Panel 5: How dare you bring us here. Although it's still pretty awkward. It makes Junior sound like hes the type of person who looks down on everyone. One would expect to ask "Why did you bring us here?" because its more to the point.

Panel 4: I have saved your ass. Have makes it sound like hes announcing it to the world or something.

Another nice page. I feel like I've heard of Nozone before. Is it an original idea?

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Hey, this place hasn't gotten traffic in a while... maybe you want to change that.

@ Grivous: I see

@ Imosa: thanks, I'll fix that later
And about Nozone, first, I think about Novoid, but it sound like Ben 10 =), so I change it to Nozone. You can say it's an original idea

Well, new page, lots of words - lots of mistake, tell me so I can fix it

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Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

The character Gears looks pretty awesome!

...

"They stole my keys". lol

And I think, in the last Gears' phrase, there is a 'do' in "So you know her?". It will be like this, "So do you know her?"

Grivous.

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Grivous' DeviantArt Ask Roberto and Jim - Tumblr

It could be right.

What I find funny is that you swapped the words crime and criminal. "the most wanted criminals in their relm..." and "an unacceptable crime in any world."
Panel 4: "You said you are the Guardian of Worlds".
Panel 5: "...a portal to any worlds... and its the source of my power too."
Panel 6 "they had a little help... from a red girl" and "Can you tell me her number?". lol even though a phone number is made up of 7 digits, it's still considered one number.

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Hey, this place hasn't gotten traffic in a while... maybe you want to change that.

Panel 2 (suggestion?): "--they are not clones(<--plural) - they are from another world, where they are known as the prince and princess of the Dark Realm. [and then refer to Imosa's amendments]"

Panel 3/4 (suggestion?): "-- Because they murdered their parents to gain more power. [and then refer to Imosa's amendments]", followed by Junior's "They... murdered... their parents??"(<--plural)

Panel 6 (suggestion?): "Do you have her number?"

Other than that, lookin' good!

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My DeviantArt

ohhh,nice. the guardian of the worlds, is a perverted goofball. explains soooo much about life.

nice comic,besides a few spelling/grammar mistakes,its really good

Oh RIGHT~~~
The SO-CALLED POWERFUL Gurdian of World just messed with his guard on important thing because of GALS
Good Job, Gurdian of World

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Just always look out for my art fourm~~
DONT WANNA BE AlONE IN MY THREAD teehee~

Snafu: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=46720
Devian Art: http://sam1027.deviantart.com/

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

Oh. My. GOD!!!
It's, it's, it's, it's, it's...


Something out of Panty & Stocking.
Kind of.

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Memento mori

What is "Pantsu"?


...


It is something related with "Panties"?

Grivous.

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Grivous' DeviantArt Ask Roberto and Jim - Tumblr

Apparently, japanese translation or something.

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“One day you wake up and realize the world can be conquered.”

You want to know what is "pantsu"?
well, google always ready for you =)

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

That is a very angry child, started reading today and grammar errors aside this is a great comic hope it replaces some of the old comics on the front page.

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I'm in the U.S Navy and defending among other things your right to be a dumbass about an online comic, please enjoy.

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

Veronica looks so awesome in panel 2.

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I am the one, the only..............um...................... never mind.

Nothing much...
just a new page:

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

I just found this comic today on deviantART! So cool!

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Happy Halloween I guess... http://images5.fanpop.com/image/user_im ... _13071.jpg

@ reaperrose:
maybe you found my daviantart

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

Nice. This comic is pretty decent.

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Innocence Abandoned: And that's why scissors always knows exactly the right things to say to newbs.
Chuckledarkly: Scissors don't lie. Only cut.
Blood Lord: Scissors, I tip my hat to you, my good sir and/or madam for giving me a good chuckle today.

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

newbe here

I like the story so far keep on doing it
think about more charachers to this

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let darkness consume you
let darkness control you
let your nightmares become real

@ darknessvandeath: thanks
and I will make more characters

_________________
Give me a paper, a pencil, an eraser and a pen, I will show you MY STYLE
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=45419
Anyways, I'm not good at English, so, if I make some mistakes, forgive me

I'm impressed with your skill Maxgate, but I would highly recommend you send drafts of your page to a person who speaks English as their first language before you post them, to help correct the grammar and spelling errors. Or, better yet, find somebody you can trust as a writer and explain your ideas to them so they can get the sentences and phrasing perfect the first time, and you can then use their script. I'm sure if you ask around you'll find volunteers.