Dorian wrote:I have to say I don't understand Koren's thought process at all.
Is he really that smart to where not allowing him to be leader is severely detrimental to the squad, is he not used to taking orders or is he just a jerk? Heh.
Don't mistake this for taking personal offense or anything, just don't really get it or why he's suddenly thinking he's not on the team. Is it because he thinks they don't listen to him? Did he forget they utilized his plan in the Danger Room? Why is he comparing John's thoughts to Miranda's, they're not even remotely similar.
Well, it's a combination of things.
Although he's intelligent and thinks he should be leader, he also is afraid that his powers will fail him, or that his plan will lead to someone's injury. So he wants responsibility but is afraid of it at the same time. He is also concerned that he will become irrelevant because the last mission, almost every suggestion he made was turned down, save for his last, snap decision, which no one had a chance to object to, and which was the one he was by far the most unsatisfied with.
Probably most importantly, his powers, at least the exterior manifestation of them, are diminishing
, not getting stronger, like the other team-members, and thus he is starting to worry that he'll be marginalized and useless, as well as unable to protect the others, despite the huge leaps he's made in manipulating his ability to its fullest extent. Being a pessimist, he can ignore positive things and be overly concerned over failures.
He also recognizes the complication of having "two leaders," so while he believes he is more capable, he also thinks it's wrong for him to challenge John (Though since he is already used to this set-up of being the "valedictorian," his force of habit is awfully strong. So he figures that the only person he can be responsible for is Noel, since it complicates things to have two people giving different orders to the same members of a squad, and at the same time, he is insulted that his opinions are not heard or his attention to detail is ignored, and to keep himself in check, he thinks "well, they don't want my opinion anyways; whatever, I'll just take care of myself and Noel." Of course, he cares too much about the others to allow this to happen. So what he thought in my last post wasn't very honest with himself.
The comparison between Miranda and John is not a matter of thought. Miranda said that particular phrase, which pissed Koren off because of his beliefs. He figures if that is the attitude people take, there always has to be someone less moral behind them cleaning up the things they ignore or overlook, and he's willing to do it if necessary, since he thinks it'll happen to him, but he's strict on himself and thus the idea is repulsive to him. In other words, Koren believes that if the others fail, he will be the one who is ultimately successful, but it'll have to be through some underhanded way that he'll regret later.
It isn't that Koren won't take orders, but that he doesn't want to take orders from someone who is not professional or worthy of leadership.
Complicating all of this is the fact that his mind is influenced by what is basically a totally amoral analytical thought-process independant of his mind, which doesn't have any desire other than to win at all costs. Thus he is compelled to find it difficult to tolerate something that it would percieve as detremental to their chances.
It shouldn't take this long to explain though, so I'm sorry about that. On closer examination, I believe that was one of my worse posts. ^_^'
It's hard for me to manage all the different things, since I have to juggle who he is developing into, who he was before he went to the institute, what he has forgotten, and what is influencing him, all at once, and mash it into one, hopefully cohesive, whole.