Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Epic Fantasy adventure)

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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Thu Apr 17, 2014 4:07 pm

This chapter's probably going to end up longer than the intended 5,000words (5,000words for the final chapter of each act), but it's just so I can continue building the feud that's going on and the conflict going through Elsandra's mind, plus the match needs to be 2,500words and this chapter is almost 2,500words already, but ah well.

Act 3: chapter 13

I still considered what Kanaya said. Sure, I didn’t want UWF to become a place where wrestlers put each other such horror for the entertainment of the fans, but it felt wrong to hold back against a monster like Judith, it felt like she would be getting away with what she did.

“I am not letting you jump on me to perform some stupid move that’s not going to work,” growled Bill Yanks sitting beside me.

“And it’s that attitude that will make it not work,” responded the British Ludicrous sitting on the other side.

“You know I’m going to make it a vow not to team up with clowns after No Return. Not that I had a choice.”

Roy Bandit had found out that both the British Ludicrous and Bill Yanks had repainted his bike pink. He had teamed up with Rick Thunder who was thriving to reclaim a shred of relevance after Bill Yanks made him look like a jobber, which really he was, at Night of Gladiators. Henry Frodrick had then accepted the request, needing to fill up the No Return card anyways and granted it as a no disqualification match, much to Bill Yank’s discomfort.

Not wanting to be alone at another Pay-per-view anyway, I sought out Bill Yanks, but didn’t mean to find the British Ludicrous. Not that I had anything against the British clown, but there was times when it was hard to put up with him.

“How about we do rock paper scissors?” offered the British Ludicrous.

“How about I be the one that jumps on you and crashes haphazardly instead?”

“Yeah, could do rock paper scissors to see how could jump on who.”

I needed to stop this conservation before it got anymore stupid. “Uh Bill Yanks.”


Trying to think of something, it struck me that Bill Yanks would’ve watched wrestling for as long as me, probably as long as Kanaya. “Do you recall Max to the limit?”

“You mean Hardcore blood wrestling?”

Bingo. “Yeah, but you know how Garbet Jin and Kurt Blaze’s feud made it become Hardcore blood wrestling.”

“In theory yeah?”


“Well people think it might have been Garbet Jin and Kurt Blaze’s feud that made it become Hardcore blood wrestling. I think it had more to with bad management and wrestlers just kept feuding with the same opponents over and over that only way to fix it were to reach out to bloodthirsty fans, there’s not much that’s needed to entertain them, just grab a traffic sign and split some’s head open with it and ta-da. Not many other shows solely catered to fans into that kind of thing.”

“So thinking of the possibilities, as in say an out of control feud that got so out of hand that fans demanded to see another that it could change UWF like it dd to MLW?”

“Very unlikely. Anarchists has had heck of a messy feud with both Eidolon and Henry Frodrick. People do want to see Anarchist involved in another indeed, it’s why No Return is so packed is to see him and Eidolon have another ugly and brute fight. But the fact that other matches still sell and we have wrestlers like Impact who are still more popular than him shows Ultimate wrestling federation will be fine the way it is.”

I was so glad now to have spoken to Bill Yanks. Now I had no problem with tearing into Twisted Judith.

“I’m not too sure though about the diva division,” said the British Ludicrous.

“What are you talking about?” asked Bill Yanks.

“Well the divas division hasn’t gained any real interest since things got a bit more violent. Already Twisted Judith’s gotten more likes on her UWF page than Lolli Cute almost instantly and the no disqualification bout between Elsandra here and Lolli Cute is number one diva match video on the web.”

“I really need to start using the internet,” sighed Bill Yanks. “But Twisted Judith just has an appealing character and it will be of what events transpired that, like the beginning of Elsandra’s main event run and Henry Frodrick’s assault on her.”

“Say what you will Bill, but you both have to admit that before you had to admit there was criticism over the divas not having that many special feuds or matches that could compete with us male counterparts.”

The British Ludicrous was right. Unlike the men who fought for pride and glory, divas ended up fighting out of jealousy and simple spite. Even Kanaya and Lolli Cute’s feud was just because the two simply didn’t like each other. Our matches weren’t even as grim or special as the ones I had been fighting, diva’s packaged each other away in less than five minutes and they didn’t prove they could take as much punishment.

“True, but!” His hand slapped me. I really hated it when he so called patted me on the back. “But Elsandra here is leading the divas division. She’s showing them what a real feud is like and how a match should be done.”

“Thanks,” I croaked. I nicely removed Bill’s hand. “But I don’t think I’m that big an influence on the diva position.”

“Everyone treats the diva division a lot more seriously because of you. The divas division has like only gotten this much attention since you rose and come on you’re the current divas champion. Did you also know that you’re one of the top selling merchandises?”

“I am?”

“Yeah you’re the top selling Diva at the moment and you’re actually behind me in sells.”

“I am also ahead of you both.”

“Well you do have one of the cheapest clown merchandise on the market.”

I never knew that. It was strange talking about top selling merchandise especially since it was rare that divas made much selling merchandise. “How far up am I?”

“You’re seventh.”


“Yep. You are a big sell, there’s no doubting that. So trust me when you are an influence and turning the entire diva division into something for the better.”

“Yeah, that’s cool.” I didn’t know what to think of this though. “Is it alright if I leave you guys?”

“Yeah sure,” said the two of them. Bill Yanks then asked. “What’s up though it you don’t mind me asking?”

“Just want to address the audience I think.”

“Ah yes,” said the British Ludicrous. “One thing you’ve never done since you became a champion is address the crowd, a marvellous way to boost merchandise sells even further.”

“It’s more to do with hoping Tammy and Kanaya are watching.”

“Couldn’t you just phone them?” asked Bill Yanks.

“Sort of just a message I want to give them.”

“Okay, but do remember that they will be watching,” said the British Ludicrous. “And they’ll be wanting you to do one of your famous honour bond matches within the arena.”

“Yeah… thanks.”

As I left them, I couldn’t help but feel the British Ludicrous was onto more than what I thought. It didn’t change the fact though that I had become this big face of the divas. It felt so overburdening and heavy to know that so much lay in your hands. Like sure I had enjoyed being this popular diva, but not one that had so much responsibility. It stopped me from giving the retribution I wanted so badly.

I came across the crew staff. “I want to address the audience.”

He gave me a dumb look and checked his watch quickly. “Sure-sure, they’re all yours for ten minutes, but no longer than that, this is a pay-per-view we’ve got going, not a regular show.”

Ten minutes would do. I gave the backstage crew some time and then went out into the arena. People screamed as they saw me, I wanted to scream when I saw them. They celebrated No Return with the pay-per-view’s colour of red all of them, even face paint on their shirts. They also seemed more restless and abhorrent. Barely any of them were children or parents and that was what dominated our fan base.

I took a deep breath however and made my way to the ring. I stepped in and took a microphone and turned to the audience. This felt so much different now indeed now that I was champion or it could’ve just been the high testosterone males everyone with their tongues out.

I quivered. “Hi.” The crowd responded with cheer that felt like a wave hit against me. Had to do this though, needed to say what I wanted to say. “I know I haven’t came out to talk to you really, I’ve probably never came out to talk to you… But I’m out here to talk to you know about what happened at the last UWF show, the show where Twisted Judith had hospitalized my two best friends in the world, Tammy and Kanaya.” The crowd had become respectfully silent or were maybe just that interested in what I had to say.
“What Twisted Judith did was beyond what anyone on this show should do, even a monster. Twisted Judith had earned her victory after she shoved Tammy off the corner and nearly knocked her out like that. Tammy had become helpless, no longer a threat to her. She should’ve just got the cover and won… But no… Instead she had brought out a baseball bat… a foreign object… and acted like a mindless barbarian as she used it to break apart Tammy and Kanaya, for what? To get a violent one-on-one cage match with me for No Return?”

There was a mixed reaction from the crowd. It mostly tried to celebrate however, which was discomforting.

“Trust me; I want to bring the violence, not to make Twisted Judith happy or give, you the audience what she did, but to make her regret she did it. People though have been asking me not to, that I don’t need to get revenge for my two best friends and it’s just what can happen at times at UWF and I should just concentrate winning the match. What’s more is that I never realised what a big influence I had become and some think it’s because of the violence that happened in my no-disqualification match with Lolli Cute. That if this match with Twisted Judith ends up as a bigger sell than my two other Pay per view matches then it’ll bring a hardcore era for divas, where things will have changed from divas trying to win with their skill and for dignity to girls just trying to make each other bleed and inflict hate upon each other.”

The mixed reaction was stronger now. They got excited by the idea of women hurting each other just as much and some were calling out to try and tell me what to do. It was just sick and wrong, but this was the No Return crowd. I just hoped this is what the regular crowd was like to.

“Tammy and Kanaya have both requested themselves not to give in and just win.” The crowd at least gave a respectful silence for the two. “But sorry… Tammy… And Kanaya… I can’t let her get away with what she did.” The crowd cheered, but I silenced them with a snap of my voice. “The reason I wasn’t there at UWF was because I was looking after Tammy’s two nieces and nephews, I sat with them and watched as that freak mauled their aunt and her best friend like they meant nothing to the world. They were there crying asking me if their aunt would be alright and I had no idea what to say. What’s worse was that I couldn’t do anything without leaving them; I had to sit there and watch until I could bear no more and switched off the television… add to that was that you hospitalized both of them Twisted Judith, two girls who did nothing to you but competed in a match. Sorry Tammy and Kanaya, but I’m giving what Twisted Judith wants, but don’t worry if she gets pushed because of this match, because she’s not going to be returning from No return, I’ll make sure of that.”

The Jumbotron then switched on and there was Twisted Judith. “You have no idea how happy this makes me feel,” she squealed. “Like yes, so yes I am happy. Like I forgot you had this whole honour bond thing going on and I was worried that it would get in the way of the fun we’d be having in our match, but yee!” She jumped in place. “This is going to be exciting.”

I snarled into the microphone. “You just don’t realise how much trouble you’re in.”

“Why? Because I’ve been a bad girl,” she moped. “Well if you wanted to be there for me clobbering both Tammy and Kanaya, you should’ve brought the kids. They might have had front row seats.”

“You’re a sick freak of nature and I am going to remove you from this company myself when I break both your legs.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” whispered Judith nodding. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

It felt hopeless how I she wasn’t getting it and the crowd was loving it. They were chanting and clapping as I let her get to me. They’d have a different reaction though when I did finish Judith’s career.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories

Postby GrimlyLoveGunner » Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:15 pm

*Almost forgot to stop by here. 8D*

Holy crap, that was almost creepy. Elsandra wrestling with what to do. D8


This's gunna be fun. 8D weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

So the story's almost done then? VS Judith is gonna be the finale? Daaaayum. XD Now I'm worried cuz I KNOW something big's gonna hafta happen.

Bill just keeps sounding bigger and bigger. Like, he could take two fingers and snap off Elsandra's head like a pair of scissors. XD
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:47 pm

Actually the whole thing's half way, after Judith starts the half way point, the road to the big event where things actually start building, this is more or less been about establishing Elsandra as a big name in UWF.

I'm still writing it, but it's grinding slowly (I only recommenced writing it yesterday) as I'm working on the project we're working on with Snow Diggity, working on Anarchy's Will which I can give you what I've already done since, finishing the script for the one-shot of Shattered Realms, working on another ambitious story and to put on top of all that is my comic work. So I'm afraid it may take a long while until I can get anywhere with this, but it means Stooie won't have to catch up on this project all at once.

But yeah, this has only just begun.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
An obsessed freak
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Thu Apr 24, 2014 5:32 pm

Okay, got a sudden burst to finish this chapter. Guess if I'm going to be really slowing down a lot it shouldn't be during a climatic match.

I'll have to warn though that I pushed myself to do the first half of this fight, but the second I got re-motivated out of nowhere, but do hope the match is enjoyable as this one I had planned when I decided to turn it into something pass 50,000+ words. (Right now it's 45,930words!!)

Chapter 3: Act 19

I sat in the locker room, silent and alone, waiting for it, waiting for the moment, waiting for my chance at revenge.

The door was barraged open and the girls screamed as Bill Yanks stormed in.

“Sorry, I get trying to get you the come up but I guess I’m just going to have to come in!”

“Last month it was the British Ludicrous and now you!” snapped one of the changing crew members.

Bill Yanks sat down beside me. “Look I heard what you just said out there and are you crazy. You’re actually going to throw aware who you are to get back at someone! We don’t-.”

“Go into the ring to brawl, we go in there to wrestle, I know!” I hissed. “But I need to put her out Twisted Judith out of commission so she doesn’t bring do anything like she just did to Tammy and Elsandra or the people who had to bear witness to what she did.”

“You serious, you’re going to try and destroy another wrestler’s career? What sort of message do you suppose that brings to the other wrestlers? Imagine Anarchist if he stopped bothering to try and bury wrestlers and just went ahead and broke them.”

“Then he’s a greater cretin than what any of us thought. What I’m trying to do here is different. I’m putting an end to a monster.”

“That monster is still seen as a diva who you’re in a feud with!” snapped Bill Yanks. “People will get the idea that’s how you take out the trash and you can’t do that. It’s bad enough that you’re bring in an age of hardcore for divas, but to end people’s careers.”

I stormed up. “Just stop it! All of you! I need this! I need to put this monster to an end alright and I will do that right here tonight!”

Bill Yanks lowered his head. “Fine, but I hope you’ll be aware of the people you’ll be letting down.”

I didn’t care, I just needed to stop Twisted Judith, on my own terms.

“Um Elsandra,” whispered one of the crewmembers peeking through. “You’re match is next.”

I marched off leaving Bill Yanks and headed for the ring.


Made my way inside the structure, I cringed at what history this torment imprisonment had. I had watched the matches between Eidolon and Anarchist take place here. I watched as Impact did battle against Apex. I had seen the match between the British Ludicrous and Pristine Adonis. All those matches that took part in here had put all its wrestlers to the extreme and pushed them to barbaric lengths and now I was about to my barbaric lengths to the limit.

I stepped in through the doors and then waited for her.

Her chilling entrance sounded. The crowd cheered again, they cheered when they watched that maniacal wretch make her way to the ring where I’d make sure I’d put an end to her.

She stopped behind the wall of the cage and stared at me.

“Come on then!” I yelled. She gave me a sly snigger and then started dancing.

“What the,” said Fred

I threw myself at the cage fence. “What are you doing you harlot.”

“Just getting my warm ups done.” She spun and waved at the crowd. “And now I’m waving at the people cheering me... I wonder how many cheered when they saw me smash your friends with a baseball-.”

“Raaagh!” I rushed out of the cage door. Twisted Judith turn and ran. “Get back here!”

The crowd cheers were louder as we ran a full circle around the cage. Twisted Judith leapt into the structure and I pursued, but the cage door blamed onto my forehead as I tried to climb in.

“Oh!” cringed Fred. “Match hasn’t begun yet and Twisted Judith already is already in control with those mean psychology tactics.”

The cretin laughed at me and I climbed in, making sure to slam the door behind me.

The referee got us into our corners as we stared down at each other. The referee wouldn’t be much use for this match, all she would be would be to get in the way.

She called for the bell and the match official began.

“Here we go!” warned Jim.

The crowd screamed as me and Judith crashed into one another, my elbow knocking her cheek and her foot kicking my shin. We stumbled back. Judith struck a punch at my face and I returned with a headbutt to the forehead. She staggered back and I was about to kick, but she kicked me right between the legs!

“Ooh! No rules and Twisted Judith’s hitting her where she likes!” shouted Jim.

“So long as she doesn’t hurt the place I like most I’m fine with it,” said Fred. “And I’m talking about those knockers.”

I collapsed onto my knees holding myself. I then just managed to see Judith bounce off the ropes, I was prepared to dodge, but then she just threw herself at me. She slammed me to the mat sitting on me and slapped and banged my head.

“Are you enjoying yourself? I am!” She smacked my head down and gave me some space. “Get up and fight!”

I pushed myself and braced myself until I noticed she was just wavering around laughing at everything around her.

“I think Judith forgot to take her pills before coming to the match,” noted Fred.

I watched her bizarre manoeuvres until she kicked me in the face, hitting me off my feet.

“Keep your head in the game!” screamed Judith.

I got up again whilst she laughed out mad. She then tried to kick again, but I caught her foot, threw it aside and elbowed her down into the mat. I was astounded that she just laughed.

I kicked her and yelled. “Quit laughing!” But she just kept on.

I kicked at her again, but she rolled back and got to her feet.

We circled one another around the mat.

“What are you waiting for?” asked Judith. “Whatever it is, do you think it’ll give me time to hit Tammy with a baseball bat again!”

I screamed and rushed at her. She moved out of the way and threw my face into the steel fence.

“Ow! That fence grates faces!” Fred hollored. “Be careful!”

Judith stamped my face into the steel fence.

“Are you ready to fight me for real yet!” she demanded.

When I got up onto the top rope to lean on, she grabbed my head and grinded my face against the steel fence. I felt the hard edges gritted against my face, it wasn’t something I had felt before and I didn’t think it would be this bad.

I eventually elbowed Judith off me, but then she elbowed my head into fence. Whilst I was stunned, she grabbed hold of me and threw me across the ring. I caught myself on my hands, but was kicked by both of Judith’s feet into the surface.

“Oh come on!” shouted Fred.

“Is this the best you can do!” yelled Judith. “Is this the best you can do!”

It wasn’t. I jumped back to my feet and struck Judith. The crowd cringe as she was sent spinning around the arena. While she was stunned, I crashed into her shoulder first, hitting her into the ropes and banging her head into the steel fence.

She laughed though as she got up. “Yeah, that’s it that’s what I’m looking for!”

“Trust me!” I screamed. “This is not what you had in mind!”

I ran up, ramming against her and shoving her face into the fence and grinded it.

“Oh! Never seen girls behave like this! Have you Fred!?”

“Never in my life. Makes it seem they should go for a good spanking from their mothers!”

“Think they could let me do the spanking?”
“Speaking of mothers!” muffled Judith under my hands. “Wonder what Tammy’s mommy was thinking-!”

I punched her into the steel wall and let her bounce off.

“Keep pushing me!” I yelled.

She laughed. “If you insist!”

“Gaargh!” I held up one of her legs and then stamped it back down to the mat, savouring Judith’s yelp.

“Ow! That is sure to have damaged the leg!” called Fred.

“I am going to destroy you one by one!” I promised.

I picked up the other leg, but Judith kicked me back and got up. “My turn!”

She jumped against me and slammed us into the corner post. As I tried to recover, she snatched me off my feet, causing the back of my head to crash into the post.

I couldn’t make out what was going on until I realised I was being held over Judith’s shoulder. She rammed my body right into the steel. My body fell, but it went behind the ropes trapped between the steel.

“Oh no,” gulped Jim. “She’ not!”

Judith hurled against me and splatted me into the raw steel. The impact loosened my, but whole body ached. I was then being stomped further against the steel by Twisted Judith.

“This is just cruel and inhumane!” noted Jim.

She finally let up in order to bask in the glory of the blood hungry crowd, letting me climb out from back out under the ropes.

Back on my feet I again, I charged at her, but she grabbed me by the head and threw me into the corner of the cage again.

I fumbled back down, slump against the corner. When I stroked my forehead, I realised I was bleeding.

“Oh my,” quivered Jim. “It’s rare you see blood in a divas match, I don’t think there’s ever been one in UWF.”

Judith cackled. “I thought we were missing something.”

“No!” I growled. I picked myself back up. I was losing here, losing to her, but I couldn’t. “We’re still missing something!” What she did, she needed to pay. “And that’s you lying in pieces.”

“Well come on then!”

I came at her and hit her with clothesline. When I finished running pass and turned around, Judith was already getting up, perfect. I rammed into her and picked her up to slam into the pair grid. Keeping a hold of her, I did it again and again. After the third time, I threw her back down onto the mat and caught my breath leaning on the ropes.

“Th-this is just violent,” gawked Fred.

Not violent enough. This freak was slump on the mat regaining herself, but I hooked up both legs and aimed her.

“Oh-oh please no, she’s not going-.”

I fell back and catapulted Judith over me, splatting her entire body onto the steel fence.

The crowd cheered.

“My lord stop it ladies!” shouted Fred on the mic. “Stop it, this isn’t a wrestling match, this is just pure violence.”

“I think that’s the point Fred,” replied Jim. “These girls just want to inflict pain on each other and that’s it.”

And that was right. I got back up and grabbed Judith. I hooked her arm around the rope, I then kneed her hand into the cage causing Judith’s elbow to bend and for her to scream in pain, finally. It almost made me want to allow some mercy, but this vile woman deserved none.

I slammed Judith’s face into the wall and then pressed my boot into the back of her head and kicked. She bounced off with blood slipping from her forehead.

“Now she’s bleeding!” gawked Fred. “Ref! Seriously! Stop this match!”

“Come on Elsandra,” spoke the ref. “This isn’t you!”

“Shut up!” I snapped.

Judith chuckled. She was getting up with a grin on her face. “Yeah, we’re having so much fun here.”

As we stood in the ring holding ourselves up, I could hear the vile audience cheer for us to keep going to keep fighting. It was abhorred. I didn’t care though, that wasn’t what I cared about. What I cared about was getting revenge.

“Elsandra!” Somehow I was able to hear that from outside the crowd. I actually turned away from Judith to see where it was coming from. Up in the audience, I saw these brightly coloured teens and young adults that stood out, holding up signs with my logo and mottos associated with me like honour and dignity. “Don’t stop being who you are!” They shouted. “You’re Elsandra! You fight for honour and with dignity! You don’t let anyone change who you are!”

My view spun around from the damages I was having. But Images flashed back to me, back when I was a kid. I was just a little girl who wanted to inspire the world and be like the superheroes who fought for justice. Then it went to me when I came to UWF. I remember coming in that silly komodo and fake samurai sword to the ring and being laughed at by everyone. It was more to do with how I believed such thing as honour and justice could be upheld in the ring though, but I gained respect as I showed them the passion I had. It then went on to me now, how I became Elsandra, throughout most that time I had been supported and cheered by Tammy and had been moulded and mentored by Kanaya, it was then I realised, this wasn’t me.

I was Elsandra, I knew that, but… but Elsandra would never have brought this. Looking at Judith’s damaged arm and bleeding forehead, this was something Elsandra promised never to bring to a match. She would not want this. Elsandra was not someone who violently fought for revenge, she was someone who would always uphold her honour and dignity and not let any force change who she was.

How was it though that it take me so long to realise I should never do this… Maybe it was because how the fans that were truly loyal to me… hadn’t given up on me… even though I had just done this. They were more Elsandra than I was, the fact that they could not be changed.

“What’s going on!” growled Twisted Judith. “You aren’t given up are you?”

I leered at her. “No!” I slammed my shoulder into her, hitting her down. I then picked up her ankle and twisted it.

“Ack!” yelped Judith. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to win!”

“Win! But if you win the refs will break this up and we won’t be able to fight no more!”

“I don’t care about fighting you!” I screamed. “Not anymore! I just want to win this and move on!”

Judith cried as I rotated her foot. “What about your friends!”

“I will never forgive you for what you did to them! But no amount of violence and blood will make us move on from it! So I’m ending this match and that’ll be the end of it!”

I pulled on her leg, but she made an insane act of going along with the twist that enabled her to lash me off her. I then crashed into the steel fence.

“It looks like the Elsandra we know and truly love is back!” shouted Jim on the mic. “Hopefully now we have a proper wrestling match!”

We both got to our feet, panting and holding ourselves up. It made me smile though how Judith couldn’t.

“Fine! I’ll just keep this match going as long as possible! I’ll make you beg for me to let this match end!”

“We’ll see!”

We ran at each other. Judith tried to punch, but I duck and tackled her. I tightened my arms around her waist and picked her up into a bearhug. Although the bearhug required a lot of strength to be used effectively and better for powerhouses, it was good enough on a worn out opponent who needed to be restrained.

I staggered around with her, managing to keep her up and crush her body against mine. She pressed her hand against my face though and scratched at my eyes.

“Now that’s just dirty!” squealed Jim.

I was tempted to blast her against the steel fence, but there had been enough savagery. Instead I planted her onto the corner post. I then elbowed her, making her sat stunned on it, enabling me to climb on the ropes.

“She can’t be serious!” shouted Fred. “There both too badly hurt for this!”

I was serious. I knew Judith could take a serious amount of punishment for a girl her size. Soon as my feet were on the top ropes, I hooked Judith’s head and hefted her arm over me and hefted her, but then she resisted.

“No!” she yelled grabbing hold of me.

She tried shoving me to get me off. My boots slid against the rope and my body trembled, but I wasn’t giving up! I roared and hauled up Judith. I lifted the other woman over my head and fell back. We timbered backwards and exploded onto the mat.

I could barely make out the overwhelming crowd and commentator reaction. I pulled myself and looked around heard.


The ref was counting to ten for a double knock out.

I needed to win this! A draw would just mean we’d likely have to fight again.

My legs just weren’t getting up though, they felt dead and my arms just couldn’t push from so much exertion.

“Six!” yelled the referee.

Had to use the ropes to get up, I had to get there. I any muscle I could to move there.

“Seven!... Eight!...”

I reached out my hand. The ref was about to call nine, but I was then hefted up onto my knees by Judith! She gave me a horrid grin under that bloody face of hers.

“Saved you from count out didn’t I?” I couldn’t believe this. “Looks like this match isn’t over!”

I could hear the sadistic crowd chant. But I could hear, see and feel the ones who came here to watch a real wrestling match chanting for me to win.

“Yes it is!”

I jumped on her, hooking my arm around her head and used the fuel given by the audience to fall back and slam Judith’s face, bang onto the mat.

We both laid flat out onto the mat with the referee beginning the double count out again. Just enough left in me however, I rolled over Judith as much as I could and flopped over her. It was good enough for the ref to slap the mat.

“One… Two… Three..!”

The bell rung and the crowd screamed.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! She did it!” screamed Fred. “She did it! She did it the way you’re supposed to!”

I did. I had won it as someone I’ll always be, Elsandra.

Author's comments: So now that's a total of three pay-per-view matches Elsandra has endured each with it's own trial. But now with the second biggest pay-per-view (To note, WWE has started renaming the term from PPV to Special due to how they're watched now) following, this will be a boss battle for Elsandra, so things are expected to get just as big... not emotional though... (It's going to be hard to top Judith's crime) and with plenty of build up.
After this though, as a hint, after the second biggest pay per view that's right now still unnamed, things will get just as emotional and big for Elsandra when she begins her run to the biggest main event of UWF.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Tue May 13, 2014 3:57 pm

Gretchen, cultist of the Forgotten Bliss

My life felt so inadequate and unfair. Here I was again repeating another dull day of sorting out clothes.

“Gretchen!” snarled Markus. “Why are the cotton shirts from Ostermark hanging at the window instead of the silk ones from Riekland!”

Over pompous windbag. “Because I checked our inventory and found that the cotton shirts were selling almost four times as much as the silk ones.” It made sense considering the cotton shirts were four times cheaper.

“So you did it intentionally?”

“Yes. As I said, the cotton shirts are selling faster so I figured they’d be selling just as fast if we made it more obvious.”

He squeezed his hands. “Not consulting me about this first is undermining me.”

“Well sorry, but you never listen to me.”

“Because you come up with things like this. Those ragged low-quality shirts make us look like some petty market that only offer to the poor. We want to attract the rich! Make money off them!”

As if that was going to be possible. But there was no point arguing for someone like Markus. “Fine, I’ll go and fix it.”

“Forget it. I’m suspending you for today.”


“I have very little tolerance for undermining and you know that. I’d be a lot less lenient if it wasn’t for the respect I owe your father, as well as how I owe him for saving my life while I did my time in the militia.”

I was almost scared what Markus would’ve done if it weren’t for those reasons. “Fine!”

I stormed out of the store and out onto the streets. How I wish I could leave that miserable store forever and watch it burn to the ground, but it was the best work I could find to support me and my brother. There simply was simply not enough available respectable work for uneducated poor class girls in my town and didn’t have the money to start-.

I had knocked into someone, someone wearing a heavy coat and tall brimmed hat. The man twisted around and showed is menacing scole and scarred face.

“S-s-sorry.” I looked at the assortment of gear and holy symbols strapped to his chest; this man was a witch hunter.

“You in a hurry somewhere?” His voice was like a cackle of flames.

“W-w-well not-not in a hu-hurry. I’m just going ho-home.”

The witch hunter’s eyes searched me. “Have you noticed any suspicion?”

“Wh-what kind?”


“Uh, no! Definitely no!”

His brooding face was an inch apart from mine. “If you should change your mind or find any… Report it to me.”


He turned away and vanished into the crowd.

I wanted to cry. I knew of the witch hunters and their tenacity to hunt out the impure and I had an idea of what they did if found guilty. The way he looked at me was as if I had already been deemed guilty and my head was clenched with the very ideas of what he would do to me.

I wiped away the tears and just hurried to get home. This day had been awful. It was like any other days, but I had been suspended and met the most horrifying man of my life.

I burst into my crummy house and made for my room up the stairs.

“Who’s that!?”

Who was that? I didn’t know that person’s voice and Peter wasn’t home yet to have allowed any guests in. Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse, there was an intruder in my house.

I looked to the door, but the person’s footsteps told he could cut me off at the door. I had to go and hide. I needed to hurry though before he stopped me.

“Wait!” shouted the man. “Sister is that you!”

I froze. Peter was my only sibling, but he had a lisp that prevented him from ever speaking clearly.

This was foolish, but I stopped at the stairs to see the person. When I saw him, it was somehow indeed Peter.

“W-was that you, br-brother?”

“Yes sister, I no longer have a lisp, I can speak clearly now.”

“Im-impossible, you’ve had th-that lisp… never mind!” I rushed down to him and embraced him. “By Sigmar it is a blessing!”

He picked me off my feet and spun me around. “Yes! I can speak clearly for the first time in my life!”

Just when I thought this day had gotten awful, it had become perhaps the greatest day in years.

We had later arrived at our favourite tavern to celebrate. Sadly it was just the two of us, but that would hopefully change now that my brother was no longer impaired by that accursed lisp. It was so strange though how clearly he spoke now, but I had become too drunk to care.

“Now that I no longer have that lisp,” said my brother for probably the hundredth time. “I can be what I’ve always dreamt of being, an actor. I will be quitting that accursed job of mine and go onto become famous. I’ll become famous enough to provide for two of us and you’ll no longer have to work for that rascal Markus. Now that he can hear me clearly, I will tell him what I’ve always thought of that cheapskate.”

I knew my brother was not thinking straight with the beer taking over his mind, but if I didn’t say anything then the fact he went unchallenged would make him think it was actually a good idea. “Take it easy Peter. Uncle John tried being an actor and failed and he failed a lot more when he had already thrown most his life away that-that.” I tried to remember what happened to him, oh yeah. “He committed suicide.”

“You-you have no worries. The people who fixed my lisp told me I could get anything else I wanted. All I have to do is go to them and they’ll help me.”

“Wha- who? Wh-who fixed your lisp?” Our dad had all kinds of people look at his lisp, healers, teachers and priests, but none of them came close to fixing his lisp. Peter had even done a lot of research trying to fix the lisp himself.

“W-wait, I shouldn’t tell you, n-not unless they say so.”


“The guys who fixed my lisp?”

“But who were they?”

“I can’t say. N-not unless they say so.”

I leered. It was hard to keep a straight face on with the alcohol in my system, but my mind flashed with that witch hunter asking for suspicions. “I want you to not go near these people until I’ve met them.”

My brother turned away and tapped his fingers against the table. It was enough to tell me he couldn’t do that. The fact I was powerless and reasoning him was hopeless made me only able to hope these people weren’t that bad.

“So sister… Perhaps I can finally find someone.”

I then figured out he was looking at the girls. Peter had never had anything to offer someone to be with him. But then neither did I. I looked at the men the girls played with. I had been with a man before, a couple of times, but those relationships had never been anything besides them wanting to fill out their intimate needs. My nose was too big, my hair too bristled and I was too thin to be beautiful, had no father to help arrange a marriage and men found my intellect too annoying for some reason, how was it that people was so affronted to reasoning? But really I had nothing for any decent man to want to keep me.

“Actually I should wait until I become a famous actor. That way I can choose any girl I want. Perhaps I’ll find an interesting friend who wouldn’t mind getting to know you.”

Did he mean friends with a fellow actor… or whoever he was talking about early? “Peter… You no longer having that lisp is blessing enough. I’ll- We’ll both be happy… without any help from other anyone else.”

My brother glared, but he knew better than to argue. I should’ve known better to try and reasoned with him.


I had prayed to the Gods that they would keep my brother out of trouble before I went to work. But as I made my way, I felt tense, like someone was following me. But who would follow a poor class unattractive girl like me… besides the witch hunter from yesterday… Unless my brother had already got his attention. If my brother had got his attention, it almost made me want to curse him. Had he gotten so desperate to remove his lisp that he was willing to condemn both our lives?

Only thing I could do was hurry. I rushed through the streets and charged into the shop.

“Gretchen!” snapped Markus. “Careful with that door or I’ll make you buy a new one before you have chance to break it!”

I was too winded to properly reply, but I noticed that with Markus was the Jacob Fansworthy. Yes. The one person that Markus bowed down and heeded most was the undeniably rich merchant Jacob who was responsible for most of our goods. I had no idea he’d be turning up today, but I was glad he had.

“Greetings,” I said to both but I bowed to Jacob and Jacob bowed back. “I’ll get on with my work now.”

I wanted to share my ideas with Jacob, idea that would save this business, but I knew there’d be no way with Markus backing me off. However, Jacob was always accompanied by his wife, Bella, who had clothes shopping as a hobby and I knew she’d be browsing our wares from other merchants with keen interests.

I already found her studying the Ostermark trade with fascination.


She almost fired into the roof. “By Sigmar!” She almost glared at me. “Is there something you want?”

“Yes, I’d like to discuss some business that you could maybe pass to your husband.”

She gave a befuddled look and peeked over the aisles to make sure Jacob was here. “Tell him yourself,” she spat.

“I-I can’t, my boss will not let me if I try.

Bella gave no sympathy, rather disgust. “I can see why.” What did that mean? She then just went back to her browsing while I was stunned.

“Could you just listen to my ideas?”

She rolled her eyes at me and then paced towards me like stalking cat. “I have no time for discussing things with someone that dresses up like a rag doll, someone who has her hair like that or with anyone who is just a low class shop maid.” She stood over me, I didn’t realise just how tall she was. “People like you don’t get talk to people like us because our world is just that much bigger than yours to comprehend. So get back to your menial chores like you’re meant to.” She then strutted off back to her husband.

Her words had felt like they had tightened the jar lid that sealed every potential I had. Why was I cursed with being so smart and yet so wasted…

After another harrowing day at work, I left straight to the tavern. It was rare I came without my brother, but I had become so depressed. It was bad enough that Peter had gotten himself into trouble that could cost both our lives, but now my only hope of saving our business felt flushed down the drain thanks to an even bigger pompous than Markus. I should’ve know she’d be a bigger one with the size of her butt.

I guess I couldn’t give up though. We were only at risk of losing business, the only business that would give me any really coins. At the moment things were stagnant and it would take time before Markus would come up with another money ‘losing’ scheme of his. I just had to think of a better way of getting my message across to him.

“Hallo there,” slithered a voice.

I lost control of my breathing as these tall slender bald men with pasty skin sat around my table. One with piercings on his lips gave a particularly hungry look. What he hungered for I had no idea. But there was something mesmerizing about him.

“Alone I see.” I wanted nothing to do with them. I took my ale and pretended to down it, hoping they’d grow bored waiting for me to finish. “Normally you’re here with your brother.”

I coughed, almost dropping my tankard. “Peter?”

“He’s the only brother who sits here with you.”

My tankard trembled. They couldn’t be. “What’s he to you.”

He spun his head, probably juggling whether to answer me or no. “Friends I guess.”

I took a few deep breaths and looked to the door until I noticed one of the men rest his hand close to me.

“Look,” spoke the leader. “We’re just here approaching you because we know your job’s miserable.”

“You heard wrong.”

“I take it you lie to your brother then?”

“I don’t know what my brother’s told you, but I’m fine with my line of work.”

“You sure? Because we’re willing to offer you some new work with a respectable pay.”

I-I was tempted to say yes. Not because of what he was saying. But those eyes, they were strangely mesmerizing and comforting. But that alligator grin freed me. “N-No.”

He smacked his lips. “I get the feeling that you’re maybe a little afraid of us. You shouldn’t be. As I said, we’re friends with Peter.”

I heard the door forcibly open. By Sigmar I felt relief when I saw step in was the witch hunter. He didn’t come in for drink, instead he was patrolling the bar, observing everyone sitting down. I needed him here.

“I-I don’t care right now.” I looked back at them and saw they weren’t all that caring about the witch hunter, they probably didn’t know he was one. “I’m happy with my job.”

“Well you’d probably be happier with this one we’re offering.”

I didn’t know what to say or do. All I could do was to wait for the witch hunter, come on over. Why wasn’t he hurrying?

“How about you just come girl?” hissed the man creeping across the table. “Get a peek of just what it is we’re asking you to do?”

They began to slither up. I looked at the witch hunter, he was close enough. I stormed up.

“Sir! Sir!” I yelled. The witch hunter glared. “These men are harassing me.”

He fixed his grim eyes onto the them, they just gave a bashful innocent look in return.

“Just trying to offer the lady a job.”

“What sort of job?”

The man threw up his hands. “Sorry sir, but that’s classified business.”

The witch hunter looked at me and then gestured for me to leave, thank Sigmar.

As I hurried out, I looked back to see the witch hunter sitting them down. I hope he was going to be alright, but my primary concern was just getting out of here.


About five days went by. As I secluded to my house, only leaving for work and house supplies, I did not want to find out what had transpired at the tavern, I didn’t want to risk seeing those men again or find myself questioned once more by the witch hunter. He may have saved my life, but who knows what those men had told him or what I had gotten myself involved.

But as I remained locked up in my home, my brother remained just as much away from home. I hated it, not only because I worried where was he, but I needed him. Those men, that witch hunter, could come crashing through the door and there’d be no one to protect me, no one who would care.

On the sixth night, where I laid locked in my room, I heard the door bang open.

I shuddered as I hid beside the wardrobe. I considered screaming out the window, but I felt the intruder would be done with me when I yelled.

“Gretchen!” That was my brother and there was something wrong in his voice.

As I rushed to unlock the door, I heard my brother scream and slam to the floor. “Peter!” I undid the door and then found my brother at the foot of stairs. I got to his side. “Brother! What’s happened to you!?”

“Nu-nothing, just happy is all.”

He almost didn’t seem to notice that he had fell down and just gave a drunken smile.

I hauled him up carried him into the living room and rested him onto a chair and sat opposite to him to catch my breath.

“Where have you been going brother?”

“Do you really want me to tell you? Because if you do, you’re going to have to give me time to think about all the places I have been.”

“How about telling me who you’ve been with then? These so-called new friends?”

“They fixed my voice, shouldn’t be so hostile to them.”

“They came up to me five days ago and tried to drag me out of our favourite tavern.”

“They did?”

“Yes. Fact you don’t know tells they weren’t planning on telling you what they had in mind to do to me.”

“No-no, those were probably some other friends.”

“What other friends? Before you lost your lisp you had no friends.”

“Well these friends would never do that.”

“And how can I be sure when I’ve never met these friends?”

Peter was moping now. He got up and just began to leave.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Somewhere I don’t have to put up with this.”

I stormed up after him. “Do you realise how much I truly need you at the moment?” My brother paused. “I’m left in my room scared, scared that you’ve gotten us into some kind of trouble that I can’t fathom! And even though you’ve gotten us both into this mess, you’re the only one I can count on to protect me.”

My brother stood for a minute before he answered. “There is no reason to be afraid of my friends… but if it’s causing you causing you this much bother… I’ll-I’ll try and get them to see them tomorrow.”

I was glad to be getting through to him, finally, but it wasn’t enough. “And just what if your friends still don’t comfort me.”

“Trust me... you will have no reason to fear them.” My brother continued on walking. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to be seeing them right now.”

He then left me and I was left all alone again and vulnerable.


In the afternoon, my brother took me to see these friends of his. We went into what was actually the noble district, a place where only the rich and privileged were welcomed. It made me feel more uncomfortable why people like these would take an interest in Peter.

We stepped into one of the buildings. I felt my nerves dampen from the powerful exotic smell that filled its hallways, but I wanted to be scared. I didn’t want to trust the people inside here or let my guard down.

My breath was taken when we entered one of the rooms. It was spectacular, but haunting. Its walls were painted in multiple bright colours that swirled and danced across the room. There these serpent-like statues both beautiful and terrifying, one that drew me was this one this person, I think, with crab-claws and bird feet.

There were people who just lounged here on the carpet and laid out pillows, smoking happily on some strange substance, probably the thing that affected him last night.

“Greetings Peter.” A woman, both gorgeous and yet creepy, like the statues, prowled towards us. She wore brightly coloured dress, her hair waved around her like living snakes and her eyes were almost venomous. “Is this your sister that you have spoken so fondly about?” She gave me both a charming and sinister grin.

“Yes Bella Mortiff. This is Gretchen.”

“Ah.” She put her hands on my face. “You are such a sweet sister. You are welcomed here my lovely, you are welcomed to the Forgotten Bliss.” She came uncomfortably close. “And to anything you need.” I didn’t know what to do, what was she going to do. She eased off and stroked my head. “Aw, you’re a frightened wee lamb aren’t you? Peter told me that Gertrude and the others were probably a little too… intimidating when they were just trying to help you.”

They were more than just intimidating and now that I knew that Gertrude really was in league with these guys I looked to Peter, wanting to leave now.

“Trust me though. The Forgotten Bliss is a group dedicated to fulfilling the desires of everyone that embraces us and as you can see…” She looked at my brother. “Or heard we have almost no limits.”

“Listen to her sister,” insisted Peter. “These people are willing to help and all you have to do is become one of them. Just by saying you’re a Forgotten Bliss, they can get you a new job or someone for you to marry, anything thing.”

“He speaks the truth.”

It was tempting, but the allure in this woman’s voice was unnatural as if only a goddess could speak like she could. “I am happy enough.”

“You are not sister,” snapped Peter. “You complain to me about work and always wish about being married and now you live in fear. These people can fix all that.”

“Right now all I want is for us to go home.”

“Your strong will holds you back from what you truly want,” Bella criticised. She smiled. “But I believe it is because you’ve reframed yourself from embracing those huge desires by burying them deep such inner strength that he has such interest in you.”

What? “Who?”

She chuckled. “The being that removed Peter’s lisp so that he could speak beautiful. A being that comes to you dreams each night, beckoning you to embrace him and in exchange he will provide you with whatever you want.”

Was she insane? Was this some kind of metaphor? Or was she truly talking about a being that could do that? A being that could enter your dreams and beckons you to embrace him. Something like that sounded too hard to belief, but priests warned us of such great evil, but I always believed that was something to make you go to church.

“Sister!” Peter grabbed my shoulder. “These people are going to help us, give us better lives.”

He was hurting me! My brother never hurt me!

“Easy Peter.” My brother began to loosen being soothed by Bella’s voice. “We’ll let your sister leave. But know Gretchen that no matter how far you run away or push us… Our offer will always stand and in time when you’re ready to accept… He will have great things in store for you.”

What did she mean… Whatever it was, I did not want to find out, I was just glad to leave, but as I hastened towards the exit, but the realised. “Brother?” I turned and saw him glaring at me.

“Continue going home sister.” He walked away into the shadows.

Please Sigmar no… Had my brother abandoned me?


It had been three days and my brother had indeed not come back. He felt disappeared from my life and it was the loneliest experience I had ever felt. I had no one but him, I only ever really needed him. He never left me, he always listened to me and he would always protect me that was all I needed, he was the only person that made me feel like a person.

My father was so scarred by his time in the military that he stopped being like father. The rest of my family lived in Talabecland. We had been no use at making friends. It was the sort of thing that made having just that one person so badly needed and without him… I was so empty…

I didn’t want to give up. I made my prayers to both Shallya and Sigmar and went out into the street. I hoped there would be someone that could perhaps fill my brother’s place, just until something could bring Peter back, maybe this person could help me get him back or at least give me the strength.

I didn’t go to my favourite tavern. It wasn’t the same without my brother and I was worried Gertrude was waiting for me there. I believed only reason he hadn’t come for me yet was because he didn’t know where else I went but that tavern. It was the only place I knew that he knew I went to. So I went to a different one.

When I walked in, I walked cautiously.

I felt so unsafe. This just didn’t have the feel that the Briskwall tavern did. It was darker, the people were quiet and the tables not as clean. I didn’t turn back though, I didn’t know what the other taverns would be like and I had already stepped in.

“What do you want?” growled the taverner moving some empty tankards.

I was almost knocked back by the shock from his aggressive tone. “Some-some ale?”

The taverner smirked. “Really?”


The taverner rolled his eyes. “Fine, two brass.”

I paid him and got my ale then shuffled away. I looked around and could see all the suspicious looks. I had never felt so out of place in a tavern. I was dressed like a housewife, all by myself. It also hurt when I had to admit I was unattractive and didn’t have the personality you’d find a girl having in a place like this. But that shouldn’t bother any of the men that wouldn’t mind coming to my place for tonight, I had no problem with it so long as I wasn’t alone.

I sat and had my ale. It was either time had passed that fast or I had downed it, but my ale was gone just like that. I wanted to get some more, but I didn’t like that taverner. In fact I didn’t want to move. The idea of trying to meet someone here wasn’t my main concern anymore and if I felt if I got up, I’d draw too much attention.

By Sigmar, how had this happened, how had I become such a wretch.

Two tankards boomed onto the table. “Good to see you still alive.” The witch hunter passed one the drinks across. “I wasn’t able to apprehend the men that harassed you.” He took a swing of his drink. “Somehow he evaded me to have the consciousness to deem him guilty… Always hate someone actually able to sway me with words.”

“H-he’s not dangerous, is he?”

“If you mean their leader Gertrude, no doubt,” growled the witch hunter. “I’ve strung and burned many men with eyes like his. People like him are dangerous indeed. Which is why I hired men to keep an eye on you. Although I didn’t have the sense to just condemn the man and I doubt I can do much to prevent him from causing more evil than he probably already has. I’m at least happy to know he won’t be getting his hands on one soul.”

Or you were maybe using him as bait. I had always heard Witch hunters were quick to condemn people of guilty just because of the look you gave them and the stories I was told of them just made it even more sense. Still it felt assuring I had someone looking out for me.

I took a sip of the tankard he gave me and spat. “This is wine!”

“What was that you were drinking before then, water?”


“Ale? I normally find girls drinking or another kind of beer, but not ale,” criticised the Witch hunter. Well obviously you weren’t from around her I wanted to tell him. But I didn’t want to cross a man who could nail me to a post for crossing him. “But never mind, I’ll go and get you ale then soon as I’m done drinking mine,” he grunted. “So tell me that man that enters your house, what is he to you.”

Peter? “Wh-why do you ask?”

“Just give me my answer.”

What choice did I have? “H-he’s my brother.”

“And he lives with you or does he just stay the night?”

“He lives with me… But he’s been out more than usual.”

“Do you know why?”

“He-he’s started becoming really ambitious about his acting career that he just goes out a lot to practice and find out options.”

“I see where he goes.” Oh no. “He goes to the Forgotten Bliss in the noble district. Why, I don’t know, but I have a feeling you do.” He leered at me. It became clear he wasn’t here to comfort me. “The Forgotten Bliss is a club for people to lounge around in and enjoy exotic tastes. Why would your brother go there so frequently if he was so ambitious about an acting career?”

Come on Gretchen, you’re a smart girl. Think. “I-I… Because most the production and directors there are open to talking to people from our class, which means then he has a chance of persuading them to let him be in their play.”

The witch hunter raised his eyebrow in an impressed way. “He seems to spend a rather lot of time in there. As I know, he’s not returned to your house in three days.”

“Th-that’s because.” I lowered my head. “W-we had a fight,” I snivelled. I hope confessing a partial amount of truth would throw him off.

“Over what exactly?”

I wanted to say it was personal, but that wasn’t something you could say to a witch hunter. “I was getting upset how much he was investing into his career… I was being selfish I guess.”

The witch hunter leaned over the table. “I know you’re protecting him girl.” I was frozen. “I can tell it’s me you’re protecting him from. The only reason I’m playing this game is to let you repent yourself…” He wasn’t, he wasn’t going to actually ask me. “By giving me what I want to know. Now try again, why is your brother spending a lot of time with the Forgotten Bliss.”

What was I to do? I was caught. I felt like bird caught underneath a cat’s paw. Unlike a bird though, I could give the cat something he wanted, but the problem was it was handing over the only real person I had left… But what I had to consider… Did I honestly have that person left or… had his soul been lost?

“He-He thanks them for removing the lisp from his voice.”

“A lisp?”

“Yes…” I wasn’t sure how far to get into it, but the witch hunters glare told me I hadn’t started. “He-he’s had it all his life and w-we thought it was incurable… until the Forgotten Bliss.”

“And how did they cure it?”

“I.. I don’t know. Something always stopped me from asking, b-but…” The last thing that made me think Peter could be saved was in me… But the last image that I got of him… Told me I could only save myself now. “They mentioned it was being… not a person that fixed his lisp.”

The witch hunter stared calmly, then finished his drink and slammed it to the table and got up. “I’ll tell the taverner to send your drink over when it’s ready.”

Wh-what had I done.


For the past few days my life had felt empty. I had been locked up in my room letting myself wither away hoping Shallya would offer respite from the pain I was going through. But nothing would relief me, nothing could, the one person who could ever could’ve help me I had now condemned.

Desperate to find something that would break me free of this self-destruction, I had pulled myself across the room to open the window. I looked out into the sun and realised it was Backertag! I was meant to be at work! I was meant to be at work yesterday and the day before and perhaps the day before that!

I had missed out on so much work, oh Sigmar no! Hadn’t I been ravaged enough! I rushed my things on and went outside.

I burst out into the streets and hurried. As I went however, I noticed everyone around me… They were staring at me! I had wandered if it was because of my hair or my dress wasn’t on right… But I then realised word had maybe passed and the guilt of my brother began to run through me again.

I picked up the pace, wanting to get away. I found the Golden star fabric shop and bolted in.

“What the!” barked Markus.

“Sorry!” I huffed. I tried not to cry. “Sorry!”

“Oh Gretchen, should’ve recognised that door slam.”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m here now.”

“Here for what?”

I looked up at him with puffed eyes. “For work.”

Markus stamped out from behind the counter. “I’m afraid you work here no longer.”

“W-w-wait what?”

“You heard me girl. You were missing for days.”

“Y-yes well I’m here now.”

“Here now, late and in such a state.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” I tried tidying myself and subtly wiped my tears.

Markus stared at me as I wouldn’t leave. He sighed and paced towards me. “I’m afraid that isn’t the only reason.”


“I know it’s not fair on you, but it’s important for my business that I let you go because of this.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand.”

He gripped my shoulder and gave me the best sympathise look he could. “I heard about your brother, the whole town has. Keeping you here is just to leave us both in a sinkhole mess.”


“I’d help you Gretchen, just as your father helped me, but… I’m afraid the price involved helping you with this…” He turned away. “Is too much.” I screamed and threw over a clothes stand. “Hey!”

I kicked the door, opened it and stormed out and screamed again. The pain just wouldn’t stop. I fell to my knees clenching myself. Why wouldn’t the pain just stop?


Later that day, I made my way home stumbling.

Businesses were closed so the streets were empty. It had stopped all the people judging me. What had I done? So what if he was my brother? He was deemed guilty by a witch hunter and that made him an enemy of the Empire! Oh how could I think that?

I fell to my knees again and snivelled.

“Aw, you’ve become such a damaged little thing haven’t you?” I knew that voice! It was Gertrude. I fell back and tried to scamper in reverse. “Steady girl.” He paced after me as patiently as a cat. “You have my word that if I dare put a hand on you, Bella will crush all feeling from them and trust me.” He showed me his hands. “Feeling with your hands is something I love doing.”

“Th-then what do you want.” I tried searching for something to defend myself.

“To give you the message that even though you betrayed your own brother and almost handed us all over to the witch hunter.” He then sat himself down in front of me playfully. “Our offer is still open to you. You still have a place open to the Forgotten Bliss.”

I couldn’t trust him, but his voice made me believe him. “W-why.”

“Because he still desires you, he desires you more than ever at the moment and I can tell,” he slithered. “You desire him. He can make the pain you’re having, a sensation. He can give you all you desire, all you want. All you must do is come with me.” He licked his lips. “And embrace him.”

I had no idea what to do or say. “I-I don’t know.”

“Just come along. I swear you won’t come any harm. You’re a damaged and broken kitty that just needs repair from the only needs someone like him to take you in.” He came closer and reached out his hand. “Face, if Sigmar or something like Shylla were going to do it? Why not now when every other mortal but us has abandoned you.”

I looked around and the scene described just as he had said. I was abandoned… Just for doing my duty to the Empire and trying to survive. They were the only ones offering to take me in.

I reached out and took his hand.

“Good girl,” he hissed.

I was brought back in the Forgotten Bliss, a place I wished to never dare return to and yet fate had forced me here.

“Good work Gertrude,” sang Bella striding through the hallways. Gertrude did not respond to the welcome. Bella hugged me. I felt a huge sensation, possibly of the powerful smell or the unnatural feel of her skin. “You may return to your luxury now.” The man turned and left, leaving just me and her to stroll through the hallway. “I am so glad you have come my dear. Have you come to embrace him?”

“I-I haven’t decided yet.” Was I actually considering this?

“I understand, but just so you know, he did everything in his power to save your brother. While he provided me with the strength and charm to convince the Witch hunter to avoid his absolution to judge us, I’m afraid he had enough… evidence to resist any charm we might have used to persuade him otherwise.”

So were they aware it was me who handed my brother over? A Witch hunter didn’t really need evidence to convict someone. What came into my mind however was imagining him being dragged while everyone here stood by. It made me think that while I didn’t have him… he didn’t have me… He would’ve been all alone. “H-how did he suffer?”

She looked at me and said calmly. “You’d best not think about that now my dear… Just understand that he is now one with him.”


She stroked her fingers along my cheekbone, calming me. “Hush child and calm. When he cannot... or does not protect us in this life… he protects us in the afterlife. He is a true guardian as he is our provider.”

I wish she’d just say it, say it that this person was-was some kind of dark god, one that I was warned never to go near. What was I doing here? “I wish to leave now.”

She smiled. “You’re scared child and I understand. What those fools that say that he corrupts our minds with lies are the ones who spread false truths.” Her voice became more aggressive. “The person they tell us to look to, the person they tell us to obey, what does he offer? Protection? All Gods provide that, but some do better than others. Trust me when the person I speak of tried everything to save him, while the one we’re told to obey let him be taken.”

“Y-you speak of Sigmar,” I dared to say. “The protector of mankind and the founder of the Empire?”

She repulsed at the mention of that name. Her twisted face made me regret saying it. “I do and what the so-called god did in life, no longer does in death. Let me remind again that he left your brother in the hands of one of his devotes followers made to hunt out people who conflict with the Empire’s common values. This madness that the cult of Sigmar has wrought has made us paranoid and afraid to embrace what this world has to offer. These delusions of what is wrong and what is right has been set by priests trying to keep what faltering power they have left as beings truly more caring takes his place.”

I could- I could feel her words slither into me, but I couldn’t let her. To abandon Sigmar was to let your soul be left vulnerable to the depraved beasts from other realms tear it apart and devour it! “Sorry, but I really want to go now.”

“Go? Go where child? Out amongst the other sheep of Sigmar? The sheep now shy away from you that make your life cruel.” She forced eye contact with me. “I know the witch hunter give you the information he sought to convict your brother. It’s understandable or he would have made you share your brother’s fate. But look what it’s done and all for the sake of Sigmar. You have no family worth caring, no job, just nothing and just because of him.”

She-she was right. Every day I had prayed to him, offered to him and stayed devout. But in just one week that had all been taken. But. “I-If-.” I had to say it. If she was going to do something about it, she may as well. “Peter had never came here, none of this would’ve happen.”

Bella smirked, why? “My dear, your brother came looking for what every human is entitled to, his desires. He had you, a sweet loving sister, but what else? He was an outcast with menial job not worthy of him all because of the way he spoke. It made him suffer, his life bitter.” She came closer. “He probably would’ve killed himself if not for him. Was your brother not happier when his lisp was removed?”

He had never truly been happy, but he was safe, but did that make it worth living? “I-I-.”

“But let’s think what he could do for you.” She circled around me. “You’re an intelligent, outspoken and good soul, but look at you. With all that potential and great meaning, you’ve been born into a low class as a woman with some features that make her even more undesirable for people to care about. If that wasn’t a fact you wouldn’t be here right now, needing the one being that truly wants you to get what she wants.” She stopped in front of me with her fist clench. “Think about it, you have nothing left, soon as I let you walk out of her, you’ll be some outcast waiting to die, but here, if you embrace him, you’ll have a life your soul was truly given birth for.”

I thought about it. I thought about how even though I had my brother, it never made up for all the things that had befallen in my life simply because I was an ugly woman with no father. Every time I confronted Markus, he’d disregard my opinions, no one wanted to be friends with someone so smart or unappealing and people were too put off by the fact I was working girl with no father to provide to be willing to marry. It was flawed social norms I had always hated. I looked up at her. “F-fine.”

“I’m going to need more than that girl. If you are truly to embrace him.” Her grin widened. “You have to be sure.”

I felt as if I was exchanging my soul, I probably was, but what use was it if all I was going to do was suffer in life and perhaps the afterlife. I felt as if my brother would be waiting for me to ask how could I? Perhaps even my father that had stopped loving me, the mother I had never known and everyone else who just didn’t care. Perhaps Sigmar or Shylla never had truly cared… But these people and… their deity… they seemed like they truly did. “I am sure.”

I was escorted to a lavender door with shocking golden emblems.

“There is much desire in you Gretchen. So much sensation needed to be given that if we want every ounce of that to come true we must start here.” She pressed her hand to the door. “In here I have made preparations to tear open the veil that separates you from him so that he can bestow as much as you are both willing.”


Her smile couldn’t get any wider. “I knew it was only a matter of time until you accepted him.” She pulled me inside.

I became even scared as I was in room lit by purple flame candles and had this acidy charcoal smell that was just awful. When I thought about running, I not only felt Bella’s grip tighten around my hand… but this invisible force that wrapped around my body.

“Now rest here my child. Don’t be afraid to move but do not leave this room until I can say it’s done and most of all.” I felt her breath closer. “It’s alright to be afraid… Fear can be one of the sensations that he can offer if you choose it.”

Bella stepped away into the darkness and the door closes. All I could see were the candle lights, just what was about happen to me!?

I heard people, people whispering.


The ignored me. I took a few paces near to one and began to realise they were doing some sort of chant. What kind of chant I didn’t know, but each word that whispered spun a nerve in my body as if enchanting me… or cursing me. I wanted it to stop, but what could I do beyond this point?

I felt imprisoned in my own grave. A grave that had locked away my very soul.

When I continued listening to the chants, there was one word that caused my whole body to spasm. “Slaanesh.”

I crumbled to the floor. I had lost consciousness and felt my whole body twitch and jerk.

I don’t know how long this had gone on. But there had been moments where my consciousness would return. I could feel my face snap, the roots of my hair prickle me and my chest crack. It was somehow… both horrifying and refreshing at the same time. I didn’t know what to real feel as these were just for brief moments.

(This is only the beginning)
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (New Story, comment plz)

Postby Birdofterror » Wed May 14, 2014 11:36 pm

I see you want people to comment. Well, I only reached the first star before realizing that this is a very... VERY, large story. In just one part to boot. Though I have to say, the dialogues and the attention to the characters is very key. It's hard to explain, but I can tell what kind of world this is just by the way you portray the characters. The only problems I have with specific sentences would be nitpicky, not to mention in a part this long it makes pointing out the individual lines of text a nightmare. There has to be at least 10000 words here. :?

But yeah, it's good, but no way I can read it in one sitting. I'll have to come back to finish the rest in chunks.
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The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (New Story, comment plz)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Thu May 15, 2014 9:31 am

Don't we all want to get our stories read? And yes it's, 8,000words to be exact, but now it's over 10,000words. It's becoming an achievement as I've actually getting a few readers with this story. Maybe not as much as Pride and Feminism considering how I had successfully created my own wrestling universe among other things I always wanted to do with a story like that and let's not compare the achievement towards my comics. This story does have the potential of stuff I've always wanted to accomplish and may accomplish in storytelling if I'm successful, which is why it's great to have readers to congratulate you!
But yes thank you Birdofterror, it's what I've been rigorously taught by my friend I keep talking about to everyone who is a former English teacher and right now head of litreature at my Island's creative community. and getting the attention using character and dialogue has been what we've been working on through most the time so it's great to hear that.
Anyways, like I said, it's now over 10,000words and going lol .

The Story of Gretchen chapter 4

I woke up. I was fully awake this time. I could feel the earth shake tingle spiral around my face and the spasm in my body, but I was able to move almost perfectly, if not better, in fact if felt good to move.

When I tried to look at my hands, I realised I was in this incredibly soft woven bed in this marvellous glittered room. What was I doing here?

“Awake my child.” She came from the shadows in the corners, Bella. “I am so pleased.” She reached out her hand. I hesitated at first, but took I hold of it for Bella to pull me out of bed. “Now let us look at the wonders you’ve been given.” She then brought me towards a mirror in the bedroom. “Look.”

I gasped. I-I was beautiful. I touched my face to see if that was really me… and it was. M-my hair was soft and had this golden colour. My cheeks were bony and didn’t have that gaunt look anymore. My body was still skinny, but it looked right. My nose no longer looked like a potato, instead it was tiny and pointy like how I always wished it was. The only thing I wasn’t sure about was the purple coloured eyes, they were astonishing… but unnatural. Still. “Amazing.”

“And only the beginning.”

I turned to her. “What do you mean?”

She stroked my silk hair. “To start with, I’m afraid if you wanted to keep your old life, you wouldn’t have a choice. It would be clear to those Sigmar sheep that he would’ve had a play in it and your life would be over. Here you must make a new identity of yourself.”

“Where is here?”

She chuckled and then paced towards the window. “Your new home.” I came beside her and looked out the window. “It’s in the same town, but-.”

“In the noble district.”

“Yes, not far from the Forgotten Bliss in case you are ever in need.” She strolled behind me stroking her finger across my neck. “But for now you will want to adjust to your new life.”

New life? “Wh-where do I begin?”

“Anywhere,” said Bella walking towards the door. “In order to fit in with your background that your Father died before you were married, you became estranged with your brother after he took most the inheritance but nonetheless left you with some of it, you’ve moved here and hence we of the Forgotten Bliss have left you with generous donation to blend in with that identity.”

“H-how much.”

Bella smirked as she exited. “Enough that you won’t be asking us for coins later.” And left.


I took my time leaving my bedroom and was then awed at the huge construction I was in. I felt so small, yet the interior suited my own beauty. It was truly marvellous.

I made my way down the curved stairs, I had no idea they could be shaped this way.

“Hallo.” I was startled. But I was even more startled when I noticed it was Gertrude that walked in. “Ah, so you are out of bed. I thought you may have only been awake.” He stood at attention at the bottom of the stairs. “Anything I can help you with?”

“Wh-what no-no.”

Gertrude bowed and just went over to a couch and slumped over. “I’ll just be here if you need me then.”

I cautiously stepped down the stairs. I wasn’t sure what was going on, was this house to belong to other members too or was I meant to be doing something with Gertrude, not awful I hope.

He seemed to have read my puzzlement just now. “Oh, Bella must not have informed you, but I am to be of your service and make sure you are protected.”

“What!” Can’t believe I said that out loud!

“I know.” Gertrude shrugged. “But it’s the only way Bella’s willing to forgive me I’m afraid or at least get you to forgive me, hopefully.”

“You mean for offering me that job? That was Bella who sent you.”

“Actually I did it of my own accord. You see when your brother made it sound like you were going to squeal on us and well, couldn’t have that. So I that day I came offering you a job… I wasn’t.” He held up his hand. “I was there.” He burst it open. “To make you disappear.” I fumbled back against the bannister holding my chest. “It’s sort of what I’m meant to do around the cult is make people that threaten us disappear.” He gave a smug look. “We’re what you call the six silencers.”

I felt just as scared around this person now. He had just tried to murder me! “F-fascinating, I-I’m going out now.”

He jumped off the couch. “Oh, are we?”

I backed away from him. “J-just me.”

Gertrude showed your hands. “Sorry, but Bella gave me strict orders to stay close to you for a couple of days, to make sure you had help answering any difficult questions.” Or possibly make sure I didn’t give ones to the wrong people. “But come, if you’re going out, best not go out looking like that. You’re a noble woman now.”

He had took me back up the stairs and into another bedroom and opened up a wardrobe. “Ah, my sister Sahel always had good taste.”

“Wait? Your sister?”

“Yes, they use to live here, but not anymore.” He threw me one of the dresses and continued to smile. “Let’s say that my desire to Slaanesh was to feel alive again and one of things stopping me from feeling alive was my oppressive family.”

There was that word again. The very sound from Gertrude’s lips sprang through my ear canal. “Sl-Slaanesh.”

“Oh, Bella must’ve slipped to mention that the being that hands us our desires is named Slaanesh.” He approached closely to me. “Best not say that name out in public though. People like that Witch hunter would have us all burning just for mentioning it.” He then walked pass me. “Now get dressed, I’m eager to get going.”


The world seemed so much different now. Never before had I felt so welcomed to be outside, so refreshed and wanted. There were eyes looking at me, in a way I had never experienced, it was a great experience as they were in awe. I wanted one of them to come close though, I wanted one of the men to approach me like I had always dreamt, to offer me flowers and ask me to be his.

“So are we just going to keep walking or do you have some place in mind?” questioned Gertrude.

Just as I had been liberated from remembering he was right behind me. “I-I want to go and get a drink.”

“Could’ve just said.”

He led me to this very fanciful place, a place a felt I’d never be welcomed in, but was now almost able to wander in freely. I was just as captivated when I heard the sound of a cup glass shattering when it’s owner caught eyes on me. All the men in this very place had drunkenly caught eyes on me. I especially loved the men who had women over their laps staring at me and got to see their partners either pout or gawk. It was good to experience the scene from a different perspective.

“Uh-uh,” gibbered the taverner, what a lovely gibber it was. “H-how may I be of service?”

“Ale please?”

“Ale?” shocked the taverner. “S-sorry, but we don’t serve ale. Most people here drink wine or high-quality beer.”

I almost wanted to bleh when I heard wine, but now I felt stupid.

Gertrude brushed by and leaned against the counter. “Now you said you were at the lady’s service and what the lady wants, inside tavern, is ale. You’ve either got some or you need to quickly go and get some.” The way Gertrude did that made the taverner almost about to shriek.

“Y-yes, I’ll go and get some from a tavern nearby, just a moment, please take a seat while I go and seat.”

As the taverner burst out, Gertrude gave a delightful smile. “I told you were to be taken well care of, even if it’s something as simple as your favourite beverage.”

He brought me to my seat and then slouched with his head flopped back over the seat on the other side.

I was uneased at first, but soon as I was able to push Gertrude out of my mind even though he was right there, I put my thoughts back to all the attention I was grabbing. Attention from high quality men that I would often fantasise about, maybe not in a place like this, but this was better.

“Excuse me.” I almost screamed. I was almost jaw dropped to find one of these high quality men stand so near me. By Sigmar his hair and jaw and so clean, so dazzling clean with bright coloured clothes. “I was just here to make sure everything between you and your lover was alright.”

I pressed my fingers against my beating heart. It felt so moving to have a man ask something like that. I realised I was gawking though, needed to push out the words. “H-h-he’s not-.”

“I’m not his lover. I’m her bodyguard, servant or something.”

“Ah, so you won’t mind if I take the lady then?”

“So long as she doesn’t go out of my sights it’s fine.”


The gentlemen gave just as an excited look towards me. “Allow me to introduce myself.” He gave a bow I had always wanted to receive. My hands were clamped against my cheeks. “My name is Heinz Lummenford and what be yours.”

“Gr-Gr-.” I made a quick glance to make sure it was okay I used my own name. Gertrude had made no attempt to stop me. “Gretchen Ulsmare.”

“Gretchen Ulsmare.” Heinz tasted. “Well Lady Gretchen Ulsmare.” He offered me his hand. “How about joining me at that empty table over there.” Oh my! “I wish to get to know such a tender dove as you.”

I squeezed his hand, maybe a bit too tight, but felt I had soared off with someone.

I had no doubts it was because of my looks, but that was it. This wasn’t a simple drunk man wanting to be close to another woman, any woman, this was a man who wanted to be with me, because I stood out, beautifully. The fact he was so gorgeous himself made me know I could be with any man I wanted. But him was fine, if not great.

We had then just sat on and spoke, we actually spoke about each other. I had learned he was son of Waldemer Lummenford, a nobleman who headed Gritty firebrands, a group of pistolier that were ready to be drafted if needed. It lent both him and his father a lot of power in the town council and town in general. He would ask about me, but I just kept to my vague story of being abandoned by my brother.

As we talked though, Heinz’s friends had moved to sit with us and I noticed they were encroaching on me, seeing if it was not too late for them to have their chance. It wasn’t.

“You my lady have perhaps the greatest woven hair in this town,” spoke one and raised his cup. “Needed to be said.”

“You wouldn’t happen to be seeing another?” interrupted another one.

“Um no.”

“Excellent,” spoke another gentleman that got in the way. “My father who owns a number of businesses is having dinner tomorrow with a few of his friends and was insistent that I have someone with me whilst they attend.”

“You can have me with you Josef.”

The gentleman that offered gave his friend and playful elbow and continued waiting on me.

“Yes!” I chirped. I hoped a few of those friends were business partners coming to discussing business. The fact that I could get a couple of boys here to talk about anything, I could talk to the men at that discussion and they would listen the opinions I had to say.

Most of the men had become displeased however, glaring at Josef who gave smug grin back at his friends. The one burning most was Heinz.

“How about day after you come out to the range with me and my father?” offered Heinz. “We can let you ride on some of the horses we pistoliers use or if you prefer the pistols themselves?”

“Wait don’t answer that until you’ve heard my offer?” cut in another gentleman. “On that day a famous chief from the Reikland his visiting us and one of the things he’s renown for cooking his roast duck in honey.”

My mother watered at the mention of duck and honey. I had never tasted anything close to that, but I had smelt it and it would make me have dreams craving it for nights. I felt bad though if I had to turn down Heinz, I sort of owed it to him for bring me here.

“I-Is there a way I can do both on the same day?”

“How about if Heinz just brings you out on the range some other time,” said the one offering feast.

“I would but I’m afraid afterwards my father is occupied with political matters and doesn’t allow us to bring guests on the range without his accomplice. No thanks to you Joerg,” muttered Heinz. “But I could always offer the chief to provide food at the range; we could eat there with you as my personal guest Gretchen.”

“Hold on, we’ve already purchased him to cook for our family.”

Not that I didn’t like this squalor over me, but I didn’t know what to do. I just sat here as these refined men were turning into dogs.

“Well I’m offering him to cook for your family at the range.”

“At the range are you mad?”

“Of course not and you know that Joerg, we’ve had food prepared for us there before?”

“Not by a high-quality chief who requires indoor equipment.”

“Do you wish for me to take you somewhere my lady while these two resolve things?” offered Josef.

“Um, I’m not supposed to go out of sight of my bodyguard.” I had just remembered him. I looked at the goon who had seemed content with his own thoughts, but had noticed me trying to message him with facial expression and received it eventually.

“How about if we just go over to another table and I can tell you about my father’s ship?” interrupted another.

“Hey! I offered first Nickil?”

“Would you two stop it, me and Joerg we’re just trying to sort this out quickly?”

“Not soon enough I’m afraid,” hissed Gertrude, finally. The man’s presence had unsettled the other gentlemen and almost willingly moved aside when Gertrude came to help me up. “The lady has other places to be.”

As I followed Gertrude out I heard Josef shout. “Just come by the Wurter residence anytime tomorrow for dinner.”

“Yes and if you wish to come by for dinner with me after, just go to the Karolus residence.”

“Of course if being outside on the range takes more your preference just go to the Lummenford residence.”

Gertrude had led me out before there was any more shouting. Of course, when I was out on the street, I felt like sing and dancing, even around him.

“I take it you are pleased with your new life?”

It felt like being woken from a dream when I remembered why I was here, how I was here. I looked at Gertrude and then away. “Al-almost.”

“I guess that’s good enough to avoid me being reduced to carrying drugs.”


Gertrude smirked. “How do you imagine we of the Forgotten Bliss afford such comforts?”

“I-I don’t know, I thought he would provide you with that.”

“I’m afraid he only provides us with so much. It would make life very boring if everything we will ever want fell into our lap. But I guess even a god has limitations.”

I looked around us and could see the streets were still occupied. “Is it safe to be talking about this in the open?”

“Perhaps not, but I guess that’s what’s making this conversation amusing at the moment.” I wanted to shut him up in that case! “But I should focus on getting you home. You have a big day tomorrow.” He patted me on the head. “You’re having dinner with a wealthy noble family.”

It wasn’t even late yet. But thinking about it, I was just a simple peasant girl and I was to masquerade tomorrow as a noble woman. No, I was a noblewoman now and tomorrow I would get my chance to be around real men of business, unlike Markus and show them and everyone else what I was capable of.
Last edited by Thy Obsessive Freak on Sat May 17, 2014 1:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (New Story, comment plz)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Sat May 17, 2014 1:20 pm

The Story of Gretchen chapter 5

The next afternoon, Gertrude had escorted me to the Wurter residence, there I was actually greeted by the guards and brought in. I marvelled at the interior of the large complex building, I had no idea someone could live in here.

“Afternoon my lady,” greeted Josef. He led a group of nobles. “See father, mother, isn’t she spectacular.”

Both of them gasped at me, the father needing to hold up his monocle. “Why yes, never seen such a stunning lady… besides your mother.”

“Excuse me, welcome to our home Gretchin Ulsmare,” said Josef taking my hand and bring me close to the other nobles. “And this is my father, Ulein Wurter and my mother, Ida Wurter.” They bowed and curtsied and I curtsied back as best as I could.

“H-hallo,” I hushed.

Ulein gave a curious look at the greeting, but spoke. “It is a pleasure to have woman of your appearance in this household. I question though why someone is not already taken.”

I fidgeted. What was I to say, did I need to say something, he was looking me as if expecting an answer. I thought maybe something involving Gertrude, Gertrude. “Aw-um!” I looked behind him me and saw he was waiting behind us. “Y-yes this is Gertrude.”

He advanced to join the conversation and Ulein extended his hand to him, giving a suspicious squint in his eye. “Gertrude…?”


“I see and your relation to Gretchin Ulsmare?”

“Bodyguard I guess.”

“Aha?” He looked at me. “Well that’s introductions out of the way how about we all go and sit down at the table. It is early but it means we won’t have to sort out whose sitting where later.”

Josef had taken me by the arm and we followed his father.

As we went, I enjoyed the gaze of all the noblemen here, but I really just enjoyed being near them and being able to be one of them, I was a part of a flock that moved through the hallway. It was great.

We had entered the dining room and I gasped when I saw just how long and beautiful the table was.

“Something wrong my dear?” asked Josef.

“Uh! No!” I tried hard to get over what a large table it was. “No!”

“You sure?”

“No- I-I mean yes!”

“Let’s just take a seat shall we,” said Gertrude behind me.

In one way I kept praying Gertrude would be smited, but the other I was glad he was here.

Josef guided me to my seat. Gertrude took his seat next to me, but I noticed this end was flocked with girls, much to my disappointment. I wanted to be near all the men.

“I love the way you’ve done your hair,” shouted one of the girls across. “How is it that you’ve gotten it so soft?”

“Um, it’s just is?”

“You mean it’s actually natural?” asked another feeling her own hair. “I’ve bathed my hair so many times, but never have I gotten it that close to being so, well, anything like that.”

I wanted to groan, but I didn’t want to make it evident I was already bored of this. I only looked after myself, but I had no interest in talking about it like these hens.

As the girls continued to marvel, I noticed Ulein had already gotten into a heated discussion with his fellow partners. That was actually discussing something. Not talking about which way your hair looked better or what dress made you stand out more, but what merchandise could promise more money, what ways to secure your business and just who to trust, it was something I was meant for and it was being squandered on this side.

“You honestly think we could get that much wealth from Ranfeld?” asked Ulein.

“I know it,” proclaimed one of his partners.

“But he’s almost on the opposite side of the Empire,” argued one of the other business partners. “And I’m pretty sure it would be us having to pay for most the transportation.”

“Excuse me!” Josef almost exclaimed. “I was asking how your morning was?”

“Oh!” It wasn’t much of a morning, I had slept in most the day. “I-it was fine.”

“You look lovely by the way.”

“Th-thank you.” Oh Morr! I didn’t need this now! Not while I was trying to get into what they were saying! “Um, I need a drink.”

“I’ll call over one of the servants to get you one.”

Oh, nobles had those didn’t they?

“Yes?” asked servant.

“The lovely Lady Gretchin requires a drink.”

“What may you be having?”

“J-just water.”

The servant prompted to it.

“Are you alright my lady?”

I was frustrated, I could see the men unfurl a map as they started working out transportation. “I’m fine.”

“Tell me,” spoke Ida Wurter. “Which market do you think offers the finest dress wares?”

Oh Sigmar! I maybe worked in a clothes shop, but only the low class district. I didn’t know any of the high class shops, any at all!

“Um sorry, I-I haven’t been to any of high class markets just yet.”

“Oh, well perhaps my daughter, Valeria and her friends could go with you to the market sometime?”

“Oh yes that would be lovely,” squeaked the girl I assumed to be Valeria. “I’d so love for us to become friends Gretchen.”

I didn’t. The only thing I could imagine us talking about all day was what dress matched us best.

“I’ll be sure to pass on when she’s available,” said Gertrude.

“Um, don’t worry,” cringed Valeria. “There won’t be any need of you, each of us have preferable escorts.”

“Of course you do, I’ll just be happy to pass along the message.”

I hoped by what Gertrude meant was never.

“Here is your water, my lady.”

The servant put over the shoulder I wanted it and I struck my hand against it. The water splashed across Josef making him bounce up. “You clumsy oaf!” he barked at the servant.

The servant was still taking in what happened.

“Apologies,” I said. “I was so eager for my water that I might have grabbed for it too hastily.”

Josef still glared his anger on the servant. “Get her a fresh cup of water and then help me get out a fresh pair of clothes.”

Josef stormed off with the servant shuffling behind him.

“Now,” continued Ulein, struggling to put his boy’s behaviour to the back of his head. “Do we really have no trading transport services that go along the river Stir?”

“We wouldn’t have any carriages to receive. Most in this town are being used.”

Ulein curled his lips. “We’ll just have to accept the extra cost then and receive them from the river Talabec then.”

“Why don’t you just open up a new trade post?” I asked. The noblemen were confused, but then turned to find it was me who had said that and were giving bewildered stares. “Sorry, but the town has plenty of unemployed people meaning you can easily hire workers at a low price, you can probably afford horses and supplies and there buildings that could be converted into stations.”

The nobles gave these turkey looks to one another, but Ulein had eventually given a delighted grin and spoke gently. “Because my dear, it would cost a grievous fortune to set up all that.”

“Not really by what I’m hearing, it sounds like it would make quite the profit.”

“Setting up a new business to take goods from the Stir river would cost more to simply receive them the Talabec river,” said one of his partners.

“It would generate more profit I think.” I gave a smirk. “You mentioned that no transport is available for the river Stir, imagine if there was and how much revenue that would generate when other businesses want to use that system and paid for it?”

The nobles were silent for a moment, but one spoke up. “You make it sound like opening up a trading post would be a gold mine idea, but just why hasn’t anyone else set up one now?”

“Either because no one’s realised it yet or has the resources like you gentlemen have.”

Ulein scorned. “We’re trying to explain to your girl, not discuss things?”

“What?” That hurt me!

“We’re men who have been educated and experienced in this sort of thing. You girls are meant for-for finer things in life.”

I couldn’t believe this! Th-they weren’t going to listen to me, because-because I was a woman!

“He’s right dear,” spoke Ida. “We women are brought up to just have run of the house and family. Things like politics, wars and businesses are best to be left to the men.”

“What if I have been given a mind that knows how a business should work?” I spat.

Ida had recoiled from that, but Ulien was unmoved.

“Then you would have your own business,” he said. “Women who do have a such things, but they are rare and unique females who just inherited the ownership because their father’s had no son. I very much doubt a woman would’ve climbed their way.”

“Then I will climb my way.”

Ulein chuckled. “Girl, I have seen many people climb and you have to be of hard stuff and you girl.” He gave me an arrogant grin that I wanted to rip off. “Will not have the sorts.”

My whole body wanted to spasm, but dignity had a tight hold over it. “I wish to leave,” I sneered.

Everyone was silenced.

“Excuse me?” asked Ida.

“I wish to leave.”

“I-I think you just need a moment to calm down,” suggested Ulein.

“No!” I growled. I took a deep breath as I tried to contain myself from doing worse. “I wish… to leave.”

“As you say,” slithered Gertrude. “My lady.”

He had gotten up and helped me from my seat.

“What’s happening?” asked Josef.

“It’s what has happened!” I snapped as Gertrude accompanied me out.

“Wait!” shouted Josef. He tried to follow.

“Leave me!” I ordered. Not like you’d listen to what I had to say or any of you!

I had gotten out of that house and back into the streets.

“I want to speak with Bella!”

“Was wondering why we didn’t stay for dinner at least.”

“Can you arrange that?”

“We can just go there now. I’m certain Bella’s eager to see you again.”

“Good.” My idea began to formulate. “Tell me about your drug traffic on our way there.”


“My dear,” said Bella emerging from the shadows, holding a peculiar thin pipe in her hand. “I was excited to see you again, but I didn’t think you’d be so adjusted to see me so soon.” It was true. Yesterday, when I last saw Bella, I found her too dangerous to be anywhere near, I was only forced into her lap after all. But now I felt it was just dangerous to be anywhere near her after a period of time. She raised out her arms. “Gertrude tells me you needed me… Or is it Slaanesh you need?”

That name- it made me lose control of my breath for a moment. “I-I want to start a business.”

“A business?”

“A trade post business to be precise.”

“Whatever for?” asked Bella sincerely. “Businesses are used to climb your way to the top and trust me when we of the Forgotten Bliss have raised your more than what the world of money can achieve in this town.”

“If I was at the top people would be listening to what I had to say.” I swear I would’ve snapped that if it wasn’t for this place’s soothing smell. “All my life I felt I could help people through my intellect! But I was always rejected because I was poor and uneducated and now it’s because I’m a woman!”

Bella took a curious puff of her substance. “And just how does business help that? Why not become a priestess or a politician?”

“It isn’t words or healing that makes the world run, its money and not just having it, being able to produce it. Coins are what run the Empire, always has. Being able to creating a successful business is like creating one of the organs that help it to function. A business provides work, access to goods and relations and all through money. I want to be a part of that, I want to feel like somebody and truly feel a part of this society through the lucrative business that I so belong.”

The cultist leader furrowed her eyebrow. “I see.”

“You sound uncertain?”

Bella nudged her head. “I guess that’s because the Forgotten Bliss looks after its members and the business world is a competitive and dogmatic place that inserting you in there threatens far too much stress.”

“I wanted this so that my ideas and intellect could be listened to.” I waved my hands over my body. “I wanted to be beautiful so that people would acknowledge me.” Just like all those girls in the tavern or wives leading their husbands. “And I had not thought about becoming a noblewoman, but I was sure by becoming a noblewoman, people would listen to me then, but no. Only way I’m going to be listened to is if I have my own business where I’m in charge and I have employees that have to listen to me.”

“Sigh very well, but why a trading post?”

I needed to breathe before I could respond. “Gertrude explained to me that you get your shipment of mandrakes from Araby,” I announced, making it clear I didn’t judge her. “However you’re forced to send out your own men to pick up the delivery. However the fact that your men try to smuggle this into the town as conspicuously as possible means they’re forced to carry a huge cargo on one horse with a lack of survival gear, making it not only unpleasant and unsafe for the men who actually do it, but almost hard to find anyone to do it on a trade that’s so vital to the Forgotten Bliss revenue.”

“So in others your actually having a business transport it instead of smuggle it.”

“We’ll still be smuggling it. But if we have employees who are in league with the Forgotten Bliss working in the trade post, we can have the stuff smuggled on our own wagons that would only get searched by my business. You wouldn’t just be saving the effort of having to get men then, you’d be making a profit by how much more you could carry on those wagons and the trade post would make a profit with the legit goods it would be carrying.”

Bella took another puff other substance and nodded impressed. “Very well, I’ll give you your trade post. It’ll take a while because I have to find a building and some horses, but there is nothing the Forbidden Bliss can’t grant.”


“Still,” whispered Bella turning away, back to the shadows. “Try not to get too fixated on ambitions though. Slaanesh offers desires and pleasure that he has no concern over someone that grants their own desires.”

I stared at her as I went. What she had said about Slaanesh seemed… so contradictory.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (New Story, comment plz)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Mon May 19, 2014 2:53 pm

The story of Gretchen chapter 6

I surveyed the construction of what would truly mark the beginning of my new life. As I wandered in the building’s interiors, I was already getting what I truly wanted from speaking with my accountant.

“So that is five wagons?” he asked.

“Should probably make it eight,” I said. “We won’t be using them all at once, but in case one breaks down we’ll always have on spare.”

“As you say my lady.” He then jotted down the request.

“My lady!” shouted one of the construction workers. “There is someone outside that wishes a word from you.”

I pondered if I needed to call Gertrude, being that he was supposed to keep close to me wherever I went. But then I decided to just let the sloth sleep wherever he was and deal with this on my own.

I marched outside, but was shocked to find… oh darn what was his name again?

“Gretchen!” yelped the nobleman, the son of the head of the pistolier club. “I-I have been searching, well, keeping an eye out for you, my lady and then heard your name, being said you were transforming the old Billworks warehouse into a trade post. I am so relieved to have another chance to meet with you again.”

“Uh yes,” I said anxiously. “And I am pleased to meet you again.”

He sighed. “And here I was worried you had abandoned my invitation to go horse riding for some silly honey duck.”

Darn! I had forgotten about the honey duck! That was two things I would curse Ulein Wurter for!... The Forgotten Bliss did grant my desires though. But focusing. “Sorry, I was unable to attend either that day.”

“No need to explain my lady. Although I won’t be able to offer horse riding for a while, I can offer some time to spend just between you and me.”

“S-sorry,” I muttered. “But I’m required here at the construction all day.” And even if it wasn’t I made it. I wanted to be here. It was where I belonged.

“Well, I’m free all day, so you don’t perhaps have time during your break at least.”

“Actually I’m afraid I’ll be using my breaks to catch up on some fallen behind work.”

“C-Can’t you have someone to do that?”

“It needs to be me.”

“Um fine then, there must be a time you’ve finished work?”

“I’ll be exhausted.”

“Fine tomorrow.”

“It’ll be the same answer I’m afraid.”

The nobleman rumbled. “Look my lady, Gretchen, I have to be with you again. Ever since I got to know you in the tavern, I got to know what a real woman is. Your beautiful, smart and just everything really a woman should be.”

And in other words one that didn’t belong in business. I turned away. “Sorry but I have work to get back to.”

“Please my lady. I will come for you each day if I must even if it’s just to gaze at you and hear your voice from a distance.”

I had a feeling that would be more than true. I could possibly use some muscle, but I had feeling it would have an effect on my business, already throwing out noblemen before its opening day even begun.

I sighed and faced him again. “Fine, I will let you have me for a quarter of an hour, but no more.”

He grinned with victory. “You will not regret it my lady. I am certain that is all I need to show just how affectionate I am towards you.”

He almost sounded sincere.

Later I strolled through the streets with who I remembered was Heinz Lummenford after asking one of my employees. Gertrude had chosen to instead stalk us rather than risk Heinz’s hostility if he got between the two of us.

“Where may I take you extravagant dove?”

I looked around and my eyes caught something I needed. “That tavern will do.”

The noble almost crashed to a stop. “As in there?”

The jokes of nobles not being caught anywhere dead near a low class establishment seemed to be far more than true. I wasn’t amused though. “Yes.”

The noble took a deep breath and nodded. “Very well then my lady.”

For someone who galloped on horses firing firelocks, he was no hurry to go rushing into the tavern. I almost had to drag him, but he had picked up on my comfort and tried to do the same. The inhabitants, even the ones who had already had eight things of beer, were dumb silenced when they noticed us. I smirked when none of them could take their eyes off me.

“Ale for me please?”

The taverner shook himself out of his trance. “Excuse me?”


“Y-yes mam and anything for you sir?”

“Do you have any wine?”

“Uh, apologies sir, but I doubt you’d like our wine very much?”

Heinz had wiped his forehead and looked around. “J-just water then.”

“As you wish sir. That’ll be three brass?”

“Brass?” gawked Heinz.

He sounded as if he had never heard of the word before. I just put a silver coin onto the table. “Keep the change.”

“Thank you mam,” gibbered the taverner more embarrassed than Heinz and started filling the cups.

One thing I was beginning to understand was the so-called donation from the Forgotten Bliss was actually the former wealth of Gertrude’s family. I doubt though it was actually handed from Gertrude to me, but more I shared Gertrude’s wealth, just that Gertrude had no interest in using it. He never did much but sleep and stay in his room, but then I suspect he would go out at night to perform his role of the apparent Silent six.

“There you are mam.”

“Thank you I said.”

Heinz took our drinks and we sat on one of the tables. He scanned around us before relaxing.

“So, you’re a woman enthralled with the world of business?”

That almost sounded patronising. I sipped my ale though then replied. “I’m a woman made for the world of business.”

He smiled, amused by that. “I can understand why you’ve set up your own business then. Why only now?”

I needed to think about that. “Just never occurred to me that I would need my own one. I had hopes that I would take part in my father’s business, b-but.” Come on, just say it, it wasn’t the Peter you were speaking of. “My brother took it all to himself.” I then growled. “Thinking women have no place in business.”

“I’m very sorry,” sympathised Heinz capitalising on my vulnerability. “I would have words with your brother if I could. I know just by listening to you’d be a great asset to your father’s business.”

Really? I took another sip of my ale. “So you don’t think women shouldn’t belong in businesses.”

“Well,” murmured Heinz. “I think most women don’t, but you do. You seem to be already setting up quite the factory.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was satisfying at least. “Thank you.”

He gazed at me and smirked. “It’s wonderful to be like this,” he then looked around the tavern, unsure if he truly meant that exactly. “Near you I mean. I have been with many women Gretchen, you’d be surprised just how many girls a pistolier can get, never mind the son of the pistolier captain. But I swear you are unlike any other. Your beauty was what drew me to you. But it was the passion in your voice and the exotic way in which you conduct yourself. I could scour the entire Empire and find a million women alike, but none of them would be like you.” I couldn’t believe that made me blush. It made me think though what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t been born with an ugly face. Really Heinz made me feel I could’ve swooned any man, if they had given me a chance. I then felt him grasp my hand. “I-I have favour to ask.”

Oh Sigmar! I tried to take another sip of my ale, but it was empty.


“Josef!” shouted Heinz.

The son of that fat head almost stormed through the tavern to get to us.

“S-sorry, so sorry,” he panted.

“Josef! What are you doing here?” demanded Heinz.

“I-I was looking for you Heinz and had then heard you had found Lady Gretchen and tracked you down as soon as I could.”

“And what purpose do you have with Lady Gretchen?” growled Heinz. This probably wasn’t good.

“Gretchen,” gulped Josef. “I heard about what my father said and I do not share his opinion. What you suggested was most valid and women should always have a place in business or otherwise.”

Now that was what I had wanted to hear. “Th-thank you.”

“Are you done?” asked Heinz.

“Not quite,” replied Josef returning the hostility in his tone. “Lady Gretchen, may I make up for that afternoon by having dinner with me tomorrow.”

“How about discussing this with her later. At the moment it’s supposed to be just me and her.”

“This’ll just take a moment.”

These two were beginning to becoming more unreceptive than everyone else in the tavern. I got up. “That’s alright, I need to be hurrying back to work.”

Heinz almost leapt in the way. “Wait, can I see you tomorrow.”

“She can’t!” retorted Josef, adding to the blockage. “She’s seeing me tomorrow.”

“She can have dinner with you later!”

“Later? You might want to mean more!”

I wanted to say I couldn’t see none of them, but I doubt it wouldn’t got in the way of what was going on. Oh Ulric! I had always graced at the idea of two men fighting over me, but I began to wonder what was so appeasing about it.

“Excuse me gents!” Gertrude! He had slithered between me and the two. “But my Lady is urgently required back at the trade post.”

Heinz froze at Gertrude’s appearance, but regained his composure. “This’ll just take a moment.”

“Yes,” agreed Josef teaming up.

“Your time with her is up.” The two almost seemed like pups to a beast like Gertrude. “The Lady is needed now.”

The gentlemen didn’t say anything when Gertrude turned me around and escorted me out of the tavern.

“Th-thank you.” I couldn’t believe I said.

“As said,” replied Gertrude. “I am here to protect and serve. Not that it’s what Bella told me to do. But because you are a member of the Forgotten Bliss.”


Both Josef and Heinz continued to bother me and a few others like Nickil and Joerg also found out where I was. They were like dogs waiting for me to come out. Fortunately I had Gertrude to turn them away if needed.


I turned away from scaffolding I was keeping an eye onto at actually find Bella out here. She moved across the lumbering workforce with such elegance.

“B-Bella?” It was so strange to see outside the Forgotten Bliss.

“Enjoying yourself I hear?”

“Y-yes. What brings you?”

She smiled. “Gertrude has told me about your admirers that sit outside your door like sad puppies, but you see them more as a nuisance than amusement?”

I frowned. “That’s because they are. I have no time for them?”

“How? Are you that busy?”

I threw my arms out. “Yes? I’m overseeing the construction of my new trade post.”

Bella rolled her eyes. “You have supervisors here to do that for you.”

“I’d much rather do it myself. I’ve been making so many decisions and ideas that I know will make the trade post work more efficiently.”

“And that’s marvellous dear. But rather than delving into your work, you should be indulging yourself.”

“Trust me when work like this is my indulgence. I have people who listen to what I have to say, I’m contributing to the Empire with this trade post and I just feel so alive here.”

“Fanciful. Considering your first day with his gift I was told that you went into a tavern and enjoyed the comfort of a group of young men, but now it’s almost like you want nothing to do with them.”

“I just wanted to experience it and I’m never really just been into meaningless company.”

“By that you mean instead of just having someone to experience a relationship, you would actually want a commitment?”

“And what is wrong with that?”

Bella paced up to me and stroked my hair. “Nothing. But realise that being with someone isn’t as different as being married to them. Sure, they say the person you’re married with is your true love, but all it is is a strong emotion that drives them. That emotion could just die out and you’ll find yourself holding up a divorce paper or that person could die the next day and you’ll just find yourself finding your emotion rebuilding itself for someone else. Could well be that you find someone else while in that committed relationship and find that you regret it.”

I wanted to argue and say how they just had married too quick or something. But trying to argue about the concept of love was pointless to me. “Look, I’ll find someone when I do and why the concern for me getting into a relationship?”

“I just want you to experience,” she whispered. “You’ll find that when being with someone while watched over by Slaanesh can be one of the greatest pleasures he has to offer.”

“Wh-what do you mean.”

Bella studied her fingers. “You’ll find that one thing he does for us all is heightened all our senses, our smell, our tastes and...” She brushed her finger across my cheek. It made me feel so electrified. “Our touch. Imagine as all that sensation of being pressed against a man’s skin, how great it would feel just rubbing together and every feel amplified.” I was tempted to catch her finger when she took it back. Bella then paced away. “Just wanted to let you know what you might be missing.”

I wasn’t sure if that thing I just felt could only be performed by Bella or it if could be done by any person I was with. I became curious.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (New Story, comment plz)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Thu May 22, 2014 4:33 pm

The Story of Gretchen, chapter 7

Although the so called art of lovemaking was meaningless without the actually part of love to me, I wanted to experience that touch that Bella gave me again. That and it wouldn’t hurt to leave my work for one day and give someone a chance, you never know really.

That was why I was standing with Heinz Lummenford in his home. He had been about to propose something I had dreams about that would never come true. I was going to say no, but I nonetheless wanted to hear those words, even if now wasn’t the time. I was also with him because I had gotten him to get his family make honey duck.

His home though was almost as vast though, with an array of armaments presented on the walls. His father, Varl Lummenford, though had greeted me just like Ulein, hopefully he didn’t turn out to be like Ulein.

“So this is one of my favourite rifles,” introduced Varl to firearm showcased. “Got it from Nuln. The transportation was enough to make this rifle cost more than five healthy cows, but by Sigmar do I love the sound it makes as I pull on the trigger.”

I wanted to yawn so badly. “Impressive my lord.”

“Oh! I almost forgot to mention!” For such a fearsome man, it was odd to see him cringe. “I forgot to mention that we’d be having a Witch hunter as our guest for dinner as well.”

“A Witch hunter!” He couldn’t mean!

Heinz read the troubled look I had. “Father! How could you neglect to mention we’d be having a Witch hunter as our guest?”

“I guess I got caught up by the lovely lady here.”

“So why did you not mention it yesterday? Or the day before that?”

“Look son,” said Varl putting his hands out. “It’s not that big a deal. The reason I’ve invited the Witch hunter here is so he wouldn’t do something like burst through the door like some raving hound the day after. He’s been sniffing around the noble district and I saw it best to show him we have nothing to hide. So long as you remain calm that shouldn’t be too much of a bother.”

“Sigh, very well father. But I really doubt I have to tell you to warn me that you’re inviting Witch hunters into the house before I invite guests.”

It wasn’t much of a bother for them, but it was a bother for me. I had something to hide and if this was the same Witch hunter! I needed Gertrude!

“A-apologies,” I stuttered, backing away. “I think there-there’s something wrong with my dress and I needed Gertrude to look at it.”

“Your bodyguard?” questioned Varl.

“Y-yes. I want to make sure it won’t-won’t-.” Had to say it was my dress that was wrong. “Affect me in anyway and he’s good at that sort of thing.” I bolted down the stairs before they questioned me further and found the miscreant playing with one of Varl’s swords. “Gertrude.”

He raised his eyebrow and turned to me. “Yes?”

“Witch hunter!” I panted. “He’s coming here! Been invited by Varl for dinner.”

Gertrude bit his lip. “Well that’s a bother.”

“What are we going to do?”

“Not much we can do but avoid using your family name. Soon as he knows your full name is Gretchen Ulsware, it’ll be enough to add it all together that you’re the same Gretchen Ulsware that disappeared.”

“What if he asks for my family name? Heinz knows my family name, so the Witch hunter will know I’m lying just from Heinz’s reaction.”

“Hope he’s forgotten then and say something that only sounds like Ulsware.” He shrugged. “Like Alsworthy.”

“My lady.” Heinz almost hurried down the stairs. “Please don’t say you’re trying to leave.” He came to me and held my hands. “I know a Witch hunter is terrifying, but if you leave before he comes, he’ll realise and he’ll just come to track you down to interrogate you.” He came closer. “It’s best you faced him now where you’ll have me at your side.”

I wasn’t that moved, but what he said made sense.

The door was thumped, causing me to yelp and that caused Heinz to hold me.

I watched however as one of the servants got the door and entered, was the Witch hunter, the one that made me give up my brother.

“A-a-afternoon.” Heinz had walked out and reached to shake, but the Witch hunter stepped pass him.

“Your father home boy.”

“Y-yes, he’s upstairs.”

“I may as well say hallo to him then.”

I felt so cold that I felt I was about to snap. I wanted to scream. I didn’t know how I felt then when the Witch hunter made eye contact with me. He lifted his hand and tipped his hat and continued walking. Why did it have to be him again?


I sat with Heinz’s family and the brooding Witch hunter and ate. I had tried to be far apart from the Witch hunter, but the best I could manage was being on the other side of the table.

He dug into his food unlike nobles here. He sawed through his meat as if he had just killed the beast himself and then devoured it like a ferocious carnivore.

“So how goes the hunt?” asked Varl.

The Witch hunter patiently finished his meat and then swallowed, his gulp sounded like a drum beat. “Your town is infested.”

“Excuse me.”

The Witch hunter glared at him. “I said your town is infested.”

“In-infested by what?”

“What do you think?”

“Well, do you mean by witches, mutation-?”


Oh Sigmar.


“Of course,” growled the Witch hunter cutting up his food. “If it had been witches, your town would be incinerated.”

“B-but if by traitors then, why haven’t they done anything yet?”

“They have been. They’ve been corrupting the souls of mankind one day at a time. I can’t walk into one of your streets without picking up the scent of some foul that has given himself over to the Dark gods.”

“The dark gods!” choked Varl. “My goodness, apologies, but there are ladies and children in the room.”

His eyes leered onto me. “So we do.” He couldn’t smell me, could he? He then went back to his food. “But that’s why I’m in the noble district. This infestation is too root and yet hidden that it would have to be someone intelligent and charismatic to orchestrate all this.”

“Any leads?”

“That place called the Forgotten Bliss.” He then gave Gertrude a look. “The one your Lady Gretchen’s body guard is a member of.”

All eyes were on Gertrude, but he just smiled. “Yes,” he replied. “You came there accusing the sanction on conspiring against Sigmar and performing forbidden arts. But you found it was nothing more than a club that liked to experience the simple things.”

“That I did,” muttered the Witch hunter. “But tell me, Lady Gretchen. What makes you hire a filth like him? You’re not a part of that group are you?”

By Sigmar! I-I had to speak to him. I had to talk, b-but I didn’t know what to say.

“Are you alright?” asked Heinz. I nodded as best as I could. “Apologies,” he said to the Witch hunter. “But Lady Gretchen is delicate woman who is new to this town. I hope that it’s understandable that she can’t speak up at the minute.”

“She’s going to have to,” he sneered. “If your father hasn’t told you, you can’t go unanswered to a Witch hunter.”

“Well I can testify that you have no need to question her sir. Lady Gretchen is an innocent and pure woman.”

What was he doing!

“Heinz!” snapped the father.

“Apologies father, but I’m just speaking up for a Lady here.”

“I think my Lady can speak for herself just fine,” said Gertrude. He then winked at me. “Go on.”

Thank Sigmar. Heinz had only been making it worse by trying to help me not have to speak. Only ones who didn’t speak to a Witch hunter were the ones who had something to hide. With the attention back on me, I felt the encouragement given by Gertrude to speak out.

“Yes,” I admitted. The Witch hunter could smell lies, but I doubt he could unravel twists within truth. “But only as a business associate. Its leader Bella invested into my business to obtain goods for the organisation.” It had felt awful speaking to him again, but I had managed with dignity.

The Witch hunter leered, but was content. “Fair enough.” He had taken another bite of his food and the spoke to Varl. “I have hope that your Gritty Firebrand will be at my disposal if I have need?”

The man was stunned. “Well if you wish. But my club is made of fiery young men who ride upon horses firing pistols in hope of one day becoming knights. I’m not sure if you want a group of impetuous boys running around with you as I’ve only really been preparing them if the town needs defending or we’re called into battle by the Elector count.”

“They’re the only ones I can count on. The state troopers in this town have been neglected and ill-organised from years of peace and stability in this area. What’s worse I don’t know who to trust amongst them as the infestation festers more around the poor community,” explained the Witch hunter. “I’ve seen your boys though in the taverns and about the street. They’re all healthy and fit and I’m sure you’ve trained them better than the soldiers who are meant to be the mainstay of protecting the town. They’re also close to each other and show little sign of corruption.”

I was annoyed by the proud smile that was about to burst Heinz’s face.

“V-very well then,” said Varl impressed. “You have the Gritty Firebrands ready to command when needed.”

“Good,” he said cutting up his meat. “Be sure to have them ready.”

The way he sounded, I didn’t like it.


“You sure you’ll be alright my Lady?” questioned Heinz.

“Yes, I’ll have Gertrude with me so I’ll be quite safe.” It felt so strange saying that.

“Very well my lady. It was a true pleasure having you and apologies for my Father’s abrupt guest.”

“It was fine, truly. Now farewell.”

I marched through the streets with my protector. “You are going to do something about that Witch hunter aren’t you?”

“You mean like make him disappear?”

“Aren’t you.”

“Disappointingly no.”


“Bella doesn’t want us crossing the Witch hunter. Too much of a risk. We fail, he’ll have a stronger scent, we succeed and actually kill him, another will take his place.”

“If you haven’t noticed, he’s close. In fact I’m pretty sure he knows everything about the Forgotten Bliss and is just putting everything into place.”

“Can’t do anything I’m afraid, not without Bella’s say and I doubt she’s going to be swayed just because you being a frightened chicken, even with me back you and trust me I would. That Witch hunter’s been pushing it since you first introduced me to him.”

I wanted to say sorry, but it prevented Gertrude from making me disappear. “Do we really need her permission though to make him disappear?”

“She’ll be mad if we do and when it’s not great to have Bella mad at you.”

“So how about if she didn’t know, that no one knew but us?”

Gertrude raised his eyebrow. “You’re a more conniving girl than I thought.”

I stopped and glared. “You people took my brother, but that Witch hunter destroyed my life. In exchange for handing over my brother and publically executing him, he turned me into an outcast who had no chance of surviving, giving me a slow and lonesome death.” My blood seethed. “He destroyed one life; I will not leave him a chance to destroy this new one.”

He turned to face me and smiled. “What do you have in mind then and it’s going to have to be a pretty convincing accident to make sure Bella didn’t know it was us who did it.”

“I will think of something.” I was a smart girl after all.


I had to kill a Witch hunter, but how? I had heard tales of these mortal men slaying creatures that were meant to have slaughtered thousands and were vigilant to every moment, even their own shadows. But those had to be just tales, a Witch hunter was still human, no matter how many great acts or deeds told otherwise.

My thought was interrupted by men shouting.

One of the planks of wood being hauled up slipped out of the rope and had nearly stomped on one of the workers who had dodged it.

“Would you men do a better job of avoiding this place be more of a hazard than it already is!” shouted the supervisor.

I watched as the workers started securing the rope together in the bustling construction site.

“We’ll kill him here.”

“In your own business?” asked Gertrude from behind me.

“There’s no place better.”

“Yes, but wouldn’t it make you the first suspect.”

“No matter what we do we’ll be a suspect. We have to be the ones to kill the Witch hunter ourselves and it’ll be hard to avoid someone who saw us somewhere we likely wouldn’t naturally be. Better if it was someplace I’m always at, a place people see me all the time.”

“Okay… It’s going to put a dent in your place of business, knowing a Witch hunter died here.”

“People will shrug at his misfortune and won’t really care so long as we make it look like the perfect accident.”

“Alright, so how are we going to lure him here and make it look like the perfect accident?”

That was the hard part. Couldn’t make it look like he was hot on something’s trail. Had to be something where he was going about his business and had to be wondering into a construction site and was just careless. But just when had a Witch hunter ever done that?

Come on, he was still human, humans needed to sleep, eat and… relieve themselves. I turned to Gertrude.

“Where does this Witch hunter stay?”

“In an Inn.”

“Do they serve food?”

“I could find out, but I don’t think dying from poison counts as an accident.”

“I want to poison him,” I hissed. “But only to make his bowels move.”
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (New Story, comment plz)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Sun May 25, 2014 3:04 pm

The Story of Gretchen, Part 8

I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to have to do it, but I had to. It was only me and Gertrude and one of us had to perform what I was about to do or be the one that had to do the killing part and although this Witch hunter destroyed me, I wasn’t exactly ready to kill someone yet.

“Mam,” hissed the boy from inside the building. “I-I did as you ask.”

“Good.” I grabbed the boy and helped him climb out through the window. “And no one saw you?”

“Well I think one of the chiefs heard me tamper with the soup, but I really doubt he saw me.”

I guess that was good enough to avoid any suspicion. I handed him a couple of silver and patted him on the head. “Now, there’s a few more if you swear not to speak about this to anyone.”

“I swear by Sigmar mam?”

“Could, meet me here in about a week and I’ll hand you another silver if no one has spoken about you being in the Inn kitchen.”

The boy nodded eagerly and then ran off after I gave him a friendly nudge.

It had felt nail-biting enough getting a child to do it, but children were known for sneaking into kitchen’s and if he had got caught, people would’ve been less inclined to believe them it was because of me, so long as he had emptied the vial.

I tried to relax as much as possible for my next plan. I had worked out that Joerg Karolous helped with his Father’s work close to here and had made it that he would temporarily leave his work for a while to meet me here. He had made it more convenient by saying he would just abandon his work for today.

I stepped out nearby the front of the Inn and found Joerg waiting.

“Ah, there you are my Lady Gretchen, I was eagerly awaiting for you.”

“I am pleased Joerg. I was concerned I had taken too long and might have left.”

“I would’ve waited all winter for you,” jostled Joerg.

Joerg was about to lead us into a walk, but I needed us to wait a moment. Thinking fast, I clutched my knees and panted.

“Are you alright my lady?”

“Y-yes, just need to catch my breath for a moment. Is it alright if we stand here a bit?”

“We could always find somewhere to sit?”

“No, just need to catch my breath is all.”

“Did you run here or something?”

“Uh-huh, I-I did not want to be late.”

There was a big smile on Joerg as he had the idea that I was within his rope. “As said my Lady, I would’ve waited for you all winter, any man would have.”

I didn’t know how long I needed to keep this up, but I would drag it if I must. “Would you not have been concerned and gone in search for me?”

That had Joerg. “Uh, I would not worry, for you would’ve had your faithful bodyguard Gertrude at your side and he seems like a man who could repel any dangers.”

Problem was that Gertrude was a danger, luckily to the right people. “You have much faith in someone like him then?”

“I have faith that you would’ve made the right choice. I hear you are quite the intelligent women.”

It seemed young noble boys had a better idea of women than old crusty farts. I spotted just in time though, the Witch hunter leaving the Inn. I then grabbed Joerg’s arm and walked. “Feeling better now, let’s go this way.” I had intentionally rushed him to get the Witch hunter’s attention and as I knew he would, he stalked us, perfect. But the real timing would be when that poison reached through his system.

“Why do you wish to go this way?” questioned Joerg.

“I just want to show you my trade post that’s being constructed.”

“Oh! Of course my lady!”

We almost hurried through the streets, but I then needed to slow it down. That Witch hunter didn’t look like he needed to go for chamber pot anytime soon. I needed to time this right however. I needed to slow us down to give that poison more time to work.

“Sorry, I did not arrive for dinner on the day you requested. I just wasn’t feeling up to it.”

“That is fine my lady, but know that you are free to grace at my household at any time.”

“You mean just walk in and you will be there waiting for me,” I jostled, needing to act innocent.

“I’ll wait all winter if needed.”

I chuckled, but I didn’t know what else to say. I was just too concentrated on waiting for the Witch hunter to get uncomfortable, but the man was like a walking statue. Please say he wasn’t aware that I was aware of him.

“What do you think both Heinz and Josef?” questioned Joerg.

“Uh, I enjoy both their company,” I needed to say something that would make him comfortable. “But Josef’s father is a pompous idiot and Heinz is so aggressive.”

It made Joerg smirk. “And what about me.”

I pressed against him. “You though are just charming.”

“Nothing bad to say?”

“Your only eager enough to wait for me all winter, but not eager enough to come chasing after me,” I whispered. “But don’t get any ideas.”

I looked back and finally, I noticed the Witch hunter rub his stomach. I needed to get to the construction site now.

“Um, is it alright if we hurry, I’m sort of getting cold.”

Joerg winced and looked up at the sky. “But it’s a bright day my lady?”

“Yes, well I guess I’m just that tired. I needed to get to my trade post to rest.”

“Wish for me to carry you my lady?”

I giggled. “No, I am fine enough to walk there on my own.”

We went there, but I wasn’t sure if we make it in time. The Witch hunter looked to be duelling with keeping up with us or go to relieve himself somewhere now. I needed to hurry, but I couldn’t make it too obvious.

“In second thought.” Couldn’t believe I was doing this. “Could you carry me?”

Joerg was shocked. “Are you truly alright my lady?”

I put my arms around him. “I just want to see if you would truly carry me through the streets.”

He smiled again and hooked me off my feet. I wanted to snap at him, but needed to keep calm. We were going faster now indeed anyways, men seemed to always walk faster than women.

He hurried faster than expect and we were already upon the construction site, I just needed the Witch hunter where he was. The man was straddling as he struggled to contain himself. People walked pass him curiously, but I needed one person to notice him that would pull the trigger to this plan. I just needed to give him more time.

“You can put me down now,” I told Joerg.

“I could carry you inside my lady.”

“No! No! Just put me down now.”

He did as ordered. I had to continue buying time though, keep getting the Witch hunter there to stay.

“Are you certain you’re alright my lady?”

“Yes, I just want us to marvel at my trade post,” I claimed. “Look at it because this really will turnabout our town.”

“Oh? How is that?”

I glared at him as if he didn’t think it would. “Businesses owners will be able to afford transportation at a much cheaper price save them hundreds of gold which could lead to providing cheaper goods or able to afford more jobs, the possibilities by just offering a safer and more convenient that leads to money save look are almost limitless.”

“How do you know they won’t just keep the money you’ve saved them?”

“Excuse me?”

“Apologies my lady. But I know for a fact that when my father saves money, he has no interest in hiring more workers or cheapening the cost of his business and would just rather keep it in his pocket.”

“B-but hiring more workers increases efficiency and lowering prices attracts more customers.”

“I’m afraid they just don’t see it that they would save enough.”

“They would have to be selfish and stupid curs then to not realise that then.”

Joerg looked tempted to say something back, but he didn’t dare. It was then a realised I was caught up and looked back. He was gone! Where! Oh please say it had worked! The plan was that I had noted to one of my employees that if people wanted to use the chamber pots to lead them back into the construction site to use it. This would give trails for Gertrude to plan his trap and have someone innocent apart of the plan. I needed to see if this had work.

“Uh could we step in for a moment? I-I need to see Gertrude quickly?”

“Wait, your bodyguard is working in the trade post.”

“Yes!” I snapped. If my plan had failed, the Witch hunter will find out he was poison and he would work it out was me. I needed to know. “Please it’s urgent I see him.”

“Very well my lady.”

We entered the trade post and there was a commotion.

“My lady!” called one of my employees. “There’s been an accident.” Please say, please say. “A Witch hunter’s was just trying to use on of our chamber pots, but has been crushed by a collapsed support beam!” Yes! I tried so hard not to beam at the gratitude inside. Thank Slaanesh. “He’s holding onto life though.”

“What!” I gasped.

“Y-yes, I think we can still save him.”

Oh please Slaanesh! “Fine, bring us to him.”

“You wait here, my lady,” said Joerg. “I’ll take a look and see what I can do.”

“No!” I shouted. Just great I was losing. “Apologies Joerg, but I need to see this for myself.”

Joerg was baffled, but nodded and we went to the Witch hunter.

I stood from a distance though as the workforce gathered around working out how to get out this twenty-four inch wide support beam that could crush a horse off the man. It was right across his ribs, how did it not crush him! Thinking about it, it was as Bella said, Sigmar protected those he chose. If only he had offered this protection to someone more deserving, but that was why I dedicated to Slaanesh now.

Joerg and the other worker ran ahead contribute to the problem.

“Witch hunter’s made of tough stuff,” said Gertrude appearing to my side. “Don’t think I’ll ever see a man survive something like that.”

“You need to do something,” I snarled.

“Like what? I can’t exactly position another support beam to fall on him in time and there aren’t many apparent actions I can make without drawing attention.”

“What about if the place collapsed on him?”

Gertrude raised his eyebrow. “What about your business.”

“It can be replaced unlike our lives. But the real question is can you accomplish that?”

“Well I can’t work miracles, but I could know another support beam out of place that could cause the place to cave in. The issue is I would need time.”

“Do it,” I said. “I’ll see if I can hold them off from pulling the Witch hunter.”

“Good luck,” replied Gertrude.

I stepped over to the group and shouted. “What’s going on?”

“Uh, well as you can see a Witch hunter’s trap under a fallen support beam.”

I made a slow advance of the Witch hunter, trying to keep glowering presence to take the attention away from his agony. “Who is responsible?”

“My lady,” said Joerg. “This isn’t the time, we need to get the Witch hunter out now before he dies.”

I took my time responding, gazing at the man who murdered my brother, suffering for his own crime. “Correct, do you have a plan yet?”

“We do?”

“What is it?”

“We plan to enacting it soon my lady.”

“I want to hear it.”

“There’s no time for me to explain.” Joerg groaned. “Look, you men just going get the rope and the rest of you find somewhere great to tie it.”

Buying time was much harder than what I had thought. I needed to think of something better than this.

“A horse!” I called out. “Do you think we could get a horse to help with this?”

“A horse would be better,” mentioned one of the workers.

“Is there time to find one?” asked another.

“There’s a stable not far.”

“I’m certain the Witch hunter will manage to hold on until we get it then,” said Joerg.

“Right,” I said. I needed to make it look like I wanted actually save the hunter now. “Some of you men continue getting the rope ready, rest of you help support the Witch hunter.”

“Who’ll get the horse then?”

“You!” I pointed at one of the men.

It was then a matter of time waiting then. A while later a man shouted.

“Look out!”

One of the support beams holding up the rope capsized out of place, it smashed into the other side of the roof, making a great gash that send planks of wood scatter and knocked other support beams of place. In just minutes the whole place was falling apart as easily as that.

“Quick!” yelled Joerg. “We have leave!”

“What about the Witch hunter!” I shouted.

Joerg gave a despaired look. “We have to truly hope that the Witch hunter is protected by Sigmar.”

I gave a dramatic pause. “Alright, please look for Gertrude though, he’s somewhere in here investigating the accident.”

“He’ll be fine my lady, I should be more concerned about getting you out.”

“No!” I snapped. “I want to make sure he’s safe.”

“Uh very well my lady! How about we go and see if he’s already outside.”

“He won’t have,” I said. “Just go and look up on the second floor to make sure he’s not up there.”

A wood plank crashed beside us and Joerg sighed. “Very well.”

And he hurried off.

Not that this was necessary, but I wanted this. As everyone scattered, I knelt next to Witch hunter. The man was barely conscious. He coughed blood and tried to move, but he was so helpless. I looked up and saw it was just a matter of time until the entire roof dropped on him.

“Say yourself girl,” grouched the Witch hunter. “I’m just done.”

I patiently fixed my eyes on him. “I just wanted to get you a chance.”

The Witch hunter wasn’t very surprised. “You call this a chance.”

“It’s similar to the chance you gave me, only you won’t be able to resurrect yourself.”

The Witch hunter was confused and gave me a drunk look. “What sort of riddle is this?”

“No riddle. When you condemned my brother to a public execution as a traitor, you left me to a horrible fate as an outcast destined to die from despair.”

The Witch hunter actually showed feelings then. “I truly thought you were a girl with a pure soul. But I can see someone like me can even be fooled.”

It was touching but I didn’t care. I looked back up to see I didn’t have much time, so I had to make this quick. “You weren’t fooled. It’s just that a pure girl doesn’t have the strength to survive in repulsive world like this unless she has the ambition and power to change it so.”

The Witch hunter brimmed, but quickly changed to a disappointed look. “For someone I thought was so smart, you’re as big a fool for trusting the Dark powers.”

“Just what I would expect from who is blinded by the ideals of his own God and does not wish to experience what the other Gods truly have to offer.” I then glared at him. “But this will be your last experience. Alone and helpless, just as you had made me.”

I then walked away and left him, ignoring his gaze as the structure was finally giving its dying breath.

From outside, I watched as vengeance was put to rest.

“I assume you Joerg buried there as well,” said Gertrude appearing at my side.

He would’ve grown suspicious at my strange behaviour during all this. “Yes.”

“Have to say,” slithered Gertrude. “It was enthralling what we just did, a great experience that Slaaanesh rewards us for.”

“Quiet,” I told him as people gathered.

It was painful watching my business crumble. But I would rebuild it, it could only advance up again, just as my new life would.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (New Story, comment plz)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Wed May 28, 2014 6:17 pm

The story of Gretchen Part 9

I had exited from my bedroom and started making my way down the stairs rubbing my eyes. As I did, I was still feeling the taste of satisfied vengeance.

“Morning my dear.”


She was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me with a warm smile.

“Apologies for thy abrupt visit. But needed to come here soon as I heard about what unfortunately happened to your business.”

I wasn’t sure if she was sincere or just playing with me. But whether or not, I had to go with it. I came next to her and we paced to the lounge room. “Yes, I was in agony when I had heard it had all just fell apart.” Indeed I was, but it had to be done.

“And I so sorry to hear that child.” Bella had taken a seat on one of the lounge chairs. “I suspect though it was sabotage.”

“Sabotage?” I stuttered, not by me please, not by me.

“Yes, I hear rumours that due to the fall of your trade post, Ulein Wurter has started establishing his.” What! “Wasn’t he the one who upset you?”

“Y-yes.” It was a great addition to the cover up. But curse him. He would refuse to admit I was right, but take my idea anyways while he had the opportunity.

“He makes you angry doesn’t he?” questioned Bella with a smile across her face. “We can make him disappear if you like? I’m certain Gertrude has shared with you his main purpose among the Forgotten Bliss.”

“No,” I sneered. “Making him disappear from this world would be granting mercy from watching his own world collapse around him.” The anger felt good in me somehow as if the desire for vengeance made it feel like a warm flame. “I want to make it happen now.”

“So you want to ruin him?”

“Yes and I want him to know that I am the person who did it.”

Bella looked uncomfortable. “Now something like that doesn’t suit the interest of the Forbidden Bliss having one of its members who can crumble the business of someone like the Wurter family. It brings far too much attention and fear to our blissful cult.”

“It wouldn’t be fear they felt. It would be joy if someone like me ran their businesses, offering the things that this town needs that only I am willing to give.”

“Maybe amongst the lower class. But I’m afraid other business runners would become afraid and then become our enemies.”

My face twisted, but I couldn’t properly frown at a lady like Bella. She was right though. To overthrow the Wurter family and bring such competition would bring such an aggressive appearance to the other families. I had to remember though how easily I could manipulate the young men like Josef and almost how easy it was. It made me smile. “Trust me when there is a way I can topple Ulein Wurter, have my place in business and give you the efficient drug trade I promise.”

It made Bella give quite the curious look.


I laughed with Josef. He had told me a funny story about Joerg before his unfortunate passing. It made me feel ashamed I had taken such a graceful man’s life. If I hadn’t though Joerg would’ve been brought attention on how suspicious I had been.

“So when Fredrick came back and sat on hit saddle that had been covered in oil, he slid completely off. It was unbelievable how it happened, he just sat there one moment and just fell.” He enact the scene as Fredrick sitting one second and then just falling off the next. It made me spew my drink back into my cup. “Easy there my lady,” laughed Josef.

“Sorry, I had no idea Joerg was quite the prankster.”

“Indeed he was. When not chasing women or on the range then you had to be wary if he was going to get you next.” Josef looked into his cup. “His foolery brought us such delights that we may never witness again.”

“I am sorry.” It did truly make me feel bad. If only that Witch hunter had just died when the support beam collapsed on him. “But by the way, Josef, I wondered if I could ask you something.”

“Anything my lady.”

“Do you share any control in your father’s business?”

“Well, my father said when I was ready, he would hand me one of his properties to help me be ready for when I inherited from him.”

Perfect. “Do you think that will be anytime soon?”

“Excuse me?”

“Apologies, but I’m told my trade post will not be ready for sometimes thanks to the accident and I’m so eager to indulge myself within business that I thought maybe you could help me by letting me help you.” I had tried to speak in the same way Bella would to me.

“Are you offering a partnership?”

I could read the interest on Josef’s face. “Not exactly a partnership, but allow me to give you advice and ideas on decisions to bolster your sales.” I didn’t want to be too committed to Josef and the idea was to look like there was as little as me involved in this as possible.

“But you would come in every work day for us to work together?”

“Of course.”

“Excellent. I know this brewery that I knew my father wouldn’t mind letting us have.”

It was tempting with all the ale I could probably drink, but I doubt it might actually have ale. “Um I was more thinking a clothes shop.”

“A clothes shop? I don’t think those are profitable enough.”

“I have a lot of experience that I’m pretty sure I help you turn it into quite the money making business.”


“What sort of clothes shop can we expect?”

“Excuse me?”

“Would kind of shop would it be?”

“Either I guess, my father owns three and wouldn’t mind giving up either one of them. There’s this small shop he’s recently acquired by it truly lacks at making any profit.”

I smirked. “That one then, normally the ones that lack in truly making any profit are just because it has no proper business profit that needs turning around.”

“Okay, but how are you going to do that?”

“I’ll have to see this business first before I can explain. But I assure you that once you’re in charge and listen to me and trust me.” I leaned towards him. “This will be the start of your own monopoly.”

“Monopoly? As in your plan for me to form my own business empire?”

“Why not?”

“But I already have my father’s business to inherit”

“It’s just a thought. Imagine it after all, if you do so well at making money come out of this shop, you could always then expand your business to another shop.”

“Hm, I guess, but if I have you that will be the real fun part.”

“Great, when can you get your father to pass over the shop?”

“Well I’m supposed to be going to meet him right now so I’ll find out. You can come if you wish?”

“That’s alright.” I wouldn’t be able to stand being near him. “Just send a messenger by to when we can meet up.”

“Very well.” He got up and took my hand to kiss. “It was wonderful to see you again me lady and I look forward to our partnership.”

I nodded and the noble left. Gertrude then appeared at my side.

“Right, so how’s helping Ulein’s boy become a success ruining him?”

“Because I’ll be pitting son against father, where I will be able to have Josef come out on top.”

“Making it sound like it will be easy to pit them against each other.”

“They don’t share their views on women which is already a sign that they’re different people who happen to live under the same house. Ulein’s also pig headed and childish meaning that when I have his own son outdo him, he will feel threatened that the younger lion is starting to take his place at the head of the family before the old one is passed on. I have a feeling Ulein had no intention letting that happen.”

“Sounds like a plan. But tell me, what do we get out of this if you’re doing this for free?”

“Josef will listen to every word I say, that includes the employees I want handling the wagons from our merchant partners.”


Josef had my arm and Gertrude stood behind my shoulder as we went through the market district.

“My father tried pressing me for another line of work, but I had managed to make it clear to him that this was the business we would have.”

“We?” I smiled. “I take it you were open about taking ideas from a woman.”

“More than I intended. I’m afraid things had become very heated between me and my father. But he had already agreed to handing over the business before we got into the subject of women’s roles in business.”

Good, Ulein would probably have been childish enough to going back on his promise to hand Josef one of his properties if he knew I had something to do with. What was better was that my wedge between the two was already starting.

My eyes were drawing to how familiar this place though, it was the same route actually to work, my old work. I then spotted it, the Golden star fabric.

“Wait, is that the shop?”

“Yes, how did you guess?”

“I-I, you said this business you had taken over suffered from poor management.” I said. “This business is known for that.”

“Hopefully it’ll be all about to change.”

I gleamed. “It is.”

We entered the shop and we were greeted by Markus, who bowed before me as I imagined he would one day.

“G-good evening, y-you must be Ulein’s boy. I-I am the manager of this establishment, Markus Kumpoff, the Golden star fabric.”

“Yes, good day and this is my partner Gretchen-.”

“And this is my bodyguard Gertrude!” I cut in. I really should’ve used a fake name.

“Well I-I am at your serve Josef Wurter and my lady.”

“Excellent, we’ll walk around then, you can inform us of how things work around here and we can start coming up with ideas.”

“Actually.” I paced forward, savouring this that for the first time, Markus would listen to me, he had to. “I can already see a few things we can do already.” I pretended to swipe the hangers as if for the first time. “One we can improve on the cleaning, probably have cleaners that specialize in it as an impression is important and helps protect the quality of clothing. We can also swap those wares at the window for something more popular. As if anyone wants to see a look through a shop that has clothes they can barely afford. We should also remove this Nordland ware, not one need clothes this warm at this time of year.” And this was only the beginning.

“Uh-uh my lady, th-that’s all fine ideas, but I think you’re not imaging there’d be problems with those things. Like hiring cleaners just so they clean? Like those clothes at the window as well as just there to show how fancy this place is rather than common or anything and-.”

“That’s fanciful Markus, but this is coming from a man who wasn’t making any profit and had to hand it over and is now being passed onto his son.” It was about time to know what it felt not to be listened to. “Josef, what do you think?”

He shrugged, but was amused if not excited by the behaviour I just displayed. “I think it’s all good my lady.”

Markus looked ready to explode, but there was nothing he could do, this was always going to happen, fortunate for him he was in the hands of someone who would redeem him of his mistakes.

“I’m also going to want us to hire private wagons Josef, if you don’t mind.”

“How come my lady?”

“To allow us to faster transportation of goods faster. Fashion is a fast moving business that’s hard to keep up with and so we need to be as fast as possible. Getting it from the trade posts really would be too slow considering all the stops it has to take.”

“But hiring employees and buying a wagon for that would be expensive,” gaped Markus.

“It wouldn’t be for all the places we get our stocks from, just the ones that have items in fashion to make as much a profit out of it as we can.”

“That does sound like a good idea,” said Josef.

“Excellent, Gertrude already knows of some friends that have a wagon that could start working for us.”

“You really think with all these changes that this shop is going to be able to afford all this,” grumbled Markus. “Buying wagons, more employees and letting go of stock.”

“I don’t think,” I slithered. “I know.” I felt incredible right now as a desire I had never truly thought of was given to me.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Working on Slaanesh story)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Sat May 31, 2014 4:20 pm

The Story of Gretchen, part 10

Finally the world began to know who I was. In just two weeks I was turning the Golden star fabrics into a major competitor. I had a feeling Slaanesh had something to do with the rapid success, but I didn’t care, the world was changing and it was because of me.

People knew of the shop and it was becoming famous thanks to its new range and fast deliveries. It managed to make a huge profit as well thanks to its reorganised competitive prices.

It was also stretching the gap between Josef and Ulein as planned. Already Ulein was trying to compete, imitating our business plans, but because he didn’t have enough of a sophisticated mind to understand the first thing about them it wasn’t working as effectively for him, all he really did was put more money into his shops but money unwell spent didn’t give you any back.

I had also reduced Markus to a cleaner after I had had enough of his grumbling and acting ill-mannered towards the customers.

I circled around the aisle to watch him emptying one of the clothes stands. He was on his knees with a droopy face. It somehow felt wrong to be enjoying it. I had to keep in mind though that tried to oppress me, ruled over me like a tyrant and I was just doing the same to him. But did that honestly justify it.

I needed to relief me of my conscious and remind me what a bullhead he was. I walked up to him.

“Enjoying the new position?”

His silence was enough, but then.

“What’s your real name?”


“Because you have far too much in common with a former employee I use to have.”

Crud. “Y-your wrong, my real name is Gretchen. Now get back to work.”

“You sure.” He got up and faced me. “You stuttered there.”

“Y-yes, yes I did, so what? Get back to work I said.”

“You know something about Gretchen Ulsware and I want to know.”

He was more heartfelt than bitter. “Why do you want to know?”

“I guess- because I want to know she’s alright. “

That… That was actually touched, I was so moved. My father did save his life and he had looked after me, given me a job and tried to give advice. How did I forget that? “Y-yes,” I spoke. “She’s alright.”

He pointed at me. “Ha! Knew it! You and that spoiled brat is working together!” He paced around delirious. “I have to give it to her, she is smart. But when is she going to get it that she doesn’t make good decisions!”

“Excuse me!”

“She convinced you didn’t she about all these ideas like changing the items on the store window?”

“Well it’s working isn’t it.”

“Only because of prince charming right now. Everyone wants to buy from the shop of Ulein Wurter’s son and have finally came to terms just how great a shop this is. If it weren’t for the changes Gretchen has gotten you do for her I would’ve had enough money to retire by now.”

That egotistical freak! I didn’t care what he had to say anymore as he went onto a rant about me. I struck him and knocked the surprise old war veteran to the floor. I then stamped on his face until I heard a snap… Oh please Sigmar.

By the looks of things… I had stamped him just right as he was getting his head off the floor that I had twisted his neck enough…

“I have a feeling I should stop taking snoozes when I’m around you,” groaned Gertrude after snoring at the counter. He knelt down and checked Markus. “Really if you want to kill someone have me do it.”

“I-I-I-!” I shivered. “D-d-didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah, find that hard to believe. You just ruthlessly snapped his neck.”

I frantically paced around. “No! No! No! No!”

Gertrude got a hold of me. “Look whatever happened can’t change it now I guess. I’ll just do all the work and you go to Bella.”

“But-but what about Jo-Josef?”

“I will say Markus tried to hit you, I threw him out for that and escorted you home after what happened and you decided to get me to come here to tell him you were okay. I’ll then have to try and distract him I guess while you see Bella. Okay?”

Thank Sig- Thank Slaanesh I had Gertrude.


I sat shaking in what I assume was Bella’s office. It was a room filled with bizarre and yet immaculate colours, even stranger objects and decorations like cackling statues and the skulls of strange creatures.

“It is understandable you lost control,” said Bella as she stirred something. “When Slaanesh takes you in under his wing and grants you your desires, but he looks after you mostly by heightening every feeling any your body, senses, desires and especially emotions”

“You mean like anger then?”

“Correct and it takes some while before you can control them. One reason why you might want to move onto another pleasure besides business.”

I glared at her. “Business is not a pleasure, it’s a purpose.”

“Oh please as if we need a purpose. We’re simply born into this world and that’s it, what more do you need than that but to feel.”

“A purpose gives meaning.”

“And meaning there is to stop us from worry about why we are here, but Slaanesh does that himself. He comforts us with new experiences and protection.”

Obviously it would take too long to butt heads with Bella like this, so I simply needed another approach. “Do you honestly want me to give up business when I’ve already provided your cult with more funds?”

“Yes,” she said as she added another ingredient into the cup. “You’ve provided us with enough funds to sustain us.”

“That drug trade won’t hold though without me, I’m the one that made it possible.”

“But you’ve put everything in place that it doesn’t actually need you anymore. Josef will continue his trade enabling his employees who work for us to keep up the trade.”

That was true, but. “You’re thinking too small though; imagine what else I could in my position. Josef’s business is growing rapid and I will have my own that will feed of his and grow large itself that there is so much that the Forgotten Bliss could accomplish.”

“We’re not about accomplishing though. The Forgotten Bliss is about exploring sensation and pleasure, not achieving. We leave the world of strife and struggle, so we may live our lives the way that is truly liberating.”

“What about my desires then, my desires have always been to achieve in business and that is what I want.”

Bella sighed and the approached me with tray in hand. “You know, I’m probably stressing you enough with this heated discussion.” She offered the cup and gave me a warm smile. “Let us do what you came fore and put Markus out of your mind.”

I looked at the strangely coloured liquid. “What is it?”

“A special remedy made for soothing the body, it will help forget about your troubles.”

I was warily, but took the cup. I then sipped upon it just to taste it; it was strong, really strong. My whole body tingled and ruptured with delight and my vision was out of control. I then began to see a distortion of colours and wild feelings, I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t what had happened. I had fallen unconscious I guess.


I gasped awake, I felt a flare of agonising aches and my body tremble, just what had gone on. I tried to get up but I just had no control over my body, just what had happened.

“Easy now,” said a voice that echoed around my head. He pushed me down onto the couch. “Just relax until you feel better.”

I obeyed but I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. I didn’t know if it was seconds, minutes or even hours, but I remained on the couch until all the flashed colours went from my eyes and I could make out someone sitting. Was it Gertrude?

“Wh-what’s going on?”

“Do you really want to know?”

It sounded like Gertrude alright. “Yes!”

“I’m afraid Bella decided to give you a really powerful substance that we give to our clients. She thought it would do you something good.”

“What possible good was there in drugging me?”

“To get a taste of other pleasures I believe she said.”

I growled. She had no right! “Just how long was I out for?”

Gertrude sighed. “Two weeks.”

“Two weeks!” I screamed. “Just what happened within two weeks?”

“All the chaos you could imagine or at least for you, I just stressed trying to keep it all together like I know you would want me-.”

“Just tell me.”

He raised his hands to try and calm me. “After your disappearance I told everyone that you went back to your brother after the sudden attack by Markus and had left me. All your love interests then became depressed, especially Josef that I’m afraid he couldn’t keep running the Golden star fabrics that it fell apart really and went out of business. There was also a big construction decision that came up that I didn’t know what to make so I’m afraid it’s been on hold for two weeks.”

“That wretch!” I spat. It was only her to blame. I sat up and pulled on my hair, if only it was Bella’s neck I was pulling on. “Just when she said nothing would happen in my absence!” And in just a mere two weeks it had collapsed just like that!

“That’s not the only thing you’re going to be mad about I’m afraid.”

“Oh Sigmar! What!”

“Ulein began to rise again when he took hold of the Golden star fabrics and I commented to Bella that you’d want to fix that, so she had me, well, make him disappear.”

“And you did it.”

Gertrude shrugged. “Well you weren’t exactly around to argue.”

“But you knew I wasn’t exactly going to be happy!”

“Yes, but she’s the boss. I do what she tells me.”

“That horrible wretch!” I stood up. It turned out not to be the best idea as I wobbled clumsily, but I paced around trying to think. “I hate her now! She’s lied to me! Backstabbed me and is ruining my life again! She’s trying to take everything from me!”

“That’s what happens in this cult some of the times.”

“If only I could make her disappear.”

“Well it would be a lot harder than killing the witch hunter, but I could if you want us to.”

I was in complete shock. I nearly fell, losing control of my whole body. But I managed to regain myself. “What are you saying?”

Gertrude sneered. “What I’m saying is that if you want, we really can make Bella disappear.”

“Isn’t she your leader? Are you not loyal to her?”

“I would’ve died for her… But not anymore. I’m more loyal to you know really.”


“I’ve haven’t felt more alive in this cult than I’d say six years ago after I had recently became a member of the Silent six. You come up with these thrilling schemes, you have such passion for your ambitions and heck we just killed a witch hunter by making it look like such a convincing accident, now that was feeling alive. Half the other stinking members just want to be like you were for two weeks and forget they’re alive.”

“But do you not owe yourself to Bella?”

Gertrude began to pick his nails. “No. It is Slaanesh I owe myself to. Bella use to be a good voice on his behalf and incite us. But she’s never been a great leader. She may worm into your ear that what she’s doing is for the best for the cult, but all of its just so she can remain at the top with no one being able to threaten her.”

My eyebrow rose. “So I threaten her?”

“Why do you think she did what she did?” He smirked. “Because you’ve been the biggest threat she’s had to deal with. Never before have we had a member so ambitious and gifted and favoured by Slaanesh. Look at the back of your shoulder.”

“What?” I tried to, but it was impossible.

“Here.” Gertrude and put my back facing a mirror and then he had gotten a hand mirror so I could then see the symbol ingrained into my skin!

“What is that?”

“His mark. Slaanesh likes to mark his followers to tell that they are his and no one else can have them.” He then rolled up his sleeve to show a similar symbol on his arm. “It took me three years to get mine, but you got yours almost instantly, showing the enthusiasm he had to have you. He also gifted you with gold hair and purple eyes, two of his favourite colours really.”

“If I threaten Bella then, why would she adore me for this long?”

“To show you weren’t either that or she couldn’t tell. But you are a threat and now she’s treating you like one.”

“So why doesn’t she simply make me disappear.”

“It would be a sign of weakness. We have other members that have been wanting to make her disappear. Not because they desire power, but because Bella has become dull. I’m certain that there are members who will be happy if you became our leader.”

“What?” I gasped. “You want me to lead the Forgotten Bliss?”

“Not just me, there are others who speak of you in the cult and already imagine what you could do for us. Like I said, your ambition is enthralling and what this cult needs to feel alive rather than some half-dead cow waiting for existence to end, Slaanesh has never been about stagnation and neither has the cult. We want to expand and become something more, something great; we want the Empire to feel us just as much as you want it to feel you.”

I-I couldn’t believe this. I didn’t know what to feel, but I felt some great force urging me. The only force it could be was Slaanesh. He agreed with Gertrude and now so did I. “Very well.” I would not let Bella take my new life away; I would make her regret dare trying to by taking hers. “Make her disappear.”

“Isn’t going to be that simple I’m afraid.”

“Excuse me?”

“What? Do you think it was going to be a simple matter of you telling me to go and kill her and that would be it?”

“I was hoping?”

“She has what she calls her Six sentinels. I would get the other members of the Silent six to counter them, but each of these Six sentinels have been gifted with incredible senses and empathy, they can tell when you mean harm and could hear you tip toeing under a griffon’s roar, so sneaking on them is impossible. Each one is also a former solider and so are more formidable fighters than us Silent Six.”

“I take it you can’t bribe them then or anything like that?”

“The way that Bella keeps them under her control is that she is the only one that knows how to cook their favourite drug that possesses them. If Bella were to die, they’d be driven so mad that they’d die a horrible death. I’ve seen it happen after Bella caught one of them trying to replicate the thing that holds them.”

“If she has such loyal guards that are this impossible to kill bring it up to try and kill her?”

“Maybe because it isn’t impossible to fool her guards. They can ready empathy from the simplest eye contact, but wearing just a simple veil they won’t notice that me and the Silent six will be drawing their attention, while we do, you’ll be able to slip in and deal with Bella.”


“The only ones we’ll be able to trust is the other members of the Silent six and I’ll be needing their each of their help holding off the Six sentinels to give someone enough time to get the job done.”

“Can’t we just lure Bella into another trap?”

“While Bella’s empathy isn’t as strong, her senses are just as strong and she is even more cunning. She’ll know when she’s walking into a trap and isn’t like we could kill her in her sleep. No, the only way to do this is for you to walk up to her and fight her.”

“And you actually think I can beat her?”

“Often when it comes down to between just two worshippers of the same god, it is the one more favoured by that god that triumphs and I am pretty sure Slaanesh is dulled by Bella than anyone in the Forbidden Bliss is. When you fight her, you will overpower her and if you can’t, Slaanesh will come to your aid.”

There was a stir in me as if Slaanesh himself concurred. “Okay… I will do that… I will kill Bella personally.”
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Working on Slaanesh story)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Wed Jun 04, 2014 8:54 am

[size=12pt]Warning, this part got unintentionally violent and is not suited towards the squeamish. If uncertain you would be unable to read such a violent chapter, you are free to skip this chapter as it is a predictable chapter that you know what's going to happen with very little twists and his just made up for being predictable with attempts at action and descriptive fight scenes[/size]

Chapter 11: Gretchen of the Forbidden Bliss

I was bitter and afraid about this. Gertrude was so confident that Slaanesh would be enough to help me win that he was only willing to teach me so little in the ways of hand to hand fighting. He had at least given me this leather armour to wear, with this heavy thick padded glove to serve as shield. Although it wouldn’t stop be from being cut if I was hand was stabbed, the glove would at least absorb most the blow. I was then also given dagger that was more like a sword, but was light enough to make it called a dagger.

“Right here’s the troops,” spoke Gertrude as he led in his cohort into my home. There were actually eighteen of them, but it was meant to be that it was an acceptable number so long as it was a multiple number from six. The Six Sentinels however would only number six, but Gertrude strongly claimed that it they’d need another six men to eliminate the vigilant veterans.

Amongst the Silent six were familiar faces were ones I met with Gertrude for the first time. It reminded me how much I despised and feared Gertrude. It made it strange that I saw him now, it was almost scary.

“Has the little lamb became a tiger has she?” asked one of the goons with a sly grin.

“Actually she still needs to find her claws before she’s a tiger,” slithered Gertrude. “Maybe once she’s struck her knife into Bella she’ll have found them.”

“Well let’s get on with it,” grouched another goon. “Eager to put that manipulative cur to rest.”

We marched out onto the streets. Like me, they were all armoured in heavy leather, some of them though like Gertrude just dressed casually for some reason, probably because this leather was somewhat restrictive and maybe didn’t do as much good than what they were wearing. Besides that they were armed with an assortment of weapons from knives, crossbows and shield. We also all wore our veils so that the Six Sentinels could not read our plans from our expressions.

Really I felt we were making our way to battle then again we were. It made me uncontrollable; I couldn’t explain why it made me uncontrollable. Was it the power of having such dangerous men on my side, the idea that I could die or just the sheer excitement. Whatever it was I just had to embrace it and hope it would please Slaanesh, I needed to make him a closer ally than any.

“Right,” sneered Gertrude. “Here we go.”

As discussed in our plan, there was no real plan. We just waited until it got night when there were no clients around and stormed in.

All the Silent six went in first with Gertrude booting the door open. They made no attempt to be silent and just roared for the Sentinel Six to come for them and like that the four of them did. They crawled out from the corridor armed with bizarre weapons that ranged from barbed whips and these oddly curved swords. They wore little armour, showing off their muscled and pastel skin that had a tint of purple, they however were all wearing helmets and robes and a few wear metal shoulder pads.

The Silent six came at them filled with excitement and overcame with adrenaline, but each attack was parried almost easily. The Silent six was being pushed back by a counter attack of flashed blades and lashing whips. The Silent six were unhindered though and were on the assault again once the Six sentinels were near the centre of the room and began to dance around them forming circles The sentinels were attacked from all sides but the Silent six were still being outmatched, one had gotten his leg half severed, another was slashed across the face and another one was whipped across the chest, while the Six sentinels were unharmed. It was such art and skill, it was beautiful really.

“Okay, that’s us opened up a way through,” hissed Gertrude. The Silent six had managed to pull the Six sentinels away from the corridor entrance. “Let’s go!”

We hurried through the corridor, but there was only six of us. The fact that fourteen were barely standing a chance against four of these elite guards, it… it actually made me look at Gertrude.

“Do I have something on my face girl?”

“Just be careful.”

“What an odd request.”

It was, but the only person in this world that had truly taken care of me was Gertrude and made me concerned that he would have to take on those warriors.

“Stop,” yelled one of the Silent six.

One of the Six sentinels stepped out from the darkness. I could already see the trouble we faced. He blocked the way down the two-man wide corridor and it was far too long and risky to go back.

“Looks like we have no choice but to try and take this one down,” sighed Gertrude.

He did make a ratio a four against one ratio to take down a Six sentinel.

One of the Silent six fired his crossbow and the Six sentinel ducked away from it like a viper and lashed out at us. One of the Silent six was already cut down by the sabre in his left hand and another had his sword knocked of his hand.

I was tempted to grab Gertrude soon as he lunged to take the fallen brethren’s place. His club and sword were almost invisible with the speed he gave to match the Six sentinel’s own, but he already wore out within seconds. His comrade came to had retrieved his weapon though and came to his side, but they were still pushed back by his sheer skill. The reason they probably hadn’t been skilled yet was because the Six sentinel bore at halberd, not able to have enough room to maximise his swings.

“You have to do something!” I cried to his friend loading his crossbow.

“How long do you think it takes to load a cruddy crossbow?”

Gertrude’s club burst into splinters and his friend was slashed across the chest. The crossbowman had lifted his weapon in time and fired. The Six Sentinel spun around the bolt, blocked the swordsman’s blade, but was skewered by Gertrude’s. The Six Sentinel tried to haul Gertrude off by his head, but he was decapitated by his friend making the mighty warrior collapse to his knees and then splattered onto the ground lifeless.

“Well that was barely fortunate,” grasped Gertrude after being choked in the Six Sentinel’s grip. “Can’t say the same for Emmerich though, but he’s one with Slaanesh now I guess.”

“Going to keep examine how lucky we are or can we go and take care of that whore?”

Gertrude smiled. “Was just trying to express how exciting that was.”

We continued down the corridor and there we stopped before the door of Bella, the room she had basically stabbed in the back when she drugged me. That poison she gave me was still in my system. It made me want to indulge myself in more of that stuff just to feel what it was like again to feel so good, but to go through that again would take away more time what really meant to me.

“Ready for your duel with Bella?” asked Gertrude.

I gulped and trembled. I actually had to plunge this knife into another woman that made me want to find a way from Gertrude to do the job like he always did, but I felt this feeling in my arm that hissed for me to do it. I nodded. “Alright.”

“Good, we’ll distract the last Sentinel Six, soon as we drag him out you hurry up and kill her, the sooner the better. These Sentinel Six will have no reason to live when they find out that their only aliment to reliving their pain will no longer exist.”

Great to know there was no pressure.

Gertrude had then pressed me against the wall and instructed me to wait here until I had my chance. He then yanked open the door and the Six Sentinel burst through. He was armed with two sabres this time, but he was flanked on both sides.

I gave a glance at Gertrude before slipped through the door and then being intoxicated by the thick smell within. The door was slammed shut, probably by Gertrude, leaving only a purple candle that barely lit the room. I could make out something though that slithered in the darkness.


“Why do you come child?”

I braced myself, knowing she was coming close. “To kill you.”

“You hurt me child if you truly mean that.”

I made out the gleam of her own dagger in the darkness that made me choke after hoping she didn’t have her own weapon. My resolve to kill her stayed strong however.

“Somehow I really doubt that.”

“Do you know? After all I’ve done for you?”

“Like what?”

She gave a pretend gasp as she came closer. “I took you into the Forbidden Bliss of course, I provided for you and I gave you one of my best warriors at your disposal.”

“It was Slaanesh who did that; you are nothing more than a tired instrument who he has abandoned and yet you remain stuck to his fingers.”

“You are fool child if you think Slaanesh has grown tired of me.”

She was close now, I could feel Slaanesh warning me. “That he has and it is time I took your place.”

“Heh, shame that a lamb that has become a lion will die a weasel that got too greedy!”

She lunged at me, I caught her wrist before she could stab me, but she grabbed mine and we wrestled. Our feet shuffled around the cluttered floor, kicking aside books, lifting up the carpets and hitting each other’s toes. As we struggled, Bella had pressed her manical grinning face into mine. The intimidation had let her plunge her knife into my side. I exhaled as I felt the cold steel run into me.

“Now die! You horrid child!”

I lifted my head back and butted Bella. She flopped back slipping her knife, but had gripped onto my hair and we both crashed into the floor. We rolled tangled, trying to gain the upper hand, grabbing arms, squeezing legs together and pushing our torsos into each other. We focused on the dagger our fingers trying to pry each other off as we entangled.

I was desperate wanting to live, but I my body was loving this, this thrill of engagement as I did battle with someone else so intertwined sharing someone’s last moment, possibly both our last moment. I couldn’t let it be my last moment however.

I let Bella have the dagger, but as she adjusted it into her grip, I had sat up on her waist and pinned both her hands to the floor. We both panted as we were still in stalemate, but I had the wound that Bella had buried deep into my stomach.

“What now child? You just going to wait for that wound to fester or will you let me sacrifice you to Slaanesh?”

The wound hadn’t cut deep, but the pain was intense, I knew when Bella found an opportunity things would change and for the worst. My eyes got the gleam on Bella’s knife. It wasn’t far, but I knew I would need to grab it fast, but I needed to distract Bella to give me the best chance I could get.

“Did you truly care about my brother? Did you really try to look after him? Or was he just another pawn.”

“How sad. You cared so much about your brother, but do you have any idea that the only real thing he cared about you was if you ratted him out.” No! “Yes. I didn’t want to tell you this child, but because now that I no longer care about you, you know that Gertrude’s too much of a subordinate dog to think of acting on his own.” No-No! This was turning against me! Bella’s hand was lifting itself off the floor. “He took the fall as ordered by me! The real person that made the order behind my back was-!”

“No!” I screamed. I snatched the knife, but Bella threw me off.

We got to our knees and threw ourselves at each other. I grazed her cheek with her knife, but she got my shoulder with my dagger. The blade scythed through the leather and was eating my collar bone. Before I could readjust my knife, Bella grabbed my face and slammed my head into the desk. I fell to the floor and Bella pulled the dagger out of my shoulder, readying it to stab again.

“Now you shall join Slaanesh!”

I prayed to Slaanesh and banged the desk. My prayer was answered when one of Bella’s toxins crashed to the floor. It burst into glass and powder. The crash distract Bella to allow me to throw her off, but the toxin was effecting us both. We choked on its contents and were blinded by the powder. Whatever this was it was making my whole body tingle and spasm and the pain in me worse and the fear consumed me.

“You entertain Slaanesh with the pain and desperation you put yourself through to avoid death,” wheezed Bella.

I scrambled around the carpet trying to find something. My fingers ached and I wasn’t sure if they were numb or heightened but everything felt the same. But finding something barrel shaped, I rubbed on the other end and was sure this had to be the knife I dropped. I had to take chances though; I knew Gertrude wouldn’t be able to hold of the Six sentinel any longer. I needed to lure Bella if I was going to find her.

“I’m sure though that Slaanesh has grown dull at your grasp at power,” I coughed. “Right now he stamps at your fingers that cling to him.”

“Perhaps he enjoys my struggle. Perhaps he likes me cling to him knowing how much I embrace him.” She was getting closer, I get make out her knees shuffling across the floor and the strong stir in my arm that vibrated each time she got closer. “I love Slaanesh, he is everything to me and I will never let go. I was nothing in this world before he embraced me! I was just a little girl with no parents! Just a slimy rat catcher for an uncle. He only kept me so I could crawl into sewage pipes and hold his dogs for him and use me for his sob stories. I had no chance at love, men just wanted a rich wife, not a one gifted with beauty and passion. That was when Slaanesh showed me real love; true feelings I will not let go nor let it be-.”

I got her. I felt the blade grit through her ribs and pluck one of her organs.

“You are nothing but a cat full of life and entertainment!” I hissed. “But got boring when all you did was cuddle Slaanesh like the lost child he found.” I held onto Bella and drove the knife harder. “The only reason you stuck for this long was because he liked how easily jealous you got and how hard you fought for him. But that was only-.”

I was stabbed thrice now, right in the stomach. Bella now pulled on me and hissed.

“You shut up you ungrateful wretch.”

I grabbed her face and pried her off. She may have stabbed me three times, but I was sure where I stabbed was a lot more severe. I pulled my knife out and my enhanced ears from the toxins or Slaanesh’s blessing could hear her blood bubble out.

“It is you who should shut up!” I stabbed her one more time. I heard Bella try to scream, but she could only gargle. I waited until she stopped trying to make sounds and finally let go, I let go of everything and fumbled back onto my feet. I needed Gertrude, being stabbed once was never a good thing, letting alone three times. I hurried to the door, needing him to be there.

I crumbled to my knees however, holding myself up when I saw the door open. No!

My reaction changed however when I heard that familiar grunt.

“Gertrude!” I wheezed.

“At your service.” He limped in, followed by five others of the Silent Six. They were all cut up and injured just as much as I was. “Barely.” He crumbled to the floor.


“He’ll be alright,” said one of the Silent six not really caring. “He just exerted himself fighting that Sentinel six to the last man.” He was the healthiest amongst them and he knelt before me. “Oh heavy stuff you’ve got in your face.” I was surprised he could make it out in this faint light, but Bella probably hadn’t kept many powders on her desk. “Must feel like you’ve got some griffons latched onto you with those cuts combined, but you’ll live. Is the whore dead?”

“I-I don’t know,” I bubbled.

He signalled to one of the men and he hobbled over to find Bella, he checked her.

“No, but she’s going to be dead soon. Punctured the heart and the weapons still embedded.”

“Ah, a slow and gruesome death, just the way Slaanesh loves it.” He patted me. “You did good girl. You will make an excellent knew leader when we get you back to full health.”

“Please!” I gasped. “Just let me be next to Gertrude?”

“Gertrude?” He chuckled. He did as commanded though and carried me next to his side. “Looks like you’ve found yourself an admirer Gertrude.”

“Don’t I always,” panted Gertrude. “I think this is one just a pup that needs me.”

It was so. I stroked Gertrude’s freshly scared face. “You are my brother now,” I whispered.

“And you are my new boss,” he chuckled.

“She is our new boss,” added one of Silent six. “And things are about to get interesting.”

I doubt they’d be any more interesting after what happened this bloody night, but I knew there was work to be done.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Working on Slaanesh story)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:07 pm

The story of Gretchen, Part 12

It had been three months and this town was mine. With the almost unlimited resources of the Forgotten Bliss at my hand I had started up my own business thanks to claws I had burrowed in Josef, who obviously needed me. The town had then began to prosper. People had been given jobs, items became more affordable and the town itself had grown.

I had watched from the balcony of the Forgotten Bliss headquarters at the people who had become to enjoy the prosper I had brought. Many of them did not know that it was all me, many thought it had been Josef’s doing being that he had the most power, but it did not matter, what mattered was that I was achieving my full ambition.

“Evening my lady.” I felt the same pleasure I always did when Gertrude, as always, came to me.

“Evening Gertrude. You have word of our recruitment?” It was thanks to me that the Forgotten Bliss had become more aggressive with its recruitment drive. After all, when enlightening potential members with the miracles I had performed for this town, it made it easy for them to become one of us. But it was more we needed to replenish the Silent six. If we were going to grow, we needed members who could protect it.

“We had eight members go through the tooth and claw trial,” said Gertrude. “Only two made it out I’m afraid.”

And that made it likely we’d only had ten Silent six members, we had very far to go indeed. “Start only have numbers of six go through the trial. Maybe Slaanesh will bless us with more numbers then.”

“As you wish then my lady.”

“My lady,” panted Lothar, one of the Silent Six. “Sorry to interrupt, but I think we have a problem.” It was rare to see one of them frightened. “I-I think a Witch hunter has arrived.”

“A witch hunter!” I gasped.

“Interesting,” said Gertrude.

“How do you know?” I asked.

“Well he’s wearing the hat and coat most of them wear and he’s calling together town council meeting on his authority.”

“What makes you uncertain that he isn’t a witch hunter?”

“Well he seems far too young to be going around slaying witches.”


“H-he doesn’t look twenty, eighteen or nineteen probably, but not anything older than that.”

“That is odd,” said Gertrude. “But exciting nonetheless.”

“He’s calling a town council then?” Good. “Tell Heinz I wish to see him immediately. I’ll hurry over to his home, so make sure the runner makes it there before I do.”

“As you wish my lady.” Lothar then hurried off.

I then left to get myself changed with Gertrude behind my shoulder. “If this is another accursed Witch hunter, I hope he isn’t as hard to kill this time.”

“It’ll be about time we had a proper challenge I’d say.”

“This is a witch hunter Gertrude,” I snarled. “And he could undo all the good I have done for this Empire.”


“Why the urgency?” asked Heinz as he greeted me in

“I just found out I had a lot of free time and decided to spend it with you,” I said as I passed my coat to one of the servants

“You sure you want to spend your free time with me and not Josef?” growled Heinz.

I sighed. Why was Heinz so aggressive? I kept my back to him as I straightened my dress. “What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know.” He paced towards me. “Every time I don’t see you, I go to see Josef and find out he’s in an so-called important business meeting with you. You seem to have a lot of important business meetings with him.”

Just great, was Heinz stalking me? I turned to him and rubbed hair on his chin, just as I enjoyed and made Heinz calm when he saw my delighted snicker. “Sorry, but a lot of Josef’s clients need my business in order to increase their revenue. But we’re having a tough time finding the most efficient way of transporting the goods to do so.”

As always, I only needed a single answer to quell the unease in anyone’s hearts. I swear that Slaanesh had granted me some power to shift someone’s mood to the way I wanted it, even the reckless and fierce Heinz. Another emotion stirred up however.

“Fine. But do you want to wait in the lounge room? I have some meeting to attend.”

“No, I think I’ll come with you again.” Being the son of the esteemed Varl Lummenford had given Heinz a place among the council, not official though, just to more prepare him for when he took his father’s place. The council had often allowed Heinz to let me sit with him, a perk that Heinz took advantage of to get an upper hand on Josef who didn’t have the same privilege.

“I think that’s a bad idea,” he murmured. “There’s going to be a Witch hunter with us today. He’s the one calling it.”

I shrugged. “That’s alright.”

“It wasn’t alright when my father brought one into the house for a surprise visit one day.”

“He caught me by surprise.”

“Isn’t this a surprise? I just told you a Witch hunter will be at the meeting just now.”

I brushed my hand against him, soothing him again. “I’ll be alright, now let’s go or you’ll be late.”

Again I had stifled the fire and Heinz was ready to listen. I loved having this control over me, hopefully I would not need it, otherwise I’m sure the Witch hunter will pick up on it.


I was at my seat in the council. Everyone was here excluding the Witch hunter.

“This had better not be a joke,” muttered Josef tapping the table. He was certainly unhappy to find me with Heinz, not that I could cure that later, but it wouldn’t make me happy if I did waste my time here.

“I’ll send one of the servants,” volunteered one of the council members.

The door was struck open. We were then shocked to find entering the council room, a cohort rabble enter the room. One I noted was a priest of Sigmar, but the rest varied from the haunted look to the deranged like people from a violent gang and a madhouse had gotten together to form a group.

It took me a while to notice though, what I suspect, was the Witch hunter. The reason I had my doubts, was because he was that short and young. He was almost only half the size of Heinz and indeed looked younger than twenty. Which hunters were meant to be grizzled and experienced men who could make you cower in fear with but a gleam from their eye. This one looked to be lucky if he could scare a goblin.

The Witch hunter took his seat and like some child, pushed it around the corner so that it was at the end of the table and sat up on it with his group gathered behind him.

“Sorry I am late.” His eyes were hidden by his hat, but we could see his cocky wide grin. “But I was making sure the place was secure.”

“We have men for that…” spoke Varl.

“Claude Henroth sir,” said the Witch hunter. “And that you do, but how do you know which men to trust?” His boyish tone didn’t make me feel we were up against a witch hunter, but his paranoia at least did.

“Look,” said Heinz. “Are you actually the Witch hunter that summoned us or are you just his squire?”

The witch hunter chuckled. “Yes I am and although I’m very young, some considering me too young, I am indeed a Witch hunter, appointed so two years ago at the age of fifteen by my mentor Waltherus Nenker.”

“You mean the witch hunter that died here?” asked someone.


“Indeed, the very same. Waltherus took me in at the age of eleven after my family had been murdered. He became a role model, teacher and a father to me and I intend to avenge him.”

Oh for the love of all that is holy.

“You must be mistaken,” muttered a council member. “Your mentor died in an unfortunate accident at a construction site.”

“So it seemed. But when I came to this town and decided to investigate the site he had died, I asked questions around the men who had saw him last. One who had helped dig out his body had noted that Waltherus had his hand like this.” He then pointed up his two fingers and thumb.

“And what does that mean?” asked Varl.

“Something only I would figure out. He was imitating a body we had once found that only had two fingers and one thumb because the rest of his digits had been stolen by heretics and left him to die.”

Why did I have to let him die in peace! I should’ve crushed his skull!

“Is that really enough to say it was murder?”

“Why would a man die with two fingers tucked under his hand?” asked Claude. “But I’m not just here on a crusade to avenge his death. I’m here to purge the town of heresy.”

“And what makes you think there is heresy here?”

“There is heresy everywhere.”

“Yes, but why here in particular.”

“The priest beside me is Humfried Tubbmain. He had made a note that there has been a large decline of dedication to Sigmar that almost just happened without near explanation. People have been going to church less, making less offerings and his name his heard less.” Can you blame them for a god that does nothing? “One thing that came up though was the prosperity that is rapidly in increasing while your town grows in lack of faith. That there is enough to point out that someone has exchanged this town’s purity for self-gain.”

Self-gain! “Or maybe people just don’t have time for Sigmar because of the new jobs they have!” Did I just scream that out loud. Everyone stared at me, but the Witch hunter looked as if he barely noticed that.

“Could be.” He shrugged. “But that’s why I’m here, to investigate the declining faith, besides finding out who it was that murdered Waltherus and bring him to justice, or could be just as much a she. Waltherus guard was always lowest when near a pretty lady.” Was he hinting.

“Fine,” grunted Varl. “But why is it that you’ve brought together this council? As I recall, no one has authority over a Witch hunter.”

“I called you here because I know that my allies will be among the noble class of this settlement. What was particularly odd about this gain of prosperity is that no one gained from it more than the peasant class. I’d imagine it would be because they are most vulnerable to the corruption of the Dark gods, but I actually believe it’s because whoever is in charge of this cult, sympathises with them. Meaning this is almost a single pawn of the Dark gods being used to spread his filth that thinks he is doing good.”

Aren’t I?

“That doesn’t explain why you need us?” asked Josef.

“Because the heart that is pumping this mound of wealth is you, Josef Wurter.”


“After you inherited everything from your father, you practically gained control of everything he had. The amount of control you have now is almost everything in this town, every market, every merchant and nearly every employee. You practically control this town.”

“Are you saying I’m the heretic!?”

“No. If you were, it would be a lot more obvious. For one, I’m looking for someone that is close to the peasant class, I doubt you know what a peasant is Josef. But I do think you’re being manipulated by a heretic.” No! I clawed underneath the table. “Question is who. When your father past, I understand that his colleagues worked closely with you.”

Yes and thanks to me, twelve of them were a part of the Forgotten Bliss. I had recruited them in case something like this happened and to get the control I needed. I had called them the Twelve strings for they helped me puppeteer this town. I had no concerns about have that big a clutch on Josef until now though.

“Yes. They’re smaller time business owners that I own.”

He lifted his head showing those starving eyes. “That is where my trail will begin.”

“Begin?” asked Varl.

“It won’t end there. As said this wound in the Empire has festered and I really doubt the one responsible will be one of them. No that would too easy. This culprit was able to cover up the murder of a witch hunter as if it was some natural accident and has now rotted through hundreds of men’s souls as if he were just the wind.” He stood up boldly. “But I will catch him and I will bring him to justice.”

There was the menacing look of a witch hunter. The appearance of a child had now be transformed into the beacon of malice that would burn this town, just to find me. With every ounce I tried not to look suspicious, but it didn’t help that Slaanesh was enjoying my stir after the insolent witch hunter had called me a festering wound. I was the bringer that gave everyone a fair chance and true justice. There’s no way I’m going to let this Witch hunter take that from me. He will die.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Working on Slaanesh story)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Sat Jun 14, 2014 3:10 pm

The story of Gretchen part 13

I strolled around my garden with Gertrude at my shoulder as well as Ludolf Brigund and Barthelm Zumwalder.

“How many?” I asked whilst observing a flower.

“Twenty-three,” replied Gertrude. “He has quite the pack.”

“So in other words he’s ready to use force if necessary.” Which crossed out using the populace against him. I had discovered many of them were actually mercenaries hired to protect Claude.

“So what’s the plan?” asked Gertrude almost bouncing. “How are we going to kill him?”

“Patience Gertrude,” I sneered while stroking the flowers. “First I need to react to his first move?”


I crushed one of the flowers and grinded it’s petals within my grasp. “I can’t formulate a plan to kill him, not just now. He’s acting too fast and decisive.” I dropped what remained of the flower and glared at my cohorts. “I need to do something about the Twelve strings.”

“You can count on them,” said Ludolf. “They’re lives is to both you and Slaanesh. They will not tell him anything.”

I paced towards Ludolf. “They don’t need to tell him anything. He just has to sniff them.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just one twitch, one eye blink or quiver and the witch hunter will know he’s lying.”

Ludolf chuckled. “My lady, this witch hunter is practically a boy wearing a tall hat.”

I glared. “A boy that was appointed a witch hunter two years ago. I think if he wasn’t anything like a witch hunter they would’ve reverted that mistake!” That got Ludolf to see the jeopardy we were in.

“So what do you expect them to do?” asked Gertrude. “Not like they can deny anything from witch hunter unless they want to be found guilty.”

“Actually,” I slithered. “That’s what I exactly want.” Both Ludolf and Barthelm were in complete shock. I smiled nonetheless. “There’s no way they can avoid the witch hunter so they may as well be good as dead now. So I want to avoid them being questioned at least.”

“All twelve strings have given you their lives my lady,” spoke Ludolf. “But I don’t think they would mean to give it up that easily.”

“That’s why I’ll be letting the Silent six loose upon them.” I looked at Gertrude and he liked the wording. “I don’t want it to be a simple act of murder though. I want it to look like the Twelve strings got together and then left in an attempt to get away from the witch hunter.”

“Leaving the perfect ruse to distract him while we organise on killing him,” hissed Gertrude.

“He’ll practically had his back turned to me.” I then walked back to the flowers admiring the slender that Slaanesh awarded me.


I slept later that night, in the private quarters of what was once Bella’s. I had been working too late organising the Silent six instructions on the assassination of the Twelve strings and had then been working on how to replace them as well as what happened when Claude came for me. It was only a matter of time until he knew some of the pro-work class ideas I had shared with Josef would trail back to me, I needed to work on evading it.

The floorboard creaked.

My eyes shot open. The sound came from the corridors by someone attempting to be silent.

I didn’t have Gertrude, but I had two bodyguards at my door.

I waited underneath by bedcovers and then heard a punch or at least I think it was. There was then a struggle and the door was force open. I tried to see, but there was this fog of purple powder. I heard a bang and the splinters burst from behind me.

A figure charged out of the powder holding a pistol like a club. I made out every movement and lunged out at him. I had rammed him to the floor and like that he no longer put up a fight.

I relieved him of his pistol and waited for my guards.

“How did this person get in?” One had brought a torch in, shinning it over the attackers face to reveal Ludolf. “Ah.” It explains where he had gotten some of those chemicals as well.

“Are you not shocked?” panted Ludolf. He wasn’t a fit man, so it was a miracle he got this far.

“Not really. One of the Twelve strings is your trusted brother-in-law. In fact I counted you doing something like this.”


“I suspect you’ve warned him and is now trying to get away from Gertrude. That’ll perfectly make it look like he was trying to get away from the witch hunter.”

“You harlot!” croaked Ludolf. “You selfish, uncaring-.”

I kicked his head. “Shut up! What I do is for the good of everyone! Sadly I can’t help save everyone now can I unless Slaanesh deems it. Your brother-in-law and the other Twelve strings had to be cut if I’m to rescue everything I’ve done and don’t call me uncaring. What I do is on Slaanesh’s behalf, to grant us equality.”

Ludolf chuckled. “You speak as if Slaanesh actually cares about everyone. He only cares about his current plaything and you won’t be his plaything forever.”

Wh-what was he-. I leered. “Playing with my mind won’t do you any good.”

“I’m not playing with your mind my lady. You were only introduced to him almost five months ago and you act like you understand everything there is to know about Slaanesh. He is selfish and does as he likes. We are nothing to him but figures to grant him pleasures.”

I aimed my pistol. “It doesn’t matter.” I fired. “So long as I have the power to do actual good in this town and the whole of the Empire, we can be playthings to him as much as we like.” I passed the gun to one of the guards. “Have someone clean this up and then have someone ready to escort me to my own hou-.” My body spasmed. No! No!

“My lady!” cried one of the guards. “Do you need me to get one of the vials?”

“No!” I snarled. I sat on my bed, clenching my arm. The drink that Bella had given to me had made me need it. It wasn’t one of the Six sentinel drugs, but it was similar. Each time I needed it, I would pass out for hours, sometimes a whole day or days if I was unlucky. If I didn’t get it though, I would be become more susceptible to stress or just have these spasms that I was having now.

“My lady,” said the guard. “You’ve gone on without it for almost a week. That’s rare for you to last this long.”

“Shut up!” I did want it though. Each time I drank the contents I would get to experience all these great feelings and imagine all these thrilling pictures go through my head, it was a sensation indeed. However it wasn’t worth missing out the time that I’d waste on this stupid drug. Gertrude had found out I could try to resist the drug until the craving wore off, but it would take too long. It was better if I just gave myself the drug for now. “Just get on with what I told you.”

“Will you be fine for seeing Heinz tomorrow?”

“Yes, now like I said. Get on with your work.”


Heinz walked me out from my home and into the streets chatting with me.

“Everything alright?” I asked, knowing his mind was clouded with the answers I wanted.

“Sigh, well you’ll find out yourself I guess, so it’s not such a secret matter, but a great portion of Josef’s business partner fled last night soon as they heard the Witch hunter would be interrogating him.”

“Oh my, does that mean the Witch hunter has found his culprits.”

“I think he has. The problem is that the Witch hunter is against going after them.”


“Uh y-yes.”

“Why isn’t he not going after them if they ran away?”

“The Witch hunter sees this as a move by an even greater foe. He’s made it look like they fled so that it sends us all on some wild goose chase.”

Exactly! “H-how? Any reason that would make him think that?” Like where it was Gertrude’s fault, couldn’t be my fault.

“He doesn’t think the real quarry he’s after would’ve left the town so easily considering that this quarry seems so obsessed with the idea he’s helping this town.” No! “Are you alright Gretchen?”

My body was shaking. I was feeling cold and dizzy. The frustration inside me was only giving way to the addiction. I couldn’t let it take over, I needed to know the Witch hunter’s next move. “Do you have any idea what the Witch hunter plans to do next?”

“Uh? Well he’s going to continue his interrogation of the remaining business partners. But seriously Gretchen, you seem to getting weak all of sudden.”

I guess that would give me time to rest. “I-I need to get home.”

“I think you might just need-.”

“No!” I snapped. The crave was growing stronger soon as I accept it. “Now!”

“Sorry my lady of course. Do you wish for me-.”

“Just get me back there.”

Heinz had held me up on the way back at least, leading me back through the door of my own home. I then spotted Gertrude making his way down the stairs.

“Thank you Heinz. Allow Gertrude to take it from here.”

“Nuisance. I will take care of you myself.”

Again with his valiant act. “Heinz, it may have something contagious. It’s better if my bodyguard risked his life.”

“I care more about you than he does!”

“I don’t think that’s the issue here,” rustled Gertrude, not making any attempt to hide his disgusting self. “It’s more that the person my lady would want to be less responsible for catching a disease is the one whose paid to risk his life. Not someone who means so much to her.”

Heinz was stuck for words.

“Please,” I gasped needing that drug. “Just go.”

Heinz was about to continue fighting, but I managed to rub my hand against his chin and it made him finally cave in to hand me over to Gertrude. He then stormed out, leaving Gertrude to carry me up the stairs.

“Those boys have to be such a hand full don’t they?”

They were, but they were the perfect tools in controlling this town and right now I needed Heinz more than ever at my side. “That shouldn’t be our biggest concern right now.”

“What’s the Witch hunter up to now?”

How did Gertrude guess. “He didn’t fall for our ruse.”

“At least he has no one to question that will lead back to us now.”

“Don’t be so sure,” I growled. “He still has Josef.”

“Want me to make him disappear?”

“I’d rather we took our chances. If we lose Josef, his assets would be divided amongst his family and partners, putting this town into a form of financial chaos that I’d have so much less control over.”

Gertrude helped me through the door. “At least we’d be alive.”

“I lived again Gertrude so that my potential could be realised.”

Gertrude rested me on my bed and went into my cupboard to find my hidden drugs. “That potential may end up going again if we’re caught, though that’s unless you can come up with a way to kill him. Can’t exactly keep hiding with the stench we have around this city.”

That was true. Witch hunters are relentless. Claude would turn over every rock if he had to and there’d be one rock that would lead back to me. But I was more concerned of the damages he was willing to do just to find me. I would not have this town harmed from this Witch hunter’s efforts just to find me. “Hopefully once my mind’s cleared I’ll think of something.”

Gertrude had came back with the drug and a cup and handed it. “I hope it doesn’t take too long to clear your mind.”

“I’ll be more hoping I don’t need take this stuff for a while.” I poured some of it. “Be sure to keep an eye on the Witch hunter and Josef while I am at.”

“No problem my lady.”

I then swallowed the contents and my mind faded into an array of colours and phenomenon.
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Chitso Samake

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Sun Jul 06, 2014 4:58 pm

Right, lost motivation and interest to continue writing my Slaanesh story for now. It did gain an amiable fanbase that almost reached 20 followers... but it was a fanfiction story, yeah I know, nothing personal against fanfiction writers, but when you're trying to make an ambitious career, better to make great ideas and use real motivation on original ideas. It was fun writing it though.

Okay, so now I've began writing the premise for each of my six ideas, for the purposes of practicing and also to see if I can also attract potential artist and show him/her my writing.
I have two different ways of writing scripts, I call one freebird and the other structured (If these have actual names, someone please share). Freebirds for artists who prefer to have control over the panel and number of pages themselves (Or just how most the forum writes theirs scripts), structured is when they prefer to hand that to me. I can also make it even more structured and decide the layout, just that it would take me far longer to write it out.
Feel free to just criticize the script styles anyways.
Anyways this is also being done to practice. What I've done is included the target things I planned to introduce, but might have cut those out due to time or decided was better to save, either way I'll mentioned if I failed to include it. I also had target page numbers, but of course you'll see by the last page number whether I failed of succeeded.
So yes, I decide to start with the story idea that I'll have now written the opening for the fifth time now, but in a different format. I chose it for that particular reason because I was really tired, so therefore it was really easy to write considering the number of times I've written it.

Chitso Samake
Script style: Structured
Target things introduced: The humour, action, romance, the soul shredder, Chitso's awkwardness, Elementals, Kiton curse, Kiwizoe, Genevieve Bubbles and Merlick.
Target things I failed to introduce: Romance, Kiwizoe and the exposition on the soul shredder.
Target pages 26

SCENE: Bright morning over a forest around a large lake passing through it.

Page 1 (4 panels)
Panel 1: Birds chirping.

Panel 2: Wind blowing

Panel 3: Chitso Samake is unconscious in the water, drifting across it.

Panel 4: Close up of Chitso’s eyes opening

Page 2 (3 panels)
Panel 1: Chitso clumsily splashes and frolics in the water.

Panel 2: Chitso sits in the water embarrassed after realising its only knee deep.

Panel 3: Chitso looks around.


Where am I?

Page 3 (5 panels)
Panel 1: Chitso looks at his hand.

Panel 2: Close up of Chitso’s hand.


Who am I?

Panel 3: Chitso is startled.




Panel 4: Chitso turns his head.

Panel 5: Chitso is awed.

Page 4 (2 pages)
Panel 1: Genevieve levitated off the ground by her wings made of sprites and her arms folded.

Panel 2: Close up Genevieve snarling.


Didn’t I warn you, Chitso Samake, that if you and those two Pison brothers not to snoop around here anymore?

Page 5 (4 panels)
Panel 1: Chitso grips his head.



Panel 2: Closer up of Chitso’s lips.


Chitso… Samake…

Panel 3: Genevieve confused.



Panel 4: Looking over Genevieve’s shoulders at Chitso.


Yes, Chitso Samake, as in you.

Page 6 (6 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso staring at his hands.


Chitso Samake… yeah, I-I

Panel 2: Chitso flinches.

Panel 3: Chitso falls back into the water riving in pain.

Panel 4: Close up of Chitso in agony.


Gaagh! What’s happening!

Panel 5: Genevieve watching the scene concerned.


Oh no! It must be the curse!

Panel 6: Chitso still in pain, but eyes bulging.


What! Curse!

Page 7 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso flinches again.

Panel 2: Genevieve is stunned.

Panel 3: Looking at Genevieve looking at Chitso concerned, while Chitso is lying still in the water.



Panel 4: Close up Chitso’s frowning.



Are you alright?

Panel 5: A vague hand cover in shadows pulling out a throwing star.

Sound effect


Page 8 (4 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso jumps to his feet.


Look out

Panel 2: A throwing star is shot out of the bushes

Panel 3: Chitso pushes Genevieve out of the way and the throwing star goes pass them

Panel 4: The throwing star embeds itself into the tree.

Page 9 (4 panels)
Panel 1: Chitso shouts out.


Show yourself!

Panel 2: The bushes ruffle.

Panel 3: Chitso pushes Genevieve behind her.


Stay behind me

Panel 4: A robed blinded-folded warrior begins to emerge.

Page 10 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Five robed blinded-folded warriors stand ready.

Panel 2: Genevieve unsettled behind Chitso


Hunters of the Horoshi

Panel 3: Chitso looks over his shoulder at her.



Panel 4: Genevieve panics.


Chitso look out!

Panel 5: Chitso’s eyes roll back.

Page 11 (4 panels)

Panel 1: A throwing star flies at Chitso.

Panel 2: Chitso reaches his hand out to block it.



Panel 3: Chitso’s arm molds into water.

Panel 4: Chitso is shocked when his fires a blast of water that knocks the throwing star back.

Page 12 (5 panels)

Panel 1: The Horoshi jumps aside from the water blast.

Panel 2: Chitso screams at his hand that’s returned to normal.


Just how did I do that!?

Panel 3: Close up of Genevieve confused.


Um, because you’re a Water elemental

Panel 4: Chitso looks back at her.


A what!?

Panel 5: Genevieve points behind Chitso panicking.


Chitso! Would you just focus on the fight!

Page 13 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso looks back at the Horoshi rushing him.

Panel 2: Chitso faces them.


Genevieve! Get back now!

Panel 3: A Horoshi kicks at Chitso, but Chitso ducks aside.

Panel 4: Another Horoshi tries to kick from the side, but Chitso blocks it.

Panel 5: The first Horoshi that kicked tries to punch, but Chitso grabs it.

Page 14 (4 panels)

Panel 1: The Horoshi then grabs Chitso’s wrist.

Panel 2: Chitso is worried.

Panel 3: Another Horoshi tries to punch him.

Panel 4: Genevieve screams



Page 15 (1 Panel)

Panel 1: The punch connects, but Chitso explodes into water that splashes over the Horoshi.

Page 16 (3 Panels)

Panel 1: The Horoshi lay slump on the group, confused over what happened.

Panel 2: A pool of water moves across the ground.

Panel 3: The water begins to build up near Genevieve, but not too near.

Page 17 (3 panels)

Panel 1: The water finishes forming into Chitso, holding his mouth and stomach.


Just how did I do that!?


You mean your element transform technique?

Panel 2: Chitso Samake panics.

Panel 3: The Horoshi throw an grey orb at them.




Page 18 (4 pages)

Panel 1: The orb smashes at Chitso’s feet and bursts into smoke.

Panel 2: Chitso watches it confused.

Panel 3: Genevieve reaches out to the huge smoke cloud that’s consumed him.



Panel 4: The Horoshi leap into the smoke cloud.

Page 19 (4 panels)

Panel 1: The smoke cloud

(sound effects)

Pow! Wham! Smack! Crack! Bam!

Panel 2: Genevieve looking on concerned.

Panel 3: Genevieve then looks at her wings



Panel 4: Genevieve then flaps her wings hard.

Page 20 (4 panels)

Panel 1: Smoke is blown aside and Chitso stands over four of the knocked down Horoshi, panting and bruised.

Panel 2: Genevieve looks at him amazed.



Panel 3: Chitso rolls his head.

Panel 4: The last Horoshi stands with his arm folded

Page 21 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso smirks at him.


Take it you’re the main guy huh?

Panel 2: Close up of Chitso’ fist clenching.



Well I’ve got a surprise

Panel 3: White beads of energy start to coat around the fist.

Panel 4: The Horoshi pulls out a throwing star.

Panel 5: the Horoshi throws the weapon.

Page 22 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso lifts him his glowing fist.

Panel 2: The throwing star begins to shed into white beads.

Panel 3: The throwing star bursts apart into white beads close to the glowing fist.

Panel 4: The Horoshi steps back shocked.

Panel 5: Chitso dashes up to the Horoshi.

Page 23

Panel 1: Chitso slugs the Horoshi across the face.

Panel 2: The Horoshi turns into white energy that starts breaking down into white beads.

Panel 3: The Horoshi then bursts apart.

Panel 4: Chitso then stands with remnants of white bead energy still lingering.

Page 24 (5 pages)

Panel 1: The Horoshi getting back up look in horror.

Panel 2: Chitso glares at him.


You still want to go at it?

Panel 3: The Horoshi scatter.

Panel 4-5: The Horoshi disappear back into the bushes.

Page 25 (4 panels)

Panel 1: Genevieve watches amazed.



Panel 2: Chitso continues to stand proudly.

Panel 3: Close up of Chitso


You al-.

Panel 4: Chitso flinches.

Page 26 (4 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso drops down threshing pain.


Ack! There’s that pain again!

Panel 2: Genevieve panics.

Panel 3: Genevieve rushes over


Don’t worry Chitso! I’m coming!

Panel 4: View of the forest trees.

Page 27
(5 panels)

Panel 1: Another view of the forest.




Panel 2: Another view of the forest



Calm down Chitso so my pixies can heal you!

Panel 3: Close up of the frustrated pixies channelling their energy into Chitso’s bruises.



I can’t help it. They’re just so ticklish!

Panel 4: Close up of Chitso trying not to laugh.

Panel 5: Genevieve sits with her chin in her hands unamused.

Page 28 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Both Chitso and Genvive sitting on a rock with Genevieve’s wings form into some form of siggly wave reaching over to Chitso.

Panel 2: Close up of Chitso awkward.


So, uh, what’s your name again?

Panel 3: Genvive surprised.


Do you have amnesia or something?

Panel 4: Chitso scratching his chin.


Well it took me a while to remember my own name so I guess so.

Panel 5: Genevieve with her eye brows furrowed.


Well I guess it’s up to me to tell you the basics of your life

Page 29 (3 panels)

Panel 1: Genevieve takes a deep breath.

Panel 2: Genevieve begins to rant.


Your names Chitso Samake, you’re an water elemental of the Empire Ossuka guild. Elementals are people born with an exceptional amount of chi that has imitated a single source and can then be uses to form what’s called techniques. You have two best friends named Burendan and Ruisus! I think your favourite food with is beef ribs if I recall! You love plays! And your cursed!

Panel 3: Chitso watches her surprised.


Okay, wow, that’s quite a bit

Page 30 (4 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso realises.


Wait! The curse thing! Just what is that about

Panel 2: Genevieve presses her chin with her finger.


Well I don’t know a lot about how. But I do know what you have is called the Kiton curse. The Kiton curse is normally made when love doesn’t work out between a Kiton and someone from a different race. It happens instinctively so Kiton don’t do it on purpose. But anyways, the person whose curse is meant to die in agonising pain. You didn’t though.

Panel 3: Chitso sweats nervously.


Any idea why?

Panel 4: Genevieve shrugs.


Something to do with you breaking up with the Kiton and not the other way around like how it’s supposed

Page 31

Panel 1: Chitso sits anxiously worried.

Panel 2: Chitso then realises.



Panel 3: Chitso continues speaking.


You still haven’t told me anything about you yet. Who are you?

Panel 4: Genevieve smiles


Oh yeah you’re right!

Page 32 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Genevieve poses.


My names Genevieve Bubbles. I’m also a member of the Ossuka Empire guild or at least I’m under protection by it. I’m a Forest spirit, a being who is literally the spirit of the forest. I’m what keeps it a live and growing.

Panel 2: Chitso looks at her stunned.


Uh, wow. So why were those Horoshi hunters attacking you?

Panel 3: Genevieve stands depressed.


Sigh, most likely to get rid of the forest. There are people who wish to build things like houses, forts and all kind of things Forest spirit lands. Real power, like the government, won’t protect us because we don’t live in settlements and choose to live in the wilds, not like we have that choice. So we have to rely on the elemental guilds for protection oh.

Panel 4: Chitso sits nodding.


Oh, I get it.

Panel 5: Close up of Chitso’s ears.



Yo! Chitso! Finally found you.

Page 33 (4 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso stares blankly



Panel 2: Chitso grasps his head.

Panel 3: Chitso Samake screams.


They are voices in my head!

Panel 4: Genevieve’s wings have retracted to her and she reaches out to Chitso whose kicking his legs out.


Chitso! Calm down! What are you trying to say!?

Page 34 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Chitso rolling and kicking on the ground.



Chitso! It’s me Merlick!

Panel 2: Close up of Chitso screaming.


Waagh! The voices are calling itself Merlick! What do I do!

Panel 3: Genevieve waves her hands at Chitso.


Chitso, Merlicks is a psychic friend of yours

Panel 4: Chitso pauses.





Who is that you’re talking to?





Hold on.

Panel 5: Genevieve looks up in the air.


Oh hey Merlick.

Page 35 (7 pages)

Panel 1: Chitso watches confused.



He has amnesia… I don’t know how… I don’t know… I just found in lying in the water of my domain… no there isn’t a bruise-... Okay…

Panel 2: Genevieve looks at Chitso.


Merlick wants to meet you at the Laidback Inn. He says he’ll use his psychic powers to heal you

Panel 3: Chitso jumps up with his fist raised.


Right! Let’s go!

Panel 4: Chitso then embarrassingly smile at Genevieve innocently.


Uh, could you come with, because I don’t know where that is

Panel 5: Chitso’s head vibrates.

Panel 6: Chitso’s eyes are wide.


Nevermind, I think Merlick just transplanted the locations into my head

Panel 7: Chitso gives an awkward grin.


Can still come with it you want?

Page 36 (6 panels)

Panel 1: Genevieve waves her hand smiling.


Um no, that’s alright. I really don’t want to be anywhere near Merlick

Panel 2: Chitso concerns.


Why? He’s not dangerous is here?

Panel 3: Genevieve gives a spiteful look.


No, he’s just a leader of a different guild who keeps burrowing you from ours without our permission. He’s also an arrogant mooch with anger issues

Panel 4: Chitso stares.


And somehow this guy’s my friend

Panel 5: Genevieve holds up her hands.


Yeah, I don’t know why either. But right now he’s the best you’ve got for restoring your memories. He’s the only psychic I know that would be willing.

Panel 6: Chitso nods



Page 37

Panel 1: Chitso smiles.


See you later than

Panel 2: Genevieve nods.


See you later to

Panel 3: Chitso then marches off into the forest.

Appreciate feedback please.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
An obsessed freak
User avatar
Posts: 536
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 6:48 am
Location: Shetland Isles
Gender: Male

Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Working comic/manga scripts)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Tue Jul 15, 2014 3:09 pm

The Last hero returns
Script style: Freebird
Target things introduced: The humour, Dare's rouge skills. Zenedoro's fast-talking, the Mysterious woman and the mystery, Thale, Champions of the Gods, action, The Archidamian war
Target things I failed to introduce: The Spartans, Sorita and anything to do with her, Phalus, the brink of another war and the exposition Champions of the Gods
Target words 2,000words

Underneath the deep sea where there is fish swimming around the seaweed.

Mysterious woman
Arise warrior… Do you hear me?... Arise I said.

Move in closer through the sea where there is no undersea life but sea weed and the water is darker.

Mysterious woman
Forget the horrors and betrayal that are marked deep within your soul.

Move closer to see the outline of a man tangled in seaweed.

Mysterious woman
And start anew. Live once more…

Close up of the man’s shut eye.

Mysterious woman
And fight for Greece once more.

The man’s eyes open and he gargles. He tears apart the seaweed rooting him from the ground and then swims towards the surface. He emerges out and roars into the sky.

The man swims around in place disorientated.

Mysterious woman
This way warrior…

The man spins around and the spots the forest shore.

Mysterious woman
To me…

The man hesitates, but then swims forward. He steps onto the shore and stares into the forest.

Mysterious woman
Hurry now! Hurry! They are close! Hurry I said!

The man grunts, but then sprints into the forest. Jumping over fallen trees and ducking through branches.

Mysterious woman
Hurry! They are almost upon you.

The man

A warrior armed with a shield rams into the man’s side, knocking him into a tree. The man shakes his head and sees the warrior is in full darkish-grey hoplite cloak. The man bears his teeth and gets to his feet.

The man
What do you want with me!?

The warrior jumps at him, slashes his sword at the man, but he dodges it and punches his fist into his cheek. The warrior is only dazed, but then the man removes his shield from him and uses it to bash across him. The man then steps over the warrior with shield ready to slam in him.

The man
I said! What do you want with me!

Mysterious warrior
Impressive warrior.

The man turns his head and sees more warriors like the one on the ground stalking in the shadows. One he can almost see clearly through his helmet visors with gaunt face.

Mysterious warrior
Sadly we have for you on Hades’ behalf to claim you.

The man

Mysterious woman
Not so fast.

The warriors turn to see a robed woman wearing a theatre mask.

Mysterious woman
I have already made a bargain with Hades for the rights of his soul. He is going nowhere.

The gaunt face warrior paces forward.

Mysterious warrior
If that is true, it would be some price indeed. I doubt there’d be anyone you would be able to leave Tartarus.

Mysterious woman
Yours is not to ask, but to serve Champions of Hades, now be off with you.

Mysterious warrior
…Very well, I can sense indeed, this bargain, but I pray that it was wise that you would let a person like this walk the earth again.

The warriors disappear into the forest. The man watches them leave and then gives a weary look to the masked woman.

The man
Just who are you?

Mysterious woman
You are unpermitted to ask me any questions. Only know that for now on your name is Thale and that we are to head on a journey to save Greece.

Ramshackle village surrounded by the forest.

A gang of thugs escort a cart of goods into their home. A duo, both dressed with a Greek farmer hat and robes, but one a human and the other a red-bearded satyr.

Are you seriously wanting to go through with this, Zenodoros? I mean if we get caught, we’re as good as dead.

Well it isn’t like we have a choice Dare. They’re going to execute the wrong man for theft. Can’t really leave it on our consciousness when we knew we could’ve done something, especially when it’s an innocent father of six children.

I suppose you’re right. But I just wish you’d come up with a different plan than the same usual.

It’s always worked hasn’t it? Well not always, but it’s had a pretty good success ratio. Plus you should know where to find them thanks to the house layout plans we stole.

Sigh, let’s just get this over with.

Inside the dark dank home of the thugs.

Thugs sit around the table dice gambling and chatting. One of them then enters through the door

Tito, you have someone who wishes a word from you. He says he’s from the Horridshadow gang.

Thugs are in shock.

The Horridshadow!? L-let him in!

Zenodoro’s footsteps in and the Zenodoros stands proudly before them.

Huh? You don’t seem like someone from the Horridshadow.

Well everyone looked identical we’d be a bit too easy for people to catch us. But if you really don’t think I’m one of the Horridshadow members, I can go back and tell it to my boss who will want compensation for having to waste so much time trying to get to talk to you.

Um, well could I get some proof at least that your of the Horridshadow.

I guess if you insist.

Zenodoros rolls down his sleeve to show a smoke shaped bracelet causing the men to gasp.

A-A lieutenant!

Ah, finally a little respect. So yeah, I want you all to sit down and listen because this is big!

SCENE Thug walks back to his post, but trips up on a piece of string and is met by a punch. The thug is knocked unconscious while Dare dances around holding his fist.


Dare takes a few deep breaths and then goes sneaking around the place. He goes into the junction where he can see the door slightly open to where Zenodoros is.

By stealing all the cabbages, we’ll have increased the demand for them. Cabbages are more popular than you think after all and when they’re-

Dare smirks and shakes his head and continues. He is startled when he spots a thug guarding a door, before the thug sees him, Dare barrel rolls into a random room. The thug hears the thump Dare made and investigates. When he enters the room, he slips on some dropped oranges.

As the thug tries to get his head together, Dare gently drops the empty barrel and sneaks around him. He then heads in the room that he was guarding

Just who dropped all these oranges in here!?

Dare finds himself the storage room filled with chests and vases and looks around frantically.

Oh come on.

Dare starts looking in the pots and chests.

The thug tries to get himself up again, but slips on the oranges.

Would someone give me a hang!

Dare continues to search and finally finds a golden statue inside a chest that had gold horns inscribed on the lid.

Thank the Gods!

Other thug
What’s going on?

Someone dropped all these oranges!

Other thug
What we’re you even doing in here?

I-I thought I heard someone here.

Other thug
Just get back to your post. I’ll have someone else deal with this mess

Thug walks back to the room grumbling. He looks into the storeroom and then Dare leaps out and stuffs his head into a vase. Dare then throws the thug into the room and runs out and pass the other thug who was just walking back.

How’s you doing?!

Other thug

SCENE Back in the room with Zenodoros speaking to the gang.

So that’s proposition eleven, the next one.

Enough! I was hoping the Horridshadows would have a more challenging and rewarding proposition rather than stealing cabbages, scaring children in their sleep and streaking in front of politicians!

Hey, it’s unorthodox compared to what we normally do, but that’s why we need someone like your gang doing it.

Just what are you saying!?

The other thug bursts through the door.

Other thug
Boss! A satyr just stole one of our goods.

What do you mean a satyr!

Whoops, must’ve left the door behind me. You know how can find a satyr if you forget to leave those things closed.

Tito leers.

You’re not from the HorridShadows are you?

Heh, was beginning to think it was going to be too hard to figure that out.

Boys… I want you to rip him apart.

Thugs get off their sheets.

Wait! Don’t you want to see a magic trick first?

Zenodoros shows a blue pebble with a marking on it and then blows on it, filling the room with mist that blinds everyone.

Darn it! Stop him! Stop him!

The mist clears and the thugs are scattered around the floor with chairs knocked over.

Was that a wizard?

No! He just used a cheap spell with the use of an enchanted item. But it doesn’t matter!

Tito points out the door.

I want him and that Satyr found!

SCENE Inside a bustling tavern, where the masked woman and Thale on opposite sides of the table.

The masked woman sits quietly while Thale is now dressed in a tunic and sandals whilst eating a roasted boar.

The masked woman
Be finished soon, your help will be needed shortly.

Thale rubs his mouth using his arm.


The masked woman
The two were on the verge of success of helping the village but are unaware that there was no success in their plan to begin with.

I mean why does it have to be me who saves them?

The masked woman
This village is damaged by causes of the Archidamian war where honourable men died and all sorts of losses led men to pray upon others. It has caused it to become corrupt that the only way to save these two will be with your strength and fighting ability

And these two matter why?

The masked woman
Are you actually willing to let two people die?

No, I was just seeing if you were going to keep answering my questions.

The masked woman
I guess it is alright to ask questions about the task at hand. But anything to do about my identity, future tasks or who you are, I will not answer.

And just why?

The masked woman
…Because they will have great consequences if I do answer them.

Thale is shocked.

The masked woman then gets up.

The masked woman
Now let’s go those two will not have long if we keep sitting here.

SCENE Out in the village streets.

Tito leads five of his thugs through the streets.

When I get my hands on those two I’ll

Hey, Zenodoros, isn’t that Tito?

Tito looks up and sees Zenodoros and Dare give a fake panic look.

Why yes, I think it is.

Let’s run for it!

Dare and Zenodoros dash off around the corner. Tito chases after him. When he gets around the corner he finds the two playfully hanging around three militia men.

Just what is this?

Dare drops the chest into Militia’s hand.

We wish to oppose Tito as the real criminal who stole the valuable idol and did it to frame someone who refused to pay his protection money. We have testimonial witness, evidence and even Tito here who you saw was trying to stop us.

A sword’s blade appears at Zenodoros’ throat.


A blade is also at Dare’s throat, both blades from the militia. Tito now grins.

Fools, did you not think that my control over this village would also reach to over the militia?

To be honest no or we would’ve forgotten this plan.

Really we didn’t think you were this powerful or why go to such lengths to frame someone?

I am this village; anyone who defy me is also defying the village. Therefore I wanted that worm to punished as a criminal of village.

I see, so you’re going to take your time and find a way to get the village to punish us, is that right?

Heh, no. I can see you both a don’t clever to be left alive.

I take it you don’t have a plan?

To be honest Dare, nope. It was great known you as a best friend.

You two.

Ready men?


Tito and his thugs turn around and down the streets his Thale standing with his arms folded and fists clenched.

You rip one piece of skin off either of them and I make sure you regret it.

Take it he’s someone you know?

If I did I’d definitely remember.

You have a lot of courage to make a threat like that.


Tito’s face twists angrily.

Of course! We outnumber you! You have no weapons and- Wait you’re just mocking me aren’t you.

How about you just shut up and let the two go!

Don’t worry boss, we’ll teach this guy some respect.

The thugs charge out, three carrying clubs and two holding daggers. Thale waits for them. One of the thugs stabs his knife at him, but Thale dodges it and then headbutts him, propelling his head into the crowd. While the hugs are then stunned, Thale drops one and throws him right through the third-story window. A thug then clubs against his back, but his club breaks instead. Thale then shadows over the thug who did it. The other two remaining thugs gawk and then watch their friend fly back folded over his stomach. They turn back to see their friend smashed into a cart that nearly broke apart. The two thugs look back at Thale glaring at them. They drop their weaposn

You know what boss, we’ll go and get reinforcements, yeah reinforcements!

The two thugs then flee. Tito gawks in disbelief, he then turns back to the militia soldiers

Well! Hurry up and kill the two.

The soldiers flinch, they then look at Thale glaring at them.

Do that and you’ll be wishing what I did to these three was what I did you all instead.

The soldiers cringe and the flee. Zenodoros and Dare then rub their necks relieved.

Okay, looks like we owe you our lives stranger, any reason.

The masked woman steps from around a street corner.

The masked woman
We have need of the satyr as a forest guide.

Huh? Why the forest?

The masked woman
You have no need to know.

Well as attractive as I bet you are underneath that mask, it’s him we owe are lives to.

The masked woman
Actually if I not instructed him, he would’ve not been here.

You mean asked.

Okay, right, fair enough, doesn’t change the question though why you want to go into the forest. If you tell us where you need to go I bet we can think of a safe road.

The masked woman
You’ll just have to do as I say.

Zenodoros looks back at Thale.

Take it she saved your life as well.

Something like that.

Anyways, shouldn’t we do something about this guy?

They look at Titos down on his knees scratching the ground frustrated.

Good point. He has a bigger hold over this town than I thought and is probably going to take it out on them.

The masked woman
Oh don’t worry, there is a solution, Thale.

SCENE Titos is hanging on a pole over his own house with Zenodoros and Dare throwing his belongings into his crowd. The masked woman and Thale watching from the street.

The masked woman
With this, Titos will have lost all respect and resources to hold any real power over the village.

How do you another won’t just take his place.

The masked woman
The village will not want another Tito and there is a far greater threat that looms that will unite the village from having it divided by criminal lords.

Do you speak of the same threat we are after?

The masked woman
No… We are after an even greater threat… But now we must seek the boy of all solutions.

Appreciate feedback please.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
An obsessed freak
User avatar
Posts: 536
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 6:48 am
Location: Shetland Isles
Gender: Male

Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Epic Fantasy adventure)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:25 am

Okay, posted everything in the bottom of my first page, my new story Ekiel Akie, West wind rises. I'll bump updates of it because I'd imagine it would be easier than looking through here and reading it in clunks, but can if people say if they prefer that.

Anyone who doesn't care for authour notes can just get on with and read it, but this here is another re-write from an old story from something like six-seven years ago. It was my second novel however when I nearly broke every English rule, mainly the golden ones, like tell as much as the reader needs to know, perspective rule that was broken like if you were pro-wrestler's anger management dummy (Well they wouldn't be trying no to hurt you if you were a dummy to take your anger out on, but please let us not get into a debate about this and keep to the idea I'm making lol ) and I was 'boomsticking' I think you call it? As I'd always add speech tags but always add a different tag on the end to avoid using the same tag (Yes it was hard and stupid and a waste of time). The book got to 220,000+ words and was estimated with my teacher I see every two weeks that it could've been 80,000words.
Nonetheless, people really enjoyed it, the characters, the story and the world. I even sent it to a professional writer (Costed money) who had said 'This has a story... and that it all too rare'. Sure he slandered the writing like a merciless butcher, that it could be described that he wanted to shut himself to get out of the writing atrocity, but he loved the characters, especially the villains, the world, action scenes and humour that I've never let go if Ekiel Akie since and after years of improving both my storytelling and writing skills, I've decided to come back to it.
So hopefully this idea won't be as quickly abandoned as my other ones as it's an ambitious idea that I'm not just doing for fun (But it's pretty fun re-exploring my own fantasy world again and the characters I do find great). Only had one review so far and he has been really helpful at changing the direction, not sure if he forced me to tell too much though, but I'll see what the rest of you think.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Epic Fantasy adventure)

Postby Birdofterror » Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:29 am

Thy Obsessive Freak wrote:So hopefully this idea won't be as quickly abandoned as my other ones as it's an ambitious idea that I'm not just doing for fun (But it's pretty fun re-exploring my own fantasy world again and the characters I do find great). Only had one review so far and he has been really helpful at changing the direction, not sure if he forced me to tell too much though, but I'll see what the rest of you think.
Yeah, sorry for being so awol, but I have to read your story in short bursts, and given the speed of your updates, and the length of your posts, I'm afraid I must admit I haven't tried to catch up in a few weeks. Doing my own story gives me little time to work with someone else's.

I'll work on starting up again, but I'm very far back in the page and it could take a few weeks to catch up with the current post.

But, reading your synopsis on the first page I spotted an error.
Being the God of desires and pleasures, he grants her a higher role in society and it's almost then that everything Gretchen could hope for, respect, satisfaction and happiness.
It's almost then that everything Gretchen could hope for should be "It's almost more than Gretchen could hope for.", right?
"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Epic Fantasy adventure)

Postby Birdofterror » Sun Aug 17, 2014 2:45 pm

Sorry for the double post, but I feel like I've learned enough to create an entirely unique post, to be separated from the above post.

I made an effort to get farther into the story of Gretchen after making the previous post. I left off originally, as of the post above on Part 4, but I read and read and made it all the way to Part 15. I have to say, your writing style, not unlike your submission to the writing contest, completely enchants me. It's very rare that a writer completely grabs my mind by the reigns and forces me to keep reading, and I mean sincerely the rarity of that, as I find it tiring to read most books.

Your subplots, the way minor details blossom into a completely fleshed out story, it's all genuinely outstanding. My only problem with your story is the fact that you have SO MANY grammatical errors and other literary mistakes. You work so fast and efficiently, but your story suffers from serious crippling errors such as those, like spelling "No" or "Now" as "Know." There were dozens of times where I saw that happen.

If you want my honest opinion on this subject, you could 'really' use an editor. A good one, a patient one. Unfortunately, before it sounds like I'm volunteering, I must state that I am usually finding it hard to find the time to work on my own story. So yeah, an editor, or a damned good proof reader would do wonders, because that obvious blemish is sullying an otherwise brilliant story.
"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Epic Fantasy adventure)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:02 am

Don't worry, I was referring only to Ekiel Akie. Gretchen of the Forbidden Bliiss ended up with lotz of fans and gave lotz of feedback that I dropped because it was a fannfic and I wanted to work on my own original story again.

But it's honestly great to know and helps me deal with pain I'm suffering through right now that someone is reading it still. Think Grimlylovegunner and a few other people are reading through it. Just hard to get original work passed long these days.

Almost didn't notice you had read though and it's really flattering with what you had to say and really great to hear. And you are right there's many grammatical mistakes, this was to do fact I just never proof-read my fanfic, because will, it was a fanfic. I wrote this more for fun and so on with no obligation. Works like Pride and Feminism and Ekiel Akie have been proof fread.

But thanks you've really put up a hugely bad day I was having. There was this disgusting lump inside my leg that the doctors suspect is trapped fluid and a tumour (Maybe shouldn't have typed that but trying to share the agony I was going through). Woke up this morning, needed pain killers nurses were taking forever, that I started getting into tears, screaming 'Please! Hurry up!" and probably scared a lot of the staff and patients (But I do suspect my doors sound proof). The nurses had explained they've never seen me like that in a long time, last time I was like that was with my leg for the second time and the doctors saw me for once while I was in it and realized just how much pain I was in. HereI in pain because this lump somehow just triggers other leg pain and stopped me from moving my right leg. It was scary and horrible and right not the doctors haven't came to see me yet even though I said it was urgent.
So yeah, this is the sort of blissful though that's just helped me get through that pain or atlest distract me, distraction has shown to help, had my music on while it was happening. So yeah puts me in tears and makes me want to edit/continue Forgotten Bliss, but I've already started other projects that's eating time, plus hospital were I'm dealing with cancer. But might indeed just come running back to it. Honestly Birdofterror you really have cheered me up. Even if it was a negative review, the fact you felt that way about the subplots the way I wanted to feel people (A reoccurring theme, think Gretchen's about deal with something minor, but explodes to effect the entire story) is so exciting your recognized. So yes, you did so much more help than you think that I could french kiss you.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Epic Fantasy adventure)

Postby Birdofterror » Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:56 am

I'm flattered that you think that way about my review. I'll keep reading, and I feel for your pain. I'm glad I could make you feel even the smallest bit better.

Hang in there, I'll always be here waiting for you to post again. :grin:
"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.
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Re: Thy Obsessive freak's stories (Epic Fantasy adventure)

Postby Thy Obsessive Freak » Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:13 am

Trust me when it was more than just a small bit. Anything that puts my mind of the pain, especially a friend supporting me with my work gives me relief.
Anyone want ta take look at my own comic?

The art's quite modest, but I'm told the story's fun.
An obsessed freak
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