Steal My Dream

Artists! Show your work, tips, tricks, requests, and challenges. This forum includes visual art, music, 3D, animation, abstract art, graphic design, sculpture, EVERYTHING.

Moderator: Mod Squad

Steal My Dream

Postby BjorkHymn » Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:57 am

Will no longer be worked on.
Last edited by BjorkHymn on Mon Oct 03, 2011 5:18 pm, edited 5 times in total.
offline
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:49 am
Gender: None specified

Re: Steal My Dream

Postby Mimeme » Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:33 am

It's gorgeous! I can't wait to read more :) Keep up the good work!
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 259
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:58 am
Location: Earth
Gender: None specified

Re: Steal My Dream

Postby Maru » Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:05 pm

You may just be able to compete with Wings Turned to Dust! ^^
My DA
My Soundcloud (WARNING: May contain flat Japanese singing)
Feathers: hiatus'd
Manly Crust Breather
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 800
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 4:27 pm
Location: Kiyoteru Hiyama
Gender: Male

Re: Steal My Dream

Postby BjorkHymn » Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:17 pm

thank you both for the reed back! :grin:
offline
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:49 am
Gender: None specified

Re: Steal My Dream

Postby Alopunk » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:24 pm

For some reason the dialogue doesn't sound right to me... This is just the first page so I guess it's just my head wanting to read more. Other than that, the art is gorgeous~
Keep up the good work, can't wait to see more. :D
Lord Soth: ^ That one does have a fascination in making people more sparkly.
Sable: And here I thought the sparkles you added to everything was cocaine.

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Not much of a punk.
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 537
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:40 pm
Location: Somewhere I don't want to be.
Gender: None specified

Re: Steal My Dream

Postby BjorkHymn » Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:42 pm

Alopunk wrote:For some reason the dialogue doesn't sound right to me... This is just the first page so I guess it's just my head wanting to read more. Other than that, the art is gorgeous~
Keep up the good work, can't wait to see more. :D


Thank you for that!
offline
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:49 am
Gender: None specified

Re: Steal My Dream (Character_Update)

Postby Asmodai » Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:20 am

You might not want to put "sigh" into the dialogue. Instead, use it between two text balloons:

Balloon 1: "Where's that sound coming from?"

SFX: Sigh

Balloon 2: "I better get up to see what it is."

That last part isn't even needed. The character already stated that she doesn't know where the sound is coming from, therefore the reader can assume she's going to investigate. It makes things read a bit smoother.
Remember, the less text you need to explain a situation, the better.

Loving the art, I'm curious to see where this is going
Image
Mephobiac
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 14669
Joined: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:10 pm
Location: Feel Good Inc.
Gender: Male

Re: Steal My Dream (Character_Update)

Postby BjorkHymn » Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:36 am

Asmodai wrote:You might not want to put "sigh" into the dialogue. Instead, use it between two text balloons:

Balloon 1: "Where's that sound coming from?"

SFX: Sigh

Balloon 2: "I better get up to see what it is."

That last part isn't even needed. The character already stated that she doesn't know where the sound is coming from, therefore the reader can assume she's going to investigate. It makes things read a bit smoother.
Remember, the less text you need to explain a situation, the better.

Loving the art, I'm curious to see where this is going


Thank you, for the info!
offline
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:49 am
Gender: None specified


Return to Art

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest