SSoM's fic thread. Hidden Angels. Chapter 11 is UP! (70%)

Fan-fiction, short stories, screenplays, poems -- anything text-based really belongs here.

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Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:35 am

Chapter 1 completed! Tis not much, but I'm sure you all have quite the amount of questions.
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
Hidden Angels Original, ongoing fiction. (also hiated. Stupid college!)
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Postby GridsNaranek » Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:59 am

Looks very good so far, Shad. Definitely one to keep an eye on.
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (first chapter of untitled fic is UP)

Postby robro » Mon Sep 25, 2006 11:07 am

fantastic, great, magnificant all are nothing but meaning less words compaired to this.....this is to good for words
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (first chapter of untitled fic is UP)

Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Tue Sep 26, 2006 11:36 pm

Chapter 2


*the sky turned from blue to orange with the sun's descent. A few streetlights turned themselves on, illuminating areas that have prematurely went dim with a white light. The houses don an amber-like color due to the minutes-long sunset. The cars make their way back to the suburban areas via the bridge that connects said area with the business districts, where the adults perform their daily tasks. Upon the vehicles' entry, the public speaker crackled as the rasping voice declared that due to today's abduction, those who patrol the "marked one" blocks are to set themselves on double shift. And patrol they did. For once the sun descended under the horizon and all the streetlights switched themselves on, several police cars circled around the blocks that hold the "marked ones" every hour, on the hour*

*enough about that however, for it doesn't concern the Staydamind residence. Claire is occupied with her cooking in the kitchen while Shad searches for something to watch on TV. After an unsuccessful channel-search, the preteen boy enters the kitchen for a drink of water. However, he only gets as far as opening the fridge door until Claire speaks whilst cleaning the hens*

Claire: Shad that wasn't very smart.

Shad: Oops. Heheh. May I have some water please?

Claire: You can have water anytime you want, but that's not what I was referring to.

Shad: You mean me taking too long to get the...

Claire: You were staring her! That's rude!

Shad: Rude? How can I not stare at her? She's cute.

Claire: She's...well, she's rather young. Not that there's much wrong with that.

Shad: You thought that girl would get mad?

Claire: I'm more worried whether her mother saw her or not. Tabatha's not one you should cross.

*Claire opens the spice cabinet and reaches for a small canister of garlic powder*

Claire: Tabatha's an Enforcer after all. I just feel sorry for whoever it was that took her daughter.

Shad: What does that have to do with staring at the girl? Child# 3-9-14-4-25. She also seemed embarrassed for some reason.

Claire: Also?

Shad: It's a little hard to explain. I kinda felt weird when I looked at her. And why did her mommy seem so mad?

Claire: I don't really know her a lot myself. Although it's rather odd that her daughter was left alone.

*after getting himself a glass of water, Shad thought to himself. Why was she left alone at the grocery store? Did she get lost? But if that's the case, why didn't she ask for help? And that lady. Why did she look so mad instead of comforting her crying child? And just what the heck is a Marked One? Those thoughts alone were rapidly spinning in Shad's head. So much that for the time being, he dismissed them*

Shad: *mutters to self* This place is so weird. I wonder what daddy would do.

*Shad lets that sentence get the best of him as he puts the now empty glass cup on the living room table and stealthily exits the house. The sky is a dark blue with no moon in sight. There are stars visible, but not too many of them. Thankfully, the streetlights provide plenty of illumination. All Shad needs now is a perfect view of the abducted girl's house. That wouldn't be a problem if the public speakers yell out its blaring, slightly rasping voice*

Public Speaker: THIS IS A REMINDER TO ALL FAMILY UNITS THAT ALL CHILDREN ARE TO REMAIN INDOORS DURING NIGHTFALL AT ALL TIMES!!!

*Shad jumped up a bit in shock. He was somewhat used to the overly loud volume of the speakers, but never has he heard it outside the home. He felt compelled to remain outside for a little while considering the speaker wasn't directly at him, but he wished not to make his mother angry again. Actually, she becomes more nervous then angry when he's in some sort of trouble. Not wishing to ponder things a bit and lament on not having a clear view of the abducted girl's home while outdoors for fear of another surprise (and possibly more detailed) announcement, Shad sprinted back into his home*

Shad: Now what?

*little does Shad know, the very home he wishes to gaze upon may not be good for entering. For within the house that Child# 3-9-14-4-25 resides, she and her mother Tabatha are in the midst of a heated conversation. Of course, considering the recent event concerning her abduction, it may as well be more of a stern warning for some reason instead of words of comfort*

*at only the tender age of 8, Child# 3-9-14-4-25 is an unusually shy little girl. Even now her head is down in shame for some unknown reason while her mother chastises her. Her curiosity, once in full bloom, is steadily being squelched down. She learned the hard way that there are many, if any, things that children should never ask, no matter how much the unknown tickles their fancy. For starters, there was once a time when she wondered why those in adulthood had non-numerical names while herself and her peers are numbered. This child is rather smart considering the level of education she's receiving, though she tries not to show it much. For doing so would make many aware of her gift. And for far too long it has been more of a burden on her heart and curse to anyone around her, particularly the Marked Ones*

*with hair recently cut down so it may only reach her shoulders and the same violet eyes as her daughter, Tabatha looks down on the child with a stern stare. It wasn't the first time though. Just last week she presumably wandered off from the return-home group from school. Upon coming home from work, the woman spotted her daughter and man in his mid-20s. What they were doing, she did not care. Frightened and angered, Tabatha immediately identified him as a Marked One, and as her absolute right of being an Enforcer, arrested him on the spot and took him to the station, where he awaits judgment. She loathes Marked Ones with absolute disgust, even more so due to the fact that her own little girl was allegedly socializing with them. One mustn't mingle with those who are marked, for it only brings great shame. Shame and interactions between her daughter and the Marked Ones that she will not tolerate*

Tabatha: Unless you wish for me to take drastic measures, do as I say and stay clear of the Marked Ones!

Child# 3-9-14-4-25: Yes mother. I'm a good girl, honest.

Tabatha: And good girls abide by many regulations, and I don't recall interacting with THOSE people being one! You may go to your room.

Child# 3-9-14-4-25: Yes mother.

*the violet-eyed girl walked back to her room, which is just upstairs. It's a rather vacant room. With only a bed, desk and tiny bookshelf to fill it, there's enough space for at least two more beds*

*the child tilts her head up at last. Although her tears have dried, her eyes are still glistening as she tries to hold back just a few more. Tired, she removes her sneakers and plops straight onto the bed face first, her long brown hair sprawled all over the bed. She rolls over and stares at her plain white ceiling, reminiscing today's events. The youngster puts her hand on her chest and presses down, feeling the rhythm of her heartbeat*

Child# 3-9-14-4-25: *whispers to herself* It happened again. What is it?

*it's been mentioned that the girl is smarter then most would think. As far as she knows, she's the only child who uncovered the secret to the numbered names children get in the community. She recalls practicing her ABCs. Twenty-six letters. And coincidently, the highest a number can go in a numbered name is 26, similar to one of her classmates Child# 26-1-3-11. She also knows higher numbers, but at one point, can only count up to 26. Then it hit her. Out of boredom, she wrote down her numbers, the right under them, wrote the letter appropriate for each number. Under 3 she put C. 9 matched the letter I. And so on and so forth. After about a minute of decoding, she saw exactly what it revealed. All children have real names. Then why do we use numbers, she thought*

*out of instinct and perhaps fate itself, she coined her newfound name and gave it to herself. However, she kept it to herself, knowing that the adults would find it suspicious that a mere child as herself could uncover the secret to the numerical names. So when she's alone in her room, or anywhere else where no one can hear her, she whispers just one word. The word that she, for reasons she can't put into words, discovered entirely on her own but at the same time, wishes she could say out loud someday, without any repercussions*

Child# 3-9-14-4-25: Cindy. My name is Cindy.


End of Chapter 2.


3 pages? That's shorter then the first chapter! Oh well. I'd say more but I'm too sleepy. Good night and please comment if need be!
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
Hidden Angels Original, ongoing fiction. (also hiated. Stupid college!)
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 2 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby robro » Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:49 am

again im without words to use for this
Imagethank you dp for this sig
im a bit dyslectic so please exuse posseble spelling error's
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Postby dark psyghost » Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:18 pm

Great update Shadow stated of mind.
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 2 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby robro » Wed Sep 27, 2006 2:35 pm

need sugestions on what to name it shad?
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Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:24 pm

Yes, please. Though I'll probably come up with something before you can respond.
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 2 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby robro » Thu Sep 28, 2006 9:34 am

if you do then i will be happy for you but meabie i come up with somthing before you


" the mistery of the marked " (motm for short)

how about that one?
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Postby Darkness_calls » Thu Sep 28, 2006 9:42 am

Wow... just WOW!¨
That is awesome!

YOu've always been one of my most favorite writers here and your newest fic is just maving fast up my rank pole!

Great liteture and I'm sorry If you only want constructive critisism. I'm not really good at those, so I just praise to show my support...
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 2 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:47 pm

Chapter 3


*the evening still lingers outside the houses. The only sounds heard are the distant sirens of the patrol vehicles circling the blocks that hold the houses of the Marked Ones and the tranquil screeches of crickets cloaked under the lawns. By now, the adults consume their daily supper, as with the children as they do their homework in their rooms. Likewise with Shad, who's in the midst of a writing assignment*

*his room doesn't really have much. Apart from the small square window, a bed, desk, lamp, and small bookshelf are the only pieces of furniture in his room. His bed consists of a plush mattress covered with blue bedsheets. His gray covers are neatly folded atop the white pillow. His bookshelf contains only school textbooks and the lamp gives off white light, but not very bright. Its illumination only covers the desk, littered with printed handouts scattered all over the desk. The rest of the room is left pitch black. Shad's room is the same as the room as Cindy's. In fact, it's said that all rooms belonging to children look like this. Bright in the day, and nearly dark at night, with only a small lamp on the desk for light*

*Shad nibbles on the end tip of his pen, something he does when he's deep within his thoughts. The writing assignment consists of a simple daily journal. Well, it'd be simple if he didn't have more thoughts scurrying throughout his head then usual. Normally he'd take things from the top and go down from there, but today's particular abduction of a certain Enforcer's daughter has him puzzled. And what would the teacher say if he were to mention his short step outside at night, a rather major transgression. Finally, Shad organized some of his thoughts together and stops nibbling on the pen and use it for its intended purpose. The boy writes as he speaks what he scribes*

Shad: Today we went to the grocery store in order to get things for dinner. When we left I saw Child# 3-9-14-4-25 standing outside by herself. A strange sight, that it is. When I entered the grocery store I don't recall seeing her. I had no idea she would soon be abducted by a Marked One. Child# 3-9-14-4-25 looks really cute, I must admit. My face sort of feels hot when I saw her. She was with an Enforcer, a woman named Tabatha...

*as Shad continues to transfer his thoughts of today's events to his journal, a knock is heard on the door downstairs. Shad pauses for a moment. Rarely does this house ever receive visitors. In fact, he can hardly recall the last time there was a guest in the house, if any. Right away, he disregards the surprise visit from whoever rung the doorbell as he continues organizing and writing his thoughts*

*if only it were that easy. If there's any mental weakness Shad has, it's being easily distracted. Whether it be being lost in his daydreams or in this case, very rare occurrences, Shad ceases his current work or activity and turns to the source of the distraction. At first, he desists, wanting to complete today's journal entry. Then again, this is yet another event that happened, and it isn't quite past midnight yet. Wanting to know more of the guest. Shad closes his journal and quietly opens the door as he exits the room*

*upon doing so, he almost jumps back to his room upon hearing his mother shout "Tabatha!" ever so loudly. Claire is apparently surprised by the visitor as well. An Enforcer no less! Shad is even more puzzled. Why would she come here? A visit from a regular citizen is rare enough, but an Enforcer? The only instances of that happening is arrests. Shad recalls hearing that some Enforcers go to other houses to carry out the execution of the criminal, who is more often then not a Marked One, who lives there! The boy has his doubts however*

*Shad tip-toes ever so slowly, only going as far as the edge of the stairs while remaining pressed against the wall. Downstairs at the living room, the TV is off and the 2 women sit around the table sipping some juice*

Claire: Most terribly sorry Tabatha. Had I knew that you were coming, I'd prepare some tea.

Tabatha: Your apology is not necessary. I'm merely here to talk. It's about your son.

*Claire almost chokes on her juice, covering her mouth to make sure none gets out*

Claire: You mean Sha...*quickly clasps her mouth shut in surprise and feigns a cough*

Tabatha: *raises an eyebrow* Who?

Claire: Ahem. I mean, Child# 19-8-1-4?

Tabatha: The very same. You see, upon arriving near my block, I'm sure my ears picked up a certain little boy shouted a greeting...

Claire: It...it wasn't at your daughter! Honest!

Tabatha: Hmm? I never said who he was waving at, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he sets store by the rules. I don't recall giving the child a greeting while taking my daughter home, so he had no right to holler.

Claire: Oh yes, speaking of the girl, how is she?

Tabatha: Not well, I assume. Granted, she was recovered safely, but God knows why that accursed Marked One took her to the police station of all places.

Claire: And I take it this wasn't the first time she was targeted?

Tabatha: The 5th time in the past 2 months. I'm almost starting to think that she's going to them instead.

Claire: Well I didn't see any deviant behavior. She's doing rather well in school. Just yesterday she was able to remember at least 3 of the multiplication tables.

Tabatha: That's all well and good, but never mind that. I also came to ask you a favor.

Claire: Pardon?

Tabatha: I need you to keep a close eye on her. There's hardly any room left in the latched areas, but I'm suspecting to think that these unwanted interactions between my daughter and the Marked Ones may not be accidental.

Claire: But...what if they're not Marked Ones? Perhaps you're...mistaken?

*in slight frustration, Tabatha slams her fist on the table, causing the cups to shake and ripples to form in the dark red liquid*

Tabatha: Enforcers DON'T make mistakes! Whether they're Marked Ones or not they mustn't be near my daughter! Not in these times! As my daughter she should know better then to do such things! At first it all started when she began to question...

Claire: *bites her nails* Y...y...yes. I'll keep an eye on her. Though I'm not sure as to why children can't be curious.

Tabatha: *bitter tone of voice* Curiosity leads to thoughts. Thoughts lead to actions. Grave actions! One must never question, especially the children! It is in their best interest. An interest managed by the Enforcers, the Counselors, the Church, and...surely you're aware where I'm going with this. It's just a shame that your husband didn't see the light of our ways. Instead, he sided with those...*fist shaking*...he of all people sided with those filthy, stinking, pe...

*a tiny sneeze is heard. This cuts Tabatha off as Claire turns around and sees a socked foot right at the top of the stairs. Tabatha sees it as well. Knowing full well who that foot belongs too, and the one hiding behind the wall, she puts down her cup and takes her leave*

Tabatha: I'll be heading home now. Be sure to take the proper precautions.

Claire: Precautions?

Tabatha: Of course. There was something else going though my mind when your son made his greeting. Something...fictional. I trust you'll make sure it doesn't happen again.

Claire: Y...y...yes Tabatha.

Tabatha: Very well. Good night.

*once the Enforcer exits the house, Shad makes his way downstairs and right beside his mother. A look of confusion was on his face, as he didn't quite understand much of what was discussed*

Claire: Weren't you doing your homework?

Shad: This is part of my homework.

Claire: Oh, your journal.

Shad: What were you talking about though? Something about that girl and watching her? I thought you did that when you're teaching her at school.

Claire: Well...things are a little more complicated then that. You see, because of the abduction, Tabatha wishes to safeguard her more.

Shad: But why? I thought the one who took her got arrested. And what did Tabatha mean when she said that it wasn't the first time it happened?

Claire: You mean you don't remember? The girl's number was mentioned by the public speakers at least 5 times within 2 months. Not all of them were abductions though.

Shad: What? If she wasn't abducted those times, then why...

Claire: Shad, I think you still have homework.

*after hearing that, Shad rushes back upstairs, writing down the latest event he witnessed in his journal. Of course it's rather crude at best since he didn't quite understand most of what was being discussed between his mother and Tabatha. Claire goes upstairs and passes by Shad's room*

Claire: Shad. What are we going to do? At this rate, you'll be suspected and just that alone will...*sighs; teary-eyed* Dimitri, why did you have to go? *goes back to biting her nails*


End of Chapter 3.
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
Hidden Angels Original, ongoing fiction. (also hiated. Stupid college!)
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 3 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby robro » Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:06 am

again i have no words to use on this piece of art as all words i use are a understatement
Imagethank you dp for this sig
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Postby dark psyghost » Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:07 pm

Great update Shadow state of mind.
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Postby Forse the Deathmaster » Tue Oct 03, 2006 2:03 pm

That's one difficult situation! Poor Claire! But when did all of these things happen? And why does Shad a number for a name now?
Awsome update Shad!
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Postby Darkness_calls » Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:11 am

Ohhh I'm really getting into this story. This fictional world of your is really outstandingly awesome!

I enjoy reading that and give you my most sinerce applause!
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 3 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:00 pm

Chapter 4


*night has passed, and the day begins anew. The patrol vehicles steer back to the station from whence they came, the shift of keeping an eye on the Marked Ones over. The sirens dim into silence as the cricket chirps do likewise upon the rising of the sun. The streetlights shut down as the resulting sunrise causes the numerous white houses to gain a temporary amber hue once again. Minutes pass and the sun rises higher, the white paint job returning to the homes*

*a couple of hours pass and the residents make their way to the cars. One by one they leave their respective driveways, on their way to the set locations. The first stop for some is a wide rectangular building with numerous windows. A possible academy, taking on numerous grades. Each part of the building is of a different color, separated by fences. The colors represent the grades for the students. From blue for 1st grade, all the way to 8th grade being the white part. The front yard has grass just as green and velvet as many of the homes do. Above the many doors, cameras similar in design to the ones at the houses are attached, along with a few security personnel seen through the windows patrolling the halls inside*

*the doors of the arrived cars and yellow school buses open as dozens upon dozens of children, some with attendants, go through the fences and congregate within the wide yard. The young ones from 1st to 3rd grade are in typical attire, but those 4th grade and onwards are in a uniformed garb. The boys don khaki pants, a long-sleeved button shirt with the color pertaining to their grade, and a gray vest. The girls wear long black dresses over shirts colored according to their grade. Both genders wear black shoes. The boys have short white socks and the girls wear long white stockings*

*the PA system rings its bell, and the sea of children are drawn away from the school yard and through separate doors according to their grade. Upon walking through the colorful hallways, the hall monitors guide the children around, making sure not one is late for class. Lateness isn't common thanks to them, although there can be a few slip ups every blue moon. In minutes, the students and their indistinct chatter no longer fill the corridors. The only ones left are the older ones. Hall monitors patrolling the school. Keeping an eye out for those who dare attempt to skip class. Such a thing is yet another high transgression, especially if it's a young student*

*as with most days, no child is outside their classroom. A scenario such as that is common in the 7th grade cluster. At this time, the homework is being graded, with written and verbal criticism depending on the answers the students give. In this case, the journal entries are being reviewed. Usually during this time, Shad is once again lost in his thoughts as he remains seated by his desk. A sure sign of this is when he nibbles on the back tip of his pen. A day has not passed with him not doing so. Some see it as a shared habit. Claire bites her nails due to stress whereas her son nibbles on the nearest pen when deep in his thoughts concerning something of random interest. This time, it's one that concerns the young girl who was presumably abducted. Yet for some reason he can't seem to sort out and isolate the exact reason as to why she's stuck in his thoughts. Unfortunately, when he gets close to doing so...*

*SLAM!! Shad's body jerks itself off the chair in shock due to the loud booming sound, landing on his posterior. Upon regaining his senses, he hears a few snickers from his peers as he looks at what appears to be a long tartan skirt, covering as low as the ankles. He looks up and sees a plain white blouse, followed by a necklace of a cross. Finally, he tilts his head higher and finally sees the source of the sound that jolted him off his seat. A middle-aged woman with hazel eyes, curly chestnut red hair, and a rather unattractive scowl on her face. Not wishing to provoke her, Shad scrambles back to his seat*

Shad: *blushes* Uh...good morning Ms. Louise.

Ms. Louise: *sternly* Daydreaming again I see. Of course I should've known beforehand due to your rather cockamamie habit of nibbling your pen like a hamster.

*the classmates chuckle once more, stopping only when the teacher waves her arm around in a stance of authority*

Ms. Louise: *to the class* Silence! *to Shad* Look at your latest journal entry. What do you see?

*Shad looks down on his desk and sees a white sheet of looseleaf paper. The very same paper that came from his journal. Among his normal scribbles of daily life however, are bold red comments beside and below the paragraph. Also, the same red ink has also crossed out certain excerpts of the entry*

Shad: I see my entry, but I think I made mistakes.

Ms. Louise: What kind of mistakes?

Shad: Um...I think I wasn't paying attention and put the comma at the wrong...

Ms. Louise: Never mind those meager errors! I'm referring to what's crossed out! See something missing?!

*Shad does what his teacher says. Upon doing so, he notices that for some reason, the sentence concerning the Enforcer he spotted, her name to be precise, has been crossed out. Another excerpt rendered illegible is the paragraph that speaks of the surprise visit from Tabatha and her plans to assign Claire additional supervision over her daughter. Despite feeling rather peculiar about what Ms. Louise most likely presumes to be major errors, this isn't the first time Shad saw such things covered up*

Shad: Why did...

Ms. Louise: Those are non-essential to your events during the day. In fact, one can say that a couple more of what you've written are borderline transgressions. Take another look.

*Shad looks down at his journal entry once more. Unlike the previous cross-outs, this one has him puzzled. The comments he wrote down pertaining to Child# 3-9-14-4-25 (AKA Cindy), including his initial blush upon setting eyes on the girl, weren't just crossed out. They were practically wiped off with white out!*

Shad: Why?

Ms. Louise: I highly suggest that it doesn't happen again for your sake! You are to transcribe events that pertain to your ilk! Whatever that conversation between your mother and the Enforcer was, it had nothing to do with you. A child wouldn't be interested in such things.

Shad: But what does the girl have to do with thi...

Ms. Louise: *angered* DON'T question my statements!! I'll give your entry a D- this time but I expect the next one to be proper and acceptable. And one more thing, put your glasses back on.

*Shad sighs. Despite wanting some valid answers he knows better then to provoke Ms. Louise. He digs in his pocket and out comes a rounded rectangle glasses case. Shad opens it and reluctantly puts the specs on*

*the teacher's anger vanishes almost immediately as she moves from row to row, returning the graded journal entries to the students. By now, all eyes are on Shad. It isn't normal for children to speak out against adults, much less teachers. Shad is among the rare few who do that. After all, they view adults to be among the high authority. Most things they say are correct and, if necessary, final. At least that's how it goes in the community*

*the boy ends up nibbling on his pen all throughout his classes, deep in thought once again. The chestnut topped woman presumes that a child such as himself wouldn't be curious of a conversation between 2 adults. Guess she doesn't know that the factoid pertains to Shad. Besides, it's not quite normal for a busy person such as an Enforcer to just pop in unannounced. Why, he just couldn't resist. He might've even "accidentally" fell down the stairs so he can properly introduce himself had Tabatha not left so abruptly. Obviously Shad thinks that what Ms. Louise said was for his own good. Yet he sees it as disguised sophistry. Who wouldn't resist to find out why someone who's so busy tracking down Marked Ones wherever he or she goes, to just waltz into a home where a Marked One isn't present? That brings in just one more question for the time being. One that's been practically pounding his head every day since first hearing of it, but didn't quite ask of yet*

*...just what IS a Marked One?*

*at the moment, recess is in progress at the 3rd grade cluster. At the school yard, the children go about on normal play despite a certain requirement. Both genders must be segregated to an extent. One side of the 3rd grade yard houses the little boys, having short races and playing tetherball. The opposite side is where the girls play, participating in hopscotch and jump-rope. As always, the cameras hidden in a few nearby trees allow security personnel to keep constant surveillance on the young ones for any improper behavior. However, the female side of the yard is short a few girls*

*one of those girls is still in the classroom, having a late lunch consisting of a turkey sandwich and a small carton of milk. All alone, Cindy takes a few bites of her afternoon meal. Gazing out the window, she spots the rest of the children frolicking about. She may do the same, but she wasn't in the mood to do so. In fact, she wonders if the others would even play with her due to her interactions with the Marked Ones and her alleged abduction. No, she thinks. They always say things about others without knowing them, she says to herself every now and then. The girl takes a sip from her carton*

Claire's voice: You're still here? Why aren't you outside?

*Cindy tilts her head up, facing the blackboard at the front of the class. More specifically, she faces her teacher Mrs. Staydamind. The tall woman just entered the classroom, although Cindy didn't take notice due to her somewhat melancholy state. The lonely student packs her half finished lunch and makes her way to the door*

Claire: Where are you going?

Cindy: Outside. You said so, didn't you?

Claire: Now now, if you don't want to go out for the afternoon, you don't have to. I'm not forcing you.

Cindy: *stops in her tracks* What? But the other teachers said...

Claire: Well I said you can stay here if you want to. After all, I've been assigned to give you additional supervision.

Cindy: Daddy told me. He was really angry about what happened yesterday. *perched back on a nearby chair* He's been mad at me for a long time.

Claire: *takes a seat next to Cindy* Why so? You were abducted!

Cindy: That's what they thought happened.

Claire: Hmm? Thought happened?

Cindy: *gasps* I'm sorry! Forget it! I don't know why I said that!

Claire: It's okay. When you're with me, you can say whatever you want. Though I'm curious about what you just said there.

Cindy: You're not...huh? You're weird Mrs. Staydamind.

Claire: How so?

Cindy: When I say something like that, the other teachers get really mad at me. Sometimes they give me time out or make me stay late after school. But every time it happens, my mommy knows. She always knows.

Claire: No surprise there. She's an Enforcer after all. They know many things. Or so Dimitri believed.

Cindy: I say you're weird in a good way. You don't get mad when I talk back or say something that lots of other people say is always right. You're my favorite Mrs. Staydamind.

Claire: Now now, not sure if you can go that far. May I ask you a question?

Cindy: Okay.

Claire: What did you mean by that?

Cindy: By what?

Claire: You said that what many people thought what happened yesterday with you didn't really happen. Are you implying that you weren't really abducted?

Cindy: *head down* Well...it...it wasn't fair!

Claire: *holds Cindy's hand* It's okay. Just explain little by little.

Cindy: *raising her voice* Why? No one else believes me. They never do. *sniff* Telling them only made them madder!

*before the conversation can continue, the bell rings via the PA system. This signals both students and faculty back to their previous locations. It isn't long until Claire and Cindy hear numerous footsteps*

Claire: According to what your mom said, you might be dropped off at my house. You can tell me all about it there.

Cindy: *timidly* O...okay. Thank you.

Claire: No thanks necessary. You can trust me. Now take out your textbooks. The students will be here any moment.

*soon enough, the children indeed did enter the classroom in formal order. By then, Claire was writing the main topic on the blackboard as Cindy takes out her notebook*

Cindy: She trusts me? No adult never...never said that to me before.


End of Chapter 4!
Last edited by Shadowed State of Mind on Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:28 pm, edited 5 times in total.
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
Hidden Angels Original, ongoing fiction. (also hiated. Stupid college!)
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 3 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby robro » Mon Oct 16, 2006 9:12 am

nice short update(i know it is not finished but still i call this a update)
Imagethank you dp for this sig
im a bit dyslectic so please exuse posseble spelling error's
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i hate that and it pisses me off real bad
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Postby Darkness_calls » Mon Oct 16, 2006 7:42 pm

So small... BUT MATTERS NOT for is shows one thing. YOu are still alive lol

OK but yeah, even for it shortness it was good, A fine beggining of what will soon be even better (the full chapter that is).
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Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:29 pm

BAH!! After much toil and trouble on finding suitable time, chapter 4 is finally complete!
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
Hidden Angels Original, ongoing fiction. (also hiated. Stupid college!)
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 4 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby robro » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:52 am

fantastic update to the update ;)
Imagethank you dp for this sig
im a bit dyslectic so please exuse posseble spelling error's
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please do not curce somone to get cancer while you know im looking
i hate that and it pisses me off real bad
my fanfic
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Postby GridsNaranek » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:58 am

Great stuff, I look forward to more!
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Postby Darkness_calls » Wed Oct 25, 2006 7:36 am

Wheeeeeeeeee
Greatness and saddening at the same time. This fic is really misterious, which is a great thing. Good work Shad my friend, I am really looking forward for more!
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Postby dark psyghost » Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:06 pm

Good update Shadow State of Mind.
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 4 of untitled fic is UP)

Postby Shadowed State of Mind » Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:30 am

Chapter 5


*hours has passed since Cindy's little chat with Claire. School is still in session but only for about half an hour or so. The children were still able to pay attention despite the vast energy used during playtime. A few have grass stains on their clothing due to trips and friction between their garb and the leafy green blades. Chances are they'll most likely get a hefty scolding due to their slight negligence of being careful. Now however, they simply can't wait until they can finish a short pop quiz and finally head home, like any child would. However, one child won't quite go home right away. Not her own at least*

*since that talk with her teacher Cindy felt more relaxed. More or less, simply knowing of an adult she's most comfortable speaking to without any sort of repercussions of her own. The only thing that worries her is if she'll believe her side of the story of what really happened yesterday. Although she mentioned that the abduction was most likely taken out of context, a few more slips of the tongue and she wouldn't be sure if she can reverse the mistake. And this wasn't the first time*

*as mentioned by her Enforcer parent, she's been "involved" with people she first thought she shouldn't have been with many times in the past. When they were discovered by others, only the worst was assumed. Either the person Cindy was with in question was a Marked One or labeled as a Marked One post-haste. Her voice of reason detailing otherwise was shunned and drowned out, the usual responses that she is "too young" to understand and comprehend such things. If only they knew. Even last night she was scolded by her parents, for they're starting to suspect that she's rebelling, something which is far from the girl's intention. Once again, she gets saddened and falls into a short state of hopelessness due to her muted voice. All because of the one thing she's slowly starting to despise; a double-edged sword so to speak. A gift which she has almost no control over. A feeling she can't comprehend; a new type of sense. It attracts herself and certain others to her...and makes the latter disappear*

*now she begins to wonder if being a "smart-aleck" is bad. If pointing out things that others don't seem to see with their own eyes is some sort of transgression she doesn't know about. Would she be better off being like everyone else? Not wanting to delve deeper into the hysteria over something she used to see as normal? To not know their own true names?*

*regardless of what's going through her mind, Cindy focuses on her pop quiz sheet on math. It doesn't take her nor the rest of the students long to finish it before the bell rings, thus ending the school day. The children march out the rooms in single file after packing their belongings as Claire leads them out of the school, the other teachers doing likewise with the rest of the 3rd graders. Upon going through the large double doors and stepping outside, several yellow school buses are seen parked right in front of the school, awaiting their young passengers. However, while the youngsters make their way inside the bus, Claire takes Cindy as they start to walk all the way near the left side of the building, a somewhat long trek it is. While they do so, Claire takes hold of Cindy's hand. The hand holding somewhat puzzles Cindy; it’s something not quite common, or even seen between teachers and 3rd graders. Normally such interactions are limited to kindergarteners. The fact that Claire is taking her elsewhere is enough to ponder a question*

Cindy: We're not going on the bus?

Claire: No no, not this time. Your mother requested that I take you home personally.

Cindy: Why? The bus driver can take me, can't he?

Claire: *sigh* Who knows? She was quite adamant about her decision. She even insisted that I have Shad take the bus home. Considering how many children need to be dropped off it'll take him some time to arrive.

Cindy: Huh?! Who's Shad?

*flabbergasted at her tongue slip, Claire gasps as she raises her hand (that isn't holding Cindy's) to her mouth. Did she make a transgression by saying her son's non-numerical name? Did someone hear her doing so?*

Claire: *stutters* N...never mind about that. No need to w-w-worry.

Cindy: Mommy was really determined on her decision. Is that what adamant means?

Claire: Say, how did you know?

Cindy: Well...it's really silly. You won't believe me. No one does.

Claire: Really? Come now, you can tell me.

Cindy: *reluctantly* ...Okay, but only when we get to your home.

Claire: Whatever you say.

*dropping the short conversation for now, Cindy and Claire arrive at the faculty parking lot; the designated car on the front row. After deactivating the alarm (with a tiny remote on the keychain), the tall teacher opens the front door to unlock the steering wheel. After that though...*

Girl's voice: *shouting* Teacher! Ms. Staydamind!

*Cindy and Claire turn around just before getting in the car. A girl of Asian ethnicity about Cindy's age sprints to the teacher with an anxious look on her face. She dons black eyes and short shoulder-length black hair. Her ID tag: 5-13-9-12-25. Right away Cindy knew her name the moment she glanced at said tag*

Cindy: Emily? Why is she in a hurry?

Claire: What's wrong?

Emily: *pant pant* Oh. You're still here. Ms. Staydamind, can you use that thing again?

Claire: Already? I already used it yesterday. It should be more then...

*before the sentence is finished, Emily thrusts her arms forward and displays her wrists. The wrists appear unusually red and raw, and her hands are a slight shade of purple, as if the blood circulation was cut off somehow*

Cindy: How did that happen?

Emily: *hands shaking due to a throbbing pain* An accident when we had playtime.

Claire: Again? You really need to be more careful, this is the 5th time this month.

Emily: *pleading* Please? I promise I'll be more careful. None of the other teachers will help.

Claire: *sighs* Keep your arms out and your hands still.

*Claire reaches into her dress pocket and takes out a small white tube. It bears no label whatsoever and the part near the opening is flattened. Whatever is inside is probably very low in terms of quantity. Nevertheless, Claire squirts out 2 small dabs of a thick pink liquid, one on each wrist, and gently rubs it in small circles. Within seconds, the aches are gone and Emily breathes a sigh of relief*

Emily: Thank you Ms. Staydamind!

Claire: Please, don't have any more accidents again. It's starting to run out.

Emily: Okay. *notices Cindy* Why are you with Ms. Staydamind?

Cindy: .........................

Claire: Her mother assigned me to look after her.

Emily: The Enforcer lady? Wow, that must be a lot of work. *in a slightly mocking tone* Don't be a bad girl!

Cindy: I think the bus is leaving now.

Emily: *turns around and sees the distant buses starting to back up* AHH! I have to go now! Bye bye!

*Emily runs off to catch up to the departing bus as Cindy and Claire enter the car. Cindy goes to the backseat as Claire takes the wheel. The key is inserted, the ignition turned on, and VROOOM! Off they go*

Cindy: *thinks about Emily's unexpected arrival; whispers* Liar.

Claire: What was that?

Cindy: Um...nothing!

*Cindy believes she has good reason for calling Emily such a thing. From what little she heard, Emily claims to have had an accident during recess, implying that she was roughing up a bit and got too energetic for a time. Too much hyperactivity indeed causes accidents and minor bruises. They fall down and get their clothes dirty. Some students are less lucky and end up scraping their elbows and knees. Never has Cindy witnessed, or ever heard of a fall that caused the marks she saw on Emily's wrists. It appeared as if someone grabbed her by the wrists and squeezed them for whatever reason. Did a bully do it? No. The 3rd graders aren't physically strong enough to do that. A teacher? Recess supervisor? She looked out the window while opting to remain inside and not once did she see Emily neither fall nor break any rules. So if it’s not a bully or adult, then what? Not that this baffled the violet-eyed girl the first time. The same can also go for Emily going to Claire for relief of pain*

*but for now, Cindy drops it and remains silent as she looks out the window. From within the moving vehicle, she sees the entire neighborhood scroll right past her. Not bound by the bus route, she sees other areas that she's familiar with. The supermarket known as a one-stop shop for produce, the corner store affiliated with it, the loudspeaker poles bound to the block corners, and finally, they arrive at the suburban area. Upon reaching said area, Cindy catches sight of the homes where the Marked Ones take residence*

*they can be easy to spot, and not just because of the insignias engraved onto the doors. The exterior quality of the houses gives it all away. Most of the windows shattered, the paint job scratched off by someone or something, and the lawn is either too thin, totally barren, weed-infested or far overgrown. Few have flowers planted, but on the next day, they end up being thrown out due to being trampled upon. The very reason why these things happen, are the very reasons why most Marked Ones almost never leave what seems to be their only safe abode: their houses*

*thankfully, the harsh sight is scrolled away from Cindy's view as the car slows down a bit. It has reached the proper destination. Claire backs up a bit as she vertically aligns the car with the driveway and moving in. After the car is parked, Claire and Cindy exit the vehicle and make their way to the front door*

Cindy: It feels so empty.

Claire: That's because everyone else is still at work. Normally I'd still be in school right now but...well, you know. *unlocks the door*

Cindy: Mommy's at work now. Daddy too.

Claire: Let's get inside please.

*the females step inside the home, the living room already adequately illuminated by sunshine. Cindy notices that the living room set, is almost identical to the set she's familiar with from her residence. The one thing that she definitely doesn't recall being in her home is a short maple-colored TV stand that appears to double as a DVD cupboard. Its doors are closed shut and the left side seems to have a small glass circle in the middle. Not paying that much attention, Cindy takes a seat near the table*

Claire: Need anything to drink?

Cindy: *shakes head*

Claire: Then let's get started.

Cindy: Oh. That thing I was supposed to tell you?

Claire: You mentioned that you weren't abducted yesterday, yet...

Cindy: I know. Everyone else thought it happened, but it didn't! Really!

Claire: Now now, calm down. Take it one step at a time.

Cindy: Fine, but before I tell you, can I say something else first?

Claire: Sure. You can ask me anything.

Cindy: *taken aback* Huh? Really?! I mean, okay. This grown-up. She feels a little different from everyone else. How? Are adults always correct?

Claire: Well I wouldn't say they're perfect. They're not always wrong either. Why do you ask?

Cindy: I wanted to ask you. I didn't think it would be a good idea to ask someone else again.

Claire: Hmm? Again?

Cindy: I told my mommy what really happened after the person who they thought took me away got arrested. She didn't believe me. No one did. Not even the children!

Claire: Is it okay if I guess, but not assume, that this wasn't the first time this happened to you?

Cindy: Lots of people probably know. My na...number was announced just last week because I was with something called a Marked One. He was blamed and not me.

Claire: Last week's incident aside, can you tell me what happened yesterday?

Cindy: Promise you won't yell?

Claire: Why would I do that? I said you can tell me anything.

Cindy: Easy for you to say. We went shopping yesterday. Mommy and I were in the frozen food part of the supermarket to get frozen vegetables. I was really cold and so was the rest of the store since the heater was broken. I also forgot to bring my jacket with me.

Claire: Oh, we were there on the same day. My son didn't really mind the cold.

Cindy: Well, I told mommy if I could go back in the car so I can get the sweater. She said no, I have to help. I wanted to help but I was shaking too much. I really needed my jacket. She still said no and then said that the car was too far away. I didn't know what she meant because it was parked in the parking lot, and it didn't take us long to get inside. She also said that it was my fault that I didn't bring the jacket.

Claire: *perplexed* What?! Tabatha said that?!

Cindy: Uh-huh. So I just stayed with mommy, but I couldn't hold anything for her because I was shaking from the cold too much. If I knew that the heater would break when we got in...

Claire: Easy now, don't get frazzled. You didn't know it'd be on the fritz that day. But come to think of it, I did see you with a sweater on outside when me and my son were done shopping.

Cindy: That's because my mommy got mad since I kept dropping everything. She let me go get my jacket to be warm, but only if I took that thing on her keychain.

Claire: Miniature GPS. Looks a little like an iPod but its more accurate then most public ones. Only Enforcers have them.

Cindy: She only gave me the tracking thing for the GPS so she can see where I'm going even from far away, but I had to hurry since it was running out of batteries. So I went in the car and got the jacket, then went back to the supermarket. That's when I saw you come out. But before I went in myself...I heard someone.

Claire: Who?

Cindy: A man, but he seemed confused. I think he was new in town because he was grumbling something about not being able to find a police station. He didn't even have an ID card yet. I think.

Claire: You didn't follow him, did you?

Cindy: *shakes head* No! If anything, he followed me.

Claire: How so?

Cindy: He needed to find a place where he can confirm his place as a citizen, and to do that you need an ID card. That's what my daddy says.

Claire: Then what?

Cindy: I asked him what's wrong. He said he needed a new one. His old one got caught in a paper shredder while he was getting rid of something. And he just moved here too.

Claire: I see. So he needed to find a place to get a new ID card but he didn't know his way around yet.

Cindy: Yeah. The closest place to us that could do that is the police station. I knew where it was so I told him I can take him. He said if I was su...

Claire: Wait, so you just asked him if you could help?

Cindy: It wouldn't take me that long.

Claire: Didn't you think that's a bit dangerous?

Cindy: I knew he wasn't dangerous.

Claire: Not that I've seen him be...*slightly stunned* What was that?

Cindy: *feels her heartbeat pounding again* It's weird, but I just looked up at him and knew he wasn't bad. He was just lost.

Claire: So you offered to help a stranger in need and just knew he wasn't bad?

Cindy: I get it. *head down* You don't believe me. Not like anyone el...

Claire: Wait wait, I do believe you! Honest! Just continue please.

Cindy: Fine. So when I told him he could follow me to the police station to get his new ID card, he almost didn't believe me. It took me a minute to convince him I knew my way around that part of the neighborhood. The place was just a few blocks away. It's just behind the rest of the buildings so it's really easy to miss. While we were walking, he told me where he came from. It's some island somewhere, I forgot the name. There must be a lot of sun too because his skin was bronze-looking. I asked him why he moved here. He said he needed to help someone here. I asked who but he said it's top secret, or something like that. He was also wondering why the children had number names while the grown-ups have real names.

Claire: You had a conversation with him about where he came from and how he was doing? The news mentioned nothing about that.

Cindy: We got to the police station, but the moment we got inside...*starts shaking*

Claire: You don't need to say anymore. I think I can figure out what happened next.

Cindy: *snaps back* It wasn't fair either! When they arrested him, they said he was trying to abduct me or something and made him a Marked One! I tried to explain but they kept saying I didn't know what I was talking about! All I did was just watch him pushed into a jail cell and I had to wait until mommy picked me up! *sniff* He was so scared in that cell. He didn't even know what a Marked One is! All he was is someone who was lost so I helped him out. They thought I was lying, saying that a grown-up wouldn't ask a "dim" child for any help.

Claire: *unfazed by the confession* Slow down. Let's just go back a bit.

Cindy: What?! You're not even surprised?!

Claire: Believe me, I wish I was. Go back to when you first saw him. You mentioned something along the lines of not knowing he was a bad person. Can you describe it the best you can?

Cindy: I can't. It's too hard to say.

Claire: Did you feel anything?

Cindy: It's the same thing I feel when I meet a Marked One. It doesn't happen with all of them, but when it does, by heart goes "bump bump" when he's friendly but my stomach hurts really bad when they're not good.

Claire: Not much. Cindy couldn't be having that many interactions with the Marked Ones. Unless... How is your vision?

Cindy: Where'd that come from?

Claire: Please answer. I just want to go astray from the subject at hand. You seem to be getting uncomfortable.

Cindy: Thank you. I never needed glasses, so I can see just fine.

Claire: You...never see anything out of the ordinary?

Cindy: *shakes head* Nope. No abnormalities.

Claire: *smiles* Cindy, did I ever mention that your vocabulary is quite above your age level?

*shocked and confused by hearing someone else other then herself say her name, the once small violets in Cindy's eyes widen. She scoots her seat back quickly*

Cindy: How...ho...HOW?!?!

Claire: *not surprised* Whoops. Should've seen this coming I suppose.

Cindy: *pleading; panicking* I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry! Please don't tell mommy and daddy! If they find out I found my real name...

Claire: Why are you jumping to conclusions?! I never said I was going to tell anyone. I'm even more surprised you've figured out your real name.

Cindy: The number names are too long. I was only able to get help by thinking more, and even then I needed help from Arlcie.

Claire: Arlcie? I don't recall a student by that name in school.

Cindy: That's because no one's ever seen him.

Claire: You've never seen this person yet he helps you?

Cindy: It's really weird. I don't get why he wants to help me, when there are other kids who need his help.

Claire: Exactly how did this Arlcie help you?

Cindy: It all started when...

*there was the sound of door locks unlocking, followed by the door opening, unleashing a slight draft. A certain young boy walks in, a little taken aback to find his mother and a student together in the living room. He's be even more surprised to see Cindy in his home, but it was to be expected*

Shad: Hi mommy. Didn't expect to be home so late.

Claire: Welcome back Shad. Shad, meet my student Cindy. Cindy, meet my son Shad.

Shad: Sh...she looks even cuter up close. Did I interrupt anything mommy?

Cindy: Mommy? Shad? Um...*raises hand*

Claire: Yes Cindy?

Cindy: Why do you call him Shad? His numb...

Claire: Too long and too computerized. Besides, I called you by your real name didn't I?

Shad: *not catching on* Huh? What? Her name is Cindy? I thought her name was...what was it again?

Claire: Hahaha. See Cindy? Age doesn't necessarily equal knowledge in all cases. He still doesn't know what the numbers on his ID card are for.

Shad: *blushes* Hey! Quit teasing me mommy!

Cindy: Why do you call Claire mommy? Everyone else calls their parents Mother or Father.

Claire: It's hard for some to grow out of certain things. Not that I mind of course. It's...how do I say? Cute, for lack of a better word.

Shad: Me? Cute?!

Claire: Now now, that's enough. Cindy and I were having quite the conversation. Drop your bag somewhere and join in.

Shad: Fine, but if anyone here is the cute one, it's Cindy.

Cindy: *gasps; eyes fixated on Shad*

Claire: What's wrong Cindy?

Cindy: N...*slight shaking* nothing. Nothing wrong.

Claire: *sighs* So she lied after all. Not that I blame her, the poor child.

*Shad pulls in one more chair to the table. Despite what Cindy said, it's clear to Claire that things weren't okay. There's very good reason for that though. Just now Shad unknowingly demonstrated a behavior, no, a verbal gesture not unlike the ones most Marked Ones make. Although Cindy has just met Shad, already she knows that he isn't a bad person. Unfortunately, upon having her stare fixated on the preteen for a mere second, she's almost certain that she must begin to distance herself from him now. Not because she fears for her safety, but because she no longer wants to be partially, if not, completely responsible for finalizing the fate of the Marked Ones. No longer does she want to make who she believes to be almost the polar opposite of what she's been told of them...disappear*


End of Chapter 5!
Last edited by Shadowed State of Mind on Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:59 am, edited 8 times in total.
The Life and Times of Shad Staydamind PPG fic; finished. part 1/3
Dual Minds Think Alike PPGD fic, part 2/3; finished (trilogy is on an indefinite hiatus)
Hidden Angels Original, ongoing fiction. (also hiated. Stupid college!)
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Re: SSoM's fic thread! (chapter 5 [25%] of original fic is U

Postby robro » Mon Nov 20, 2006 2:49 pm

dont, i repeat DONT rush yourself
Imagethank you dp for this sig
im a bit dyslectic so please exuse posseble spelling error's
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please do not curce somone to get cancer while you know im looking
i hate that and it pisses me off real bad
my fanfic
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