LFB's PPGD Downfall in the Future: Chapter 0-1 (2/24)

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LFB's PPGD Downfall in the Future: Chapter 0-1 (2/24)

Postby Leon FlameBurst » Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:28 pm

It's time for a fresh-fresh start since my other topic is confusing.
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Downfall in the future

Chapter 0-1: The beginning of the end, part 1

Somewhere in a dark abyss, a little girl opened her eyes and stood up. She could only see a narrow-seen path and a dark-purple mist that surrounded her without a sparkle of light or a sign of hope. She was so scared that she heard her heartbeat the most.
She followed the path to escape from this nightmare but nevertheless the path seemed to be endless space. Suddenly a creepy, girly-like voice appeared and kept saying to the girl:
“Darkness… will seal… your faith…”.
She started to panic and ran away from the voice but she still heard the voice like it taunted in her mind. The pressure was too much for her that she fell on her knees and felt herself stunned.
Then roots grew from the ground and grabbed her, like chains with the movements of a cobra.
She could barely move, not long and her whole body was covered by the roots.
Slowly the roots dragged her in the ground, “No… no…”, yelling the girl as she started to cry.
“Hehehehehe… disappear into the darkness…”, said the mysterious voice again as the last message for her.
Only she could see, was a pitch-black screen in the front of her eyes as she stopped breathing.


“Wake up, Joanna, please wake up!”, said a other voice worried. It was a voice of tender, nice girl.
Joanna slowly opened her eyes and saw the person, it was Bubbles who watched over her.
They were in the bedroom of an abandoned hotel, on the first floor, room 108.
“My… head…”, as Joanna had a bit of headache.
“You’re alright?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing, I’m fine.”
Bubbles nodded and smiled at Joanna. Then Joanna stood up and she noticed Bubbles had a wounded arm on bandages.
“Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s just a scratch…”, comforted Bubbles to Joanna although she had to do her best to hide her pain for Joanna.
“Well, let’s go in the living room, Buttercup and Bunny are worried as well.”, suggested Bubbles.
Joanna nodded and they went to the living room.

In the living room, Buttercup sat on the couch while Bunny looked outside through the window.
“Oh, you’re awake. Feeling fine now, Joanna?”, asked Buttercup, Joanna nodded.
“So what is our next plan…”, said Bunny while she looked outside. Everything around the fields was destroyed, only a lifeless dust field was remaining.
Bubbles sighed and downed her head. “Why must it happen like this…? Why had Blossom sacrificed herself to protect us in order to save us…?” As she started to cry and her tears were too strong to hold.
Then Bunny came next to Bubbles and hugged her to attempt comforting her. “Bubbles, I know it’s hard… But we have to remain strong, don’t let her sacrifice be in vain. That’s Blossom wanted to do this…”
Bubbles wiped out her tears. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, Bunny.”
Buttercup turned her face from them to avoid seeing her tears.

Then suddenly something jumped from the window in the living room. It was a black, very slimy, crawling creature with red eyes, sharp claws and some parts of his skeleton are exposed.
The girls stood back of his surprise appearance as Buttercup slowly stepped back to get her Z-hammer.
The black creature charged towards Bubbles, Bunny and Joanna, Bunny's quick hands although countered the creatures attack with a fierceful punch on his face which made him bash to the ground.
"Heads up!" Buttercup's voice was heard as she knocked him through the window and out of the hotel with a powerful hit from her Z-hammer.
After that, Bunny quickly looked outside and she saw a group of the same creature that they fought him. “Guys, we must get out of here!”, warned Bunny.
“But where should we go?”, asked Bubbles worried.
Then Buttercup grabbed Bubbles’ Z-bubble wand and Bunny’s Z-gauntlets and gave it to them. “To Megaville, follow me!”, as Buttercup kicked down the door and they followed her.
“But why Megaville?”, asked Bubbles. “Trust me!”, responded Buttercup as the girls reached the exit of the hotel.
Last edited by Leon FlameBurst on Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:22 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Postby Iris » Sat Feb 23, 2008 10:44 pm

Hey nice opening leon!
Got abit confused at first with the Z-weapons (at first) but now i got it!
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Re: LFB's PPGD Downfall in the Future: Chapter 0-1 (2/24)

Postby Leon FlameBurst » Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:38 am

Here is some answers that I can fill you up:

- Joanna is 12 years old while Bubbles, Buttercup and Bunny are 15.
- Buttercup and Bubbles has their PPGD costume and weapon while Bunny has the same only her color is purple and uses gauntlets as a weapon. (the reason that I wrote Z on their weapons)
- This happen somewhere in the future
- Joanna appearance: Dark blue on her left eye and ruby red on her right eye, Height-60 inches, Weight-64 pounds, Yellow hair-Long hair till her chest, White shoulder cape with yellow outlines, White undershirt with a jasmine flower motif and the left side, White medium skirt, White boots and has a iron ring which it engraved angelic words on her right hand
- Chapter 0 is threaded as a intro chapter.
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Re: LFB's PPGD Downfall in the Future: Chapter 0-1 (2/24)

Postby Master Seth » Sun Feb 24, 2008 10:16 pm

wow Leon, a little dark but I like it
my eyes see everything and anything... you can't fool my sharingan
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Re: LFB's PPGD Downfall in the Future: Chapter 0-1 (2/24)

Postby Elend-X » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:14 pm

I like it, are you restarting the story of the previous thread, so it's a follow-up? Or are you pressing reset, completely new?

I think that you could add a bit more drama into your action scenes. Example:

Leon FlameBurst wrote:The black creature charged to Bubbles, Bunny and Joanna, then Bunny counter-attacked him with a powerful punch on his face which he got bashed to the ground.
“Heads up!”, yelled Buttercup and she knocked him out with her Z-hammer outside the hotel through the window.


to this:

I wrote: The black creature charged towards Bubbles, Bunny and Joanna, Bunny's quick hands although countered the creatures attack with a fierceful punch on his face which made him bash to the ground.
"Heads up!" Buttercup's voice was heard as she knocked him through the window and out of the hotel with a powerful hit from her Z-hammer


P.S. I am picky so blame it on me XD Also I corrected some things, concerning grammar, I think
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Re: LFB's PPGD Downfall in the Future: Chapter 0-1 (2/24)

Postby Leon FlameBurst » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:21 pm

First thing, yeah, I made a new start.
Hmm... your version is better, I like it! But yeah, you should probably know my level about writing! lol Thanks anyway.
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