Sigment: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: On Hiatus

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Sigment: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: On Hiatus

Postby Sigment » Thu May 16, 2013 12:03 am

Kurosai Chronicles
Author: Sigment Kurosai
Rating: Teen (For language, and literary violence)

Just to clarify, the main character is not named after me, but the other way around. Now let's get started.
____________________________________________________________

Kurosai Chronicles Prologue: The Day That Would Change Everything

"You ready, Karra?"

"You bet!", she said with a smile, her long ears perking up in excitement. "I love Hide and Seek!" Every Saturday, they would do this. Despite the distinctly disapproving opinions of their parents, Sigment and Karra would travel to the fields to play games with each other. Each time, they would pick a different game to play; Hide and Seek, one-on-one Tag, you name it. This time, it was Karra's turn to hide.
...
Sigment found her in 27 seconds....

"Ooohhh, that was amazing! How did you find me?", she asked in awe.

"I guess I'm just lucky..." he said, while finishing under his breath, "...that you always giggle so much when you hide." He and Karra were both ten, and had known each other since they had been born in their two neighboring villages. However these villages were not just separated by distance. Karra's family, the Tsukina Demon clan presided over its race's village, while Sigment's family, the Kurosai clan, led its village of fellow Humans.

The fact was that, while Demons and Humans had been at peace for millennia, it was typically frowned upon for a Human and Demon to be in a relationship of any nature of this sort. The other children knew that Sigment had a friend that he played with every now and then, but beyond that he managed to keep the truth hidden. He could not say his friend was Human, as Karra's elongated ears were an obvious sign that she was a Demon, while the males of her race possessed two distinct horns just above their eyebrows, making it impossible on Karra's part to say her friend was a fellow Demon.

"Alright, let's go home, okay?", said Sigment.

"Why? We just got here!", Karra said with a frown.

"Yeah...", Sig said as he looked up to the sky, "but I don't like the looks of that storm..."

Despite being a little pouty, Karra did not argue, and headed back to her village, while Sigment took his way home. On his way, he noticed a tree that had fallen over. He wasn't sure what had caused it, as the storm hadn't even arrived yet. Looking closer, he realized that the tree had not fallen, but had actually been ripped out of the ground, roots and all. From the day he was six, he had been taught to pay careful attention to everything around him, and report strange activity to the elder: his father. Hurrying home, he ran through the village before arriving at his family's hut.

"Father!", he shouted, "Something's wrong!"

Slowly, his father approached him. "What is it, my son? What have you found?" Before Sigment could speak again, an explosion roared through the village, shaking the ground with the force of an earthquake and knocking the two of them down. Sigment and his father got up and looked outside. The boy couldn't believe what he was seeing: his village, his home, was engulfed in flames, and the people screamed as they all realized what was happening.

"The village is under attack?! But how...?", Said the elder, "Stay here, boy! I must protect our people!"

Sigment listened and stayed put, covering his ears to drown out the screams. As the boy sat and hid, he couldn't help but think to himself:
"Why is this happening?!"
"Who is doing this?!"
"Will everyone be okay?!"
These thoughts circled around in his mind until the hut was toppled over as if a boulder had slammed into it...
...

In the neighboring Demon village, word had arrived quickly of what was happening. Karra sat in her room, playing with her toys, while her parents and the other elders debated on whether or not to assist the Humans. The arguments continued to go back and forth...
"They are in danger! We must help them!"
"If we come to their aid, we put our own people in danger!"
"We cannot simply ignore them! We are Demons, not savages!"
"Yes, we are Demons! And they are Humans! It is not our concern what happens to them!"
The debate went on for several minutes, until the Elders came to a decision:
"As cold as it sounds, we cannot risk our people's safety to assist the Humans. We shall evacuate the village before whatever foe is attacking them has a chance to strike us."

Karra was combing one of her dolls' hair when her mother walked into the room.
"Karra, we are going to be leaving the village for some time."

"When will we come back?", the child asked, unaware of the unfolding events.

"I don't know, my darling..."

"Can I say goodbye to someone?", she pleaded, wanting to see her secret friend once more.

"I'm afraid there's no time, child." the mother said, picking up her daughter and preparing her to leave. The entire time, the girl wanted to ask what was happening, but the look in her mother's eyes made her too scared to say a word. Eventually, preparations were completed, and the villagers began to depart the area. Her mother held her as everyone traveled via horseback to leave the area. As her mother's horse reached the top of a hill, Karra looked back and saw a pillar of smoke. It took less than a second for her to realize where it was coming from. Her skin paled, she was unable to look away. As tears began to run down her cheeks, she uttered a single word under her breath...
"Sigment..."
...

"Sigment!"
The boy gasped as he regained consciousness. He looked back and forth before realizing what had happened. The pouring rain from the arriving storm had extinguished the fires. Immediately, he thought of only one thing.

"Father?! FATHER!!", he shouted, desperately craving an answer. He began to stand, and cried out in pain. His leg had been wounded when the hut collapsed. Slowly, he limped his way through the village. Tears ran down his face as he saw more and more corpses of his fellow villagers. Some were charred husks, but others... they appeared to have been ripped apart as if by a savage beast! As the boy looked in horror, he heard a sound behind him.

"Father...?", he nervously asked, only to hear a bloodthirsty growl behind him in response. He immediately turned around, not willing to die in the jaws of a beast, but he froze. In front of him was no mere beast, but a creature of unbelievable size. He couldn't see the beast itself, as night had come, and clouds had blacked out the moon. But he saw one thing for sure. He looked, and saw its eyes, staring into them, unable to move. They were fierce, almost feral, and glowed a color red as blood. Frozen in fear in front of the beast, he could only stand there as it struck him with its massive claws. The strike hit his face, cutting into his left cheek. The blow was strong enough to knock him into a nearby wall. Immobile and coughing up blood, Sigment couldn't think of anything except for the fear that was overwhelming him. Enveloped in pain, his vision began to blur. All of a sudden, the clouds let the moon shine through. The boy was on the verge of passing out, but under the light of the moon, his vision sharpened for only a moment. Looking up, the last thing he saw before falling unconscious was a wolf, the size of a grizzly, with shining white fur, slowly approaching him.
...

Over the next 10 years, more and more incidents of this nature occurred. First villages, then towns, and eventually even entire cities were destroyed in almost no time at all. There were no clues as to who was responsible, but over time, a pattern began to emerge. Among the tens of millions that had died, there was not a single Demon fatality. Every last individual killed was Human. The Human elements of government naturally took this as an indication that the attacks were orchestrated by Demons. As the accusations began to mount, tension between the two species climbed higher than ever before in recorded history. Despite everyone's efforts to find a culprit, there was only one perpetrator that was repeatedly identified: a beast bathed in the shadows of night. A wolf the size of a grizzly, with eyes red as blood.
...
_______________________________________________________

And that is the prologue! Hopefully you all will enjoy it, and I am open to your critiques. I'll have Chapter one out as soon as I can. The fact is, this story has been on my mind for some time, and I've been meaning to release it. So far, the story will consist of four main protagonists and one main antagonist. If you have any ideas for the story, don't hesitate to post!

EDIT: Changed a phrase or two to sound better.
MAJOR EDIT: Added a proper title and description.
Last edited by Sigment on Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:59 am, edited 7 times in total.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
"You've chosen your Answer. Now see it through." -Serene Haze
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Thu May 16, 2013 1:19 am

I've gone through and removed as many errors as I could find.

Also, for those of you who are curious: Sigment's last name "Kurosai", literally translated from Japanese, means "Black Rhino".
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
"You've chosen your Answer. Now see it through." -Serene Haze
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Birdofterror » Thu May 16, 2013 11:40 am

Whoa. I have to admit, it started off a little slow for me so I put off reading it all until now, but when I neared the middle I felt compelled to finish the rest! I only really found one problem too.
"Father...?", he nervously asked, only to hear a bloodthirsty growl behind him in response. He immediately turned around, not willing to die in the jaws of a beast, be he froze.
Now, when you say 'be he froze' do you mean 'But he froze?'

That's all. I look forward to more of your story, I mean it.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Thu May 16, 2013 12:04 pm

Birdofterror wrote:Whoa. I have to admit, it started off a little slow for me so I put off reading it all until now, but when I neared the middle I felt compelled to finish the rest! I only really found one problem too.
"Father...?", he nervously asked, only to hear a bloodthirsty growl behind him in response. He immediately turned around, not willing to die in the jaws of a beast, be he froze.
Now, when you say 'be he froze' do you mean 'But he froze?'

That's all. I look forward to more of your story, I mean it.

Fixed it. Thanks for the comment.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
"You've chosen your Answer. Now see it through." -Serene Haze
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Fri May 17, 2013 12:10 am

Break Time!
Kurosai Chronicles info post.
*I will do this between each chapter as often as I can*

It's time I got into a little bit of the backstory of the Chronicles...
Most importantly, contrary to what the prologue suggests, the year at the time of the prologue is 2005. The story takes place on an alternate Earth, one where (in case it wasn't obvious) Demons, as well as other supernatural creatures coexist with humanity. Technology as we mostly know it exists, but these two villages live in the more secluded areas of Japan, relying on traditions instead of new-world tech.

I plan to release Chapter One tomo- well, technically today...
Just remember, the story focuses on the events of the world from Sigment's perspective. But Good News: Karra Tsukina will return to the story in Chapter 3. Beyond that, my lips are sealed.
So come back soon, and catch Kurosai Chronicles Chapter One: Old Wounds and New Allies. Jikai made!

MAJOR EDIT: I have changed the year the prologue takes place from 2005 to 1995. This will in no way affect events to come. Trust me, it will make sense later... I hope.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Blood Lord » Fri May 17, 2013 7:16 pm

Interesting. I'll poke in every once and a while and look at it . I can understand why you wanted to make this into a comic. I'm doing some art work for another friend (eventually), but get back to me sometime with details of your characters and I'll attempt to draw them.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Fri May 17, 2013 9:14 pm

Alright! It's about time we continue on. Hopefully any questions you will have regarding this chapter will be answered come next Break Time. So without further ado, here's Chapter One!

______________________________________________________

Kurosai Chronicles

Chapter One: Old Wounds and New Allies

He couldn't believe his eyes. He was home again. Without thinking, he ran towards his hut. Step by step, he approached the shōji door until, just as he touched the door, it happened. The hut erupted with fire, sending him flying back down the stairs to the ground. Getting up, his eyes widened as each building around him followed suit, until the entire area was bathed in fire. The fires seemed to come alive and circle him over and over again. Then, the flames began to converge, taking the form of a giant wolf, before charging full speed towards him. Immobilized, terrified beyond belief, he took the full force of the attack. Engulfed in the living flames, enveloped in pain, all he could do was scream. His screams echoed into the night until, just when it seemed the pain would never end, he finally woke up.

Panting heavily as he realized where he was, Sigment slowly calmed himself.
"Damn it. It's been ten years, but I still have that nightmare every time I close my eyes..."

Taking two fingers, he dragged them down the scar that went from the top of his left cheek diagonally down to under the left side of his chin; a constant reminder of what happened that day. Putting on his keikogi, he walked out of his tent into the forest. In front of him, an older man was seated by a fire, eating breakfast. "Ahh, good morning, child! Did you rest well?", he said with a polite smile.

"Not exactly...", said the young man, "Good morning, Uncle."

The man's smile quickly disappeared. "Hmm... The same dream again?"

"Calling it a dream is an understatement... You know that."

"Yes, yes, I know.", he said with a worried look. Sigment's uncle, Genjiro, was the only family he had left, and was his father's brother. At the time Kurosai village was destroyed, he was endurance training in the mountains. Once aware of the incident, he hurried home, however it took him a week to make it back. Arriving home in the aftermath, he found Sigment, miraculously alive and well, in the remains of his family's hut. Taking him in that day, the boy's uncle cared for the boy as he would his own son. When Sigment turned sixteen, he asked his uncle to teach him kenjutsu. Choosing not to decline, he put the boy through training every morning. It has been that way ever since. "Hmm, you are wearing your keikogi already? You don't want breakfast?"

"I need to get stronger. I want to train now, then I'll eat." Genjiro stared at him, seeing the determination in his eyes. He could not refuse. Sitting up, he then walked over to their sparring area and grabbed two bokken from the stand, throwing one of them to Sigment. Once they were both in position, he asked, "Are you ready?" Sigment nodded in confirmation.

Almost immediately, Sigment charged his uncle, repeatedly swinging at him. Strike after strike, Kenjiro blocked each attack without fail. Holding against the last downward strike, he pushed back with enough force to send Sigment sliding backwards several feet. "What are you doing?!", he said angrily, "You must wait and anticipate your opponent's attack rather than offer them the chance to do the same! You know this!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know...", he said with a smirk, "But that's not the only way to win." Charging once again, Sigment prepared a strike. Genjiro prepared to block it, but at the last second Sigment dropped down and slid between his legs. As he got behind him, he spun back, knocking Genjiro's legs out from under him with a sweep kick before stopping a downward sword strike less than an inch from his face.

"Heh, I win...", said Sigment, panting with a smile.

Genjiro took his time getting up. "A feigned strike... Very clever, my boy." Standing up, he turned to face his pupil. "I should have seen it coming, I suppose. You would never blindly attack an opponent."

"Well, maybe you can get me back tomorrow." Sigment said with a grin.

Genjiro sighed, and looked at him seriously. "We will not be training tomorrow." The young man was obviously confused, so he elaborated. "This was the final test for you, and you passed. I have nothing left to teach you. But remember, we follow the principle of Katsujin-Ken. Never stray from that path." Patting Sigment on the shoulder, he smiled. "Now then, let's get something for you to eat!"
...

As Sigment finished his meal, Genjiro sat down with a cane, and looked at him with a stern face. "You have told me before of this nightmare you continue to have, but you would never tell me what happened ten years ago. What happened to our village?"

Sigment looked at him with a frown. He knew that when his uncle gets like this he won't back down. So he explained everything: The fires and explosions, the screams of the villagers as they died. But most importantly, he described the giant wolf with white fur that caused it all. Shocked to hear the truth after all these years, Genjiro took some time to think. Eventually, he thought of something. "A wolf of that size... I did not think they existed in this world, not anymore. However, assuming that they have not completely gone extinct, it may have been a Lycan."

Confused, Sigment couldn't help but ask, "What's a... Lycan?" Genjiro struck the top of boy's head with his cane for his ignorance. "Oww!! Damn it, what the hell was that for?!"

"A Lycan is a werewolf, you idiot... Do you know nothing of history?" His eyes sharpened. "Lycans were a race that had supposedly gone extinct almost 100 years ago. Their kind was declared a threat after an incident in Western Europe, so the world governments decided unanimously to exterminate them." He then turned to the young man with a puzzled look on his face. "Still, Lycans are not capable of abilities that could burn a village to the ground. Even though Lycans do not age, and get stronger the longer they live, they should not be capable of gaining such strength." He paused for a moment before continuing. "And then, there's this particular Lycan, which you say has shining white fur. I have never heard of a Lycan that didn't have brown fur when transformed... I cannot help but feel as though there is much more to this than just what you saw..."

He stood up, looking towards the nearby mountain. "If this 'White Wolf' is as strong as you say, mere training is not enough."

"Then what do I need to do? Tell me!", said Sigment, his eyes sharply focused.

"Come with me..." said Genjiro, "and I'll show you." They walked at least half a mile towards the mountain before Sigment realized that they were being watched. He stopped, looking in various directions. "What is it?", his uncle asked.

"Someone's here..." Initially he was focused on caution, but suddenly an idea crossed his mind, and he grinned. At that moment, a figure jumped out of the treeline, attempting what appeared to be a roundhouse kick. Anticipating it, Sigment blocked the attack with his right forearm before grabbing the individual's leg and throwing them forward. The assailant recovered mid-air, before landing on the ground in front of the two men. The attacker, a woman, stood up and smiled. "Not bad! You've been practicing..."

Sigment returned the smile to the woman. "Yeah... Nice to see you too, Sonya..."
...
____________________________________________________________________

Well now, things are getting interesting, aren't they? Who's this new character, and how does Sigment know her? Where exactly is Genjiro planning to take Sigment? You'll have to wait until next week, when Chapter Two gets posted!

P.S. Here is a list of translations for certain words in the Chapter.
shōji: traditional Japanese sliding door
keikogi: training uniform
kenjutsu: sword techniques
bokken: Japanese wooden training sword
Katsujin-Ken: an ancient fighting principle, also known as "The Life-giving Sword"
Last edited by Sigment on Mon May 20, 2013 7:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
"You've chosen your Answer. Now see it through." -Serene Haze
Gizmo - You're always awesome Sig. DON'T 4get that.

Check out my literary comic: Kurosai Chronicles!
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Birdofterror » Sat May 18, 2013 10:52 am

Ah, so our little survivor is growing up and training. But for what? Survival? Or Revenge? Either way, his journey should be a tough one.

I must ask, did you change the date back ten years so you could have this 10 year flash-forward? Just curious. If so, I would have to recommend you put yourself off from writing for a while and spend a lot of your time planning out your story.

If such a key detail came in so late in development, I can't help but imagine you might make a big mistake and not even know it once you come up with a better idea down the road. Just a suggestion from one novice writer to another.

I look forward to more of your work.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Sun May 19, 2013 9:22 pm

Break Time!
Kurosai Chronicles info post.

We know that there is more to this world than just Humans and Demons, but what else is there? The fact is, there are a number of species coexisting with the two dominant races. Lycans are just one, but there are also Vampires (Shocker!), who are most commonly found in North America and Western Europe, led by their elder: Nosferatu. The group will encounter them in their travels, but when and what the outcome will be, I cannot say.

But let's get to another topic that I'd like to mention. Why did it seem as though Genjiro and Sigment were unaware of the other worldwide attacks happening over the last ten years? To put it plainly, they know of the incidents, but are unaware that the culprit was also the one that destroyed their village. Why, you ask? As Genjiro said, Lycans are supposed to be extinct. When the governments of the world realized a Lycan was responsible, rather than admit that they failed to fully exterminate the species, they covered it up, blaming the attacks on an unnamed Demon terrorist group.

Lastly, I would like to more thoroughly explain Katsujin-Ken, or the "Live-Giving Sword". Katsujin-Ken was a fighting principle created (based on my research) by Yagyū Munetoshi back in the 16th century. Munetoshi was a student of Shinkage-ryū, who eventually inherited his teacher's dojo, renaming it Yagyū Shinkage-ryū. The true meaning of Katsujin-Ken is somewhat debatable, but the general principle is usually the same. Katsujin-ken basically teaches that a sword is not made to take life, but to protect life. It exists to maintain order, although in some iterations of the idea, sometimes a life must be taken for a life to be saved. This is the principle that Sigment follows. He will usually do his best to not kill others, but if a person is in immediate danger due to a more barbaric individual, he will not hesitate to cut them down.

Well, that does it for this Break Time. I hope to have Chapter Two out within the next couple of days. However, things will slow down a bit after that, as I cannot be on this forum 24-7.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
"You've chosen your Answer. Now see it through." -Serene Haze
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Tue May 21, 2013 2:42 am

It's been less than a week, and we've already hit 100 views!
:sosad: I feel so appreciated...

Alright, time to keep going! This is the longest chapter I've made so far. Questions may be answered, and more may be put in their place! Here's hoping everyone enjoys it. So let's begin Chapter Two!

MAJOR EDIT: Taking the advice given by Blood Lord, I have split this Chapter into two parts.
__________________________________________________________

Kurosai Chronicles

Chapter Two: A Test of Resolve, A Will to Survive
Part One: The Mysterious Woman of the Fist

The boy slowly regained consciousness. He wasn't sure what was going on... How was he still alive? As his eyes opened, he realized that he was in a makeshift bed inside what remained of his family's hut. As he sat up, he felt a sharp pain on the left side of his face. Instinctively, he lightly touched the area with his hand, feeling a deep cut going all the way down to under his chin. Bearing the pain, he got up and began to walk out of the ruined hut. Reaching the center of his ravaged home, he found a woman sitting by a fire. She turned her head to look at him, with a faint smile on her face.

"Oh, you're awake. You okay?"

The boy was confused. "...Yes. What happened? Did anyone else survive?"

Her smile faded from her face. "Nope, only you. Hell, you woulda been dead too if I hadn't found ya. I stopped the bleeding on your face, but it's still gonna leave quite a scar." She held out something in her hand, a piece of cooked meat. "Here, I was gonna have it myself, but you need it more than me." The boy hesitated, then slowly took the food and began eating it. Still, he couldn't help but ask...

"Who are you?"

Standing up, she turned to the boy, her smile having returned. "My name's Sonya Parker, how 'bout you?"

Once again, he hesitated, before answering, "...My name is... Sigment... Kurosai."
...

"Not bad! You've been practicing..."

"Yeah... Nice to see you too, Sonya...", he said, a remark born from the sarcasm Sigment came to develop since he met her. For eight days, she took care of him. It didn't take much time with her to realize that she was a master of martial arts. After Genjiro found him, Sonya shadowed them from place to place. On the night after Sigment started learning kenjutsu from his uncle, she approached him and offered to also help him learn hand-to-hand martial arts.

Genjiro seemed confused. "Sigment, you know this woman?"

"Yeah...", he said, deciding to make introductions. "Genjiro, this is Sonya Parker. She took care of me ten years ago, until you found me."

His uncle then smiled, holding out his hand. "Well then, my dear, I believe thanks are in order. Both he and I, as well as his late father, are in your debt."

Sonya accepted his handshake. "Ah, it's no big deal! I just had good timing, that's all!", she said with a light chuckle. She then looked at the nearby mountain, before turning back to them. "So! Based on where you're heading, I'm guessing you're going out to see him?"

Genjiro never seemed more surprised in his life. "How do you...? Young lady, could we speak privately?" She shrugged in acceptance, walking a ways into the trees with him. They spoke for exactly five minutes, before reemerging from the trees. "Sigment, before we continue, Ms. Parker has asked for a sparring match with you." Sigment was more than willing to participate.

The two of them got into position, then took a bow before starting. They stood there, waiting for something. At that moment, a fruit from a nearby tree fell to the ground. Taking that as a signal, both of them charged forward. They went back and forth exchanging blows and blocks. Suddenly, Sonya's hand glowed with a white aura. Sigment, aware of what this meant, attempted to evade the incoming, but failed and took the hit in his chest. The attack knocked him into a nearby tree, hard.

Genjiro was amazed. "Such an attack! What was that technique?!"

Sigment slowly stood up, his hand on his chest. "She is a master of all martial arts... In addition, she has become an expert in controlling her Ki... By focusing it into a single point...", he coughed, as the blow was harder than expected, "...like her hand... she can create a much more powerful attack..."

"You are just as capable of this as me, ya know.", she said with a smirk, her hand seemingly smoking from the attack. "I haven't been training you for nothing."

"Yeah, yeah...", he said, having now recovered from the previous attack. He began to concentrate, focusing his Ki into his hand, creating a black aura around it. He charged forward, Sonya bracing for that attack. However, she was so concentrated on his hand, she failed to notice that Sigment had also poured Ki into his legs. Taking advantage of this, he continued moving forward at normal speed. Just as he reached her, he used the Ki in his legs to dash around behind her in the blink of an eye, before hitting her in the back. The blow imparted a great deal of force, throwing her across the dirt path on which they stood. As she hit the ground, she attempted to recover quickly, but Sigment followed her as she flew, and stopped his fist in front of her face as she got up.

"Heh, not bad, Sig...", she said as she got to her feet. "You remembered what I taught you... But here's some free advice: Ki can be put into anything you touch, affecting its properties and making it more useful." She put her hand on her back, where Sigment hit her. "That actually feels pretty good! You ever thought of bein' a chiropractor?" The young man couldn't help but laugh a little. "Anyways...,", she said, her look at bit more serious, "...you've passed my test. I'd say you're ready."
...

_______________________________________________________

And that's Part One, with Part Two having been re-posted separately. (In other words, scroll down.)
Last edited by Sigment on Tue May 21, 2013 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Blood Lord » Tue May 21, 2013 12:50 pm

Big ol wall of text right thar. A little over six mircrosoft pages. You might want to consider posting shorter segments.

There are a couple grammatical errors, but nothing too major when I took it and copied it into Microsoft Word. I'll read more of it into detail later.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Tue May 21, 2013 2:13 pm

And here's Chapter Two, Part Two. Sorry about the length, but conversations tend to stretch a post.

_____________________________________________________

Kurosai Chronicles

Chapter Two: A Test of Resolve, A Will to Survive
Part Two: The Birth of a King

...
As they finally reached the mountain, Sigment noticed a cave opening a short ways away. "That's where we're headed!", said Sonya. "Let's go!"

Something was off about the entrance, though. It was so big that a plane could fit inside! He couldn't help but ask, "Uhh... what's in there?"

"A valuable ally.", Genjiro said calmly as they entered. Sigment got more nervous the farther in they went. He could swear that he could hear something breathing in there, but it would have to be as big as a house, at least! When they arrived at the main chamber of the cave, he saw it. He couldn't believe his eyes. Right in front of him, in front of all of them, was a Dragon! "This, child...," said Genjiro, "...is the last Black Dragon in existence."

"You gotta be kidding me...", he thought. "Dragons are real? I thought they were just a myth!"

"They're real, alright.", Sonya chipped in. The Black Dragon was enormous, blocking out the light shining in through the opening at the top of the chamber. The behemoth looked down at them, curious as to why he had guests.

"Three visitors... Why have you entered my dwelling?"

Genjiro walked forward. "Mighty Dragon...,", he said, "...there is a beast in the world, a Lycan, that has obtained dangerous power. Power that seems to be unstoppable. We require your assistance, as you are the last Black Dragon. Your power may be able to turn the tide in the battles to come." The Dragon looked... humbled, but then looked to all three of them.

"I am afraid that time has been a cruel mistress... I cannot provide the power you seek in this form."

"We are aware, sir. But we seek to harness your power through another method. We know that Dragons can bestow their essence to one who can prove their worth." Genjiro then looked to Sigment, and put his hand on his shoulder. "And that person is you." Sigment was shocked by his uncle's words.

"How am I supposed to do that?!", he asked.

"Simple.", said Sonya, "You just have to kill him." In that moment, Sigment felt as though his heart and lungs stopped working.

"Are you... INSANE?!", he couldn't help but scream. "Why not just shoot me in the head, and save him the effort?!"

"You've been training for this, boy!", Genjiro shouted.

"We weren't breaking our backs for nothing, ya know.", Sonya added.

Genjiro handed Sigment a katana, and looked at him with a serious face, more serious than ever. "This is my best blade... Use it well. Remember everything we've taught you, and you will succeed." Sigment took the blade in his hand. It was light, lighter than he would expect of a blade of that length. He then walked towards the giant in front of him. He realized he couldn't back down.

"Know this, Human. I will not hold back."

"Okay...", he said as he clenched the blade, "Let's do this!"

He focused himself, remembering his training.

"You must wait and anticipate your opponents movements, then counter without hesitation."

"Do not yield, even for a second. It is in that moment that you die."

The Black Dragon then decided to make the first move. Spinning around, it used its tail in a sweeping maneuver. Sigment saw this, jumping up over the tail before attempting a downward strike. The blade seemed to practically bounce off of the Dragon's scales.

"Damn. Its scales are too hard. But then, how else can I attack...?"

The Dragon then brought down one of its claws, attempting to crush him. He rolled out of the way, jumping onto its arm to work his way to its head. In a carefully placed strike, he jumped forward, thrusting his sword into its right eye. The beast roared in pain, shaking it's head around. The boy held on as long as he could, until the blade slipped out, and he fell to the ground. In that moment, the Dragon slammed into him with its arm, sending him flying into a nearby wall.

"Damn...", said Genjiro worriedly as he watched the battle, "This may have been too much for the boy." Sonya merely stood there silently, waiting for the outcome.

As Sigment began coughing up blood, it all came rushing back. The fear he experienced ten years ago reared its head, and his mind began to go blank. He couldn't think, and even worse, he couldn't move. He started to slip away, as his mind delved into his memories.
...

On one day, Karra and Sigment were playing tag. It was a special day, as it was Karra's tenth birthday. They played for hours, before falling into the grass, exhausted, yet laughing happily. As they laid there Karra looked to her dear friend.

"Sigment, do you believe in destiny?"

"What do you mean?", the boy asked.

"My mother told me today that everyone has a destiny, and that when the time comes, they must have the strength to follow it through to the end." She smiled, with hint of curiosity. "If it was time for you to follow your destiny, would you?"

"I don't know... I... don't think I could." The two of them sat in silence for a few seconds before the girl responded.

"You could... I know you could."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because...,", she said, "I believe in you."
...

"I believe in you."

The man's eyes shot open. In that moment, everything was clear again. He rose to his feet, the Dragon waiting for him patiently. Something was different than before, it could see that. The "Human's" Ki was rising rapidly. Sigment looked at his opponent with a fury in his eyes. "Alright, pal...,", he yelled, "...time for Round Two!"

"If I'm gonna beat him, I need to strike his heart directly. But his scales are too strong... How can I do this?" And that's when he remembered...

"Ki can be put into anything you touch, affecting its properties and making it more useful."

He concentrated, focusing everything he had into the blade in his hand. The blade glowed in what almost appeared to be a black flame. The opponent in front of him was curious where this would lead. Sigment charged the Dragon, who responded by once again attempting to crush him with its hand. This time though, rather than dodge, Sigment actually caught the attack with his blade. He pushed its hand back, his blade cutting into its palm. "Now's my chance!" Wasting no time, he used the opening in the Dragon's defenses to leap towards it. With all of the strength he had, he thrust the sword into the Dragon's chest, piercing its heart. The Dragon roared in excruciating pain before collapsing to the ground.

Sigment stood there, panting heavily. He couldn't believe it. He was so unsure, that he had to ask. "Did I... Did I win...?"

Genjiro never looked happier in his life. "Yes, my boy! You did it!" Sigment walked back to his uncle, who immediately hugged him. "Your father would be so proud of you." Sigment smiled, looking over to Sonya.

She grinned, giving him a thumbs up. "I knew you had it in you."

"Indeed... Most impressive... Human..."

Sigment froze, realizing who was speaking. He turned around to see the Black Dragon slowly rise back up.

"You are in no danger, Human." The Dragon stared at him. "You have proven your worth. I will give you my power." Sigment was relieved, but just as he calmed down, the Dragon grabbed him in its hand. He was scared out of his mind, terrified as to what would happen next. "However...," it stated, "I require an opening with which to give my essence to you." Using its other hand, it pointed to Sigment's right eye. "This should suffice."

"Oh, shit..."

Without waiting, the Dragon used its claw to cut into the young man's eye. He screamed out in constant pain as blood poured down his face. At that moment, the Dragon began to change shape. It began to appear as if it was a giant mass of energy. Slowly, it began to pour itself into Sigment's opened eye. He continued to scream as the process went on. Eventually, it was over. Sigment floated back down to the ground, his hand clenched over his eye. All of a sudden, the pain was gone. As he took his hand away, his eye quickly began to heal. However, at the same time, his eye slowly began to change into that of a Dragon.

"What...?" He struggled to form the words he wanted. "What... just happened?"

"You've been given the power that you need, child.", Genjiro said, he, himself, in awe of what happened.

Sonya looked up with a smirk, "Heads up, it's not over yet."

Sigment looked up to see a bright, shining light floating down towards him. As it reached him, he held out his hand, and it began to take shape. Slowly, it began to take the form of a blade. As the light faded, he could see it clearly. In his hands was a katana, beautiful in design. The sword's handle appeared to be made of Black Dragon scales. Its sheath had a Dragon's body wrapped around it, with the Dragon's head at the tip. He pulled the blade out of its sheath, in awe of the craftsmanship. It was an exquisite blade, 30 inches in length.

"Use my power well... Sigment."

"Where are you?", he asked, not sure where the voice came from.

"Within your body is my essence, and within this blade, my soul. I shall accompany you through every step of this journey."

Realizing how to communicate, he thought to himself, "What should I call you?"

"In my new form, I am Kokuryūken."

Sigment smiled. "I'll just call you Ryū."

With confidence, he looked to the others. Sonya responded by once again giving him a thumbs up. Genjiro, however, had something to say. "I am afraid I cannot accompany you on this journey. I must return home." He's smiled at his nephew. "It is time I begin to rebuild our village."

"You know...," Sonya mentioned, "You might wanna practice keepin' that eye closed."

Sigment and Sonya exited the cave, the midday light shining down on them. "Well then...", he thought, "We'd better get moving."
...

As time passed, rumors began to spread throughout the nation of Japan, eventually spreading across the globe. They spoke of a Human who somehow slew the last Black Dragon in existence. They said that he, himself, possessed a Dragon's eye. Japan came to know this man as the Kokuryū kokuō. However, the rest of the world knew him by the translation... The Black Dragon King.
...
___________________________________________________

Whew! Spent the entire day on that one!

This is a major turning point in the story for Sigment, and there's no telling where the story's headed next! Thing is, I'll be gone for a while with the games coming out tomorrow and next week, but I will get the next chapter out as soon as I can.

Time for this chapter's translations.
Ki: A Japanese term referring to the spiritual energy flowing within all of existence.
katana: Everyone knows what they are, but I'll be specific. Literally translates to "sword". A Japanese curved sword with a blade usually between 23 and 28 inches long, making the Kokuryūken a very long blade.
Kokuryūken: "Black Dragon Sword". Actually pronounced as Kuroryūken.
Ryū: Pretty obvious. Literally means "Dragon"
Last edited by Sigment on Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Tue May 28, 2013 5:42 am

Okay, I decided to read this story by chance, but it's very good. Mostly because I can find very few like it that have decent English (Your's more than decent). Though one thing I would've done is taken out the prologue, why? Because I think it would have more impact if you explained it through the story, like assuming Karra's a love interest, I would've enjoyed this build of hostilities between humans and demons and I assume Sigment is meant to be trying to peacemake these tensions. You would wonder why he's doing it and just makes him a more seemingly paladin character, then when Karra's then introduced later, duh-duh-duh, that's the real reason he's doing it and is brought up as a conflict. Right now if you do have Sigment peacemaking, we'll all know it's just because he has a crush.

That's my opinion anyhows and just thought I'd justify it. Focusing anyways, I also feel you don't trust your reader enough. What I mean is that you should only really be using words and sentences that are a need to know or have purpose. For example here, I don't think you're quite trusting us.

She shrugged in acceptance, walking a ways into the trees with him. They spoke for exactly five minutes, before reemerging from the trees I think we're pretty sure she accepted, I don't read afterwards that she was dragged against her will or hypnotized. So you could just have, 'She shrugged'. Also pretty sure they spoke and we don't need to know how long either and reemerging from the trees sounds as if they literally came out of them, that and we don't really need to know they walked about out. Here's how I would've written the sentence if you don't mind.
She shrugged and walked off with him. Later they came back.

Afterwards the set-up into the spar was really rushed, what's your hurry and I have no idea what Sigment feels about this. This could well definitely be a personal opinion of mine, but I thought to express it if you don't mind. One more thing that I want to get off my shoulders. Your fight scenes are bad nor terrible, but I can't get into them because they're not fast paced enough. They are fast, but not enough to convey the idea this is meant to be a fast fight. For example.

Just as he reached her, he used the Ki in his legs to dash around behind her in the blink of an eye, before hitting her in the back When you imagined this scene, the whole thing blinked, for us, I'm sure we feel like we could get a cup of coffee while this happened (Not that I drink coffee, but there you go). Harsh I know, but I'm trying to strongly express my point. 'In the blink of an eye' is just far too long a description that it hinders the whole thing and of course he appeared behind her before hitting in the back, so we don't need the word before. Again, if I'm not over-stepping my boundries, here's how I'd write it.
He closed up and then appeared behind her and struck her We didn't need to know where she needed to hit her it's not important, we can trust he used something like ki to appear behind her.

Hopefully this helps anyways. I'm not trying to be a douche critic (Although you have no idea how fun it is). I'm just someone who loves to try and help people's writing and find out if it makes a difference. So hopefully if you show it to anyone, there'll be a better reaction and so on. You don't have to accept my advice though and can just push it aside off the table as if it wasn't there, but please consider them and I hope my advice does help.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:06 pm

Break Time!
Kurosai Chronicles info post.

There are many creatures in this world with longer lifespans than Humans, some who don't even age past a certain point. Among these are Demons, Lycans, Dragons, and Vampires. However, the concept of immortality does not exist in this universe. Now that Sigment has absorbed the essence of a Black Dragon, it will affect his body in a number of ways. How many, and what changes in particular, will occur, I will not share. We shall find out soon.

I have been working on Chapter 3 for a while, but I have been distracted. There are a host of other issues that require my attention. However, in light of the number of views this comic has received, I will have a little... gift for the viewers, which will be revealed next Break Time. I will not say what it is, but I will say that this applies to both members of the forum, and simple guests. I hope to have Chapter 3 out as soon as I can. Jikai made!
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:50 am

Alright, I've kept you all waiting long enough! Let's keep going. Just remember, if you have questions concerning the story or the characters, don't hesitate to ask them. I will usually answer them with a PM, but if it's something everyone should know, I'll post the answer here.

____________________________________________________________

Kurosai Chronicles

Chapter Three: Risen Again, a Forgotten Friendship

"They're called Sorrow Gems.", the young girl said, holding two Demonic necklaces in her hands. "My mother said these gems are hard to find, and that, despite their names, are a sign of friendship between Demons."

"You're giving them to me?" The boy looked at the gems. Despite the fact that he was Human, he felt that these artifacts were beautiful in appearance. But then a thought crossed his mind. "That's Demon stuff, and I'm not sure my father would approve."

"Silly, I'm just giving you one." She looked at him with one of her usual smiles. "The other's for me." Holding the boy's necklace behind her back, she looked at him earnestly. "Before I give you yours, Sigment, I want you to make me a promise."

"What's that?"

"Promise me, that no matter what happens, we'll always be friends." She stared at him, her eyes demanding an answer.

"I promise. No matter what... Karra."
...

"Welcome to London Night News. I am Fiona Perry." The television struggled to speak over the countless arguments taking place in the pub. "Tonight marks the thirtieth anniversary of the first of countless attacks by a group of Demonic terrorists, an act of violence that devastated a small Japanese village. Fifteen years later, the series of violent acts came to a halt, yet no arrests were made by any federal organisation." The story went on, as a man in black clothing approached the bar. He set a long, wrapped item down beside him, and began to watch the news.

"What'll it be, lad? Care for a pint?" The man shook his head, keeping his eye on the television. "Aye, the telly's been talkin' o' the attacks. Been goin' all day."

"In other news, the search continues for a global vigilante known only as the 'Black Dragon King'. The individual is rumored to have appeared in countless regions around the world for the last twenty years, and has impeded several federal investigations into violent acts between Humans and Demons. The Japanese seem to believe that the 'Kokuryū kokuō', as they call him, actually possesses the power of a Dragon."

"Load o' tosh, tha' is!", the words coming from the most inebriated man in the pub. "Ah could ta'e the bligh'er on mah own!" The man at the bar couldn't help but chuckle at the idea, which caught the drunkard's attention. "Ya laughin' at meh, ya li'l punk?" Pulling out a handgun, he stumbled over to the bar. "Ya think Ah can'h ta'e a tosser like 'im..." He rose the gun to his head. "...or you?"

"So much for subtlety..." The man turned his head slightly. "I don't want trouble, so put that away before you shoot yourself." The trigger slowly began to pull back. "Don't do it..."

As the gun went off, time almost seemed to freeze. Everyone stared, expecting to see a mass of bloody flesh where the head would have been. But after the flash, the man was gone. The drunkard stared, wondering where the hell he went. Everyone was looking, but not at him. They were looking at the man in black clothing behind him, with scars on his right eye and left cheek.

"Just no skill...", he said, before applying a strike that knocked his opponent out like a light. The entire pub went silent as the man picked up the wrapped item and faced the door. "Excuse me...", he said as he left the building.

"That could have gone better...", said Ryū.

"Hey, he started it. The way I see it, I let him off easy. He'll be fine in an hour... though he'll have a hell of a headache when he wakes up." Sigment smiled to himself. "Now come on, we're in London! Let's lighten up, see a show! I heard there's a group playing at the theatre in town. They say the singer's got a great voice."

As Sigment arrived the theatre, he proceeded to approach the ticket booth. "I'll have a ticket for the show, please."

"Yes sir, that will be one hundred pounds." He gave a utterly baffled look to the woman. "I'm sorry, but regular seating is full up, all we have left is VIP seating."

He walked away, proceeding into the adjacent alley. "Ah well, there's other ways to see the show." Jumping upwards, he went back and forth between the alley walls, using them to reach the theatre rooftop, where he found a skylight overlooking the stage. "See that? Best seat in the house."

"It would mean more if you had paid for it."

"There's just no pleasing you, is there?"
...

As the stage dimmed, the announcer spoke through the speakers. The volume had been brought to a level where even Sigment could hear everything crystal clear. "Thank you all for coming to tonight's show, everyone. We've got the people you came to see right here! Here they are, Tragic Destiny!"

The curtains opened, and the band's silhouette could be seen in the darkness on stage. The area brightened immediately as the band began to play. Sigment could see them all clearly, especially the lead singer. She was a beautiful Demonic woman who looked to be no more than twenty-five years old, if she had been Human. Then he noticed something around her neck. Something very familiar.

Sigment smiled, letting a single tear run down his left cheek. "I'll be damned... And here I thought..." He sat there, thinking of all of the time that had been lost, before going back to watching the show. Her voice truly was beautiful, almost entrancing. He kept watching her for the entire show. Eventually, it was over, and everyone began packing up. Sigment looked over the side of the building to see the woman leave through the back entrance.

She walked out carrying her bag, with a man that appeared to be the building manager. "Great show tonight, love. See you in a fortnight."

She smiled back, waving goodbye. "Thanks, Mark! See you later!" As she began walking through the alley, it wasn't long before local thugs noticed her and approached.

"Hey there, love. Now, what's a pretty little darlin' like you doin' here?" She tried running, only to have two of them grab her arms. "Now don't go running away... I'd feel insulted..." Pulling out a knife, he aimed it at her neck. "You wouldn't want that, would you, love?" He brought the blade to her throat, before he was interrupted by a rock that struck him in the head.

As he collapsed to the ground, the others tried to figure out what was happening. "Heh, it's showtime..." Sigment rushed in, bringing down the two other thugs with a pair of kicks. "Well, that was boring..." He was about to turn around, when the woman tased him from behind. He fell to the ground, before rising back up almost immediately. "What the hell was that for?!"

The woman frantically began to apologize. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I... I thought that, because of how you looked, you may have been another thug." She smiled, then bowed her head. "Thank you for helping me."

"Ah, it was nothing! What are best friends for anyways?"

"Best... friends...?" She was not sure what to think.

"Geez, and here I thought I'd be the one to forget..." Sigment then pulled out his Sorrow Gem from under his shirt, showing it to her. "Friends always, no matter what. Right... Karra?"

Her heart skipped a beat. She couldn't breathe, and her eyes began to overflow with tears. Falling to her knees, she said in a breaking voice, "Sig... ment... you're-" Before she could finish, Sigment pushed her out of the way of an incoming gunshot. Karra was not sure what had just happened.

"Well, how 'bout that?", Sigment said with a grin. "He brought friends this time..." The man from the pub, awake and somehow sober, stood in front of them with a group totaling at thirty men, armed with everything from switchblades to handguns.

"You're outnumbered this time, ya li'l bastard. It's over now."

Sigment got up, grinning and chuckling. "No...", he said, "Now, it's fun."
...

_________________________________________________________

Well, it's about time! Did I keep everyone waiting? That's it for now, but be prepared for the next Break Time, because something's coming up that may interest some of you. Jikai made!

EDIT: I fixed a whoopsie. (Used the wrong word in a sentence)
Last edited by Sigment on Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Birdofterror » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:31 pm

Sorry I hadn't responded in a while. Believe it or not I'm actually writing TWO stories now.

Pray for me.

But, in all seriousness, I had to pick back up on your story on Part Two of Chapter Two as that is where I left off. The part started off kind of slow, needed to be a hunch to get over, but the rest of it was entrancing.

The dragon kind of died too fast for my taste and it all seemed anti-climactic. I mean- SURE now he's the Black Dragon King, but at the same time... eh...

Anyway, as I continued onto the final chapter (So far) I felt like the pacing was a lot better than the previous chapter and I was able to comfortably read it without feeling like I had to work for the story.

I'm kinda irked by the actions of the Bartender, he doesn't really seem like someone who would really exist. I mean, he runs a bar filled with British people and all it takes to set him off is someone saying he can't fight a dragon-person?

How the hell does he still run a bar if THAT'S what it takes to set him off? All it would take is some random guy to call him "not that great at his job" for him to lose his mind and go on a rampage.

Other than that, the rest of the story was nice. I especially like he met his old friend after so long, having her forgotten about him.

But then, you know... mister drunk guy now has a posse of thugs to help him kill the guy, by aiming at the woman apparently. :unsure:

Other than those things, it was a really good read.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:43 pm

The... uh... drunkard was who got pissed off. The Bartender was just watching.
"Load o' tosh, tha' is!", the words coming from the most inebriated man in the pub. "Ah could ta'e the bligh'er on mah own!"
I tried to make his speech sound a lot worse than anyone else. I mean, come on, the guy's wasted. Increased ego tends to go hand in hand with a ton of booze.
...
Birdofterror wrote:But then, you know... mister drunk guy now has a posse of thugs to help him kill the guy, by aiming at the woman apparently. :unsure:
Oh, sorry. I should've established positioning. The two of them were facing each other, with the shot coming from behind Sigment, so the shot was aiming at him. Karra was just in the path of the bullet. I should've made that clearer, my bad.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Birdofterror » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:49 pm

Sigment Kurosai wrote:The... uh... drunkard was who got pissed off. The Bartender was just watching.
Ah, I see. My bad, then.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Thu Jun 27, 2013 1:43 am

Break Time!
500 view celebration post.

I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read my story. To do that, I am beginning a little contest.
__________________________________

Here Comes a New Challenger!

That's right, the contest winner will have a character of their own in the story, introduced in a yet-to-be-determined chapter. The rules of the contest are simple: Send me a description of your character. The best character idea will win, and be included in the story. Entries will be available until July 31 at 11:59 pm, or until fifty entries have been received. The following criteria must be included:

NOTE: As of right now in the story, the year is 2025, so act accordingly.

Name: Kind of a given. That being said, be mature and think of an actual name. Copyright names or something childish like "Ivana Tinkle" will go straight in the trash.

Gender: Male or female, those are your options.

Race: You have four races to choose from; Humans, Demons, Vampires, and Lycans.
Human: No special abilities, but have none of the downsides of the other races.
Demons: Capable of using magic to a devastating degree, but lack the physical resilience of the other races.
Vampires: Capable of flight, and have shape-shifting abilities to assist them, but (obviously) cannot be exposed to sunlight, and are vulnerable to magical artifacts.
Lycans: A dying race. Capable of transforming into a deadly Wolf Form, Physically stronger and more agile, as well as more resilient than the other races, but extremely vulnerable to Silver, more so when in Wolf Form.

Appearance: What do they look like? How do they dress? Do they wear armor, casual clothing, or maybe something in between? Be as detailed as possible in the way that you describe them. If you wish to use an Internet image to help describe them, that is fine, but a textual description must be included.

Personality: What is the general way that they treat others? Are they kind and warm-hearted, or maybe they are somewhat hot-headed? Once again, be as detailed as possible, otherwise I won't know how to have them behave.

History: What's their backstory, and how do they fit into what is happening? I'm allowing you to be creative here, so they could even be another survivor of the Kurosai Village. I'll even allow them to be someone that stands against Sigment, rather than with him. Be reasonable, and take everything that you know so far about the story into account.

Combat Style: Your character needs to be able to fight, but what will be their technique? I'll allow just about any existing method of combat. That being said, I will allow things such as shinobi (ninjas) or other mystical fighting styles. Those who do their research regarding a martial art or combat style will have a much better chance in that area. However, your character can't be drastically stronger than Sigment, since he is the main character.

Additional Info: Any extra details will allow me to understand your character better, and increase your chances in the contest. Do they have any particular fears (This comic does have fun moments, so certain awkward or humorous moments are a possibility in that area)? Is there something in particular that infuriates or excites them? Be creative, be clever.

Conditions:
1: The contest is available to anyone, you do not have to me a Snafu Forum user to participate.

2: Entries are to be made by emailing me at [redacted] for guests. Members may send me a PM.

3: The subject line must read "KC Character Idea", or it will be ignored.

4: If you require some info to help think of a character, send me an email or PM with "KC Character Help" in the subject line. I won't make your character for you, though. This is a test or your creativity, not mine.

5: I expect proper spelling, punctuation and grammar in the entry. You aren't on YouTube, so don't go shortening everything.

"he like to kil stuf an kik azz"
-Bad... Oh so bad.

"He gets a kick out of fighting, and shows no mercy to his opponents."
-Good

6: Should you make a mistake (attempt to make your entry here, or send me an email with the incorrect subject line) you will not be disqualified. however, for your character to be considered, you must follow the rules and send me the appropriate email or PM.
_____________________________________

That's it! I wish good luck to all who participate. If an issue comes up during the contest, rules may be changed or added, so check back every now and then.
Last edited by Sigment on Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:34 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Fri Jun 28, 2013 12:18 am

Rule 2 has been modified to allow Members to send a PM, guests unable or unwilling to make a Forum account can still send an email.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:16 pm

I was hoping you had written more by the time I came back, but it appears ya haven't. Fair enough, but it leaves me less to complain about. Not that there's much to complain about here, your writing has suddenly improved? Whether your more into the story or experience as your character is slightly more alive here. One thing I have to gripe that I don't like there, is that it's either him or this voice, but which ever it is... is pretty sam annoying, it's like a child in the background trying to get attention. It would be far cooler if Sigment or this voice didn't say a thing, I mean really, you know how badly I wanted to shout 'Shut up!'.

Your action also gets better here. But there's still ways you could cut out things. For example.

"Just no skill...", he said, before applying a strike that knocked his opponent out like a light.

We know whose talking, so we don't need 'he said' and you could just say he knocked out his opponent like a light. Though I have no idea why you used 'like a light'. Like a, is too strong and sharp to what I'm assuming is meant to be a fluent action and light, I don't know. I assume you mean like a light bulb, but I just find the word too questionable that I'd rather you removed the phrase or replaced it.

Hope this helps anyhows.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Tue Jul 16, 2013 1:51 am

I do apologize for how long it has taken to get each chapter posted. So, let's keep moving, then.

__________________________________________________________


Kurosai Chronicles

Chapter Four: A Dish Best Served Cold

"Oi! You alright, mate?", spoke a voice, as he was repeatedly slapped lightly on the cheek. As his eyes opened, the man's vision was somewhat blurred. Eventually, he could tell where he was. He had been spending the last hour on the floor of the Remington pub, knocked out as everyone there tried to wake him up.

"Ugh... What the 'ell happened?" His head was killing him, it felt like a hangover coupled with having a jackhammer beating on his head.

"He knocked ya out, mate.", said the bartender. "He was just there be'ind ya, then he knocked ya out." Was he hearing this right? He had his gun pointed at that little bastard, and he somehow got behind him? He was furious, and wasn't about to let the punk off like that.

"Where is he? Where is that bloody prick?!"

"Haven't seen him since he left, but I believe he was headed towards the theatre." The man didn't waste time. He grabbed his friends there, and contacted as many others as he could, and told them to meet at the theatre. An hour later they were all there. He asked the vendor if she had seen the man he wanted, to which she responded that he couldn't afford a ticket and went back into the alleys.

They moved en masse to the back of the theatre, and there he was. The man was kneeling down, but he didn't care. Taking his revolver he aimed at him, and pulled the trigger. The man immediately dove out of the way, while pushing someone over the opposite way. It was a Demon! Why was there a Demon with him? Pushing that thought out of him mind, he spoke across the way. "You're outnumbered this time, ya li'l bastard. It's over now." This time, he would put him in his place.
...

"So~, what? You want to kill me?" Sigment wasn't too eager to fight them; there were higher priorities for him. Still, he wouldn't shy away if he needed to fight. "Ryū, Jihi Style." And with that, the sword's form began to alter within its sheath, thickening and dulling its blade. He then removed the wrap from around his sword, and took up a combat stance. With this many guns pointed at him, he didn't make a move.

Karra wasn't sure what to think about all of this. She had just been reunited with the man she had thought dead for the last thirty years, and now he's facing a thirty-on-one fight against a group of locals. And his scars... one of which on his eye, which was covered by a bandana on his head. What the hell had happened to him? It didn't matter, she wasn't losing him again. She stood up, and began to call forth flames that scorched the concrete beneath her. They burned furiously, creeping around her almost like snakes.

Sigment was impressed, to say the least. Thirty years ago, she couldn't conjure enough fire to light a candle. Knowing he had support was comforting, but why her? He was at least glad she could defend herself. "You sure about this?" She merely nodded in response. They both were ready, and their opponents looked to be tired of waiting. But, as Sigment drew his blade, the ground began to shake violently. The group started screaming that it was an earthquake, before the ground dropped out from under them, sending them falling into the newly formed pit.

"What... was that?", said a bewildered Karra.

"Someone with good timing." Sigment looked over behind them to see Sonya, her fist still steaming from the impact into the ground. She knelt down to catch her breath, chuckling a bit.

"Whew, I think I put more into that than I needed to!"

As she approached them, Karra stared at the woman, then at Sigment. Her eyes narrowed, and her smile quickly became a frown. The look had Sigment nervously asking, "Why~ are you staring at me like that?"

"No reason..."

Looking for an excuse to change the subject, he turned to Sonya. "Did you have any luck?"

She grinned at him. "Yep, this was the best one yet. We've got a genuine sighting." Suddenly, Sigment became quiet. His fists became tight, and he grit his teeth. His eyes narrowed as he responded.

"...Where?"

"Aren't ya curious how I got this? It wasn't ex-"

"Don't fuck with me, Sonya! Where the hell is it?!"

She could see he was all too eager to find their quarry, so she stopped. "At Scafell Pike. There's a new-tech facility that's been built at it's peak. The Project Leader there claims to have seen a giant wolf in the area." If this was true, this was his best chance to find this thing, and make it pay for the blood it had spilled. He didn't say a word, and began to walk away. Karra grabbed his arm, refusing to let go.

"I'm going with you. Don't even try to leave without me." He was about to refuse, but she continued. "I'm not about to let you out of my life again. I'll deal with what I have to, then we can go." She was as persistent as always. At this point, he had no hope of changing her mind.

"Fine. Do what you have to. We leave as soon as you're done."

In an hour, she had said her goodbyes. As expected, it wasn't easy for her or those she knew. Afterwards, the three of them departed on the first transport headed North. Sigment was grinning the entire time. At long last... the White Wolf was within reach.
...

_________________________________________________

Alright, that's it for now. I once again apologize for keeping everyone waiting and will try get the next chapter out much more quickly. Jikai made!

Oh, one last thing. Jihi in Japanese means "mercy". Hopefully that helps explain that combat style.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Wed Jul 24, 2013 3:47 am

Break Time!
Kurosai Chronicles info post.

I would like to take this Break Time to do something I should've done from the start. Truth is, this wasn't just my project. In the beginning, I had help from two close friends of mine, and I would like to acknowledge them here. Amanda and Brenton, they gave me several character and story ideas that led to this point. Karra was one of Brenton's characters, and Sonya belonged to Amanda, though at the time, that wasn't her name. Originally Sigment was going to be a bounty hunter, with the White Wolf being a high-risk bounty that he was pursuing for the same reasons that he is now.

There were many different ways that we intended to bring the story forward, but eventually we stopped contacting each other. I decided to do this to not let the work we did go to waste. Please do not ask me about their whereabouts, or additional information regarding them. That is my personal business, and I will not be kind about it if people choose to invade my privacy regarding the matter.

With that, I am hoping to have Chapter Five out as soon as possible. I thank those that have bothered to read my story so far, and encourage further feedback from those who have commented.
"Stick around... I'm full of bad ideas." -Isaac Clarke
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:39 pm

I'll get back to reading your story in a bit. Working on your character, and doing some other stuff. When I have time, I'll look through and comment, if my comments are allowed, that is.
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Re: Sigment Kurosai: Kurosai Chronicles: Original work: Ongoing

Postby Sigment » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:49 pm

Always are, Blood.
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