Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Fri Jan 11, 2013 12:01 pm

AN: For this next part that includes the antagonist it get's a little rated R nothing to descriptive but . . . yeah. So you've been warned.

. . . . Meanwhile, in a small village in sector 4. “Those foolish ninja, to think that they believe the Utopia to be so easily stopped. There are followers of the Utopia across Banju.” Nakamaru chuckled to himself. He was in the largest building in the village. Most of the houses were made from wood and other materials, it was a farming village with rows of rice fields that sat along the outskirts of the village. The field was flooded from a recent rain, the rice sat on the top of the water untouched. The Horde had taken over the village, and killed off all those who could and would resist them.

This meant all the men, children were kept for labor, most of the women would be used to relieve the men of . . . stress. The building Nakamaru rested in had once been the meeting hall. He took a sip from a wooden goblet that had just been filled by a woman, she wore nothing more than a top and underwear. She looked uncomfortable, and disgusted with herself. Nakamaru sat upright in a bed in the room that used to be the office of the village leader. Out the window next to the bed, a flame roared with the burning desk that once sat in the office, the fire contained the remains of the rebellious men as well. The woman now sat on the floor with her legs folded into her chest her arms wrapped around them, she cried as she thought about her inevitably grim future. All the while Nakamaru sipped on the drink in his cup, watching the woman. He looked away, rolling his eyes, smirking saying, “You cry as though your life had been filled with bliss, in this decrepit village. I'm aware of the kind life you lived here, always teased and taunted by others because of your beauty. Made to think that you were ugly because those lesser than you were jealous. Your low self esteem made you an easy target for your drunkard of a father.”

Nakamaru faced the girl once again, the rays of the afternoon sun snuck into the dim room, the light reflected off of his eyes and onto the forehead of the woman. “Your mother died giving birth to you, but to him you looked so much like her as you grew up. I suppose it was inevitable, after all a husband is supposed to make love to his wife.” Panic shot on the girl's face as she stood up, “Shut up! You don't know anything, stop just . . . stop please!” She leaned against the wall as she covered her ears and shook her head furiously as though it would stop the memories from replaying in her mind, tears ran down her face. Nakamaru got out of the bed and walked toward the woman, he pulled her hands away from her ears and whispered to her while she wept. The woman kept her head down, she refused to look Nakamaru in the face, but she didn't fight him when he moved her arms, I am very familiar with the sufferings of others, I can tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”

He released one of her hands, he raised his toward the roof panning his hand from left to right as he continued. Utopia, that is the place where you belong, a place where the few strong aren't brought down by the many weaklings in the world. A place of complete peace and prosperity where there is no suffering. Will you come with me or stay here and rot? Nakamaru turned away from the woman as he let go of her hand, the woman's crying stopped. She pondered the words that Nakamaru said to her and thought about where her life was going if she stayed in the village “Is it. . . will I really be prosperous in this utopia?” Nakamaru looked slyly over his shoulder at the woman saying “ Of course you will be, as long as your with me that is.” Hearing that the woman slowly walked behind Nakamaru and grabbed his hand. He faced her as she began to pull him back toward the bed. “Yes, my dear you will do well in Utopia, quite well.” Nakamaru's words faded out under the sound of lips touching.
"He who expects nothing shall never be let down."

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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:03 pm

A few hours passed, Benimaru enters the meeting hall. He was welcomed to nodding heads, and a room full of sexual activity. Benimaru frowned at the sight, he loved women, but there was something missing at the village entrances. One of the men in a deep sweat pounded away into a young girl bent over a table, from her face she was clearly an adolescent, her mature body hid this fact. The blood running down her leg and tears that rained down her face, that pleaded for mercy did not, she must have been very vocal about her virginity, because she was gagged. The sight of this further annoyed Benimaru, and the minion speaking to him as he watched “You want some. . Benimaru, this thing is tight. . boy I tell you.

Right and tight, hahahahaaa!” The idiot said through heavy breaths sweat swathed across his and the girls body. If only he had known what would come next, he probably would have never been in the meeting hall to begin with. Benimaru paced quickly toward the unsuspecting man, the man wore a stupid look on his face as his tongue hung out of his mouth. Benimaru stepped into the man who politely stepped out of the girl as he thought Benimaru was to take his place, his tongue still out of his mouth. Benimaru ducks slightly before slamming the palm of his hand against the mans chin, his teeth smash into each other with a snap. His tongue dances along the dusty floor, the man's head comes down as his knees buckle and he sits there in shock, he grabs his tongue, blood spills from his closed mouth. The man yells, incoherent sounds are heard coming from him. Tears fall from his eyes as he reaches up towards Benimaru, blood pouring out of his mouth. Benimaru turns away from him in revolt. The girl stands as she tries to scurry away her panties lay around her ankles, she bumps Benimaru in her retreat.

He violently grips her hair as he throws her to the ground near the tongueless thug “Why is there no one guarding the village, or my brother for that matter?!” The room fell silent before Benimaru spoke, but now the sounds of many moving about as the men attempted to correct their error. “No, don't go now, no now you must receive punishment. For in order for Utopia to work there must be full commitment to the cause, and a part of being committed is making sure that the one that will lead us to Utopia is protected. Now line up !” Reluctantly, they all lined up they ultimately had no choice they either take their licks or get killed for refusing. Nakamaru had awoken to the sound of his brother's yelling, he looked out the window as he sat on the side of the bed. The sun was close to setting, it was much later in the day now, dinner time. He felt a hand creep across his shoulder and onto his chest as the woman caressed his mid section while laying her head on his shoulder. “Is there anything wrong Nakamaru-sama?”

The woman asked sweetly. Nakamaru kissed the hand that was stroking his chest saying “I am a bit hungry, but it can wa. . .” before he could finish the happily hopped out of the bed and almost made it to the door, but Nakamaru grabbed her hand saying “Not at this moment Nanako, it would be painfully unwise of you to go down stairs right now.“ the woman sat next to Nakamaru on the bed. “But, why Nakamaru-sama?”asked the girl confused. He looked upon her gorgeous face as he raised her chin with his hand. His attention soon turned toward the door “Soon, the reason will be in this room and you will then know why.” A few moments passed, the door to the office flew open. A heavy shadow hid all but the eyes of Benimaru, he wore a look strong to bring heart attacks to the elderly. “What are you doing doing brother?”

Benimaru questioned as he stared at Nanako. The look on the face of Benimaru unnerved Nanako as she buried her head in Nakamaru's chest. “I'm winning hearts and minds brother,” he stood and began to walk toward his brother, arms open. Nanako fell onto the bed and curled up among the sheets. “Now tell me how did things go with the fish we caught?” The brothers hugged lovingly as they released each other, Benimaru stepped into the room. His features now less ominous, Nanako moved the sheets away from from her face. Benimaru began undressing himself, Nakamaru sat on the bed again. While Benimaru undressed he continued his report “It got away, it would seem are fisherman was only good enough to delay are prey ,luckily the nest had already been moved at that point.” Benimaru now sat on the other side of the bed, he was nude. Nanako sat upright as she raised an eyebrow in confusion, she began to reach for Nakamaru “Don't touch me, until you've eased my brother's weariness. Do you understand? This is my brother, my only brother to whom I share all that I own, and to him I am the same.” Nanako retracted her hand with a look of sorrow on her face. “But, Nakamaru-sama. .“ Her words fade as Benimaru grabs her throat pulling her toward himself. “Do not fret, my brother we may have missed are prey this time but it will not stop us, their failure is our success..”

As Nakamaru spoke his brother lay on top of Nanako in the thralls of passion, he gripped her neck tightly choking her, Nanako gasped for air. Benimaru inserted himself into Nanako who attempted to resist as she pushed him away and pulled at his fingers that constricted her breathing. This only served to excite Benimaru as he began to give her long powerful thrusting, a vile grin reached across his face. Nanako felt no pleasure, only pain, tears began to escape the corner's of eyes as the feeling increased and breathing became became less frequent. “Soon brother the entire Banju will be ours, the hidden village has already learned that they are not untouchable. Are reach expands across the entire island” Benimaru spoke in rhythm with his moving hips. Nanako felt her arms going numb as they dropped to her side she could no longer fight him off, light began to fade from her eyes. Nakamaru looked over his shoulder and laid a hand on his brother's arm “By the way Benimaru, do not break my way new toy.” A grave expression lay on the face of Nakamaru a, rare sight. Benimaru met the eyes of his brother with his own, he released her neck, coughing, she began breathing again.
"He who expects nothing shall never be let down."

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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:33 pm

. . . Evening in Banjugakure, Kyo was reunited with the remaining member's of his squad. He had told everything he knew about the enemy to the Heikokage. None of which mentioned anything about the location of multiple bases. “I'm sorry I wasn't able to give you more information milady, but that was all we were able to acquire before we were spotted.” Kyo said as his voiced wavered from sadness, the memory of Yagi's death replayed itself in his mind. Asa stood in front of her new window that looked just like the old one. Her back to Kyo, she heard the sorrow in his voice, her heart went out to him. Having to live with the fact of never seeing your student surpass you or having students of their own, it was a heavy burden to bear.

“I'm sorry for your loss Kyo, but, I don't want you to let the thought of revenge eat away at you. It would be unfair to the remaining members of your team and I'm sure that Yagi wouldn't want that either. The message you've given me has helped come to a decision. I want all of you to take care of yourselves, you are dismissed.” We began exiting the room, the Heikokage began to speak once more, “I will send for you and your squad at a later time, Hien.” Hien was the last to exit the room as he nodded closing the large doors behind himself. The five of us stood outside the office in silence as if paying are respects to those who had fallen to the Horde. “I want you to write this down.” said the Heikokage as she gestured to her assistant. “This is to be sent to the Douketsukage and the Kazankage.

Tell them, because of the recent actions of the terrorist group known as the Horde on Banjugakure. Our original idea of maintaining an experimental allied squadron will have to be changed to an official joint team. Wherein several other joint teams will need to be made as soon as possible to quell the rising terrorist scourge. This threat not only affects Banju but will also touch the shores of their islands as well or may already have. If the menacing group is not put down with the combined forces of Teisei, Banju and Chi we can be sure that a rift will begin to form in are newly created bond.” Asa stopped midway through her declaration, to look out toward her humble village. Her eyes swelled with tears when she took in the sight of the damaged street and the open spaces where homes once stood. Remembering the people, the children not spared from the wrath of the vile Horde. Asa began to cry openly as she placed her hand on the window that looked out onto her beloved village. She slammed her fist against the window in anger like a child she felt powerless to protect her village. . . In are new hotel room, night time of the second day.

As soon as we made it back to our new rooms, within the hidden village, I made it my business to avoid Suri. I didn't feel like hearing what she might say to me, seeing how she didn't get the chance before. Suzaku came and rested on my head, as he often liked to do. I fed him leftover food from dinner, as I lie there looking into the stars, I wondered what my grandfather was doing. How was my little sister coming in her training, I smiled a little when I thought about how much she wanted to come with me. She tried everything from pouting to pleading with Dad, then I thought about my mother and how critical she is of my abilities, the thought annoyed me. I sat up, Suzaku hovered above my head and resumed his spot on the top of my head. “But, Sensei!” It was loud enough to catch my attention, I slowly walked across the roof toward the window where the sound came from. I leaned over the edge closer to the window.

“This is a big deal Sensei, you need to slow down. If you keep over using it you could completely lose your memory.” It was Corrine's voice. I was left with a guess as to what she was referring to. “I'm well aware of the consequences, this isn't the time for me to be concerned about myself not with everything that's going on.” Hien, I'd know his voice anywhere, Mr. Cool. “But, Sensei I don't want you to forget about me.” I could hear Corrine's voice shake as she spoke. Why would she be crying, how would he forget about her? I sat up and contemplated what I had overheard with my eyes closed, to my surprise Suri was face to face with me when I reopened them. I jumped to my feet, Suzaku quickly shot into the sky like a bullet. Suri blinked at me curiously before saying ”What kind of bird was that?” I had know idea how long she had been there watching, I forgot about how good she was at sneaking.

Which begged the question, why was she so good at sneaking up on other ninja? “Uhm, what bird are you talking about?” Bad lie. Suri raised an eyebrow at my words saying, “I saw the bird Genkei, is it your pet or something? You know Corrine was the one who mentioned something about it to me.” She continued on, I stopped listening. I couldn't believe that Corrine knew about Suzaku to. I suppose it was only a matter of time though, keeping secrets from those eyes is close to impossible. “Genkei, . . . Genkei?” Her voice cut into my thoughts “What?” I said as I looked at her. She was closer than before, I felt my face starting to get hot. “I never got the chance to thank you for saving me while we were in the forest earlier today.” she said while clumsily fumbling with her fingers. I'm not sure if she was doing it on purpose, but her breast seemed to be closing in on me. My heart was leaping out of my chest I didn't know what to say.

I turned my back to her, Suzaku flew between the two of us his body started glowing. “It's no big deal, I don't know. . .” I was blown off the roof and unable to finish my sentence. I stood up and dusted myself off, then I began to panic I saw multiple shadows jumping toward the hotel. I peeked around the back corner of the building, a group from the police force had appeared to investigate. Of course they would. Suzaku, I sighed I must have alarmed him with my anxiety, I hope Suri's alright. “I don't like that stupid bird of yours, why would it do something like that?” Suri said as she walked toward me with her hair puffed out from the blast. I laughed a little, “What's so funny?” Suri said blushing in embarrassment.
"He who expects nothing shall never be let down."

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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Thu Feb 21, 2013 1:30 pm

I would like some feed back to know that others are reading this and that I have others that are interested in this story. It makes it a lot easier if I feel that my work is being enjoyed so a "you suck" or "good job keep writing" would help. Im partly writing this for myself and for you the viewer but if I don't know how anyone feels about the story kinda makes me not want to post anymore of it, HERE that is. So if anyone likes the story and would like to see me continue to update it let me know otherwise I won't.
"He who expects nothing shall never be let down."

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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Birdofterror » Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:33 pm

I don't want to sound negative, but I guess I can explain why I've never gone about reading this before. I'm not a very big Anime Guy. Naruto probably being one of my most tolerated of animes, but that's not saying much.

So, in the most blunt yet truthful way to explain why I haven't been reading/commenting would be that I don't find the 'source material' interesting enough to see your own spin on it. Sorry. I'm sure there are some major Naruto fans on this forum somewhere, I'm just one of the only people who frequent the Literature forum... and I don't consider myself a fan, so the major fans are probably in other parts of the forum.

I.E. Not here.
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The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.
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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Blood Lord » Sat Feb 23, 2013 2:58 pm

I don't have an interest in Naurto, BUT I know there is a lot of other people on the site that are interested in Naruto. Something I would do if you wanted to get the results and reviews you are looking for, is to put a link to this thread in your signature and go participate more in the community. There is an Anime thread in the EA section, and Manga discussion thread in the general discussion.

If you get yourself out there, then more people are going to recognize you and lead to more people reading and commenting back onto your story.
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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Wed Feb 27, 2013 7:50 am

Birdofterror: Thank you for letting me know someone at least glances by and says hey I don't really care ofr it but im just giving you a shout out. I honestly appreciate it. All I wanted was for some air to hit my face to let me know others are at least breathing on my story.

Blood Archon: First off. . . you play Magic(Archon)? Secondly your prolly right, but I don't know how to put the link in my sig all nice and neat like. I will try this EA section that you speak of.
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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Blood Lord » Wed Feb 27, 2013 9:46 am

Dual Onoxxus wrote:Blood Archon: First off. . . you play Magic(Archon)? Secondly your prolly right, but I don't know how to put the link in my sig all nice and neat like. I will try this EA section that you speak of.

No. It's a protoss archon from Starcraft 2.


Code: Select all
[url=http://www.snafu-comics.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=54103]Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto[/url]


Its basically like this. The link is in the url bracket with an added equal sign, while your text is in between the brackets. Just copy it without the code brackets, modify the words, and stick it in your signature.
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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Sat Mar 02, 2013 11:12 am

ok I did it so proud of myself and also happy you helped me. That having been said, when you mentioned "EA" did you mean the Ever After forum?
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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Blood Lord » Sun Mar 03, 2013 2:55 pm

Yeah, its nicknamed EA.
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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Dual Onoxxus » Sat May 18, 2013 5:17 am

Sorry been gone a while Im deployed so yeah, fighting and stuff not always fun. friends dying anyway hope somebody remembers me and says hey.
"He who expects nothing shall never be let down."

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Re: Dual - Alternate Universe Naruto - Based on RP of same name

Postby Birdofterror » Sat May 18, 2013 10:42 am

Dual Onoxxus wrote:Sorry been gone a while Im deployed so yeah, fighting and stuff not always fun. friends dying anyway hope somebody remembers me and says hey.
We remember you- Hey. Stay strong out there, man. Be safe.
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