htraE (Story)

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htraE (Story)

Postby Fellguarde » Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:33 pm

Firstly, this is not a fanfic. This is a story I decided to post here that I based on my dreams. Don't be fooled by the beginning; the freaky stuff is on the way.

[center]htraE[/center]

Scratch.

Scratch.

Scratch.

Scribble. The collective resonance of pencil upon paper, grinding away the hours as well as lead, filled the classroom almost like the threatening buzzing of hornets. Well, not quite like that. The buzzing of hornets suggested danger, it suggested adrenaline and excitement. Pens were images of boredom, their grating sound one of dull repetition.

A multitude of heads hung over the rows of wooden desks, each one hiding a face full of pure resentment for the dreary position. The humming of pens was becoming rhythmic, becoming a beat. It was almost alive, almost a sentient thing that previously dwelled dormant, bogged down in the mind. It was the song of progress.

Mr. Elson liked the song of progress. It was the sign of a good, respectable class in their final year, each one working with utmost silence, save for the sound of good old progress. This was what made his day, when it became clear that he was doing his job properly, sculpting and twisting these young creatures who raged with the power of their hormones and turning them into efficient parts of the great social machine. A clean, sparkling and glorious machine that ran like clockwork.

Order. It was his calling.

Scribble.

But what’s this? Chaos in his classroom, his domain. A violent storm amongst still seas. There’s always one harbinger of chaos in every class, always at least one that simply cannot stop themselves in the ruination of both order and their own future, spiralling downwards in a self-destructive circle. Mr. Elson, being the corporate machine that he was, hated them, he loathed them with a burning passion. These were thoughtless insects, disrupting the lives of others as they hovered annoyingly and went about their insignificant ways. They were the leeches of mankind, creatures that would never amount to anything or do anything of great consequence, besides perhaps hindering others.
Clothed in a sharp, efficient grey suit, the blonde haired and harsh-faced teacher rose from his seat of power like a government official about to issue a death penalty.

Scribble.

He paced the gum-clean floor, eyes staring across busy desks like those of a predator animal, a sinister vulture looking for a creature to pick upon. And like any good scavenger, it found one.

Hart. Ridiculous name for a ridiculous boy, a boy who thought piercings and black clothes were cool. Gabriel Hart, a pathetic specimen. He was smart, yes, but not in the correct way. He questioned things, corrected things. He argued, he talked back and worst of all, he was always, always right. It made Mr. Elson sick. This young man was worthless, he was a disruption destined to be a nobody. Any good teacher will tell that a smart student is far harder to teach in an orderly fashion than a stupid one.

He even appeared outrageous. Silvery white hair, he wore it long and straight in a terribly feminine fashion. Bloody girly kid. Mr. Elson had never questioned whether Gabriel died his hair or not, and frankly it didn’t matter because he would disapprove either way, but young Hart was in fact a curious albino. He was obsessed with black, it was because of all that moronic rock music, and he wore only that shade. Made him look even paler than he was. Dark leather, a jacket to be exact, and jeans to match. At least the boy wore a shirt, even if it was black. But the chains, the teacher hated them. They hung and looped across his clothes like a web of silver, the numerous rings and piercings such as one in the web of his fingers and left ear complimenting them with their metallic glint. Queer kid, he needed to lean some social values. He was thin too, with a rather lithe and lean build that made it even easier for Mr. Elson to hate him as the teacher’s body began to succumb to age.

Unthinkable to Mr. Elson was that this misguided young fool could be popular if he wanted. He had fair, angular features not far from being angelic, and somehow his pale skin seemed almost radiant.

“Hart!â€
Last edited by Fellguarde on Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:35 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Lord and Master » Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:38 pm

Nice.
Shockro wrote:Theme song
Lord and Master, he's such a bastard but when a girl's in trouble he'll be there on the double.
Lord and Master, he's the one! Who will be shunned in the great land of fun.
Repeat**
Lord and Master, he's such a bastard but when a girl's in trouble he will be there on the double
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Postby InterimOfZeal » Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:01 am

I haven't read it yet, but I'm assuming you made the title by spelling Earth backwards?
Dave wrote:wait... bobsagat is asian? Really? When did THIS happen?

Jay wrote:A horrible accident during an audition halved the length of his penis.
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Postby thejester220 » Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:52 am

OMG is that all you guys can say about this?!

ITS AMAZING! I love your work!!! Keep it up and post more, its Awesome! <3 Thanks for posting!!!
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Postby Mr. Noia » Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:12 pm

I agree with "I want your baby" over here ^, it's a good story. You could continue this, but I wonder if it would still be as interesting. After a few pages of half-emo writing it becomes a little, well, itchy and annoying I guess.

anyway, that is some nice story you got there, be proud of it :)
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Postby Spike » Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:56 pm

Ahhh it was awesome ^__^ I regret that I didn't get a chance to read it earlier but time is always such a luxury :3

It really is awesome work, I love the descriptions and similes (and contradicted similes XD) and how the point of view flows pretty seemlessly from the teacher to Gabriel, and that influences a change in language :)

My only crit is that one "dyes" his hair, not "dies" ;) And that's my *only* crit.

Please do write more for us :D
***
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Re: htraE (Story)

Postby Fellguarde » Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:07 pm

Thanks for all the positive feedback. And yes, htraE is Earth backwards.

[center]~[/center]

[center]Round and round and round and round and round and round the roundabout goes! Round and round and round and round…[/center]

And it stops.

[center]Wakie wakie, sleepyhead.
Look, Woof woof! I’m a cat![/center]

Fathomless senses, deep down below rational thought and intelligence buzzed to life in the darkness. Wakefulness stirred, feeling washed through pale flesh and vitalized the skin. Sound returned, gently humming in Gabriel’s ears like the chorus of evening insects. The mouth opened to reveal a blob of silver that marred the tongue with it’s inviting shine, glittering in the light.

Gabriel groaned dozily, his eyelids flittering half open and closing again when they met an angry stare. There was an angry eye, a furious eye staring down at him through the heat. And it burned to stare it, it stung. A pale hand rose to nurse his forehead, parting a few stray stands of silver hair that had fallen over the albino’s face. He moaned to himself once more as a slight breeze blew past. It was still warm, but no longer pleasant. Now it was harsh and uncaring, and it reminded him of feeble breath. It was like a wheeze. It felt withered.

He opened his eyes again. The terrible eye was still there, glaring balefully down as he squinted upwards. The youth tilted his head to the side, lolling lazily. The eye followed. Rational thought began to seep back, the temperamental eye once again became recognizable as the orange globe of burning gas that hung watchfully amongst the clouds. Gabriel shielded his eyes from the sun as he rose on one side, his free arm propping him up as he tried to ignore the beating pulse that pumped and thundered through his skull.

Realization struck. He hadn’t dreamed. For the first time in… in ever, Gabriel hadn’t seen the shattered dreams, the disjointed images and the words that he could never remember. He chuckled, pushing himself further to his feet, still standing shakily as he looked down at the ground.

His hand reached out, plucking up the sketch board and bringing it closer to his angular face. The drawing was barely recognizable as a human, just a few lines in the right places. But it was there, an image was there. The letters though… he squinted; they were barely readable and something was wrong with them. He couldn’t see what, but there was something fundamentally strange about the assortment of scribbles.

“h-t-r-a-Eâ€
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Postby InterimOfZeal » Fri Jun 10, 2005 1:05 am

Interesting thus far. ^^
Dave wrote:wait... bobsagat is asian? Really? When did THIS happen?

Jay wrote:A horrible accident during an audition halved the length of his penis.
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Postby thejester220 » Fri Jun 10, 2005 1:16 am

Mr. Dutch wrote:I agree with "I want your baby" over here ^,


Hey.. ... :-P and thats all i have to say




Wow the story is coming together wonderfully. I cant wait for the next installment ^^;
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