What? No! What you have provided us with, both times, is a summary of a story-what you plan to write. Story requires a beginning-where you introduce each character, even if your audience already knows them, and have them meet- a middle- where you introduce a conflict- and an ending- where the conflict is resolved. Throughout the story, you also have character interaction, which can lead to characters discovering their own flaws and then they can grow to become better people.
Have a look at some of the other fanfics on these forums. See how they have been written, and take this on. Then plan out the story on paper-write drafts. You have some goos ideas, but jumping in the deep end like this is not the way to do it. I personally have millions of ideas for Fanfics and original stories everyday, but I don't think I've ever put more than one up, because they haven't been taken to the point where they are worth reading. I think you should do some waiting as well.
also, tooken is not a word.
Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer, for fuck's sake."
Vis wrote:Cole got owned by Larry. Sweet.
Liberal Arts Quantum Physics: Light's damned fast and not everything is as it seems. Space is funny like that. The end.