I thought that I'd 'treat you to something truly horrifying, My twisted little fanfic, 'Servo Moon' for which I posted the cover art here many moons ago......
The premise is simple (for me anyway) Just like Marvel Comics 'Acts of Vengeance' mini-series from days of yore, and like DC's current 'Legion of Villains/(Villainy)' The bad guys, (in this case, Queen Beryl and Pearl Forrester) agree to switch adversaries. Now the Sailor Senshi have to watch really, really bad Sci-Fi movies, and Mike Nelson, Crow, Gypsy, Cambot, and Tom Servo have to battle the forces of the Dark Kingdom(Negaverse) Utilizing their wits & the Sailor Senshi's powers (well sort of....)
Prologue : The Persistence of Memory
We begin at the end.... that is to say, the end of what appears to be the satellites' last movie 'experiment'. It was going to be last day in space as well. It seems that Pearl just couldn't resist messing with the collective consciousness of the crew of the S.O.L. 'just one more time' . Fortunately for Mike and the 'bots, she was just about the biggest cheapskate around, even compared to her rather 'frugal' brethren in the M.A.D.D.S.(Molevolent And Despicably Devious Scientists) Association. She had just purchased the 'Stick of Joy', as Observer refereed to it, after rummaging around in the local Electronic Hobbyist Shops' bargain basement bin. 'A real steal', is how she described this particular acquisition earlier that day.
But all it did was 'steal' any 'joy' of being able to torture the crew any longer. Not to mention that it would 'stick' the entire crew of the satellite in the unenviable position of having to engage in what Gypsy refereed to as a 'manually unguided Geo-synchronous planetary insertion'. It would have to be done with a previously untested 'heat containment shielding' that looked suspiciously like cheap tin-foil. As Tom put it "There's gonna be some Shakin' & Bakin' on the ol' Satellite to-nite!" The rest of the crew took exception to this remark, especially Gypsy, who went to waffle Tom with the waffle iron that she'd just finished cleaning. Unfortunately for both her and Crow, as Tom saw her swing and quickly managed to duck out of 'harm's way'. Instead, Gypsy connected with Crow's shiny gold noggin, knocking him out cold. The rest of the crew decided that it was probably for the best, since they might need a 'space anchor' to slow their descent.
Meanwhile, hasty preparations went on to prepare for their re-entry 'burn'. Mike flinched subconsciously in dread at that unfortunate choice of phrase. In fact he saw red. But that was because he had been looking at Tom when he said it. Tom ignored the barbed remark as he took 'control' behind the satellites' 'steering apparatus' now
in place in the center of the bridge. Outside, they could hear the sounds of the satellites' hull already begin to warp and strain against the tremendous gravitational forces being brought to bear as the began their descent...
"Tom, what's our situation?" Asks Mike. "Beginning reentry, Mike!" answers Tom. "Good!" was all that Mike could respond with, unsure what dangers may yet lay ahead. Then, out of nowhere, a loud explosion rocked the satellite to its' very foundation. Its force was such that both man and machines, along with equipment and some snacks were strewn about the floor of the bridge. "Total heat shield failure, Mike!" cried the stout red pilot. Mike, still in shock replied. "Bad!, Whoa-What's going on?" Tom checked the readout. "Deck 3 broken away!" Then an explosion, larger than the last, shook the tiny ship. "Deck 4 broken away!" reported Tom.
The series of explosions at this point was matched only by those of the implosions. Mike became concerned "Oh my gosh!, Cambot, get me rocket #9". "Whoa, Nelly!" shouted Tom, as yet another
detonation occurred. Then there was another, and another! and all the while cam bot struggled valiantly to respond to Mike's earlier request. "Deck 5 broken away! Deck 6, broken away! Deck 7, ....melting, and broken away!" Tom continued to drone on in what seemed to be an unending litany of destruction. By this time, Mike became very, very concerned "Gypsy, what do we do? He queried. Trying to maintain a sense of decorum, she looked Mike in the eye, the right one to be exact, since she was short one eye.
"We burn up horribly, it's too dreadful to contemplate! Oh my God in heaven, please have mercy on our souls!" Then Mike, clinging to one last hope, much as a drowning man clings to a flotation device, announces, "I'll call Pearl!" Hoping against impossible odds that his one time captor will hear his pleas, and decide to help anyway, against her better 'judgment'. Then, without warning the control panel begins to light up like a Christmas tree on diet pills. Along with a foul and malevolent stench that somewhat resembled Newark in summer. It began to accompany a noxious vapor which began to seep quickly onto the bridge. "Whoa! toxic gas, filling our lungs and our nasal passages!"
The irony of that last statement was lost on Tom, since it was Mike, as the only human on board was the only one who actually had lungs and nasal passages. Somewhere in Mikes' dim subconscious mind pondered this as he managed one last stomach-churning cry for help.
Meanwhile, down at castle forrester, There lone figures stand in an all but abandoned edifice, the tattered remains of a cursed inherit ace. They try again and again, frantic for some small measure of success. Struggling with forces beyond either their control or comprehension. Indeed, fighting against their very collective natures to salvage something from the wreckage to come, rehearsing their roles in this madness...
...For some sort of musical, it seems. Pearl cries out for them to try once again. "Now Sing!, Dammit!, Sing!" Now this threesome try desperately to correct the mistakes of the past, look to wards a brighter future, and more importantly, to not sing off key. "It's a long way to Tipperary....."
It was then that Pearl hears the faint sound of a floundering hope, one that desperately needed to be crushed. "Hold on...." as she motions to her compatriots to stop singing, she walks across the chamber to come face to face with the very visage that has haunted her for years. "Look Nelson, Move on, ...I am!" and pulls apart the last of the relays to the comm link,
......and the screen goes black, perhaps for the last time.
In the meantime, back aboard the S.O.L., things start to go from bad to extremely poopie. "Whoa!! deck 9 crashing through decks 10 & 11!!" reports Tom as yet another series of explosions threaten to tear the ship asunder. "This is it!!! We're going down!!!" cried Gypsy, as Tom continued to monitor the situation. "Brace for impact!"
Mike finally decided to let caution to the wind, and began to fret. "We're all going to die!" the dopey white guy cried. Crow, who had apparently regained consciousness, "Mike!, have you seen my other sweater?!"
He obviously was still a little delirious. Even so, it was soon obvious even to him and the others that they weren't going to make it. They all scream in unison,
Everything becomes a blur amidst a cloud of deadly fumes and loud explosions....
Chapter 1:Lap of Luxury, or Lack of Luck???
Tom and Crow are sitting on a beat-up sofa in a low-rent apartment, in a run-down building, in the seedier part of Milwaukee. "Boy oh boy, this ConGypsco stock is up, I mean Way up!" Mike heard this as he was in the kitchenette. "Well Gypsy did want to let us in on her public offering, but we said no" he replied. Crow, for some reason felt the need to clarify on this, "Well if you remember, I made a fart noise, she only took it for a no." Tom rolled his eyes, that is, if he had any, he would've. "Yeah" was all he would say however.
Mike, always a glutton for punishment, opined further "Well, still, it all worked out, I mean, we were all fortunate to walk away from that crash..." "I'll say!" agreed Tom. Crow managed to interject with a "Oh Yeah!" and Tom with a "Whoo-Hoo!!" Mike continued on "....and I guess if we were all multi-billionaires, you guys would've never moved in with me." Crow simply replied "True!" Mike really could've quit while he was ahead. Tom tried to put thing in a more positive light "Yeah, that's right, sweet garden level living, one bedroom, one-half bath, and on the bus line, YEAH!!"
Crow, it seems, couldn't agree more, "Sssweeeet!" Mike, in a desperate attempt to save face cried, "Hey, who's for rice?" proffering the bowl he 'd just brought in from the kitchenette. Crow whom actually had eyes, did roll them, apparently fed up with his roommate's obsession with that particular foodstuff, growled angrily, "Would you sit down! The movie's about to start!" Tom sighed "Come over here, dummy!" the last thing he wanted to hear another argument between these two. Mike now with foot firmly in mouth, somehow managed to navigate his way, and sit down on the couch between his friends. Tom seems eager for tonight's 'entertainment to begin, "Oh boy!" he exclaims.
Mike grabs the remote and turns up the volume. The TV screen brightens a bit as we hear the voice of an announcer. "WTMJ TV in Milwaukee Presents our Saturday Morning Movie, The Crawling Eye!" Music begins to play, as the movie begins. Tom ever ready with a crack of wise interjected, "The Crawling Eye, the Marty Feldman Story!" he and his roommates laughed in spite of themselves. Mike, feeling a Little more confident despite his recent 'tonger lashing' gestured toward the boob tube, "Oh!, Forrest Tucker, he's the guy who makes sure the trees shirt-tails are tucked in". Tom shuddered inwardly at the joke, and shakes his head "Ooohhhh!" he winced. The sounds of music continued to play as the beginning credits continued
to roll. They continue to riff on the movie, when Crow begins to feel a bit uneasy."Doesn't this movie seem
kinda familiar, familiar, miliar, iliar, liar, ar, ar, r, r, r...............
Ar, Ar, Are.......Are you up yet Mike?" inquired gypsy. Mike nodded in the affirmative,
rubbing the sleep from his eyes." Mmmmhhhmmm, yeah Gyps, I'll be out in a jiff." he commented as he stumbled his way to the shower, thinking to himself that he was 'that close'. "Okay but you'd better hurry, I 've made waffles this morning, and Tom and Crow said they were going to play 'Gunslinger' with the squeeze Parkay and Mrs. Butterworth's!!" replied Gypsy. It was at that time Mike decided that a shower was less important than having to stomach dry waffles. He hurried on to the breakfast nook, where thankfully, Tom and Crow were still having breakfast and had yet to create the aforementioned chaos.
Unfortunately, just as he was about to sit down to eat, the ship's' comm system began its' familiar klaxon call, indicating that their captor, Dr. Pearl Forrester required their presence on the bridge. As they made their way there, Crow looked to Mike like someone who had something on his mind.; and he was right! "Hey Mike, what's going on?"he queried of the lanky young human type. "Well Crow, it seems you know as much as I do..." This drew a derisive snort from their stout reddish companion. "I kinda doubt that Mike, after all, its' not like you tr ired digging a hole through the hull of the ship, so you could 'tunnel' your way to earth!" "Yeah, well, at least I'm not going around and collecting underpants, even though I don't have any legs!!! Crow retorted. Tom was red in the face, but then Mike remembered that Tom was built that way to begin with.
"Hey guys, DO YOU MIND!!!" Replied Mike sharply, "Remember why we're here, Dr. Pearl 'obey me or die' Forrester? The one who's waiting to see us on the bridge, like, now!???" Both bots looked at the floor, their faces crimson with shame, (except, of course with Tom, it was hard to tell, cause, he's always, well, you get the idea!) Both of them turned to Mike, and in unison, gave Mike a forlorn "I'm sorry." which seamed to placate the big lug. Mike continued "Anyway, I have no earthly idea why, but it seems Pearl needed to come and call." At this point the three of them finally reached the bridge. Gypsy had been pacing nervously back & forth until she saw them, and had apparently overheard the last exchange. "It seems awfully early for that, Mike." she said as she wore a puzzled look.
Tom looked her square in the eyes, er, well that is to say 'squarely in her eye', and said "Yeah Gyps, but you know how it is, neither rain, nor snow, nor lack of sleep will Pearl deny herself the pleasure of mercilessly torturing her poor, rem deprived victims, and get her
jollies at our expense...."Tom seemed to ramble on 'til he was red in the face. (heh, sorry! couldn't resist!)
When out of nowhere, booming voice interrupted, "...and don't you forget it bucket brain!!!"
Chapter 2: Ominous Omission
...The voice belonged to Dr. Pearl Forrester, demented mad scientist, captor of Mike and the bots. Mike looked up and smiled his biggest, most toothy smile. "Pearl, Hi! we were just talking about you..." Pearl was in no mood to be trifled with "....Yeah, so I heard! By the way ,thanks loads for that positively glowing intro TOM-TOM. Anyhoo,I just thought it fair to warn you that, effective immediately, there are going to be some changes, BIG changes made around here." Mike decided since she had control of their life-support, that it was best to just 'play along' for now. "Well just what kind of changes might you be thinking of, Pearl, I mean I for one appreciate the warning and all, but what exactly are you...."
Pearl interrupts, yet again. "Easy Smellson! , you'll find out soon enough. Let's just say that my dearly departed son, bless his black heart, was a hopeless idiot, at least as far as choosing test
subjects goes, if you guys are any indication. He really could've picked subjects who know the meaning of ,pain ,loss, despair, defeat, disenfranchisement...."
Tom never cloud resist the chance to interrupt with a wise crack...
"...So you're going to have us open one of those 'themed' fast-food resturants..." Crow decided to chime in as well.
"...With an all you can eat buffet..." Gypsy, who got caught up in the spirit of things added, "....Where kids under 12 eat free..."
For some reason, probably because he was not very bright, one of Pearl,s henchmen, 'Prof' Bobo heard the words 'fast-food restaurant' and got very interested, not realizing that it was just the bots once again mocking his mistress.
"Excuse me, Lawgiver, it's been a while since my last feeding. Do you think you could get me one of those 'Happy Kid Wendy Mcwhopper Club Value Meals' w/ the toy surprise in......" he probably would've said more if it weren't for the fact that Pearl in a fit of rage, Kneed him in the groin HARD!!! Needless to say, the poor ape slumped to the ground in a heap."...ENOUGH!!!" she interjected. "The long and short of What I'm trying to tell you 'collective heads of knuckle', is that you're all waaaaaaay too thick upstairs to grasp the majesty of my son's.... er my grand design. Not bright enough to have both your free will and your spirits crushed by watching really, really, really, really bad cinema..."
Mike looked on, with an extremely downcast look on his face. " Well, gosh Pearl, sorry, I mean if there was any way I could......HEY!!!!!" Pearl continued, "Deal with it Nelson Eddie, I call 'em as I see 'em. Anyway, I've been in, shall we say, negotiations, with an interested party, via the 'ol Inter-Dimensional-Comm-Satt-Uplinlk, one of the few bit of technology we managed to gather from Pale Face's home planet ... BEFORE YOU BLEW IT UP!!!!" Seeing Pearl's other cohort, the previously mentioned Brain-Guy turned beet red at the meer mention of that little 'misadventure'. Mike at that instant realized two things...
(1) Don't ever get on the bad side of a omnipotent, omniscient, telepath and...
(2), that it was the first time in a while that observer had ever shown that much color in quite a spell.
Still, he tried to defend himself. "....Now Pearl, in all fairness, it was the Nanites that misunderstood what I wanted when I told them to 'do something' to get rid of the tractor
beam..." Pearl continued, as if not even hearing him"....It seems this party, who, for the time being, shall remain anonymous, has a problem with a group of alleged 'super-powered' teenagers getting in the way of their plans for 'Universal Conquest', or was it the 'Extinction of All Life As We Know It',I always seem to get those mixed up. Maybe if ..."
Tom, felling just a little bit annoyed burst out with, "....So this is the 'short' version?" Pearl looked more than a little exasperated. "IF YOU DON'T MIND!!!!; At any rate, the plan is to exchange you bozos with this group of teens, thus allowing both parties to achieve their goals.... Bobo!" Still smarting from his last ordeal, Knew it would be in his best interest to answer quickly. "Yes, Lawgiver!" Pearl chuckled to herself, at the hold she had over him. "Make yourself useful," she bellowed, "Contact 'her majesty', tell her we'll be ready to effect transfer of our 'guests' shortly." Bobo turns and bows, "As you wish, Lawgiver; your will be done. yours is as the Sun, Stars, & Moo...OOF!"
Bobo's long-winded response has earned him yet another lump, this time, to the side of the head. He staggers to wards the door, bowing incessantly. ".....Yeah, yeah, just get going hairball, and don't screw it up!!!" Gasping, "Yes, Lawgiver!" as he left. Pearl turns her attention back to Mike. "Well, that's that, all that's left is to say good-bye. I'd say that I wish you well, but lying to you isn't half as satisfying as seeing the dopey look on your face right now. Although, I've got to admit it's kinda hard to tell the difference from your usual dopey look.... Do it Brainiac!!" she nods to her pasty faced henchman, who nods in reply. "As you wish, Madam!"
Holding up the tray which houses his brain, he closes his eyes, as if concentrating... Meanwhile, Mike is just about at the 'end of his rope'. "Look, Pearl, just how long is this going to t....." His words cut short by the fact that he and the bots simply not there. Pearl smiles with smug satisfaction. "Well, that was quick. Brain guy, you take Bobo up to the Satellite and prep it for new 'guests'. Her 'majesty' assures me that they'll be arriving soon." Observer bows, but makes sure that he's out of arms'(or legs') reach, so as not to suffer the same fate as the hapless Bobo. "Of course, as you command, mighty one!" Pearl, waving him off with a dismissing hand....
"Yeah, yeah, whatever!!"
chapter 3: Deja' View
[cut to Mike and the bots as they are hurled through an unimaginable kaleidescope of colors ,sights, sounds, just before passing out, and then blackness...]
Mike wakes up first, finding himself alone in a forest clearing of some sort, with a small lake nearby. After searching frantically for about twenty minutes or so, he eventually finds Gypsy in the branches of a tree. Near the tree, he also encounters Crow, whose head is stuck in a gopher hole. Tom was nowhere in sight. Gypsy mentions that she saw him a couple of hours ago, not far from where they were now. Apparently he had been moving about erratically for some time muttering to himself about needing to 'complete his mission', whatever that meant. Soon afterwords, he frightened a couple of boys, whom her sensors estimated to be about 10-12 years of age approximately, with a margin of error of plus or minus 2. One of the youths then used a stungun on Tom, and the charge from it was enough, it seems to cause his already overtaxed system to shut down. Then the curious youths, thinking that he was some sort of elaborate toy, carried him out of sight. She hadn't seen him since. She might be able to reactivate his remote tracking device. Unfortunately, her batteries were dangerously low, and would need some time to recharge enough to attempt such a maneuver.
Mike threw up his arms in disgust as he rolled his eyes heavenward. "Great!, that's just great!, since thee doesn't seem to be a nearby outlet that we can use!. Did you at least see which way they went?" Gypsy, sensing Mike's frustration, was grateful to deliver some good news. "Oh yeah Mike, you bet, they went North by Northwest; over that way." From her precarious perch she inclined her head in the direction of a playground of some sort. "We seem to be in a public park of some kind." Mike was glad that they hadn't been placed too far out in 'the sticks'. "Good work Gypsy, for the time being, you and Crow stay here and out of sight, the last thing we need is for either of you two to get 'carried away'."
Crow, with his head still stuck in the hole, gave a muffled snort of amusement "Good one, Mike!" Gypsy wasn't at all amused "Crow, please!!" Mike, not wanting a repeat of the 'Waffle Iron' incident, sought to intervene. That's okay Gypsy, he's just trying to make the best out of a bad situation. Well, I gotta go find those kids, I hope they haven't figured out what they've got on their hands." Crow sound a lot more upbeat than usual, though with his head in the ground, it was hard to tell for sure. "That's great, Mike, really great; But while you're here, could you, well, you know....." Mike, realizing that Crow was referring to felt a little embarrassed. "Oh yeah, sorry!" as he manages to yank Crow's head out of its' confinement. Crow's head, as well as the rest of him was...
"Free at last, free at last, thank ...great gosh a' mighty, I'm ....born freeee! As free as......astounding offer not available in ....grafting more of your own hair ....Long beautiful hair..." It seemed that crow's circuits were more severely affected than they originally thought.....
Last edited by Thom_Serveaux
on Mon Dec 05, 2005 2:28 am, edited 1 time in total.