to.

They're derived from reality.


From what I can tell there is technically nothing truly new or original.

Debatable, of course. But look at it this way.


When one creates a story you don't just pull these ideas out of nowhere.


They are results of memories and inspirations.

Schizophrenic visions aren't that different, in that sense.


I once saw a disturbing skinless demon bug, with a very strange somewhat indescribable form.


But I am able to notice that this seemingly original image is in fact a strange mish-mash of past memories, images combined in a frankenstein like creation.


After mentally disecting the monstrosity I can tell that it is a disturbing combination of

this:


this:


and last but not least this:



Were I an artist I would draw it, but sadly I am not.

The strange monstrosity haunted me for the longest while until I was able to deduce its origin.

Obviously this it but one example so it proves nothing, but it merely introduces the most likely already proven or dis-proven theory that "original ideas" are just the result of what you have felt with any of your senses. Therefore they technically aren't 100% original.

But if the theory was law then nothing is.

So maybe I have a point? Or perhaps I am just digging myself into a rut of ignorance.

Worst case scenario let us continue digging so that we might find treasure,
or at the very least bedrock.


I understand that the monstrosity was just a hallucination that resulted from an extreme lack of sleep, but still it puzzles me how my brain, regardless of its condition, would think:

"Ya know, what would be scary? These three forgotten images combined! He should totally see this!"


I didn't want to be frightened I didn't need to be frightened it just happened.

I do believe I shall poke around both on a mental level and on the internet to see what I can learn about the creation process of such hallucinations.


Though I am not expecting too much detailed information.

While a lot is technically known about the brain and mind we are not even close to knowing everything on the matter.



True signing off.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

So I think I might do an audio recording that Poem in the first post, just for the hell of it.


So my question to you is:

Should I even bother?


People always tell me that I have an awesome voice for that kind of thing and I do have the equipment for it AND the know how to use it.

And I can certainly act.


So I guess the better question is will anyone actually listen to it?

Like just once?



I know technically nobody "liked" the original Poem of a Noob. by a Noob
Though no one was insulted by it thankfully.


So pretty much, if I a get a "Sure" or anything like that, then I'll do it.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Looking back at it, I see that poem is quite mediocre but of course this was like my first original thing.

So yeah.


Definitely not doing that audio thing.

But life goes on as it always does.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Well in all honesty folks, I have been working on a fan fiction that is technically based in the MLP universe, specifically in the Pre-Alicorn Princesses era, shortly after Equestria's founding.


I won't waste your time with a vast amount of details but I'm actually feeling really confident about this.



I am a very self-critical person so whenever I "make" anything typically my first thought is "No, this is stupid don't share it, it's not worth anyone's time."


But surprisingly this is not the case for this one. AND I'm enjoying this a lot, so I say why not?

I think I may have a talent for complex characters but I need to avoid making too many, lest I have to juggle them. But then again complexity isn't always a good thing.


That's a good question:

Is it better to have a few really complex characters, one complex character, or is it better to have just significant characters possess complex personalities?







Random opinions are welcome.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

If you'e wondering why I haven't actually posted any drafts or any details. Well, I am afraid of idea thieves. I know that any idiot who steals ideas for such trivial, publicly insignificant things clearly has no life or is simply the laziest of the low. But those people are still out there and I have had ideas stolen from me WAY too many times in the past to risk it now.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Things are coming along quite nicely.


My next obstacle is deciding upon how long a chapter should be, I am wanting to divide them whenever I switch "focuses." Or whenever there is a significant setting change.


There's a very good chance that I am over-thinking this.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

So this randomly happened in the MLP Forum.

I'm not always sure what causes me to randomly write these but here it is:




There is Truth within the Order! But the order is not true.

You chose the color red, when I requested blue.


It's too late to turn back, the choice has been made.

Red will suffice, so I say you've repaid.


May I ask why you chose it, the red one, I mean?

Simple, my boy, it's the happiness between!


What lies in the truth and what truths in the lies?

The color of life that flows in you and I.


The color of passion, the color of Fire.

With this red one we can gain what we desire.


You scare me, you know, when you talk like this.

I fear that you've changed since you touched the abyss.


It's a well known fact that the abyss stares back.

It allowed me to learn of the traits that I lack.


We can always evolve, become better as we grow.

But there are facts in this world that you're not meant to know.


I say we stop here, we've told them enough.

It might actually save them when times get rough.


We thank you for your time, remember they'll be no more freebies.

This has been a message from Ink Blot and Heebie Jeebies.



The end.


I shall call it "I'd Just Go With Order" because for some reason that phrase triggered me writing this.

Life's weird like that.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

H: Do you enjoy it? Sending your creations to their destruction? Even after all they've been through?

I: It's a sad fact that life would have no meaning if death didn't exist. To deny them death would be to deny them life.

H: They don't have to die, you know. Death doesn't have to happen to them, it just has to have its existence proven in your world. Why not kill some random joe?

I: Well I admit that I hate that it has to end like this. I refuse to bend the truth purely because of my personal feelings. The true story will be told. It must be told.

H: Why so? There are other stories out there, they have their own truth that has been bent to the will of the writer.

I: True, but understand that some of those stories should never have been told. You know better than anyone that there are things in this world that nobody should ever know.

H: Does that stop the writer from making it? No. People will say what they want and sometimes the meaning will get mashed around. SO much that few will recognize it. Their deaths will be in vain if they send the wrong message.

I: That's the beauty of any story. Words have no meaning, people do. To read it means to give it meaning. While I do hope that the message will be sent properly as long as someone sees it and enjoys it, I will have done my job.

H: So you'll have your children suffer purely for the entertainment of a stranger?

I: Yes. Though as I said before, I am not entirely happy about it. But if you dig deep enough you'll see that in way to entertain you must suffer. History has proven this and the media proves it as well.

H: You talk of things you don't understand.

I: I speak of my own understanding of them. No individual can ever fully understand anything, there will always another detail yet to be discovered. The Infinite Iota, as some call it.

H: Are you going to pursue the knowledge of the Iota? or will you merely stay where you are, halting progress.

I: My friend, I tell you this because I care. You're being far too critical of the now, worrying about progress when this discussion is hindering it, in a way. The finer details will be focused on when we learn of them. But for now we live with what we currently know, using it to benefit all of existence to our fullest ability. Just as we've done before.

H: You can only help someone so much until they depend on you. You can truly help them by not helping them.

I: I guess we'll find out what happens then.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Hmmmm, interesting, just straight dialogue.

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Thanks man!

I left out any descriptions partly because that's the main part of writing that I stress over too much and because when I originally thought of this I could only picture pure darkness.

I think I'll call it "Whispers in the Dark"

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

It definitely gave me the feeling overhearing a conversation, which is a cool ambience to pull off.

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^^ Thank you for the feedback!

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

No problem, dude

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H: I can't help but notice how much you're hesitating. Even more so than usual.

I: I can't focus with IT everywhere.

H: IT? You mean the feeling of tension everywhere?

I: Exactly.

H: You do know that IT has been there since the beginning of time, right?

I: I am aware of this. But it's never been this strong before, how can I not focus on it, especially when it's corrupting the image of my muse?

H: Your muse, do I know her?

I: Maybe, but I'd rather not discuss her right now.

H: So it IS a her.

I: I'd rather not discuss her.

H: Is it Misery? Or perhaps Arial? I understand that you apprenticed under her for a few years, who knows what could have happened during that time span?

I: ...

H: So you're just going to ignore me?

I: Yes. You're being really distracting and here I thought you were here to help.

H: I am here to make sure you answer all the right questions. Whether you want to or not.

I: And if I don't?

H: Well, it's not that hard for me to twist your tale until it does. But how about you tell me why you've stopped writing?

I: I'll admit it. I'm afraid, not of you, of course. But of them.

H: Them?

I: Yes. When I look around, the lies and the cliches, they smother me!

H: So you-

I: Not to mention the distractions!

H: My friend, I want to help you. You want the truth to be told just as much as I do. You can't let such things distract and bother you.

I: I just want to be true without having to be alone...

H: But you're not alone, even if you don't consider me company there are others who have never left your side. Their physical forms may be centuries, if not millenniums away, but in spirit they are beside you constantly cheering you on.

I: You know that's cliche, right?

H: Just because it's cliche doesn't make it any less true.

I: I really do miss them, though.

H: As do I. But we must push on. They would want this too.

I: Fine then, but I have other things I need to do as well.

H: Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"

Your

I feel like the wording of the first part should be changed. Some thing like "Yes, you're being more of a distraction than a help…." Or "Yes, you're being more distracting than helpful…"

This part just confused, me, I dunno what you're trying to say.

Just feels long to me, consider some commas or something, maybe.

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Thank you for the constructive criticism and what not.

Part of me wants to ask why you care in the slightest, but the other part of me doesn't want to question a good thing.


Either way I appreciate your time.

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"Do you know the difference between choking and strangulation?"