Grim Tales from down below made up stories

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Re: Grim Tales from down below made up stories

Postby grimjr1234567890 » Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:42 pm

shadownerd221 wrote:Pretty cool so far.

Thanks for that
Ch6 is up
Grim Tales: Crossroads of Destiny
Chapter 6: Return to the Academy, Alice

The last thing I remember was when that demon stabbed me. The feeling was… painful, but it was nothing like dying. I could hear faint voices like “grab me an I.V” and “Rainbow unicorn power!” but that was probably the loss of blood talking. I ended up waking up in a hospital type bed with my chest and hands wrapped in bandages.

Riku was there; asleep at the foot of my bed looking like a sleeping angel… the sad fact is that he wasn’t one. I started to get up and lean towards him but then a searing pain started to fill up my chest. I pushed through it and kissed Riku on his cheek. “Huh?? Alice… are you?” he said in a daze. “Sleep my love, I’m ok” I said in a soft voice. Riku fell back asleep and I started to fall asleep too.

I woke up the next day in an enormous bed. It had lavender sheets and blankets and red velvet pillows. There was a faint smell of cinnamon and roses. I got out of bed and started walking out of the room to the courtyard. “Riku!! Where are you?” I called out. “Oh you’re awake” exclaimed Minnie.

“Oh hi there! Have you seen Riku around?” I asked her. “Oh he… well” Minnie stammered. “It’s ok you can tell me”, “He disappeared yesterday and he hasn’t been seen since” she said. “W-what? That can’t be true! He would never leave my side!” I yelled. “Well he did say that he was going to go do some self-exclusion for a while but I don’t know why” said Minnie.

“Self-exclusion? What for?”, “He said that he had to meditate to get something like the ‘Organs Music’ out of his head” she said. “Organ music... Oh god you don’t mean?” I gasped. He swore that he would never use that power again… Why Riku? Was it to protect me and the others? “Are you ok? You don’t seem ok; I mean you have been out of it for a month.” “What?!! A month!! That can’t be true!” I exclaimed

“It’s true; you have been comatose for a month.” Minnie said, “Wow that long… and you said that Riku disappeared yesterday?” I asked. “Well that’s what we thought, it turns out that he’s been missing for at least a week”, “A week? Damn him… he had to use that” I scoffed. “What did he do?” “He used a spell that slowed time down for people but not him” I explained.

“Oh you’re awake… Riku left this for you” interrupted Junior. He handed me a package with the initials T.D.G on it. T.D.G… oh I know what it is now. The Total Darkness Gardens! That’s where he’s gone. “I know where he is; he’s at the Total Darkness Gardens located about oh… one hundred thousand feet below the surface of Hell” I told Junior and Minnie. “But isn’t that a place for psychotic patients?” Junior said.

“What? I thought it was just an abandoned place that no one knew about… except him and me”. I started to wonder how people may have found that place, it was my, I mean me and Riku’s hidden garden. “Well we better not wait, visiting hours are almost up” Junior said. “Brother I did not think that you would think of saving him after all he has done.” Minnie said. “Well he does owe me a fight, so of course I would want to find him” laughed Junior. With that we left for the garden.

Two hours had passed but it felt like forever. We had finally reached the garden but it looked so different. There were huge grey walls and there were huge fences surrounding the place. It was so lifeless and blank, I honestly wanted to burn down the place and rebuild my garden. “Come on we had better get inside, this place isn’t a nice place to be after midnight” said Junior.

The inside of the place didn’t look at great either. It was dark and moody and I could smell death in the air; but something more deathly than Junior lingered. “Hello there! We were wondering if a boy named Riku has come in” Minnie asked the receptionist. The receptionist was a tall and skull like man who greatly resembled Junior.

“Riku, Riku… yes someone with that named checked in about a week ago, visiting some old lost soul in the upper wing” he said in a raspy-metallic kind of voice. “Thank you can you tell us what room he is in?” I asked. “Yes of course. I believe he is in room 678 on the left side of the floor”, “Thanks!” I said. We all ran up the escalator and we started looking for the room.

“Oh found it!” yelled Minnie, “Oh good now to just open it…” I said before I saw her. She was a little girl about 10 years old that was sitting near the window. “Riku? Are you back already?” the little girl asked. “No I’m Alice, Riku’s… friend” I said. I knew we were more than friends but she looked like she was related to Riku. She had his eyes and his hair color but I couldn’t think of who she was. “Where’s Riku? He said that he would be back…” she said.

“Its ok I can stay here while…” “NO!! GO AWAY I WANT RIKU I WANT HIM NOW!!!!” the girl screamed. She started to glow with a purple aura and her eyes started to glow. “Hey, hey it’s ok… big brothers here now” said a voice. “Riku? Is that you?” I asked. “Oh Alice I didn’t see you there. Its ok Camela its just big sister Alice” he said as he hugged her gently. There was softness in his eyes and great fear. “Come sit down we have much to talk about” said Riku.
Promoting my story here: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=51576&start=0
Junior and Minnie are off on another adventure but this time its from a different point of view.
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Re: Grim Tales from down below made up stories

Postby Birdofterror » Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:35 pm

Sorry I haven't responded in a while. Turns out I'm writing TWO stories now. But excuses aside, it seems your writing skills have really improved.

Most people who get told harsh- but constructive criticisms usually stop writing all together, or ignore the advice. I'm glad to see that you took them to heart. There a still a few abnormalities in your writing, but at this point it seems more like your own personal charm than anything.

I will continue reading, even if I don't post: Remember I am reading it.
"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.
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Re: Grim Tales from down below made up stories

Postby grimjr1234567890 » Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:13 am

Thanks. The reason i didnt back out and kept writing is because my writing skills were constantly being corrected in school so I'm used to it
Promoting my story here: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=51576&start=0
Junior and Minnie are off on another adventure but this time its from a different point of view.
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Re: Grim Tales from down below made up stories

Postby grimjr1234567890 » Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:42 pm

Sorry Peeps that i havent been posting my story. I've been in school so i've been busy. any way here you go ch7 is up!

Grim Tales: Crossroads of Destiny
Chapter: 7 Road to the Academy, Riku

“So you’ve been here for a week eh? Didn’t think of you as the soft kind” scolded Junior. I glared at him with a literal fire in my eyes and he shrank back into his seat. There was a long silence then Camela started to start crying. “What’s wrong Camela?” I said

“The creepy shadows showed up again and they said they were gonna get me!” she said as she ran into my arms. ‘Can you tell me where they are?” “There in the courtyard but only I can see them for some reason”, “Its ok I’ll go get them for you ok? Minnie I need you to come with me” I said as I looked over my shoulder.

“Hell no! She’s not going with you creep!” yelled Junior. “Brother its ok, I’ll go with him” reassured Minnie. We left the room and we started walking towards the courtyard. “Any reason why Junior hates me?”, “Well you did attack him when you first met and well… he doesn’t exactly like someone messing or talking with me” she replied

“How would I ‘mess’ with you?” “Oh you know hitting on me, hurting me that sort of thing” “Ah ok…” I said to myself. Wow Junior is really messed up in the head if he thinks I’m gonna do something like that. “Let’s keep walking the courtyard is just ahead” I said.

“Sticks and stones, break all the bones of all the damned. Then they start to fall with, people that become myth” said a creepy voice. “Oh shit… not him again.” I said. “Who is it?” asked Minnie. “Jester… thought the bastard was dead”, “Jester?”

“Yes that is my name, how good of you to find me again master Riku” Jester said with a crazed smile. “You son of a bitch how are you still alive!??” “Oh you mean after you incarcerated me and then killed me along with the rest of your world?” Jester replied sarcastically. Anger filled my thoughts, I clenched my fists but I calmed myself down. I can’t lose it… I just can’t go back to how I was. “What is he saying?” asked Minnie. “He’s saying that I killed my world… which I did but for reasons I only know” I replied.

“Oh do tell us Mr. Riku! I’m sure your own army would be delighted to know why their king killed them and casted them into oblivion!!!!” Jester laughed evilly as hundreds of my Aedric army flooded the institute. “Minnie run!! Get everyone out of here!!” I barked at her. Like that she ran back the direction we came and started telling staff to get everyone out of the institute.

“Riku!” exclaimed Camela, “Alice, Junior, Minnie get out of here!! I’ll take them on myself.” “Riku don’t take them on by yourself!!” begged Alice, “No it’s something personal that I have to do… I’m sure you understand.” There was a short silence and she got up and left without a word. I watched all of the staff and patients’ scrambling like it was an elephant stampede. Soon there was not a soul (or undead one at that) to be seen. “Good now that their gone I can use the only true power to kill you all” I said with a deep calmness in my voice.

“Release seal ‘Demon Trigger’, activation code: Reaper.
Promoting my story here: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=51576&start=0
Junior and Minnie are off on another adventure but this time its from a different point of view.
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