Techh's Literary Start

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Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:07 pm

Have fun, and please comment about what you like, what you hate, what you think could be better.

Poison 12/19/08

This poison flows; it flows
Turning in swirls
And halting in curls
Even more mesmerizing as it slows

Red droplets burning
As they start turning

Bleeding because of urge
Bleeding only to purge

Feel Good; Feel Good
Drink it all
And stand up tall
Drink all you could

Hurt like nothing else
It loves like nothing else

Bleeding because of urge
Bleeding only to purge

Laceration; Laceration
Beauty in the moonlight
If only you could see it in the darkest night
Blame the orb for half devotion

Melting pride for shame
There are other ways to tame

Bleeding because of urge
Bleeding only to purge

Shattered again; and again
Little pieced puzzle
Lost and in the corners it nuzzled
A human conscious regained?

Unfound, covered in dust
Eventually awake from its sleep it must

Bleeding because of urge
Bleeding only to purge

Violent confrontation; violent
The silver kept going over
Every stroke a secret lover
But nothing to repent

Clean your mind; your thoughts
Before it all rots

Bleeding because of urge
Bleeding only to purge

Youth found; it’s found
In a garden so lush
You better rush
It’ll get lost again… it’s bound

Fear for loss, no one prohibits
For it knows not limits

Bleeding because of urge
Bleeding only to purge

Hushed; hushed
A poisonous thought
A voice it’s got
Away, it’s to be pushed

Danger and precaution
A warning in motion

Bleeding because of urge
Bleeding only to purge

This poison flows; it flows
Turning in swirls
And halting in curls
Even more mesmerizing as it slows
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Thu Nov 10, 2011 6:58 pm

It's actually an acronym poem. How nifty is that?

Into the Truth, 3/8/09

Is my heart broken?
NO! It’s awoken!
Taken from the sky,
Only, I can still fly

The last day was a mess
Hell did call less
Eventually I’ll confess

Truth be told
Run away from me now
Until I’ve gone cold.
Turn around and bow
Heaven has another soul it’s sold

“Tick tock” goes the clock
And the stars start to rumble
Keep in your shock
Everyone has to stumble
Now just stop to gawk

Always deep inside
With no place to hide
Addicted to the night
You’ll find your way out of the light

Flickering light and life
Roaming around with a knife
Open up my old wounds
Moistening with red sounds

Tilting side to side
How will I collide?
Even I need to confide

Light the way out of dark
Inclined to leave a mark
Each and every person
Slit and slit till it’s none

Into the truth (Everyone tries)
Taken away from the lies
So the soul never dies

Nowise wonder
Eyes full to the brim
Venture left to ponder
Every wish has a whim
Remember ever longer

Over by the kill
Kept the soul for thrill
Away, it would fly
Yonder, off to the sky
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Innocence Abandoned » Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:34 pm

The style is top form, even if the messages of the poems don't really speak to me. Why haven't people commented on here yet? Poetry is a great thing to discuss.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby RedEight » Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:47 am

I know mine needs work. I enjoyed this though, well done. Mayhap you can give me some pointers on rhyme scheme and what not.
Two men walk into a bar; the third one ducks.

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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Sat Nov 19, 2011 4:21 pm

@Innocene Abandoned
Why thank you. I didn't really think the style was all that interesting/noticeable.
And did you not understand what the poem was saying, or that you got the message, you just couldn't connect to it?

@RedEight
Thank you as well. I don't know much, all I do is rhyme, but I might be able to help.


More Poems:

Snowhite 2/22/10

Pretty, pale, all over fair;
A girl with black ebony hair
Take a bite
And fade into the light.
Fool girl, brains are gold,
Without them you’ll go cold.
What would you do without your prince charming?
You’d find your options alarming.
Pretty girl; she’s dead,
Since no one would kiss those lips of eerie blood red



The Lotus Flower 3/11/10

Eaters of the lotus flower
Will you let me share your bounty?
Only now that I’ve realized
I’ve no power,
And fate will have me
Where fate will have me.
I know how to quit while I’m ahead,
And should I go back to sea,
Should I try to go back home
I know quite well I’d end up dead.
And Odysseus, while led by goddess Athena,
Has curiosity and pride,
A deadly combination
Not fit for a leader.
So I’ll come be a lotus eater
I’ll forget my friends, family and nation,
And if you do make it home,
My fellow men-in-arms,
Tell all that I have perished
For Ilion was a vicious foe
And after ten years
All those who I held dear
Would not be surprised
That my demise had been surmised.
Ten years, ten long years
I, a simple farmer,
Have been away from my home.
It feels like forever and a day.
And I’ve something to admit
Even if it might not fit
The person you think I am
But I mustn’t lie to you,
Faithful companions, fellow men-in-arms,
I’ve forgotten the faces, the touch
Of all those I’ve loved.
Ilion hath cursed me
When who really deserved it
Was Helen, unfaithful whore,
She who’d have two whole powers
Fight over her ungrateful self.
And after ten long years,
I am done.
For Ilion hath fallen,
But not without a price.
And should I stay with Odysseus,
He who is prideful and curious,
I’ll surely end up dead.
So I’ll have the sand be my bed,
My roof will be the constellations,
And my food be the lotus.
So please, eaters of the lotus flower,
Will you let me share your bounty?
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:27 pm

In Response and Respect to Miss Emily Dickinson’s
“Hope is a Thing with Feathers” 2/23/10

Not to be contrary,
But I can’t find the little canary
That you say perches on my soul.
He’s stopped
His lovely little song
And there’s something wrong
With him,
But I don’t know what,
And this storm is too strong for me.
I’d save him in a heart beat,
Except I can’t even see my own feet.
He’s so broken and beaten
And I’ve saved him before
But this storm has gone on for years
It’s been never ending
If he could just sing one last time
I’d find him and fix him
But prospects are dim…

Stupid little bird
I’ve had to fix you
For the last time.
Maybe I’ve never spent a dime
Instead I paid with strength and energy
That I never even had.
If you can’t sing your simple little song
For all that long,
If you can’t stay fixed,
Stay broken.
And if it happens that I can’t live without you,
You stupid little twettle-dettle-do
Then I guess I’ll have to die
Because I’m done fixing
What’s obviously meant to be broken.
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Fri Dec 16, 2011 8:09 pm

7 4/30/10

Sewn together
We stand and wither.
Broken soul,
Twisted will,
Nothing left to fill
I’m dead inside
There’s nothing left to hide.
Empty heart,
Screwed up,
Deserve to die.
Who?
You.
Me.
Nothing left to be
God-forsaken life
Taken away
Shiny silver knife
You were mean today.
What’s there to hate?
Pathetic human beings
Nothing is okay.
Eight billion things
All left to die
Including you,
Including me.
Run
Don’t hide
Nothing left to lie for
Shaky, sweaty hand
Collapsed on the floor
Don’t forget
My medicine:
Shiny silver knife,
Bloody tears.
Liquid death
Last breath.
First time seeing
Once in all eternity,
End of days,
Protection for later,
Forgotten
Hatred in love
Seeping together
Leave this misery,
And die.
Unneeded, unwanted
No reason to be hunted,
Hunt yourself
Haunt yourself,
Better still,
Just give up.
Numb from effort,
Take the chance:
Kill.
Make someone’s day
Happy.
Save them from Hell on Earth.
Find me at the end
Without directions,
Without a guide,
Come and make my day.
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Elend-X » Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:37 pm

Quite an impressive lineup of poems I would say. Some are better than others at conveying the message. Have you considered using spaces a bit more? Not in the sense of making it clearer to understand, but as a tool to emphasise what you want to emphasise.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Sat Dec 24, 2011 3:16 am

@Elend-X
I have thought of it, but I also feel like the sans breaks stuff makes it strong too. Mostly I use spaces when the poem is really repetitive, like the first one. Not to mention I write most of these on paper and then type them, and while I write them on paper, I feel like it's a waste of space to use spaces, so I don't. Then I'm just lazy when it comes to typing. haha.
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Sat Dec 24, 2011 3:18 am

Lovely 5/10/10

I’m broken
My hearts spilled open
But it won’t bleed
Pretty little red seed
Would have grown into love
Except there’s no such thing
He taught me that
And he reinforced it
Two boys with curly brown hair
And big blue eyes.
All there is is sex
No such thing as love
Divine truth come from above.
Tell the rest of these fools
That they’re only tools
Used for the continuation
For the next human generation
That’s all I was
That’s all they’ll be
Too bad they’ll never see
Divine truth from above
To know there’s no such thing as love
It’s pure bliss, stuck in misery
But I know I’m free
Since all they want is sex
Since all I know is sex
Still, to never have been touched
O, the irony!
While everyone else loses their’s
What’s wrong with me?
Pretty to see,
Forbidden to feel?
Feelings of lust not even real?
Fine. Find another.
Leave me.
Fine, ignore me.
I’m nothing
But so are you
That will always be true
Come from divine truth of above,
There’s no such thing as love.
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Boxer276 » Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:17 am

there is love and there is blind love.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Wed Jan 11, 2012 1:16 am

Years, September 2010

Forever young
Forever old
Until one day
When time turns cold-
Runaway
And try to stay
Forever young
Forever old-
Untainted, learned,
A way of holy sin
To live life concerned,
Carefree and composed
Forever old
Forever young



Mumble Cycle 10/19/10

Empty.
I’ve died
To come back again.
How many times now?
Do you know?
I’m lost again.
Is this supposed to hurt
or feel good?
Should I do this again?
My heart beats cold blood
Thicker than mud
But it’s broken again
For the part of me that’s died
Far past the first time
And I’m empty again
Once is forever
Twice is repetitive
Can’t stop you from leaving again
Glad you’re gone
Won’t stay up till dawn
Waiting for you again
On my own like I should have been
No such thing as love
I need to learn again.
Who knew empty could hurt?
Because there’s nothing there
It still hurts again
Record over me
Something new to see
Need someone new again
No one’s there
Once is forever
Twice goes on again
Stay alone
Don’t need to go on
Don’t need to live again
Time to die
And start all over
But now I’m lost again…
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:35 pm

This poem was inspired from a picture from super-chi.deviantart.com. If I knew how to link something, I would.

Eraser 11/7/10

Eraser
Made of translucent silver
Passed right through her
Left a bloody mess
A hole in her dress
And through her chest.
What a contrast
Red makes to black
Both on her front and back.
Messy dark hair
Light brown eyes and fair
Gave too much to share
Missing heart, she’s cold
Using nothing but mold
To replace her borrowed heart

But it won’t be given back.
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:48 am

Bruise Fetish 1/8/11

Broken little vein
Large purple stain
Temporarily on your skin…
May I hurt you?
You may hurt me too,
Once, twice, thrice…
Scratches down your back,
The bruise turned purple-black,
I can make it better…
Come to be inside of me,
Let us kill each other calmly
Smother each other with physical love…
Our lips are stuck together
Can’t we stay like this forever?
O! But your poor bruise won’t go away…
I’ll give you more
You’ll make my entire body sore
Then we’ll love each other better…
Inside me you’ll always be safe
And in your arms I’ll have the same faith
Together we’ll be one…
Skin on skin, we’ll find each other all over
And when it’s finished will I love my lover?
No. No, I want to…
And even when I’ve hurt you, you’re still beautiful
Your black-bruised mind and body are wonderful
Muscular, soft skin; smart and caring…
It’s almost gone and at the climax
With cuts and scratches down our backs
And black and blue bruises inside and out…
Broken little veins
Large black stains
Permanently on our skin…
Last edited by Techh on Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Sun Feb 12, 2012 12:30 am

Unholy 1/23/11

The angel with the English name
The demon-me who is nothing but shame
Your holy knows no bound
As demon-me claws from underground
To stalk your mind, not your body
And O, how the demon-me envies
All who know the English angel
But only time may tell
Except demon-me is impatient
And this universe says it wasn’t meant
demon-me with the English angel
Because my body is a soulless shell
And his is nothing but soul and light
So the demon-me is fighting
A battle she’ll never win
Thanks to her thoughts of awful sin:
Where we’re alone, the demon-me and angel-you
Doing what the sinful do
But I would keep my sin and you your holy
Because those are ours solely
So I can’t taint you, so you can’t cure me
Our different nature shall always be
But of course these are just dreams
From the demon-me, whose passion seems
To be more than a want; it’s a need
So come to let the demon-me plead
To have the angel with the English name
Come to love the demon-me, who is nothing but shame
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Tuor » Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:59 am

I envy that you seem to have to trouble coming up with poems. I often hit prolonged writer's block. However, I find that in each of your poems I often find a few lines that just seem out of place. Lines that are incomplete or don't seem to flow with the line before except for having the last word rhyme with the last word of the line above. Just something to be aware of and take a look at.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:48 pm

I've had writer's block since November. Mostly I'm just posting poems from a while ago. I only have a few from 2011 and two from this year. I'm going to blame the lack of writing from being miserably sick for a month. lol. That, and I've been working more on my stories this year. Right now I'm working on a one-act. I think I'm going to post that here soon.

And yeah. I have a problem with my flow and descriptions. I've been getting better at it as I get older, but these first few are just kind of "uhmm... what was I thinking?" I've been editing them over the years, but I just can't fix some of them. Usually it's the ending too. How would you suggest fixing my flow in general?
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby Techh » Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:24 pm

This is the 4th (?) revised draft of a play/film I'm writing, so obviously, this isn't the finished product.

Act I, Scene I
(Treycee and Collin are sitting at a long, rectangular table on opposite sides. They are facing the wall adjacent to them. There is a clock on the wall above the table, marking the middle of it. It reads 12pm.)

Treycee
You know I love you.

Collin
I do. Why?

Treycee
You're perfectly imperfect.

Collin
You notice a lot, don't you?

Treycee
I guess. (Pause) I'm sorry.

Collin
Don't apologize for how you feel.

Treycee
I won't. Thank you.

Collin
(Beat) Why do you waste your time on me?

Treycee
Because I love you.

Collin
(Annoyed) Helpful.

Treycee
(Peeved) What else can I say? It's not like you have many redeeming qualities.

Collin
Please, Treycee, tell me how you really feel.

Treycee
Go to Hell.

Collin
Gladly.

Treycee
... You really want to know why I love you?

Collin
Like you said, I'm not much of a catch.

Treycee
It's your eyes, your voice, your hair. It's the way you care about people, how you love your famiy, how they mean the world to you, and how you'll defend them to the grave. I love that you love romantic comedies, and you aspire to own your own business. I just love you... asshole.

Collin
(Humbled) Oh... I'm... sorry.

Treycee
Don't bother.

Collin
What's your problem?

Treycee
What's yours? Why are you acting like this?

Collin
Like what?

Treycee
Like you don't care! Like I'm just another annoying little girl!

Collin
I... don't know.

Treycee
You do. Why?

Collin
I don't know.

Treycee
What's eating you alive, Collin?

Collin
(Stands; knocks chair to the ground) Nothing! I'm fine! (Heavy breathing. Silence. Treycee sighs.)

Treycee
You're lying to yourself.

Collin
(Calmer) Just go away.

Treycee
Do you really mean that?

Collin
... No....

Treycee
Then I'll stay right here.

Collin
I've been so rude to you.

Treycee
I wont lie, it's hurt my feelings.

Collin
I wish I could tell you why, but I'm so afraid. It's such a stupid reason.

Treycee
(Stands) You'll tell me when you're ready.

Collin
I have a headache.

Treycee
I do too.

Collin & Treycee
It's been a long day.

Collin
Maybe one day we'll get out of this rut.

Treycee
Wouldn't that be something?

Collin
I'd give anything.

Treycee
Be careful what you wish for.

Collin
At this point, wouldn't you?

Treycee
... Yeah. I would.

Collin
Exactly.

Treycee
(Pause) God! I wish I wasn't so pathetic!

Collin
How are you pathetic?

Treycee
I love someone who can't love me back. Every day I let my heart get broken. I'm so pathetic....

Collin
I don't think so....

Treycee
What was that?

Collin
Nothing, nothing.

Treycee
(Beat) I guess our time is up, isn't it?

Collin
Is it past 3:05 already? (The two both turn around and look at the clock. They do not look at the other at all.) Oh. It is.

Treycee
We'll get to see each other again. Sooner than we know.

Collin
I hope. I hate being alone.

Treycee
Me too.

Collin & Treycee
Well, good bye, I guess. (The two exit. Scene.)
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
Because obsessive nerd is as obsessive nerd does.
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Re: Techh's Literary Start

Postby cnjservicesus » Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:36 pm

.
Last edited by Panty Anarchy on Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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