The Writer's Lounge

Fan-fiction, short stories, screenplays, poems -- anything text-based really belongs here.

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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Comic Kitten » Mon May 05, 2014 12:24 pm

Thank you! It's already getting pretty frequent business, I'm excited for it to grow!
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Millo » Tue May 06, 2014 2:07 pm

I'm glad about your business CK C-: but perhaps you might want to hire a web designer to help fix up your website up. No offense it's just a lot of things don't work too well together.
Have you tried turn it off and on again?
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Comic Kitten » Wed May 07, 2014 7:09 am

Yeah I kind of did it myself haha I'm going to have my web designer friend look at it when I get back to the states :)
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Tuor » Wed Jun 18, 2014 3:55 am

I've been reading an anthology of almost all of Hemingway's short story, and I've been enjoying it tremendously. I felt like this would be a good place to share some of my favourite bits. These bits are stand alone vignettes placed between sections of the book that I quite liked. I might drop chunks of the short stories in here later, or else just name favourites and y'all can look them up if you feel like. The stories ranges from a page and a bit to about 25 pages in length. I actually think Hemingway's writing style lends him much better to short story writing than writing novels.

While the bombardment was knocking the trench to pieces at Fossalta, he lay very flat and sweated and prayed oh jesus christ get me out of here. Dear jesus please get me out. Christ please please please christ. If you’ll only keep me from getting killed I’ll do anything you say. I believe in you and I’ll tell every one in the world that you are the only one that matters. Please please dear jesus. The shelling moved further up the line. We went to work on the trench and in the morning the sun came up and the day was hot and muggy and cheerful and quiet. The next night back at Mestre he did not tell the girl he went upstairs with at the Villa Rossa about Jesus. And he never told anybody.


The first matador got the horn through his sword hand and the crowd hooted him. The second matador slipped and the bull caught him through the belly and he hung on to the horn with one hand and held the other tight against the place, and the bull rammed him wham against the wall and the horn came out, and he lay in the sand, and then got up like crazy drunk and tried to slug the men carrying him away and yelled for his sword but he fainted. The kid came out and had to kill five bulls because you can't have more than three matadors, and the last bull he was so tired he couldn't get the sword in. He couldn't hardly lift his arm. He tried five times and the crowd was quiet because it was a good bull and it looked like him or the bull and then he finally made it. He sat down in the sand and puked and they held a cape over him while the crowd hollered and threw things down into the bull ring.


If it happened right down close in front of you, you could see Villalta snarl at the bull and curse him, and when the bull charged he swung back firmly like an oak when the wind hits it, his legs tight together, the muleta* trailing and the sword following the curve behind. Then he cursed the bull, flopped the muleta at him, and swung back from the charge his feet firm, the muleta curving and at each swing the crowd roaring.
When he started to kill it was all in the same rush. The bull looking at him straight in front, hating. He drew out the sword from the folds of the muleta and sighted with the same movement and called to the bull, Toro! Toro! and the bull charged and Villalta charged and just for a moment they became one. Villalta became one with the bull and then it was over. Villalta standing straight and the red hilt of the sword sticking out dully between the bull's shoulders. Villalta, his hand up at the crowd and the bull roaring blood, looking straight at Villalta and his legs caving.


*a muleta is a style of cape used in bullfights, it is used in the final third of the fight
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Millo » Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:55 pm

Do any of you have any experience in poetry? A friends birthday is coming up and they're a talented poet and I want to write a poem about how I feel about them. Its going to be included with a painting I did as well.

I'm not a very good writer so if anyone here is willing to maybe look over my work and help me iron it out I'd be grateful
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Birdofterror » Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:07 pm

You're doubting your writing ability after having written "Ben and Shelia"? That was some of the best stuff I've seen to come out of the literature forum.

Tuor has done poems and has an entire thread for it on this segment of the forum. A few other people here have dabbled in it too.

Why not get pointers from your friend if you can't get any here?
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Millo » Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:13 pm

Because its for them and its supposed to be a surprise .


And you flatter me, I don't think Ben and Shelia is all that great
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Re: The Writer's Lounge

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Mon Jul 21, 2014 8:03 am

Kept meaning to talk about this. Haven't finished the book yet as I keep getting distracted a lot. Right now I'm far too drowsy to keep finishing it.

But it was as I suspected, Valedor by Guy Haley gets a 'lot' better once it's pass the prologue. Guy Hayley has fun forming the Eldar world and sharing his own input and having all these interesting characters. It is also really-really well written, the writing is far better pass the prologue. I would pick out some of my most favourite sentences... but I didn't think to note those down while reading it. He also has a lot of fun with the Dark Eldar, they're over the top arrogant bad guys who are helping the good guys in the story as Guy Hayley wanted to justify why Eldar and Dark Eldar had no problem being allies while playing the actual dice game of warhammer 40k.... have to say he didn't do a great job, don't understand how they get so well on in the game without any drawbacks. It really raises more questions with how evil the Dark Eldar act to the Eldar than answers. So people who have played the table-top wargame and have been befuddled by this will be even more befuddled.
One thing I'm not sure to fully think about, but do think it makes it great for warhammer fans, for while I was questioning the changes in perspective, the character developing and just general story telling, this wasn't telling a story, it was telling a war. Probably had to explain as I haven't read too many books and could probably be explained by someone else much better. But lets say it focuses more on telling the quest than the actual characters, all while still using the characters. Again confusing, but I do think the fact that it seems more like a war novel than an actual adventure novel that warhammer tends to be for some reason, is great for gamers wanting to read more about the warhammer world. (We're playing a wargame, not an rpg game)
Some problems though is that it's really-really predictable, doesn't even try to hide it, guess Guy Haley knew these had all the ingredients to what he was going to do and instead of attempting to cover up, he just went with it, I guess that's the best thing to do, especially when again the story revolves around a war than a proper story. There's also times you know Guy Haley didn't care for this scene and just wanted to get pass it, he forced himself to write it so he can get it out of the way. I'm know this time he had two typos in one page, I'm sure of it!... But I didn't bookmark it. It's only occasional though that he forced himself and I think that can sometimes be bound to happen for a writer.

I do think Valedor's something worth reading it you want something different, so yeah, not too recommended, but if you find a friend offering you to burrow it or unsure what to read and yet happen to find that in the library you're looking through, go for it, it's not a novel that you'll regret reading.
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