The Writer's Lounge

Fan-fiction, short stories, screenplays, poems -- anything text-based really belongs here.

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Postby Scripture » Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:48 am

I understand you hate notepad, fair enough ; I despise it as well as aim. How about word ?
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Postby Cole » Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:51 am

Ah, I get it. You want me to hunt you down and gut you.
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Postby Cole » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:55 am

THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING SPACE AFTER COMMAS.
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Postby Makoto_Shinobi » Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:11 pm

Agreed. Space after commas or periods.
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Postby Mortos » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:29 am

And semicolons, colons, etc.
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Re: Proper Writing Styles

Postby aj_gatsz » Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:53 pm

I have a question about ellipsis. In one of my posts I have a part when some can't find the words, and starts to stutter. Later there is conversation on a telephone, and only one person can be heard.

I tried to express the stuttering, and the breaks in the phone conversation as good as I could, but I have the feeling, I couldn't do it properly.

How should I write such situations properly?

Beside this I would be happy about any help improving my English. Pointing out misstakes, etc.
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Postby Cole » Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:52 pm

Usally when it comes to a phone conversation, i write it like this if I only want to show one side of the conversation.

James answered the phone, ignoring the caller identification. "Hello? Oh, hi, mom. I'm good, you? No, no time, really. Maybe next month. Sure, I can try to do that. All right, goodbye."

Stuttering with forgotten/dropped words is best done as "She--she forgot," he froze, unsure of what to say, then began stuttering, "sh-she-she f-for-forgot th-the... um, um...."

Try mixing that up and see how it works for you.

Finding how you want to write something is looking at what you wrote, over and over until you realize how much you fucking suck, then going over it a few more times until it truly flows.
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Postby Cole » Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:09 am

https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/dictionaries/

Not working right now, but when it is, it's verra useful for Firefox users.
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Postby Lord Omberus » Sat Jan 13, 2007 6:57 am

In regards to the stuttering thing, is it permissable to use a Letter/Dash/Word form, so long as it isn't done more than a very few times a conversation? By that I mean p-placing the first letter of a word before a dash, then finishing the word immediately afterward, as above.

Personally, I've never had much use for grammatical niceties, provided that they don't interrupt the flow of a story. As a matter of fact, I sometimes omit proper grammer where it interrupts the flow of a conversation or rings wrong when read.

My writing style is fluid, and I can't be making side trips to look up every inane rule that the english speaking world has made up in the last eight hundred years. Plus I hate spell checkers and word processors. There's no reason for me to hate them, it's like I'm prejudiced against them as though they were some loathsome thing crawled from a pit.
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Postby Urbane » Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:08 am

I find Strunk's The Elements of Style really helpful.

It helps to go back to the basics.

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Re: Proper Writing Styles

Postby Kawaii » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:37 am

I am... a newb.
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Postby ModKidGC » Sun Sep 07, 2008 3:48 pm

wait. what?
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Postby Cole » Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:47 am

LOCKED. FUCKING USELESS REPLIES.
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The Writer's Lounge

Postby Blood Lord » Wed Aug 28, 2013 10:27 pm

Welcome to the Writer's Lounge
, the Talk Thread for the Literature Section.


This thread is for the intent to unify the writers and the readers of the section by giving them, you I should say, a place where you can come together outside of your story threads. Here, you and your fellow authors can share ideas, experiences, or even advise that you managed to steal from that time worn sage you know.

Say I'm having a issue with a certain aspect of my story. I can come in here and post about it asking if anyone knows a good way to introduce comedy into intense situations (like a firefight) without it jarring the story all over the place.

Keep in mind that this is a talk thread, they are meant for the unification and the strengthening of sections. This one though, I would like out of personal favor, to keep its focus on literature and writing, but since it is a talk thread, you are not limited to those subjects. If I come in here and you are talking about the War on Terror, or the results of the World Cup, I'm not going to care.

But remember we have rules. Please follow them.

EDIT: And yes, I do intend for this to be a potential reboot for the "Proper Writing Styles" thread by Cole, but also being more open. Hence the ask/tell I was playing with in the beginning.
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Tenshi Nova » Wed Aug 28, 2013 10:56 pm

Love <3
Oh the love.
I'll start off with what I saw in the RP Sect

Asmodai wrote:Also, this was a really interesting read and I'd advice everyone to give this a try:

“Writing Advice: by Chuck Palahniuk In six seconds, you’ll hate me.
But in six months, you’ll be a better writer.
From this point forward—at least for the next half year—you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use.

The list should also include: Loves and Hates.
And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those later.

Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…”

Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The
mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.”

Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.

Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’s roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.”

In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.

Typically, writers use these “thought” verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In this form, you can call them “Thesis Statements” and I’ll rail against those, later). In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And what follows, illustrates them.

For example:
“Brenda knew she’d never make the deadline. was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, she’d promised to water the plants for her neighbor…”

Do you see how the opening “thesis statement” steals the thunder of what follows? Don’t do it.

If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.

Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.

Don’t tell your reader: “Lisa hated Tom.”

Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail.

Present each piece of evidence. For example: “During roll call, in the breath after the teacher said Tom’s name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout ‘Butt Wipe,’ just as Tom was saying, ‘Here’.”

One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing, you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.

For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take…”

A better break-down might be: “The schedule said the bus would come by at noon, but Mark’s watch said it was already 11:57. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and he’d pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accident…”

A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you can’t use “thought” verbs or any of their abstract relatives.

Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember.

No more transitions such as: “Wanda remembered how Nelson used to brush her hair.”

Instead: “Back in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.”

Again, Un-pack. Don’t take short-cuts.

Better yet, get your character with another character, fast.
Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and words show their thoughts. You—stay out of their heads.

And while you’re avoiding “thought” verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs “is” and “have.”

For example:
“Ann’s eyes are blue.”

“Ann has blue eyes.”

Versus:

“Ann coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiled…”

Instead of bland “is” and “has” statements, try burying your details of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it.

And forever after, once you’ve learned to Un-pack your characters, you’ll hate the lazy writer who settles for: “Jim sat beside the telephone, wondering why Amanda didn’t call.”

Please. For now, hate me all you want, but don’t use thought verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but I’d bet money you won’t.

(…)

For this month’s homework, pick through your writing and circle every “thought” verb. Then, find some way to eliminate it. Kill it by Un-packing it.

Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing. Be ruthless.

“Marty imagined fish, jumping in the moonlight…”

“Nancy recalled the way the wine tasted…”

“Larry knew he was a dead man…”

Find them. After that, find a way to re-write them. Make them stronger.”


TL;DR? Then it wasnt meant for you in the first place.
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Tuor » Wed Aug 28, 2013 11:10 pm

Hmm, interesting, this whole thing.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Havoc » Wed Aug 28, 2013 11:57 pm

Blood Lord wrote:Say I'm having a issue with a certain aspect of my story. I can come in here and post about it asking if anyone knows a good way to introduce comedy into intense situations (like a firefight) without it jarring the story all over the place.

I see. I'm not 100% on how your story works, but I think I have an idea. How about some witty and/or sarcastic dialog during said firefight? Like if your hero has someone with them they could say...idk, something like:

Person 1: "I think we've severely pissed these guys off!"

Person 2: "No shit! What gave that away? The part where they pointed their weapons at us, or the part where they started shooting us!"

Or a part where the hero fucks up what was suppose to be a clever quip like; the hero is about to throw a grenade or I.E.D at the enemies, right before he throws it, he says: "Shit! I had something clever for this. Um..Eat explosion....jerks.."

It may not be perfect, but it kinda gives you an idea, right?
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Tenshi Nova » Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:08 am

I think he was using it more as an example, not actually asking for help.

Continuing the discussion though, my personal opinion, is that nothing is better than tasteful banter. Examples go from Spiderman to Joker, no matter how serious, if you have good banter, you can get away with humor.
I still have yet to play the game, but from a demo of Arkham Asylum and from what I've heard, Joker does really well in it.
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Blood Lord » Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:13 am

bwhaha. I actually like that Havoc. While it was just an example, I am going to have to use it now.

I do find it a bit of a issue though in my works, as well as comedy in general.
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Havoc » Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:22 am

Thank you. I kinda got the concept from a cartoon called Archer. In the show, they're always in dangerous situations, yet they still always say really funny shit to each other.

By the way Blood, why did you combined this thread with an old one?
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Tenshi Nova » Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:39 am

The information from the old one can be useful. Plus there was no point to have a locked thread with barely any pages.

The sarcasm and random comments seems like a characteristic. Characters can pull it off, if they have a history of doing it. Just an opinion.

Also, banter :p
Doesn't matter if a character has never done it before, if it's well played out, it's just awesome.
It's one of the few things I get annoyingly attracted to(so sorry for constantly bringing it up). Anything with good banter draws me in. If I had known Game of Thrones was so fucking funny, I would've watched it earlier. The BURN moments have some strange fun/serious vibe, and banter is an easy way to include these moments. Given any situation, no matter how serious, it's possible to include banter. If not tasteful then it's just a failure, but if it is, then it makes the entire scene better. I fucking love it :p
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Tuor » Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:01 am

Fucking Tyrion, man
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Havoc » Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:19 am

Tenshi Nova wrote:Continuing the discussion though, my personal opinion, is that nothing is better than tasteful banter. Examples go from Spiderman to Joker, no matter how serious, if you have good banter, you can get away with humor.
I still have yet to play the game, but from a demo of Arkham Asylum and from what I've heard, Joker does really well in it.

I too love banter. But it's kinda one of those thing that it's either really good, or just plane terrible, there's no really in between. If done right, it can make you fall in love with a character very quickly.
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Birdofterror » Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:35 am

Good banter, huh? Our good friend Mercen-X is working on a RBWY fanfic in this section and he has no shortage of good banter. I actually laughed a good bit, I usually just smile and chuckle for funny moments that I find good, but he actually had me laughing.

Yet he still managed to delve into advanced violence and serious moments while maintaining that kind of mindset. I think he might have watched as much Archer as you, Havoc. LOL

To another topic, BL's story. I hear you're having some trouble with comedy, but I wonder if you truly need it? Tragedy and Comedy are both different sides of the same coin, that's true, but if you're going for a serious story I don't think you should try to force comedy. You may surprise yourself with events that transpire and the natural comedy that comes forth. The best kind of humor is the kind that writes itself. 8)
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Tenshi Nova » Thu Aug 29, 2013 9:12 am

I'm a fan of dark humor. It won't make me laugh, depending I may smile, but I find that people who can make a good joke in morbid situations reveal their true character.

I read Merc's RWBY fanfic, the only reason I'm indifferent about it is because it's so far just a copy of the trailer. Just my opinion.

Tuor wrote:Fucking Tyrion, man

The paper tearing one. I lost it.
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