DC Fic: (finished)/Untold Tale (new)

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Postby Darkness_calls » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:10 pm

Balanus = Date
Basium = kiss

Thanks for the good comments guys ^_^


those kids remind me of the ever after comic


I had this idea long time ago, but my idea got reshaped a little after I saw the comic ;)


You are quickly on recover to start a new story!


I had idea for this story even bofore Balrog showed up in my previous comic lol
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Postby BG07 » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:13 pm

Well not to sound ignorant or anything... Is there any possible way for a Blitz cameo? ^_^
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Postby Darkness_calls » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:17 pm

BG07 wrote:Well not to sound ignorant or anything... Is there any possible way for a Blitz cameo? ^_^


Hell yeah, I'm going to include a lot of fan characters ;)
Though every character will only be short ... 1-3 WHOLE chapters on each ... there is a reason for it ;)
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Postby BG07 » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:19 pm

It's cool, I love it when people use my characters no matter how short it'll be :snoogins:
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Postby Darkness_calls » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:21 pm

BG07 wrote:It's cool, I love it when people use my characters no matter how short it'll be :snoogins:



I got that feeling for the first time when you added her ^_^
It is a great feeling ;)
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Postby CarrionMan » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:24 pm

Give it a name and maybe I'll read it.
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Postby Darkness_calls » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:26 pm

I can't think of one. And I would like any help with it if you guys can ^_^
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Postby BG07 » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:27 pm

Is this going to be mostly those two kids telling a story?
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Postby Darkness_calls » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:30 pm

BG07 wrote:Is this going to be mostly those two kids telling a story?


yes. It will be written like I normally do, but in between I add maybe:

blablablablabla he died.

Lilly: so he ...died
Basium: I wish.
Balanus: please let me finish!

but out of nowhere blablablabla


so yes... it will mostly be a story telling :P
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Postby CarrionMan » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:30 pm

I'm still not interested…
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Postby BG07 » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:33 pm

Well then maybe your title should be something like "Tales of blank " I wouldn't know what to put there because I don't know how the story will be :P
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Postby Cadaverous » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:34 pm

CarrionMan wrote:I'm still not interested…


....then why are you posting?
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Postby CarrionMan » Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:35 pm

Just to bump it.
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Re: DC Fic: (finished)/Untold Tale (new)

Postby Darkness_calls » Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:50 pm

Thanks guys ^_^
And you CM for the bumping lol

Next update:



Chapter 2
“Step by step”

The sun was high up in the cloudless sky, warm breeze moved along,
birds were singing and children were playing. This was the perfect day in
a perfect town. Everybody was enjoying the fabulous day, even the bad
guys.


“But of course we didn’t see any of this”



Deep down in the earth, was a secret base. This base belong to a rich
man, he went through a lot of trouble just to keep his identity hidden. In
this base was also lot of scientists, they ran around doing this and that.
But what was really in their mind, was the project. Finally it was
completed, now all it needed was a test run. The rich man walked towards
one of his main scientists.

“I hope it will work this time…”

“I certainly hope so”

“If this fails then we will scrap project BB, you will be replaced and we wil
l begin with project RR” said the rich man, with a serious tone.

The main scientist gulped, he didn’t want to lose his job. This time he
would keep going even though he had to risk the child. This particular
project was meant to be able to take on super heroes and/or villains. Its
only purpose was to defeat every unnatural being and claim the place of
being the strongest. When that would finally be accomplished, then the
project would be sold to the government. Both of the men stood before a
giant glass tube, inside was a male child. The color of the child’s skin and
hair seemed to be bright yellow, thanks to the glowing chemical filling the
tube. The rich man fixed the tie on his brown suit.

“Commence” he ordered.

“Yes sir” The scientist answered, He tabbed something on the keyboard.
There was humming sound when suddenly thousands volts of electricity
ventured into the child’s body, the yellow chemical reacted to the
electricity by spinning around, inside the tube. The scientist smiled, step
one was success. The child’s body began to shake involuntarily, his head
swinging in all directions, as if he was in great pain. The scientist lifted his
hand, ready to press an obvious big red button. The air mask, which
covered half of the child’s face, was beginning to melt away.

“NOW!” the scientist yelled, as he pressed the red button. The electricity
stopped and the yellow chemical changed color, now it was clearly blue.
Finally the chemical stopped spinning and the child began to move his
hand and legs, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“Step two completed and now for step three” the scientist again said, he
turned a handle and pressed few buttons. Slowly, the chemical was
drained out of the tube, leaving the child on the cold bottom of the tube.
The child was breathing heavily; he stood up, but fell down again, because
the muscles in his legs weren’t completely functional yet. With his hands,
the child touched the glass tube around him. After awhile he ripped,
literally, the air mask off himself.

“Total success again, now the last step” he smiled and pressed the
“activate” button on the computer’s touch screen. The boy yelled in pain,
his voice sounded like two persons screaming at once. A small chip, which
had been implanted into his head, suddenly made a spark of electricity
move around the child’s brain. This made the brain function perfectly. But
still the boy didn’t open his eyes, lots of tubes were removed out of his
body by few robotic arms, inside of the tube and the glass opened up. The
child could hear footsteps; two persons were walking towards him.

“Are you feeling alright child?” The scientist asked.
“Yes”

“Can you open your eyes?”
“Yes”

“Then open them”
“No”

“Why not?”
“My mind yells danger; I do not feel like opening both my eyes”

“Can you open one of them?”
Slowly the boy opened his left eye. Both the scientist and the rich man
stepped backwards in utter surprise. The child’s eye color … was copper.


“So that must mean it was you Balanus”


“Yes it was me”

“But … why didn’t you want to open you other eye?”

“You’ll see later, now shut up and let him finish”



The rich man smiled, it worked. Now the only thing left was to perfect it.
He pointed two of his soldiers to come. When they came the rich man
whispered:
“Take him to cell 34; tomorrow I will begin his training”

One of the two soldiers took the boy onto his back and they three walked away.
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Postby dark psyghost » Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:06 pm

Great update DC
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Postby BG07 » Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:11 pm

I'm guessing that the rich man was brisbaine... I'm really liking the story so far, (Glad to see you used my idea for a title :snoogins: )
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Re: DC Fic: (finished)/Untold Tale (new)

Postby Leon FlameBurst » Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:58 pm

Cool chapter, DC!
Nice from the start!
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Postby Cadaverous » Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:54 pm

Darkness_calls wrote:
BG07 wrote:Well not to sound ignorant or anything... Is there any possible way for a Blitz cameo? ^_^


Hell yeah, I'm going to include a lot of fan characters ;)
Though every character will only be short ... 1-3 WHOLE chapters on each ... there is a reason for it ;)


....*ahem* uh....you know blitz isn't the only fan character...*cough cadaverous *cough* ^_^

oh and nice update, I really wanna see there powers
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Re: DC Fic: (finished)/Untold Tale (new)

Postby Darkness_calls » Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:36 pm

Cadaverous I many didn't I ;)
Thank you all for the comments ^_^
Meh damn Word ... broke down ... I uninstalled it so I could re-install but ... I had already loaned the damn CD ! roar! so... this update was written without any spell and grammar checks :(

Next update:



The days passed, many tests were taken and he had trained alot. The
child had chosen the name Balanus, he had no idea what it meant. For
some reasons he just loved the word so much. The rich man, Balanus still
haven't gotten his name, had given him navy blue uniform with a bright
white "BB" sign on its chest area, right in the middle. Balanus never
wanted to open his right eye for some reasons, so he made himself an
thick, grey eye patch, made out of wool. He once heard a scientist call the
rich man B... something. Given that he only has the first letter, so
Balanus just called the rich man Mr.B, that name sounded friendly though
Mr.B was quite emotionless all the time. Mr.B had been getting rather
annoyd. Balanus had no Idea why, until one night...


Balanus, should have been sleeping, but he couldn't. Every night he heard
a voice, he couldn't make out what the voice was saying, because it
sounded so blurry. But this time he had decided to walk around, hoping
the voice would silence and he could go to sleep. After walking for quite a
while Balanus saw a light, illuminating a small portion of the hallway with
its bright light. He noticed that the light was comming from Mr.B's office,
with a halv open door. Balanus was going to turn back to his own room.



"But he was far too childish to do so"
"Ehem, I was mearly curious. Besides you should be thankful for that!"
"Children, please, let us keep on with the story"
"Did you just ..."
"... call us children?"
"Drop it and continue, I don't have much time left"
"Alright ... now where was I, oh yes..."



But Balanus was far too curious, slowly he snuck beside the opening an
listened.

"I can't stand this!" yelled a familiar voice, it sounded just like Mr.B but
Balanus wasn't sure, because he had never heard Mr.B yell before.

"Just give it some time, I'm sure..." said this facility's main scientist.

"NO! I have given too much time. Five days has passed and the boy..."

"Balanus" said an unfamiliar voice, Balanus has never heard it before.

"Don't dare to interupt me again ... ever" Now it sounded lot more like
Mr.B, emotionless.

"What is his status know?" Spoke the unfamiliar voice again.

"Just like an ordinary boy at his age" sighed the scientist.

"If he doesn't progress soon, then I will be forced to dispose of him and
begin project RR" said Mr.B, this time his voice sounded ... so cold.

Balanus was a little scared, what did they want with him? why would Mr.B
want to dispose of him? Balanus gulped and decided to run away, quietly.
He stood up and took the first step and out of pure unluck the floor
creacked. Everyone in the room stopped talking. Balanus tension reached
its limit and he ran in a completely random direction, he just wanted to
get as far away from them as possible.

"It seems that your boy overheard our conversation" said the unknown voice.

"Take care of this mess, Utonium" whispered Mr.B, he rubbed his
forehead. It seems that he would have to stop his current project after all.

"Yes, I'll do that" chuckled the unknown voice.

If more was spoken then Balanus didn't hear it. He just ran and ran. He
had been unlucky enough to choose the hallway, which had only one door.
Where could he hide know? then he saw the only door in this hallway. It
was a large and thick metal door. It had no door knobs, but a small
display touch screen on the side of it. The screen had pictures of
numbers, from zero to nine. Balanus reached the door and out of fright he
tried to puch it open, like it would magically open up. He pounded on the
door until something strange happened, a small electrical surge ventured
through his hand and he could feel it molt onto his hand. A horrific
screech sound echoed in the hallway as this unknown energy ripped the
large metal door asunder.



"So that is where you discovered your powers"
"Yes and..."
"He never was able to control it though. So he aint special"
"Stop being jealous, especially since you are stronger than me!"
"Ok, don't fight, just continue"



Balanus was more freaked out than ever, he walked inside the room with
slow and short steps. What the hell is this?
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Postby BG07 » Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:42 pm

Hmm... he seemes to have quite the interesting power, you are really good at getting people into your story, I can't wait until your next update comes along.
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Re: DC Fic: (finished)/Untold Tale (new)

Postby Cadaverous » Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:54 pm

yay, professor!
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Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Fri Jun 30, 2006 10:47 pm

GAH! The grammer errors!

And I take it that Mr. B is Brisbane and Utonium is not the Powerpuffs' father, but Cranston?!

A few of this seems a bit similar to my fic, and Shad in general. Either that or I'm seeing things.
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
Hidden Angels Original, ongoing fiction. (also hiated. Stupid college!)
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Postby Emerald Emblem » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:53 am

It is cool so far
keep going DC
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Lily: few people here are worthy of my rape
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Postby dark psyghost » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:26 pm

Great update DC
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Postby Darkness_calls » Sun Jul 02, 2006 7:25 pm

Shadowed State of Mind wrote:GAH! The grammer errors!

And I take it that Mr. B is Brisbane and Utonium is not the Powerpuffs' father, but Cranston?!

A few of this seems a bit similar to my fic, and Shad in general. Either that or I'm seeing things.


You know ... After I began writing this I realized how similar this part is to the Berzerker revolt in your fic (not originally intended) :P

Meh, Balanus has a little twist in store ;)
It is only this chapter that is like this ... after chapter 2, the story will change.

I won't update today sorry. But I have a promised update tomorrow ^_^
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