My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

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Postby Mauser » Mon May 30, 2005 1:56 pm

and then....
I am NOT insane!

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Postby GridsNaranek » Mon May 30, 2005 5:14 pm

Heheh, and then...

I watched as the last phases of the process were put into motion. She would need clothing, and I watched as several robotic arms fitted her with panties, an underdress and undervest, all in the same pure white which matched the room around her. Then her dress followed, which was slipped over her head, her arms guided through its sleeveless sides by the cords that held them. The dress, much like her hair and other clothes, was the same pure silvery-white, with a shiny black stripe across the middle. A pair of socks were pulled onto her feet, the segments underneath covered by the skin-like material, and were stretched up to just under her knees. Then her shiny black hard-toed sandals were slipped onto her feet.

Finally, a jet-black headband was guided across her head and into place, neatly holding her hair back, whilst her fringe still fell across her eyes. She was complete.


*Author's Note* Still a little bit before the end. I realise that Bleed may have scrapped the gynoid idea by now, but hey, it's still fun to read, right?
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Postby PSI » Mon May 30, 2005 7:21 pm

Nice story....

The wording makes one feel they are actually there watching this happen.....

Good job....
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Postby Mauser » Mon May 30, 2005 7:45 pm

yeah keep it going man
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My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby GridsNaranek » Tue May 31, 2005 3:16 am

Will do! She's still gotta be activated yet...

"Assembly process complete."

When I spoke, I found that my voice had choked up slightly. Odd... "Thankyou, computer. Begin activation sequence."

This was the moment of truth. It was here that my past experiments came to an end, when their overloading of their circuits brought about the end of their short existence. Barasia, my last attempt, had not been active for more than a second before her old-style duotronic brain ceased to function and every circuit within her small body was fused beyond recovery. Her eyes had shot open as the power surge inside her fried her from within. There was a look of pure shock in those pitch-black eyes (black had been her colour) as every cable, every wire, every filament within her was burnt up. She had stared at me, her face reflecting the horror I felt as her artificial body was ruined. Her neck gave a small twitch, and that was it. She just stood there, her eyes devoid of the life I had given her. She never moved again...


*Author's Note: Barasia is, in case you haven't noticed, another of my original characters. She sounds like someone of Star Wars, eh? I have considered bringing her back in a later fic, possibly under the power of the Darkstar Council *grins at Kainsword*

Added after 2 hours 5 minutes:

All comments welcome
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Postby Mauser » Tue May 31, 2005 5:01 pm

this thing kicks so much ass.
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Postby GridsNaranek » Tue May 31, 2005 5:04 pm

Thanks, Mauser

I hoped that I had got it right this time. With the positronic brain I had installed, and the schematics taken from an old acquaintance of mine who went by the name of Doctor O'Shay, I was certain that this time, this one time, my creation would survive. I thought to myself, what if this research could be undertaken by the humans? What if they saw the benefits of cybernetics to better their race? I, myself, am quite fond of the idea of transhumanism, creating something humanoid yet vastly superior to serve my purposes. But Bell would be more than that to me...
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Postby Mauser » Tue May 31, 2005 5:08 pm

.....
I am NOT insane!

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Postby GridsNaranek » Tue May 31, 2005 5:12 pm

The cables detached from her body one by one, the thin instruments coiling back into the recesses of the alcove, having served their purpose. The clamp that held Bell around the waist extended, her motionless body slowly carried out of the chamber she had been built in. Almost like being born, wouldn't you say? The robotic arm that held her lowered her gently onto the floor of the room, which sparkled white like the rest of the place. The soles of her shiny black shoes came to rest on the ground, and the claw released her, allowing her arms to fall by her side. The claw curled back up into the alcove, which slowly sealed itself back up.

Showtime.

*Author's Note: I'll let you dwell on this for a little while. Exams at school... *shudders*
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Postby QuickSilver » Tue May 31, 2005 5:25 pm

Hmmm...yes, sounds like something off the matrix...he he he I like the sound of explosive little girls...must make a note to use that idea in my new game: Load children with ion-plasma bombs.
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Postby GridsNaranek » Tue May 31, 2005 5:29 pm

lol

I'll update a little later. Feel free to comment in the meantime. X is face with success or failure. Which will choose him?
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Postby QuickSilver » Tue May 31, 2005 5:33 pm

...da da dada woo! Go on Reaver! Flack his sorry ass! Whoops off topic anyway nice work Griddles, very...cryptic. Now back to unreal tournament 2004. Oh crap he's got an Ion Target Painter!..............................
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Postby Mauser » Tue May 31, 2005 5:36 pm

no!, don't stop
I am NOT insane!

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Postby PSI » Tue May 31, 2005 10:00 pm

Heh....

Nice....
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Postby GridsNaranek » Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:11 am

"Computer..." I hesitated, wondering if this would work. I never was afraid to do this, but now that I see her, her head naturally tilted forwards, her closed eyes directed at the floor, her small body a mere facsimile of a true human, I can only wonder if this will be a success for me, or another dismal failure. Perhaps I am becoming senile, stuck here alone with only my plans of domination to keep me company. And I doubt the near arrival of the Council and the Irkens will help me recover, either. Could I finally overcome my past failures, and bask in an achievement which would last a lifetime?

"Awaiting command input." the computer chirped, obediently waiting my instructions.

I sighed. Now or never, I guess... "Computer, begin full positronic activation, password Utonium-X-Alpha."
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Postby Mauser » Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:22 am

man i hope she makes it.
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Postby GridsNaranek » Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:24 am

"Acknowledged." the computer buzzed. It had been designed to emit a pulse of electromagnetic energy, which would be received by Bell's positronic net, causing her brain to activate. The pulse was invisible, and the only way I could tell it had been sent was by the little mechanism in front of me. Last time it had happened, the gynoid had seized up, stared at me with her shocked eyes, and then fallen eerily and permanently silent. I hoped to hell that it wouldn't happen again.

She didn't move. For a moment, I had wondered if the computer had sent the pulse or not, "Computer, confirm EM pulse."

"EM pulse sent." the computer responded instantly.

No... no, this can't be... not again....
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby Snake Chomper » Wed Jun 01, 2005 11:30 am

Have you ever read Battle Angel Alita: Last Order? Because this fic reminds me of the opening scene from the first manga where Desty Nova rebuilds Alita. You might want to look into it for ideas.
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Postby Mauser » Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:15 pm

come on Bell, you can do it!
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Postby Steven M » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:04 pm

Read the whole thing. Personally I think the ending is obvious by now, but it's good fun to read. You've done a decent job of description here.
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Postby GridsNaranek » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:11 pm

Thanks for the comments, guys. I've never read the Alita thing, this all just came from my head one day. Let's continue:

She hadn't moved at all. Was she just like Barasia? Was it all a waste? Perhaps I am never destined to create a fully functional-

Wait! Her thumb! I squinted. I could have sworn I saw the thumb of her left hand twitch. Yes! There! It did it again! I was beyond words already, but then I saw her eyes flash open once. She closed them again. Then they flickered again and remained partly open. I could see her eyes, the same white-silver as her hair and clothes. It had been close to 7 seconds now. Had I finally won? Had I finally had my victory?
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Postby Steven M » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:14 pm

It's got me on the edge of my seat! I'm frozen solid like an American bodyguard!

Ah, joking. But this is really working well.
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Postby GridsNaranek » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:18 pm

Hehe, well, I try my best!

Her fingers flexed, inwards.... outwards... inwards again. Her left hand clenched into a fist and she raised it to eye level, staring at it in what looked like sheer fascination. Then... then she noticed me. Her eyes shifted from gazing at her smooth fingers to myself. Her fist fell by her side, unclenching, as she stared at me with those eyes. I couldn't read her face. That was one of the features I had added to her program, expression. Unfortunately, when it came to making heads or tails of someone who looked as odd as I do, the appropriate expression would be the blank face before me. Then something I had not expected flashed in her pale eyes. Was it fear? I couldn't tell. Perhaps waking up for the first time to someone as... freaky... as myself was something she wouldn't be ready for.

Her eyes widened. Her lips parted slightly, as though about to say something. Go on, my dear. Say something.

. . . . .

Say something, dammit!
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Postby Steven M » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:54 pm

"Burlap."

But to be serious, this gets better as you go on.
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Postby Mauser » Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:49 pm

"Something"
I am NOT insane!

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