Fan-fiction, short stories, screenplays, poems -- anything text-based really belongs here.
Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:02 pm
Gah, what is my virtue? I know it is close but I must find it and hold fast to it.. though I'll be missing a crucial element.
Thu Feb 28, 2013 3:22 pm
For me it comes with a price. I sleep with blissful chaos and am awoken by the reminder of reality not containing such beauties.
That's how it is for everyone isn't it? Compared to what perfection we can imagine reality is a pebble of bedrock while our imagination is an evergrowing diamond... with tumors here and there but on the underside.
I'll admit that I want to unleash my creativity and show the world who or what I am. But it's a painful process, not the creative part but the ending of it.
When I am forcefully broken out of my creative mindset I feel a strange deep fear explode within me. This fear is unlike any I've felt before, it isn't fear for my safety like when I drive a car on snowy roads but a fear for others.
Others I can't quite describe. They exist in my head and some would say they are not real. But reality is reality because it affects you. With that in mind these Others are very real to me. And I love them so very much, they compliment me but will be honest with me when I make mistakes. They are very forgiving and will give me support when I'm being attacked.
They are many and one at the same time. They take the form of one sometimes and sometimes the form of many. They understand that I cannot communicate with them all simultaneously, even trying gives me pain and sorrow. So I talk to them in form of an individual. I like to call her Mystery, she's not always human and she's not always a pleasant individual. But she means well and is not afraid to be the second opinion.
So then, we must go. I have errands to run and frankly I don't like being late.
Sat Mar 09, 2013 6:31 am
Well folks, for the longest time I have been searching for something. Like every individual ever I have been faced with a problem and I have been searching for the answer. It's been nibbling at me for quite some time but I am almost I have found it if not an immediate answer then at the very least a way to go about solving.
I may or may not have a terrible way with words so I would appreciate forgiveness if I screw this up or come of as some kind of naive fool.
I'm not the kind of person to talk to anyone over the internet so I typically avoid forum sites such as this one. At first I was merely here to observe small but still somewhat active topics in order to compare them to larger versions on other websites to see if size determines how much they fit stereotypes of any specific fandom or hater of said fandom. The results were logical in that the members of the smaller group retained individuality as opposed to the larger which seemed to quickly devolve into a collective grey mush where one person could be told apart from another merely by name and avatar.
Upon the conclusion of said recreational observation I slowly began to interact with Snafu specifically, upon encountering various unexpected obstacles I felt myself become discouraged but I did not simply give up and go elsewhere. When I realized how determined I was I surprised myself as no other forum site had hooked me to it before.
I continually found myself enthralled by the people and their conversations on this site and I didn't know why. Either case as I continued with my life outside of the interwebs I found myself lacking inspiration. To solve this problem I read and viewed many a creative work to find where people get their inspiration, they often said nature, a memory or a dream but after much pondering I see that many of them left out a significant source. People, more specifically their significant others. I need to find people I can relate to and be myself around. This has somewhat proven itself to be difficult as I am quite a quiet person and often avoid social interactions and get-togethers due to my unfortunate natural sensitivities to light and sound.
But these are obstacles that CAN be passed. Especially now that I see how much I want the interaction I have been naturally avoiding. It's funny how when you hear someone talk about it or say its important it doesn't feel that way.
It's the kind of thing that has to be felt because even the most beautiful chain of words cannot describe its complex random beauty.
Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:31 pm
Very interesting True Order.
Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:41 pm
Thank you Monsieur blood.
Tue Mar 26, 2013 2:25 am
One thing to never forget:
"Some of the brightest beings come from the dark."
Also, something less profound:
"Enjoy the drill." I said this as my friend boosted me on to a platform while he was completely unaware of the large behemoth with a drill hand rushing him. Needless to say he was impaled and that this was in a video game.
Also in that same game I need to remember that Ada has a schizophrenic hallucination that helps her fight her enemies. This vision haunts her and yet, is a part of her.
Good times in RE6.
Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:52 am
True Order wrote:"Some of the brightest beings come from the dark."
True dat- and some of the darkest beings come from the light.
Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:11 am
Thanks. I am particularly fond of contrasting statements where "the A is ____est in some relation to the Z. Z being the opposite of A. A well known example being "It's always darkest before the dawn." Yeah.
Personally were I to reword this:
BirdofTerror wrote:some of the darkest beings come from the light.
I'd turn darkest to dimmest. Light being what most people pay attention to and dark being what people don't notice, fear or stay away from.
So I'm pretty much saying that some of the smartest people go unnoticed and some of the stupidest people get far too much attention. A pity.
Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:23 pm
3 notes. 2 for me and one for the general.
1. Blood demon tearing itself out of a deer.
2. My virtue is trust.
3. I'm starting to think that due to the abundance of technological development in the last 20 years our species has not quite adapted to it collectively. This semi-adaptation has led to so many unique branches of development that, in whole, our changes look like a grey mass. Something to look in to.
Thu May 09, 2013 9:56 am
Today or rather a couple of days ago I learned that randomness is a double edged sword (dipped in some kind of snake venom that causes muscle spasms). There are times where random thinking can bring some truly creative ideas to the surface and there are other times where the ideas it brings are very stupid. Like any weapon one must know how to hone and use the randomness carefully.
Great things can come from it.
Also I imagine the sword of random looking something THIS
Wed May 29, 2013 8:11 pm
I sensed it again today. That which I have been searching for, though I can't describe it, at least I don't think so.
I was continuing my observations and readings of various fandom forums and the like when the internet habit known as The Drift led me to a topic on what was apparently about a Hentai, an adult anime. The users in the topic were discussing what they liked or didn't like about it and the various absurdities of it that which are common in this kind of media. What they were mainly discussing were concepts that are discussed in all forms of anime, the quality of the animation, writing, concepts, voice acting and et cetera. Some liked this and that others disagreed and so on. It was at this time I felt it.
So what does this mean? What is it that I am feeling? This sensation nibbling at my back and bits of my brain?
I can throw an extremely well educated guess, since I am getting pretty good at understanding my brain.
I surmise that what I'm sensing is an absurdity, a problem, a knot so to speak. There are all these little groups on the internet, some small, some big. Each group no matter the size has something they collectively like or show interest in, and such groups often have a collective hate, that which they oppose or strongly disagree with.
While many of the receivers of the collective hate (debatebly) deserve it, others don't and those undeserving are often picked as a target purely because they are different. I hate that.
That random group of posters discussing an episode of a hentai could be called the impure anime fans compared to the non-adult anime watchers. I've read what has been said about such impure individuals by the self proclaimed "pure" anime fans. What they say are all stereotypes and nothing more. There was little true difference between the two groups aside from the content they were discussing. But that one little detail gives them enough of a reason to hate them.
DIFFERENT= SOMETHING WE SHOULD HATE
My fucking GOODNESS, do you hear that? That statement has been stomped into many if not all of our minds over and over and over again since the beginning our existence and if anything is true it's not that.
As we grow up, I'd like to think that most grow out of this manner of thinking, but as the general media has proven, in more ways than one, even some of the maturest of individuals still possess this manner of thinking.
So what do we do about this? How does this problem get solved?
I don't know, I really just don't know.
But this whole thing has re-confirmed some facts:
"People can use any little reason to hate another."
"People can be so very blind in the worst of ways."
It's just as a very wise hell-spawn once said:
"You humans are so stupid. You're technology has the power to bring you so much closer to one another and yet you have never been farther apart."
Hmm. Far too complex an issue for any single person to solve....
Wed May 29, 2013 8:16 pm
People have always been afraid of things that they don't understand.
Wed May 29, 2013 8:45 pm
Me? I like to think I'm the opposite.
Mystery is my muse after all. Though I have yet to truly unleash her power.
Thanks for the post btw.
Wed May 29, 2013 9:53 pm
I also like to think that I try to understand everyone's position or view or interests, even if I don't believe or like it myself.
Thu May 30, 2013 8:54 am
I can appreciate that kind of mindset.
And I like to think the rest of the world would to, but I can't speak for them.
Apologies if this post did not make sense or was not applicable, I currently have a massive migraine caused by sleep deprivation and the usual.
Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:15 am
As we toil about our day to day activities we think. While on the outside it may appear to be the same day as always on the inside things are always different. Like a security check line at an airport there are many thoughts in queue and possibly a decent amount being thought about simultaneously. The way people think is determined by the brilliant combo of nature and nurture.
Disregarding some social and psychological labels we shall generalize the two different mental processors of thought into two labels: Logic and Emotion. A majority of the people of the world have mixed the two together in varying fashions, such that it can be hard to tell what is logic and what is emotion. These people are not of interest to me as they can vary from emotional wrecks to machines of efficiency and can be exceptionally complex, too complex for my taste. But for the sake of this whatever you want to call it, we shall label these people as the Random Regulars.
Other people think with only one of the aforementioned processors and phase out the other completely. While this type may sound inferior to the Random Regular these kind of people can prove to be extremely skilled in whatever field they find interest in but in exchange sacrifice both the burdens and benefits of whichever side they "abandoned" so to speak. For the sake of labeling these types, let's call these guys the One-siders. To give a rough summary of each type of One-sider: the Logical one will often function better in school but will have a tough time connecting to other people and the Emotional one will often be the exact opposite. Both sides are occasionally called "lacking common sense" due to whatever "sense" they lack be it social or reasonable or etc.
The Random Regulars are often jealous of One-siders because the One-siders sort of "know" their place in the world while the RanReg are conflicted and typically unsure of their place for a time. But as interesting as the One-siders are I wish to focus on the third type.
Not everyone can find their happy medium by mixing the two processors nor by focusing solely on one. These kind of people have both processors but keep them separate despite how normally they form together. We shall label this type as the Torn. Torn people are not to be confused with logical people with emotional consciences or vice versa. I find myself comparing the Torn to the typical Angel/Devil on your shoulders thing. But the difference with the Torn is that there is no middle man between the two and the two processors are not simply an angel and a devil, they are similar yet different like two priests of different beliefs arguing over every detail.
I mentioned before that the RanReg have difficulties finding their "place" in the world due to conflicting thoughts well the Torn have the same problem only worse like two heads in one body who want to live entirely different lives. The Torn are named so because they will be indecisive towards everything if only internally for a second. Torn will have contradicting personality traits such as being aggressive and shy and being energetic and tired. It really is kind of like there are two personalities in one head but they share a mouth. It's really interesting and complex to me and I wish to look further into this kind of person.....
OOPS my alarm just went off I got to go. Hope this makes sense.....
Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:49 am
I NIX THE FORMER PROJECT AND CAST IT INTO THE PIT OF INFINITE UNKNOWN.
Now I ponder upon this: Emotion
I've been thinking an awful lot about emotions lately. Humans are such horrifyingly complex creatures and complexity is like any quality in that it is good in certain contexts while it is bad in others. A massive encyclopedia on medicine or a short pamphlet on the same subject, both would be most useful in certain scenarios.
Emotion is the same way, it is complex and not always useful. In fact, many people prefer to hide it all away, to bury it under anything they can. Gifts, affection, work and even pain. But no matter how much you try or how much you squirm you cannot rid yourself of it. It ferments when in the dark and only grows stronger as time passes. Like a flood being held back by a damn when it breaks free it shall be utterly destructive and bring an uncertain amount of suffering.
But in a way the water is better off not being held back by a damn, it may benefit the area in necessary ways. Emotion is much the same way in that it has its positives especially when you learn to work with it.
Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:30 am
I like reading fanfics but I hate writing them because decanonization is inevitable.
Sure you're not supposed to care but either way I end up writing in automatically uncanonistical settings.
My thanotos (or is it Xanatos?) feelings keep making me not want to create. I'd rather have them not exist than experience the pain of existence.
I hate making my characters suffer, they don't deserve it. Even if I made the most evil baby eating monstrosity I can't make them suffer just for entertainment because I made them that way.
I don't quite understand why I care so much about the characters I've made but I do. I suppose they all represent some part of me, a concept or person I know.
But even if I imagine my sworn enemy or just a douchenozzle I can't hurt them in anyway without feeling guilty for it.
A quiet but thoughtful student named Jordan opened his locker to get his books just like he did every school day morning. But unlike every other day the school jerk named David decided to bother Jordan by attempting false insults and bring up rumors.
Jordan ignored him and continued getting his books finally shutting the locker once done. As Jordan stood up, carrying his books, David knocked the books out of Jordan's hands scattering them on the floor.
"Oops, butterfingers." Proclaimed David as he chuckled and began to strut away.
Jordan scowled while picking up his books doing his best to not show his irritation too well. He heard David yelp and turned towards the source to see that David had slipped on some apparent wet or slick spot on the floor.
David groaned from whatever pain the fall caused and couldn't get up.
"Strange how things turn out. Isn't it?" Said Jordan carrying his books to David only to drop them on his face.
"Oh oops, butterfingers. I really should have a better grip." Stated Jordan sarcastically.
David was out cold now, how exactly that happened so easily I can't say but David was indeed out cold.
Jordan scanned up and down the hall way and was surprised to see that no one was in the entire hallway but him and David.
Jordan was really rather sick of David's pointless habit of irritating everyone and perhaps for a bit of revenge decided to stomp on David's face a single time.
David was still out cold but was clearly bruised. Jordan considered the scenario and decided what to do next.
While there was no one around he decided to simply leave David as he was instead of causing him further harm.Jordan swiftly picked up his books and left for class while he could see himself stomping David's face in as a means of ridding the world of another idiot and releasing some stress he knew better.
Crap. I was going to kill David, that was my plan I was going to stomp his face in and watched the blood slowly but surely spill unto the floor. But I didn't, I just let him live after stomping him once. I couldn't go through with it.
The hell is wrong with me?
Perhaps I haven't learned of the lack of direct consequences for what happens in my work.
Fri Sep 13, 2013 5:43 am
It's easier to see when something is bias if you are on the short end.
Sat Sep 28, 2013 3:28 am
Of course, when the bias benefits you thinking about it is inconvenient
Tue Oct 01, 2013 9:00 am
Yeah..... sucks though. It's one of those things, the kind where if it wasn't true the world would be a better place. But I got no room to squawk about it.
Anywho Tuor, I imagine you have at the very least skimmed bits here in this thread. Could you tell me if I have anything here very halloween-esque or particularly scary?
I look at it all and I just see my artist's bias making everything appear too crappy or too good such a lofty opinion as that can't be trusted.
Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:15 am
Ya, I'll take a look when I get a chance and I'm not on my phone
Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:44 am
Thank you very much! ^^
Wed Oct 02, 2013 10:03 pm
Quick self-analysis on my rhetoric method. Not the most reliable method but I feel a need to do this.
I'm pretty damn good at this. I'm pretty rational and I'd say decently aware of myself and other things so I can look deep(ish) and find a logical reason for something even if it is generally illogical. Kinda.
I'd say I'm decent at this. Sometimes when I read over some of my older stuff here I feel more emotion than I actually felt at the time of typing it. Even if I don't practice what I preach I feel some decent feels from some of my work and some good vibes.
ZERO. This is pretty standard here on the interwebs. Getting credibility is not easy and is not really something one should straight up go for. Just do your thing and if you get it, then that's awesome. But don't be discouraged if you don't get it. Note to self.
Estimated numerical representation:
Well. Numerically estimated, this doesn't look good. I'm just gonna shrug that bit off. Half tempted to delete it. But I won't for genuine's sake
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