Poetry: "Rain"

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Poetry: "Rain"

Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:01 pm

Blergh.

Read my Poetry and Despair!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Rain"

My heart is troubled.

My spirit broken.

My body is injured.

My thoughts unspoken.



But when I listen to the rain,

All my troubles wash away.

Everything becomes a wonder,

In the light of the coming day.



And my heart begins to mend,

As my spirit seeks a friend.

While my body heals so slowly,

And my thoughts come 'round again.



As I listen to the rain,

To the dripping and the spatter,

and I rest my weary frame,

All my troubles seem not to matter.



Shall I give you my heart?

Will you be my spirits lift?

Will you help me heal my body?

And take my thoughts as the dearest gift?



Or shall I just listen to the rain,

As we play this lonely game,

to the dripping and the spatter,

that makes my problems seem not to matter.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Raarrrgh. Beware! All those who belittle my poems! Beware I say!
Syaoran and Sakura "Meant to be"
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Re: Poetry: "Rain"

Postby Spruce Moose » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:08 pm

I'm sorry. I hate emo or angst poetry. And I want to see how you'll react when I say that. Both of those statements are completely true.
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Postby gamingchick » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:13 pm

Did you reaf it it means that the rain heals all And that everything will get better, its not emo that would be luke this

she left me
she left me

I hate my life

She left me

oh god i suck
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Re: Poetry: "Rain"

Postby LilyPichu » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:14 pm

If you hate it, why are you reading it? Kinda funny seeing you're anticipating Hasegawa's reaction, don't ya think? ^-^

Anyway, the poem was predictable, but I'm glad the rhythm wasn't off beat like some of those other emo things out there. Overall, it was an enjoyable read. I hope to see more poems; you definitely have the skills enough to experiment with various other genres.

Good job! ^^


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Re: Poetry: "Rain"

Postby Cascade » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:15 pm

It's okay. I kind of like ones with lots of allegories better.
I've noticed the problem with the majority of poems on this forum is that they just say things outright, and not force the viewer to read deeper into it. But at least the poem has a message.
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Postby gamingchick » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:16 pm

Frist post Pichu!!!!!
newblet!!!!
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Re: Poetry: "Rain"

Postby Cascade » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:20 pm

I really don't understand why people make such a big deal about poetry being "emo." Since Emo is generally considered to lack perspective and any sort of discernable talent or skill as a music genere, that would apply to bad poems. This one is okay.
For example, this poem could be considered "emo," in the sense that it is emotional, but it's way too good for that; after all, it was written by Edmund Spencer.

How long shall this like dying life endure,
And know no end of her own mystery:
But waste and wear away in terms unsure,
'Twixt fear and hope depending doubtfully?
Yet better were at once to let me die,
And show the last ensample of your pride:
Than to torment me thus with cruelty,
To prove your power, which I too well have tried.
But yet if in your hardened breast ye hide,
A close intent at last to show me grace:
Then all the woes and wrecks which I abide,
As means of bliss I gladly will embrace.
And wish that more and greater they might be,
That greater meede at last may turn to me.

Notice that the speaker is depressed because he's being mistreated by his lover. Poetry is only "emo" when it sucks. Saying that poetry has to be happy and not about love to be good is pathetically shallow, yet a lot of people online on this forum seem to think that way, even the smart ones.
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Re: Poetry: "Rain"

Postby Cali Defender » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:21 pm

Cascade wrote:It's okay. I kind of like ones with lots of allegories better.
I've noticed the problem with the majority of poems on this forum is that they just say things outright, and not force the viewer to read deeper into it. But at least the poem has a message.


Yeah, I have noticed that. Very Western style here...


Pretty Good job Rayven, Im not very good with poetry, so i aint got nothing more advanced to say but, it was good.
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Postby gamingchick » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:27 pm

no you guys got it wrong emo is about how life is stupid and how nothing is good not about emotions it means kill your self over wemon its not Dark its just bad!
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Postby Hasegawa Rayven » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:27 pm

gamingchick wrote:Did you reaf it it means that the rain heals all And that everything will get better, its not emo that would be luke this

she left me
she left me

I hate my life

She left me

oh god i suck


Actually this isn't that far from the truth.

Well let me rephrase that, the Emo poem thing sounding like that is completely correct

The Rain Poem is about someone who draws strength from the sound of the falling rain, but wishes for someone to fill emptiness for good.

not Emo, Might be close, but not quite Emo iin my opinion.
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Postby gamingchick » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:30 pm

thank you RAyven
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Re: Poetry: "Rain"

Postby Cascade » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:31 pm

Emo has expanded from the word that it originated from. It's not about emotion anymore, but about depression and immaturity. It also has the connotation of poor quality.
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Postby InsideTheAsylum » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:32 pm

Man... Goold ol' Bill was the original emo poem writer...

Bill Shakespeare wrote:When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
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Re: Poetry: "Rain"

Postby Cascade » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:36 pm

Look at Yeats. He got rejected by a chick and wrote a bunch of poems about it. But because he didn't suck, he isn't Emo. You have to be a bad poet to be Emo.

The Folly of Being Comforted

One that is ever kind said yesterday:
"Your well-beloved's hair has threads of grey,
And little shadows come about her eyes;
Time can but make it easier to be wise
Though now it seems impossible, and so
All that you need is patience."
Heart cries, "No,
I have not a crumb of comfort, not a grain.
Time can but make her beauty over again:
Because of that great nobleness of hers
The fire that stirs about her, when she stirs,
Burns but more clearly. O she had not these ways
When all the wild Summer was in her gaze."
Heart! O heart! if she'd but turn her head,
You'd know the folly of being comforted
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Postby LilyPichu » Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:17 am

gamingchick wrote:Frist post Pichu!!!!!
newblet!!!!


...Pardon? ^^;

- I agree with Cascade...emo does have a bad connotation attached to it, sadly, when it originated from 'emotional.'
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Postby Ex-Invader KAT » Sun Jun 12, 2005 2:53 pm

wow that poem is good, nice job Hasegawa Rayven!
personally I like that kind of poetry...to me its better then a subject of a happy bunny finding a carrot..then later not saying it got hit by a car..but thats just me!
I like killing people wanna be my friend?

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