Sorry for taking so long to update, here's the next chapter. This one's quite light humoured...It will get darker later down the line.
Chapter 2Broken like a noodleBack on Earth, GIR was running manically about the house, as per usual.
“Eeeheeeeeheehee!” the robot squealed, springing rapidly from limb to limb – occasionally resulting in an unintentional cartwheel or two. He shrieked again.
Unable to concentrate, Irken Invader Zim emerged from his base, storming into the room.
“GIR! Stop fooling around. How am I supposed to work on my next INGENIOUS plan with all this... madness?”
“Madness?” Zim's defective SIR unit shrieked, in a sing-song voice. “Maaaaaaadnessss? ...MADNESSSSS...”
GIR turned another cartwheel, spinning further than he’d intended and landing on his head. He giggled hysterically.
Zim put a hand to his head, rubbing his weary antennae. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered. Half of the time - no, make that most of the time, GIR was pathetically useless for such an ‘advanced’ SIR unit. However, Zim was sure if it wasn’t for the odd behavioural glitch, GIR would be the perfect robot slave…without a doubt, of course.
“I grow so tired of your insanity, GIR.” He muttered to the robot, as it continued to cartwheel across the floor, “Unfortunately, there seems no possible way of fixing the problem…”
The Irken invader shuddered, remembering only too well the time when he’d tried to fix GIR’s behavioural glitches. The results had been disastrous. Zim had used a behavioural modulator in an attempt to lock GIR into duty mode, so that his blue-eyed moments of stupidity and lunacy would be prevented. However, in Zim’s eyes, it seemed it had only resulted in GIR becoming dangerously unstable. GIR had been so fixed into Duty mode, so focused, that the SIR unit had seen Zim himself as a threat to the mission – and in doing so, saw fit to ‘terminate’ him. Terminate him? Zim, future destroyer of the humans? The only Irken soldier The Tallest saw fit enough, worthy enough, to insure the downfall of this spinning ball of filth? To destroy him, Invader Zim? If that wasn’t insanity, Zim didn’t know what was.
“Yippeee!”
GIR, who had been balancing on his head, landed flat on his face. Zim scowled, his thoughts of destruction and pride ripped apart by a…a squealing robot…
Just then, the door bell rang. It echoed through the house, with its sofa, its TV, and its Kitchen and toilet, and through the pipes and tunnels that led down, deep into the very heart of the Irken, technology-filled base.
“That would be the pizza,” GIR chirped, springing to his feet and leaping into his bright green Doggy costume.
Zim raised an eye at his shoddily-disguised SIR unit. “You ordered pizza, again?”
From within his doggy disguise, GIR grinned at his master happily. “It's nice,” he exclaimed. “An’ it got double cheese!”
The green dog trotted over to the door, reaching up and opening it. But it wasn’t the pizza delivery guy.
It was the damaged SIR unit from Planet Dirt. As soon as the door opened, its eyes flickered out from solid red to empty black, and the robot collapsed. GIR watched it as it fell over the threshold with a resounding “Clonk!”
“Oooo…” GIR gave the other robot a prod. Lifeless.
“What is it now?...” Zim shoved his useless minion out of the way to take a look. His surprised red eyes fell upon the motionless SIR unit in the doorway. “Oh. What is that doing there?”
“Aw. He looks funny. Can we keep ‘im? Huh? HUH?”
“No GIR. This one’s broken. Look – see?” Zim gave the SIR a firm kick. Still nothing.
“Hmm…” Zim mused, looking down at it. “Hmmm, hmmmm, Hmmm…! No. WAIT. Yes. YES.”
Eagerly he snatched up the SIR bot, running back down to his base with it. Clueless, GIR bounced after him gleefully.
Back in the depths of his underground Lab, Zim carried the SIR unit over to an array of equipment. He was still clearly excited by the discovery of it.
“GIR, do you realise what this means?” Zim didn’t wait for an answer, “it means the Tallest must have sent me this extra SIR unit to aid me in our mission! A more powerful, more…”
Zim tailed off, looking at GIR, who having taken off his dog suit was repeatedly banging his head against a wall.
Zim continued, “a…more reliable…not being-so-funny model…And – GIR get away from the computer!”
GIR had zoomed from the wall to the computer, and had begun randomly pressing buttons and levers on the computer to his heart’s content. At Zim’s words he stopped, proceeding to giggle instead.
Zim busied himself, beginning to connect up wires to the damaged robot. “If I can fix this SIR unit…”
“Aw, look,” GIR interrupted sadly, “He’s broken!”
“Yes, GIR. As I was saying, if I can –”
“– But he’s broken!”
“Yes, but if I can just –”
“He’s broken like a noodle.”
Zim decided to ignore this last comment and carry on. “If I can just find some way of fixing this SIR unit, I will not just have one robot minion to do my bidding…I WILL HAVE TWO! ZIIIM WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE!”
The idea of having another robotic henchman on his side filled his mind with new possibilities, and he started to laugh. The laugh slowly growing, until Zim was cackling uncontrollably, loudly.
And then he stopped suddenly. The Irken soldier held his mouth, disgusted.
“ARRRAGH. What is that horrible stench?”
GIR pointed at the broken SIR robot. “He smells like Dookie.”
Without hesitation, Zim marched over and prized open the SIR bot’s head, with intention of finding the source of the unpleasantness.
He search, to that merit, was a success.
No sooner had the lid on the unit’s head been forced open, a mass of gooey sludge that had been compressed inside it gushed out. Like something reminiscent of a gigantic can of drink being shaken up and suddenly released, it sprayed and splattered everywhere, the gooey substance washing over both Zim and GIR – and the entire base.
…From outside the house, Zim’s screams from within could be heard, with GIR’s gleeful laughter in the background.
“ARRRRRRAHHHHHGHHH,” screamed Zim’s voice from inside, “ARRRRRAHHHHHGHHH - GET IT AWAY FROM ME IT STINKS!”
- End of Chapter 2
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