Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

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Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 18, 2012 3:25 pm

This is a alternate universe rp based in the world of naruto. With that being said all the rules that govern said universe are still in place. There will be new bloodlines, villages, and jutsus. For information on Naruto go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naruto or http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Narutopedia



The 11
- Last surviving members of a long since forgotten clan. Fuedal lords quoted the Choboyashi as being a gift to the ninja world. The only ninja clan known to be able to stop the flow of chakra. They were a nomadic clan with no village. They traveled from nation to nation leaving small cells as requested by the fuedal lords of each land. Choboyashi became a household name among the rich and powerful, if you had a ninja protecting you there was usually a Choboyashi among them. This obviously rubbed the rest of the ninja world raw , even those with kekkai genkai were no match for someone who could keep you from using chakra. This caused the ninja world to shift slightly rather than rely so heavily on jutsu. More emphasis was put on the basics of ninja. Stealth, sneaking, trapping, taijutsu, assassination techniques, blending into the enviroment, all the things that had gotten away from ninja. This increased the success rate of all other ninja clans as they strove to make money for their village. The Choboyashi lifestyle remained unfazed by this change, being the most financially fit clan without a village. This began to bother the five great nations. This was made obvious during the second ninja war. Choboyashi ninja found themselves under constant attack by ninjas from each nation. Each land put top priority on the heads of a Choboyashi clan member. Needless to say the Choboyashi struck back in great force as they began to show the might of there clan. Each nation working independently of the other, were incapable of taking on the entire Choboyashi forces. Konoha as well as Suna resolved to form an alliance with the Choboyashi, in which they would be allowed to split their clan amongst the two villages allowing their nomadism to come to an end and a new era with an unstoppable allied front to begin. Konoha and Suna knew that if they could join forces with the Choboyashi, the war would end in their favor. Regardless of their people's true feeling on the union over time they would accept it. Unfortunately this wasn't in the cards for either village. The Choboyashi had grown arrogrant from sitting on top of the ninja world for so long. Having gotten there on their own they resigned to stay on their own and rejected the alliance. This proved to be a critical mistake, as Suna and Konoha simply combined forces to crush the Choboyashi. Although it took a while, the combined efforts of the two villages finally found a strategy to take down the Choboyashi members with ease. They spread the method to every ninja nation big or small, at that point bounty was placed on all Choboyashi ninja known or not. Pulled from their seat of power the Choboyashi were hunted like wild animals until they simply faded out of existence like similar other clans. Or so they thought, just like any clan the Choboyashi had their secrets and secret hideouts to go to in dire situations. During this time as they tried to rejuvenate the clan, small rebellions were held to strike back at those who had defeated them. Such rebellions were quickly quelled. Choboyashi clan members grew bitter with the tree of hatred that grew steadily as timed passed and their numbers dwindled. Even after there were no more Choboyashi uprisings the bounty that was put on the clan so long ago remained in effect. Until only recently when Konoha allowed what they believe to be the last Choboyashi to live amongst them and become a ninja. Sadly, a tree grown on hate has no place for white flowers among it's blood stained roots, rotting trunk, and leaves of fire.

This rp has more emphasis is put on the basics of ninja. Stealth, sneaking, trapping, taijutsu, assassination techniques, blending into the enviroment, all the things that have gotten away from ninja in naruto. Keep this in mind while creating your characters.

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Villiage:

Rank:

Personality:

Appearence:

Stats:
Talent vs. Experience: Before you list you’re characters stats you will have to decide if you’re character is either talented or experienced. (this decision does not affect your characters background)

Experienced: Your character starts with 35 stat points. Your character also begins with your choice of either a natural ability or a blood line limit although the power of your characters natural ability/blood line limit will be lesser than those of the talented. Examples of the natural abilities/ blood line limits of the experienced include a level 1 sharingan, enhanced intelligence, enhanced perception and so on.

Talented: Your character will only start with 25 stat points, however the potency of your characters natural ability/ bloodline limit will be more so than the experienced. Examples of the natural abilities/blood line limits afforded to the talented include: Mangekyo sharingan, greatly enhanced intelligence, greatly enhanced perception, so on.

You may only choose one natural ability/blood line limit, or you don't have to have one.

0-no skill, 1-3 poor, 4-6 average, 7-10 exceptional, 11-> mastery

(Putting a zero means your character is incapable of performing that skill. For example, putting zero points in chakra control means your character cannot mold chakra. You must put at least 1 point in health /chakra)

Health/Chakra: (Your amount of health, your amount of chakra and your defense.)

Chakra Control (The speed and amount you can mold at one time.)

Taijutsu: (How skillful you punch and kick, dodge and block.)

Ninjutsu: (How proficient your techs are at doing what you want them to do.)

Genjutsu: (The realism, time allotted, as well as defense against illusions.)

Tools/Weapons: (Your level of proficiency, and knowlege. this is to include traps and trap defense.)

Bloodline Limit:

Jutsu/Skills:

Background:
Last edited by Dual Onoxxus on Sat May 19, 2012 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Fri May 18, 2012 4:10 pm

Can you explain what you mean by "Natural Ability" as opposed to a Bloodlimit.

Obv. Bloodline would be like Sharingan/Byakugan/Haku's Ice Control thing, etc.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 18, 2012 4:26 pm

A natural ability would be considered be being born with a genius level intellect, or higher pain threshold, stronger than the average person, able to see/hear farther, things of that nature. I hope that helped.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Fri May 18, 2012 5:05 pm

Lets use Rock Lee as an Example.

What would you classify him as?
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 18, 2012 5:17 pm

Rock Lee I would say has natural ability. But be more specific do you mean is he talented or experienced? If so He would be experienced his training brought out his potential. Talented would mean you were born better than others not having to work for your prowess. . . did that answer your question
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Fri May 18, 2012 5:29 pm

yes. Gimme a minute to retool the sheet.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Fri May 18, 2012 5:59 pm

Name: Tsuin Kaarin.

Age: 19

Gender: M

Villiage: Haganegakure

Rank: High-Genin or Fresh Chuunin (GMs Choice)

Personality: Preferring to fade into the background, Tsuin has always been a more subdued person, but he does have a few things that can get him bouncing around energetically.

He's something of a weapons-nut, always intrigued by new weapons he encounters in his travels. Which you wouldn't think at first, given his reliance on a multitude of more traditional weaponry. Other than weapons, he loves finding new food he hasn't come across before.

Luckily, he knows when to relax and when to be serious, when he has a mission his attention doesn't wander.

Appearence: Wearing a forehead protector of the Village hidden in the Steel, He wears a simple Ninjutsu outfit that is tailored to work with his equipment, along with a Chuunin vest strapped with the usual holsters for Scrolls as well as holsters for equipment on his shoulders and thighs. He appears to fight barehanded at first glance.

Stats:
Talent vs. Experience: Experienced
Experienced: Your character starts with 35 stat points. Your character also begins with your choice of either a natural ability or a blood line limit although the power of your characters natural ability/blood line limit will be lesser than those of the talented. Examples of the natural abilities/ blood line limits of the experienced include a level 1 sharingan, enhanced intelligence, enhanced perception and so on.

Health/Chakra:9

Chakra Control:4

Taijutsu:8

Ninjutsu:5

Genjutsu:1

Tools/Weapons:8

Natural Ability: (Enhanced Perception) Due to his unique technique, not to mention his own exceptional speed in combat, a young Tsuin often found himself losing his equilibrium and getting dizzy spells after high speed Taijutsu Practice. He developed a technique that in combat allows him to increase the speed of his perceptions, slowing down the world around him, relative to his own perceptions. He cannot maintain this technique long, but he maintains it enough for short bursts, allowing him to use his higher speed techniques.

Jutsu/Skills:

Weapon Taijutsu: Having trained with his village his entire life where weapons were a part of his life down to the very basics of existence, He has trained his Taijutsu to take full advantage of his weapons he carries on him at all times. Being so in-tune to his weapons, he developed a fighting style that allows him to utilize his "Dispensers" in combat, firing Shuriken from Pointblank ranges, and sticking Explosive tags with glancing blows.

Omote Hagane (Steel Lotus): This is a Deadly combat manuever that causes the user to spin at high speed on several axiis at once, while firing shuriken from his dispensers in all directions. Similar to the Lotus flower, the Attack blooms outward in a radius of death, with the Chakra expended in the manuever taking on the appearance of a blooming lotus flower from the constant emissions that maintain and control the spinning.

Seal of Detonating Flame: In this manuever, High speed Taijutsu is used to attach Chakra linked Explosive tags in a sealing pattern around the opponent, capturing them in place. If the captured person moves from the sealed position, crossing the denoted line, the tags detonate, although due to their linked nature, the explosion is not as massive and damaging as it usually is.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby BradaoOfCartha » Fri May 18, 2012 6:27 pm

have CS up later tonight.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 18, 2012 7:41 pm

Rayven I like it, i have few inquiries though. Could you tell me exactly what pattern the bomb tags in your Seal of Detonating Flame tech are in. Do they wrap around the opponent like a mummy, or do they stick to the ground and limit the enemy within a circle. I kinda need a more specific words and less enigmatic words like sealing pattern because there are tons of those, you know what I mean.

Omote Hagane, when he's spinning is he on his toes, his head, or his hand? You see what I mean about the vague description because multiple axis' leads me to believe he's like moving from like one body part to the next and spinning (like break dancing). Which is fine if that's what he's doing I jus need to be aware and it helps others during the story. The radius you DO NOT have to state what the radius is but just have one in your mind. I say that because you didn't mention his height making it hard to guesstimate, that plays a part in this tech I think.

Dispensers, what do you mean? You mean the pouches they use to hold there tools? Jus give a short and simple description.

Also, your a fresh chuunin. . . your in.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Fri May 18, 2012 8:06 pm

lol, I forgot the explanations this time. I'll PM them to you.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 18, 2012 8:14 pm

ok
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Glacier » Fri May 18, 2012 8:45 pm

I'll have a CS up soonish. I'm on a road trip atm. I'll pm my ideas first. I got a new bloodlimit in the works.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 18, 2012 9:24 pm

ok i'll be here, when your ready.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby BradaoOfCartha » Sat May 19, 2012 12:55 am

Name: Akisame Shiraha

Age: 14

Gender: Male

Villiage: Haganakure originally, now Amegakure

Rank: about to graduate AS, fresh Genin (Gm decide)

Personality: Very shy, but in battle but will change personality, depending on the main sword he is using. He is actually a closet poet, and when he opens up to a person, will talk to them normally, and even recite some poems.

He loves his 7 swords as if they are his own family. (They pretty much are) He also has a split personality, depending on which sword he holds, or is closest too him, without them, he shuts off the entire outside world.

Appearence: He has long spiky red hair, stands at 4'11, has green eyes, and is very pale. He wears Brown Gloves, a Red and White v-neck shirt, under a small pale yellow men's kimono. He wears a pair of black sandals, and cloth leggings. He also has a large yellow belt around him on his shoulder.

Stats:
Talented vs. Experienced: Talented

Talented: Your character will only start with 25 stat points, however the potency of your characters natural ability/ bloodline limit will be more so than the experienced. Examples of the natural abilities/blood line limits afforded to the talented include: Mangekyo sharingan, greatly enhanced intelligence, greatly enhanced perception, so on.

0-no skill, 1-3 poor, 4-6 average, 7-10 exceptional, 11-> mastery

(Putting a zero means your character is incapable of performing that skill. For example, putting zero points in chakra control means your character cannot mold chakra. You must put at least 1 point in health /chakra)

Health/Chakra: 5

Chakra Control: 5

Taijutsu: 3

Ninjutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 1

Tools/Weapons: 8

Natural Ability: (Enhanced Knowledge) Thanks to his, unfortunate, circumstances he has been given the access to more knowledge than he normally would. He is also given much more talent with blades, however, he is burdened with the knowledge and has terrible headaches when thinking too much, so much to the point, that he will pass out from it. Each of the swords he carries contains a whole persons thoughts and feelings, allowing him access to all of them.

Jutsu/Skills:
Issui Ittou (Water Blade): Using his chakra to control water, he can create a blade of water, which he can launch at high speeds, able to deflect most projectiles, and has the power of a large kunai.

Tokkan massugu (Straight lightning attack): By charging his sword with chakra, he can use it to shoot lightning, or stab the ground to send the current through the ground, it weakens with length.

Background: Akisame originally lived in Haganegakure, with his caring mother, Hyomu, his protective father, Tenka, his outgoing older sister, Kasumi, his two rowdy brothers, Hirashin and Raiden, his goffy female cousin, Hisame, and his secretive uncle Rakurai. He was a happy boy, learning to use swords and become a talented ninja. Until one day when he was 7, his family was attacked, he was the only one left alive, each of his family member's swords laid on the ground. He sat in the corner looking at the anbu that had left them near death with hatred in his eyes. So he grabbed his Iron Umbrella and attacked, but the mysterious anbu stopped him, "You have quite the talent, perhaps you could be a legendary swordsman one day." The man said. Akisame couldn't stop crying. "Bring them back, please!" He yelled. The Anbu said, "Okaym but their are some, curses added to this." and through a forbidden Jutsu, he sealed them inside of their swords. The anbu left Akisame alone then as Akisame sat and began to cry himself to sleep, thinking the man had left no trace of them left. It began to rain on his house afterwards. When he woke up he grabbed his mother's sword and hugged it. He then heard his mother's voice, "Don't cry, we're here for you." He heard her say. "Grab the others, keep us safe, and you will never be alone." She said. He did as he was told, and found each of the swords spoke to him, but only one at a time. He then tried to leave, looking for the Anbu that had done this, everywhere he went, a rain cloud would follow within 3 days, and if he stayed still it would grow until it covered an entire village. Eventually, he was banished, due to the damage he made with the rain, and now lives in Amegakure, so it doesn't seem any different than normal.

(I hope this is okay with you, I can change anything needed.)
Last edited by BradaoOfCartha on Sat May 19, 2012 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Sat May 19, 2012 12:50 pm

Brad: how does his unfortunate background give him enhanced knowledge/sword skills?
elaborate on enhanced knowledge.

Also so EVERYONE KNOWS this rp is going to be based around actual ninja skills like stealth, sneaking, trapping, taijutsu/weapon skill, assassination techniques, and blending into the environment.

EVERYONE should take this chance to include a few of these aspects into their character.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Sat May 19, 2012 7:49 pm

Also Bradao, your CS could use a bit of a polish. There's quite a few obvious typos in there.

Just some friendly concrit.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby BradaoOfCartha » Sat May 19, 2012 11:25 pm

I explained on the talent abilities, working on polish now.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Thu May 24, 2012 10:27 pm

Brad I have a problem with how odd your backstory is. My concern lies in the fact that the Anbu came to kill shiraha's whole family. Killed the family but not him, odd. Then he decides to have a change of heart and seal the souls of shiraha's family in swords. Improbable, simply because that is a very powerful jutsu for one Anbu to do let alone 7 souls on top of that it would take quite a bit of time also. You may need to change the backstory so that it makes a little more since. Not to say that I hang out with assassins on the weekends but I don't think a killer would kill a whole family then compliment the distraught kid that attempted to take his life. Let alone do something as tasking as seal souls to 7 swords. Maybe he could show his talent with a blade, by severely wounding the Anbu. Then maybe a great ninja of the village could do said forbidden soul sealing jutsu.

Whatever you choose to do I need the backstory altered.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Fri May 25, 2012 4:08 pm

BradaoOfCartha wrote:Name: Akisame Shiraha

Age: 14

Gender: Male

Villiage: Haganakure originally, now Amegakure

Rank: about to graduate AS, fresh Genin (Gm decide)

Personality: Very shy, but in battle but will change personality, depending on the main sword he is using. He is actually a closet poet, and when he opens up to a person, will talk to them normally, and even recite some poems.

He loves his 7 swords as if they are his own family. (They pretty much are) He also has a split personality, depending on which sword he holds, or is closest too him, without them, he shuts off the entire outside world.

Appearence: He has long spiky red hair, stands at 4'11, has green eyes, and is very pale. He wears Brown Gloves, a Red and White v-neck shirt, under a small pale yellow men's kimono. He wears a pair of black sandals, and cloth leggings. He also has a large yellow belt around him on his shoulder.

Stats:
Talented vs. Experienced: Talented

Talented: Your character will only start with 25 stat points, however the potency of your characters natural ability/ bloodline limit will be more so than the experienced. Examples of the natural abilities/blood line limits afforded to the talented include: Mangekyo sharingan, greatly enhanced intelligence, greatly enhanced perception, so on.

0-no skill, 1-3 poor, 4-6 average, 7-10 exceptional, 11-> mastery

(Putting a zero means your character is incapable of performing that skill. For example, putting zero points in chakra control means your character cannot mold chakra. You must put at least 1 point in health /chakra)

Health/Chakra: 5

Chakra Control: 5

Taijutsu: 3

Ninjutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 1

Tools/Weapons: 8

Natural Ability: (Enhanced Knowledge) Thanks to his...unfortunate circumstances, he has been given access to more knowledge than he normally would (be allowed(?)). He (has) also (been) given much more talent with blades, (but) is burdened with the knowledge and has terrible headaches when thinking too much. ((Entire sentence edit)So much that he will pass out from them). Each of the swords he carries contains a whole person's thoughts and feelings, allowing him access to all of them(Them? Meaning; personalities, skills, knowledge, abilities?).

Jutsu/Skills:
Issui Ittou (Water Blade): Using his chakra to control water, he can create a blade of water, which he can launch at high speeds, (able to deflect most projectiles (Needs an explanation for this bit, If it functions like a blade, and has a physical presence, it should be able to deflect most things and this bit is unecessary.) ), and has the power of a large kunai.

(Tokkan massugu (I'll admit I don't know much about the japanese language, but this phrasing seems incorrect. "Massugu Tokkan" seems like it makes more sense.) ) (Straight lightning attack): By charging his sword with chakra, he can use it to shoot lightning, or stab the ground to send the current through the ground, ( (Complete Section edit) it loses strength at longer ranges).

Background: Akisame originally lived in Haganegakure, with his caring mother, Hyomu, his protective father, Tenka, his outgoing older sister, Kasumi, his two rowdy brothers, Hirashin and Raiden, his (goofy) female cousin, Hisame, and his secretive uncle Rakurai. He was a happy boy, learning to use swords and become a talented ninja. Until one day when he was 7, his family was attacked, he was the only one left alive, each of his family member's swords laid on the ground. He sat in the corner looking at the (ANBU) that had left them near death with hatred in his eyes. So he grabbed his Iron Umbrella and attacked, but the mysterious (ANBU) stopped him, "You have quite the talent, perhaps you could be a legendary swordsman one day." The man said. Akisame couldn't stop crying. "Bring them back, please!" He yelled. The Anbu said, "Okay, but (there) are some curses added to this." (This makes little sense, being more vague and saying it comes with a price would fit genre better) and through a forbidden Jutsu, he sealed them inside of their swords. The ANBU left Akisame alone then as Akisame sat and began to cry himself to sleep, thinking the man had left no trace of them left. It began to rain on his house afterwards. When he woke up he grabbed his mother's sword and hugged it. He then heard his mother's voice, "Don't cry, we're here for you." He heard her say. "(Take up) the others, keep us safe, and you will never be alone." she said. He did as he was told, and found each of the swords spoke to him, but only one at a time. He then tried to leave, looking for the (ANBU) that had done this, everywhere he went, a rain cloud would follow within 3 days, and if he stayed still it would grow until it covered an entire village. Eventually, he was banished, due to the damage he made with the rain, and now lives in Amegakure, so it doesn't seem any different than normal.

(I hope this is okay with you, I can change anything needed.)


I went ahead and looked through it again, here's the edits I thought would work better.

I put the edits in Parenthesis, and my explanations in bold.

This is also just pure grammar/spelling/sense edits, and has nothing to do with the actual concept.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 25, 2012 7:48 pm

Cool, this is an actual inquiry and not sarcasm, are you a writer because that was nice editorial work.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Fri May 25, 2012 7:57 pm

I'm not a Professional writer.

I have written Fanfic, as well as Come up with numerous characters for RPs both that I was playing and a lot just because I like character creation.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri May 25, 2012 8:33 pm

That's cool I was just curious. I do the same.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby BradaoOfCartha » Fri May 25, 2012 11:28 pm

I like being corrected, it helps me learn. Also, sorry posted via Phone. The ANBU was not really an anbu...I was using a future character in my own fanfic. The ANBU was just wreaking havoc, also sometimes the other swords can take over by accident.
Hey everybody, PandaBrady here, with more roleplaying!

Also, please support Monty Oum, his work is amazing, especially RWBY. I wish I was that good.
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Mon Jun 11, 2012 12:16 pm

I intend to start the story with the people I have. I've been busy at jrtc training with sf awesome. Brad you still need to make those changes.
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Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto FanFic
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Re: Alternate Universe Naruto: The 11: OOC

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:46 pm

I got voluntold for a combatives tournament thats like division wide so yeah I wont be able to post the story tomorrow but tuesday i will scouts honor...
"He who expects nothing shall never be let down."

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