My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

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My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby GridsNaranek » Thu May 26, 2005 7:32 am

Hi all.

I started this for Bleed a few days ago and he said it'd be fine if I let you guys see it, too. It's from Doc X's perspective and is set a short while before PPGD chapter 1. I'm breaking it into parts so you can leave your comments as I go.

Here we are...

The Perfect Little Girl


Black Eden...


I never imagined everything coming to this. I should have never put forward my offer to Vexus...

You may call me X. I, like many other individuals bent on domination, have become tired of the many hapless fools who believe they can oppose the powers of good in this world. They try to bring the heroes down, but only succeed in getting humiliated, thrown in prison, or killed. I am not like those people. I choose to think before acting, to plan my advances on global peace. That is my method. And, sadly, that has resulted in myself forming an alliance with the Cluster, a collective of rather vile species run by its Queen, bent on domination as much as I am, and the Tallest, a rather impish race whose hierarchy is determined by whoever is greatest in height. The Cluster's representitives, a selection of individuals going by the name of the... Darkstar Council, will be arriving on Earth in a few days. They are mostly from a race known as the Kainsword, but there is one member who is a young human girl. How she became a member of this Council I do not know, nor do I care. There are far greater problems at this time...

I stood up from my desk, and stared at the various viewscreens around my lab. It was a quiet place. Too quiet, almost. Thankfully, with the arrival of the Council and the Irken representitive, things will pick up around here. Or maybe sooner. You see, I have been busy with my science, and I am very proud of my latest project.
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Postby Mauser » Thu May 26, 2005 12:40 pm

Awsome man, but I'm curious is that ganna be part of the comic or is it just your thing?
Last edited by Mauser on Thu May 26, 2005 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Mandy » Thu May 26, 2005 1:14 pm

coolness
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby Mr. Froggy » Thu May 26, 2005 1:39 pm

This is really good, nice work.
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Postby GridsNaranek » Thu May 26, 2005 4:57 pm

This is just a little thing of my own, but I said Bleed can use it in the doujin if he wants.

Also, I'd like to thank PPGD Freak for that all important link. This fic would never have happened if he hadn't shown us that art...

Next bit:

One cannot underestimate the power of the world's superheroes. There are many out there. The Justice League. The Teen Titans. The Power Rangers, if you can call them superheroes... But the most powerful heroes can come in the strangest of forms. The heroes with the greatest potential, I have observed are a trio of little kids. Girls, to be precise. Kindergarteners from the city of Townsville. Townsville's in California, I think... In any case, they have potential behind them. Much potential. Unlike other superheroes they are blessed with a unique ingredient within them. It is referred to as Chemical X, which is a rare and unstable element with dormant subatomic power. Essentially, should its true power be properly unleashed, not even the girls themselves could control them. If they realise this power while they are still young, they will destroy themselves. For someone like myself, that is a good thing, but for anyone unfortunate to be within 600 miles of them it wouldn't be. These little monsters are the Powerpuff Girls, dedicated to the protection of their city and the world as they knew it.

I am dedicated to the destruction of these girls. I have been busy constructing this lair of mine, which I have named 'Black Eden'. It is separate from the real world, in an underrealm which not many know of. The perfect place for me to lie in wait. These girls have been a hidrance to my plans of global domination. I have long wanted to take over this world, set its direction straight. There was a time when I wouldn't hurt a fly. Then...that day all those years ago...
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Postby Lord and Master » Thu May 26, 2005 5:24 pm

That is real cool
Shockro wrote:Theme song
Lord and Master, he's such a bastard but when a girl's in trouble he'll be there on the double.
Lord and Master, he's the one! Who will be shunned in the great land of fun.
Repeat**
Lord and Master, he's such a bastard but when a girl's in trouble he will be there on the double
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby Janana » Thu May 26, 2005 8:14 pm

This is getting good. ^_^
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Postby GridsNaranek » Fri May 27, 2005 1:17 am

Glad you all like it. I bet you can guess what he's up to...

Added after 30 seconds:

I'll update again in a few hours

Added after 4 hours 36 minutes:

Next update. Don't forget to leave your comments, ;)

I watched the viewscreens, monitoring the actions of one of my puppets, a boy by the name of Mandark Astonominov. He has been in pain recently, for only a few days ago his love was killed. Her name was Deedee. He had sunken into a great depression, and was perfect as far as unsuspecting victims went. I couldn't reach him yet, however. That's where my latest project came in. The viewscreen changed for me, showing a black-haired man smoking a pipe, reading a newspaper.

Utonium.
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby PPGD Freak » Fri May 27, 2005 7:19 am

This is a very nice series you have so far. Keep it up!
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby Joker-Undead » Fri May 27, 2005 8:06 am

Griddles, Are you planning to do a part about How Samantha joined the Darkstar Council?
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby Al Calnos » Fri May 27, 2005 11:18 am

Hm, interresting...go on
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Postby Mauser » Fri May 27, 2005 11:25 am

this kicks total ass
I am NOT insane!

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Postby GridsNaranek » Fri May 27, 2005 7:20 pm

Well, I had actually considered doing a sequel to this, but if I had a bit more information on Samantha's joining of the Council (I'm aware she sold her soul or something similar) then sure, I'll give it a go. I'm also working on chapter 2 of the Doujin, so I might post them up here, aswell. Bleed gave me permission personally!

On with the show:

The man I had hated for all these years. He was the creator of the three girls, the accidental father of the three titans. He had been clumsy, knocking a vial of X into the concoction of Sugar, Spice and All Things Nice. Next thing he knew, the girls were born, and he was one of the most famous scientists of this century. All because he had been careless. he had wanted the perfect little girl, and had gotten three. HAH! He knows nothing about what the perfect little girl is.

I, however...
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Postby Joker-Undead » Sat May 28, 2005 2:36 am

Griddles wrote:Well, I had actually considered doing a sequel to this, but if I had a bit more information on Samantha's joining of the Council (I'm aware she sold her soul or something similar) then sure, I'll give it a go. I'm also working on chapter 2 of the Doujin, so I might post them up here, aswell. Bleed gave me permission personally!

On with the show:

The man I had hated for all these years. He was the creator of the three girls, the accidental father of the three titans. He had been clumsy, knocking a vial of X into the concoction of Sugar, Spice and All Things Nice. Next thing he knew, the girls were born, and he was one of the most famous scientists of this century. All because he had been careless. he had wanted the perfect little girl, and had gotten three. HAH! He knows nothing about what the perfect little girl is.

I, however...


It might be that Samantha has a grauge on Timmy Turner because he had it easy will Wanda and Cosmo, and Samantha did not. So she wants pay-back. What do you think?
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Postby GridsNaranek » Sat May 28, 2005 2:39 am

Oh, thank god, a comment! I can update now, woohoo!

Kainsword, I'll take your idea into consideration. While I'm not sure about FGP, maybe someone destroys her Peppercat and she is offered more power than she could possibly imagine by the Council so she joins.

Anyways, next bit!

I turned away from the viewscreen, deciding to check up on my work. It had been in progress for a long time now, but today was the day, I felt.

"Computer. Lab Entrance." I ordered.

A section of the darkness parted, and a stream of pue white light spread into the lair of Black Eden. My multiple eyes squinted, but I rapidly got used to the brightness. I stepped into the passageway, which would lead me to the realm of my greatest achievement. It was stark contrast to Black Eden, which was where I generally lingered. I was not one for light. Darkness was much more comfortable. However, light was fitting for this occaision.

The corridor widened into a small room, which was empty except for one large round, collum-like structure built into the far wall. Behind it was the one thing that mattered more to me at the moment than anything else. Not the Powerpuffs, not the Darkstar Council, and not those pitiful Irkens. Within the chamber was my greatest creation. Utonium indeed knows nothing about how to create and design. For within this alcove was the one true perfect little girl.
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Postby Doujinshi X.2 » Sat May 28, 2005 5:03 am

Cool ^_^
I am
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And older Mandys body guard.(And i put lotion on her legs)

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Postby GridsNaranek » Sat May 28, 2005 5:06 am

"Computer, open the alcove." I ordered. The machine whirred in reply, before the collmun parted from the centre and opened out sideways with a loud, prolonged hiss. I gazed into the area within, and I saw her.

The girl's eyes were closed, as though she was asleep. In effect, she was, for she had never awoken before. For months now I had slaved away, day upon day, night upon night, to bring this girl into reality. I had tried before with another girl, whom I had named Barasia. However, she did not survive the awakening process, and was long gone. However, I had made some changes, and I was certain that this one would live.

Added after 23 seconds:

Hope you all are still liking this
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Postby Kratos » Sat May 28, 2005 7:30 pm

So wait, cool bell has made a landing....so Bell is not human, am i wrong?
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Postby GridsNaranek » Sat May 28, 2005 7:35 pm

We don't know. In Bleed's original idea she was a synthetic gynoid, but we don't know if that's the case in the doujin yet. Some cases actually point toward her being a real person.

Next bit. And remember, leave your comments so I can continue posting, otherwise the forum doesn't recognise it as a new post.

Her partially assembled body was held in place by clamp arms attached to the back of the alcove. Her arms were oustretched to the sides, her fists clenched, her left arm drawn slightly back as a soldering iron worked at her shoulder joint. Her arms were segmented, much like the older mechas such as the Nevada-based XJ9 model. Her fingers were independently jointed to her wrists, capable of free movement, yet many times stronger than human fingers. Her torso was currently being operated on by a welder, putting the final touches on the inner plating. Artificial skin, made of a latex-like material, would be used to cover her body once the assembly process had been completed.

Her body was incomplete, both her legs not yet attached. The computer was at work preparing them separately. The legs would provide much strength and agility, and would also be useful weapons in a fight. The internal circuitry had to be perfect, or else she would be immobilised at the slightest fault. Thankfully, simulation tests had shown that this wiring would withstand the test of time, requiring only an hour of recharging, once a month.
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby Snake Chomper » Sun May 29, 2005 1:12 am

Thank you for the comment, I thought I would hit you back. Your fanfic is good, its always fun to see the comic through someone else's perspective, kind of like that graphic novel where the feats of superheroes were seen through the eyes of ordinary people. I would really like to see this continue.

And also, how did you get in touch with the Bleedman? After I roll through some more chapters on my own fic, I'd like to speak to him and see if he'd read it and maybe stick in some of my OCs in the comic.

Thanks again, and never stop writing.
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Re: My fanfiction: The Perfect Little Girl

Postby GridsNaranek » Sun May 29, 2005 4:34 am

Thanks for the comment, SC. I simply emailed him. He replied twice within the same day, and all things considered I thought that was pretty good. Whilst some people wish to discourage me from writing, it is one of my favourite past-times.

And, and shall continue! Onward...

I watched a tiny needle-like devices implanted into the girl's skull, before pulling out again with silvery-white strands of hair trailing them. Dozens of the little syringes poked into her head, implanting the hair strands, almost too fast for me to see. The thousands upon thousands of gossamer threads appeared together, creating a beautiful long wave of hair. More strands were injected above the forehead, which would form a fringe. The injectors pulled upwards, her hair suspended above her. It all happened so fast.

"Computer, progress?"

"Three minutes until final assembly." The androgynous voice responded instantly. I thrived off promptness.

Added after 3 hours 1 minutes:

The dozens of thick cables connecting the girl to the main computer processor snaked across her unfinished form, some detaching and coiling up, others descending down from the roof of the alcove and attaching themselves to her body, feeding her her lifeblood, or electrical power in this case.

She wasn't an android, to be precise, she was a gynoid. That was the proper name. She was my creation. In a way, I was her father. Even though she would never be a real human, I would do anything for her. Someone once told me that, despite all the successes we have, all the achievements we make, and all the progress we amount, it meant very little. It was the children that were the real legacy. It was passing on the tradition to the next generation. With my girl here, that would be possible for me. She would never grow old, never lose sight of my plan. Even when I am gone and this world is hers, she would always remember me. And I, her. This was my child. I shall call her... Bell.
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Postby Kratos » Sun May 29, 2005 4:47 pm

Yet again nice job!
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Postby GridsNaranek » Sun May 29, 2005 5:02 pm

Cheers! Next bit:

The two legs were raised into place, the right one first followed shortly by the left. They attached themselves to the joints at the base of Bell's body, where tiny interlocking grids connected them together. They fitted together snugly, and a small hiss made sure they were on tight. The left leg connected just the same, the girl overall resembling a young child of 7 or 8. How remarkable science could be!

I realise that by creating her, she is not a real person. Do you think that matters to me? Honestly, anything that can be smart enough to understand its own existence, anything sentient, man, machine or otherwise, was a form of life. Bell would be one of those creatures, despite the fact that her bones were a compound alloy, her brain was a positronic circuit matrix, and her heart was a multi-exabyte cerebral processor. She was as real as any human, yet infinitely superior. However, as a child I wanted her to be as lifelike as possible, so I had her programmed that way. She would live.... think.... act like a human child. I hope she realises and experiences the full power of her ability. I hope she one day finds a companion to play with, to share jokes, to cuddle and look after. I hope one day she trips and falls, grazing her knee and relying on me to make her feel better. I hope that one day... one day...

I hope one day she would meet those three girls...

And kill them.
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Postby Mauser » Sun May 29, 2005 8:05 pm

keep going dude, this is good.
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Postby GridsNaranek » Mon May 30, 2005 2:49 am

Will do!

Multiple nozzles positioned themselves around her now-complete body. When they were all stationed where they needed to be, they released a fine spray of a brown-pink substance, which collected on her robotic body. The latex molded into place, creating skin. She now had every feature of a little girl, the cheeks, the lips, the naval, the buttocks, everything. The hair injectors released her follicles, which fell into place, a waterfall of white streaming down her back and a slightly spiky fringe falling over her eyes. The injectors swooped down again and dotted across the spaces above her eyes, creating her eyebrows, and then across her eyelids to create the lashes. It was all so perfect.
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