So this is an experiment to see how far I will "evolve" after seeing my acquaintance, the shrink. After the whole negative/ hate rant, filled with references to possible sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies, I looked at the whole thing and decided to take my friend up on her offer. I've know her about a year, we had sex twice, and we're fairly close. She's a bit worried for me because I am the same way in real life as I am online, albeit more distant. She offered to be my shrink for free, something interesting in itself, seeing as I've never actually had one.
The experience was weird. I felt strange talking about myself, and we ended up discussing the recent events in my life. I told her about my nephew's birth and a few other things, and she was... Nice about it. I've never felt like this before. I'm used to people looking at me like I'm an evil creature, but she was nice for no reason. I don't understand, since I wasn't giving her anything or paying her for this.
Anyway, I know the potential shit I'll get for this, but seeing as it's the spam forum, I thought, why not? Get out all the insults that you want and fill the page. I'll make an update every Wednesday. I want to see if I can change from such a hateful person to someone more tolerable.
February - I am not a sociopath. I made the first steps toward stopping my whole alcohol dependency, was stupid enough to neglect danger of DTs. SN moves in, I start to feel for her. Took her out to a movie, had an anxiety attack from people.
March - Have a breakdown, made an alt to ridicule myself. Was reprimanded by BR. Had seizure from DTs, finally got on medication to help with withdrawal. Started to tutor kids. Began repairig relationship with my dad.
April - Almost completely cut off from alcohol. Found out one of the kids I tutor has a crush on me. Awkward situation. Start going out, went to the grocery store in the day time fo the first time. Attacked father, ordered to see psychologist.
May - Found little girl, turns out she ran away. Beat myself up about doing nothing, Lily yells at me for doing nothing. Call child services, file a complaint. Called back in a couple of weeks, said she was in a new home. I lose a lot of my fear with other people.
June - Got a job as night cashier. Tried to cros U.S. On road trip, messed up. Tried again, made good progress.
July - Visited Canada. Having relationship issues, I don't think I know what love really is. Testing new ways to see if I do feel love for SN.
Last edited by Yog
on Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Yog, you are one cool motherfucka.
One day this child shall learn the beauty of life.
Thanks for being there for me, man.