I have Updated! It's a miracle!
ZIR, reporting for Duty
In the cafeteria at ‘Skool’, Dib plonked his tray down next to his sister’s.
“Zim’s planning something again, I just know it!”
Gaz, who was more than used to this by now, grunted without looking up from her Gameslave 2. If Dib wanted to speak to her, he’d have to content himself talking to the angular mop of purple hair that concealed most of her face from view, as she stared downward. Her squinted eyes were focused solely on the electronic screen before her – beyond the sight of glowing vampire piggies, Dib’s head and scythe-like hair was nothing more than a massive, irritating blur.
“He hasn’t been in school at all today,” Dib began, unaware that Gaz was quietly fuming beside him, as his voice continued to interrupt the flow of her concentration “– I bet he’s working on another scheme…I tried using the spy cameras I installed in his house to figure out what he’s doing – but the ones in his base are smeared with some sort of…strange substance. Do you think Zim’s worked out where they are and tried to sabotage them?”
“Dib,” Gaz growled, “If you make me loose this level, I shall see to it that your tongue is removed PERMANENTLY and that you never speak again.”
But her brother was too caught up in his own thoughts. “Who knows what he’s up to this time!…I’m going to have to wait until after school and see if I can sneak into his house again. IF he hasn’t strengthened the defences yet…I bet he’s thinking up another scheme as I speak! And if I don’t stop him then…”
Without a word, Gaz huffily walked away, fingers still jabbing away at the game console in her hands. Deciding to ignore him instead of ripping out his tongue was probably best for now, as she was preoccupied with her game. But it was still very tempting…
* * *
“Whatcha doin? Whatcha doin? Whaaatcha dooooin?” Asked GIR, bouncing around Zim as he worked.
The base had been cleared of the sludge by now – only a few splatters oozing out from the corners of work-surfaces remained. But Zim wore a mask as he worked all the same, still paranoid about the stink coming from the damaged SIR Unit.
“GIR,” said Zim through his mask, “You’re too distracting. Go up stairs and don’t come back down until I have finished!”
GIR had been bouncing about all over the place, but at Zim’s words he stopped suddenly.
“Yes Sir!” The robot said in the Standard SIR unit tone, his eyes glowing deep red as he saluted. Then they became wide and blue once more, as he added with a high pitched shriek: “Okie dokie!” and zoomed away out of sight.
Time passed. Zim continued to work. Sparks flew as he held a welding torch over the SIR Unit, the glints of light reflecting in his protective goggles. Day slowly turned into night – Zim wiped the moisture of his brow, but carried on. He cut and sawed and hammered and soldered, an unearthly glow reflecting onto his face and bouncing across the dark surfaces of the room. As the sky outside darkened even further, he held up two ends of cable in his hands, live and brimming with electricity. As he held the ends up to the SIR unit, lightening currents coursed through the whole of the base, so much so that it sent GIR screaming delightedly down to have a look, but Zim shooed the robot back upstairs before he could interfere.
Finally, in the dead of night, Zim’s work was done.
“IT’S…ALIVE!!” came the exclamation from Zim’s house.
A neighbour, who in the middle of the night just happened to be randomly reading his paper out in the yard, looked over towards the sound. He stared in the direction of Zim’s house.
“That darn green kid,” he muttered under his breath, and went back to his paper.
Back inside Zim’s Lab, the newly-fixed SIR unit stirred, its eyes flashing from an empty black to solid red.
“Systems fully functional!” it stated in the usual SIR unit tone, springing to its feet – and, noticing Zim, leapt down from the work-surface and saluted.
“ZIR, reporting for duty,” the unit told him stoutly.
“IT’S PERFECT!” Zim declared with a scream. Then, he stopped, looking quizzically at the new SIR unit. “‘ZIR’…? What does the ‘Z’ stand for?”
“I don’t know…” the unit said. Its tone was lowered darkly…almost meaningfully…
However Zim was oblivious. “Yes, yes,” he said waving a hand carelessly, no longer interested, “I thought you’d say something like that…Now” The Invader’s eyes gleamed, “To business. I’d like to test your skills as a new evil henchman, preferably on the Dib human…but that may have to wait until tomorrow. The amount of power I had to use to repair you means that my whole base now needs time to recharge, so I’m deactivating you until the morning.”
So saying Zim moved over to the robot, removing the lid on its head and flicking a switch. The red glow from the SIR Unit’s eyes dimmed and faded out, as the robot deactivated. Zim left ZIR propped up against a workbench, as he went to the lift and resurfaced from the toilet up into the kitchen. GIR was still on the living room sofa, watching a late-night repeat of ‘The scary Monkey show’ and tucking into giant globs of pizza.
“Oh yeah…” GIR told his master though mouthfuls of pizza, as the Irken walked into the room, “Dib showed up earlier with a moosey camera.”
Zim looked alarmed. “Dib?! – You didn’t let him in, did you?”
GIR waved a robotic hand carelessly, eyes now glued to the screen. “Nah. He wasn’t very nice. The squirrel army chased him all away, just like the peanuts. I like peanuts!”
Zim raised an eye at this, but sat down next to the robot on the sofa, shrugging it off. No doubt GIR had meant the security gnomes had taken care of Dib – not a squirrel army. Although…having an army of squirrels wouldn’t be a bad idea, come to think of it…He would have to remember that for future reference.
Meanwhile, back in the dark silence of Zim’s underground Lab, a pair of robotic eyes flickered back into life…
Slowly, ZIR sat up, and with a turn of his head, his eyes became dark once more. Only this time, his eyes didn’t become empty and lifeless. Instead they narrowed, becoming a glowing, shiny black, and his stitched up mouth grew into a twisted grin.
* * *
“AWWwww…Where did the monkey go?” moped GIR, as the last repeat of the scary monkey show ended, and was replaced with an early morning programme. The robot looked blankly at the screen for a moment, as if expecting the monkey to appear again at any second. “Monkey!” he shrieked at the screen – not realising that the people on the screen could not hear his demands.
Zim, having nothing better to do, had ended up watching the TV with him the whole night – and after having the defective SIR Unit giggling and murmuring at the screen for no apparent reason every few minutes, was glad to find it was morning at last. Stretching his aching limbs, he slipped off the sofa and headed off back into the depths of his base. He stepped up to the toilet – which was actually one of the many secret lifts that gave access to the Irken technology below. With a pull of the chain, the Irken was sent spinning downwards, complete with a realistic sounding toilet gurgle.
A platform beneath his feet, it was a smooth, swift lift journey down after that. Zim tapped his feet impatiently as the platform continued its descent, eager to get back to his ‘creation’. Finally, the lift slowed and glided to a stop, the alien metal doors before him sliding open with a futuristic hiss.
As the lights in the lab switched on automatically, he walked over to the deactivated Unit he had left there last night. He stopped for a moment, appearing to frown.
“That’s strange,” he commented to himself, discovering the lifeless robot right next to the computer, “I don’t remember leaving you there…” He scratched his head for a moment – before seeming to dismiss the thought entirely. “Oh well,” he shrugged carelessly, reaching over to reactivate ZIR.
The robot’s eyes flashed onto red, and it leapt to its feet. “ZIR, reporting for duty, Sir!” the unit declared, its reactions a lot quicker than the previous night.
“Excellent!” said Zim, pleased with his new mechanical minion. “Now,” he declared importantly, pacing up and down in front of the SIR unit, “I am going to assign you with your first mission. Your first mission will be to…uh…” he glanced around him for inspiration. “…Eh…hmmm…”
Whilst his attention was averted, ZIR’s red eyes refocused themselves on Zim, as he paced back and forth. Within the red glare of ZIR’s robotic vision, the robot’s systems began an analysis on the small green Irken before him. But something else caught the attention of both the SIR unit and Invader before either of them could progress any further.
“Whoooheee-hoo! Chicken time!” from a chute in the wall, another SIR unit shot out suddenly, eyes bright blue as it proceeded to dance around the room, making realistic clucking noises.
“GIR,” Zim demanded, irritated, “Who said you could come down here yet? Go back upstairs and…watch some more human broadcasts or something...just get out of my way.”
GIR looked up, pausing in mid dance. His eyes slowly flashed red as he saluted, and with that the robot shot back upstairs, apparently bursting into tears with disappointment.
ZIR, the other unit, watched him leave. “GIRRR…” the new unit repeated suddenly, his voice lowered darkly. ZIR’s robotic face seemed to change. His eyes twitched slightly, and flashed onto black.
“Huh?” asked Zim quizzically, snapping his head back around. But as the Irken turned back to look at the SIR Unit, its eyes flickered quickly back onto red in an instant.
“A temporary glitch in my system, Sir,” the robot told Zim. “Glitch is now fixed and will be dismissed.”
Zim gave a slight nod, clearly having already dismissed it. “Hmm. Now…as I was saying, your mission…”
He turned to the computer. “Computer, run up a file on the Dib.”
If I must, said the computer jadedly, as Irken symbols and a picture of a boy with thick circular glasses and dark scythe-like hair flashed up on the screen.
The Irken Invader gestured melodramatically towards the computer display. “Behold, ZIR, your first target! But first, I want you to spy on his house for me and send back useful information on all you find there.”
The unit saluted, unquestionably on full duty mode. “Yes Sir - I obey, Sir!” ZIR declared without delay.
Zim clasped and curled his fingers together, grinning to himself, as a new plan already began to formulate in his mind.
“Dib is always interfering in my plans and trying pitifully to spy on my base…let us see how he reacts when the tables are turned! Oh yes, Dib, you won’t be expecting this…!”
Behind him, ZIR’s twisted mouth grinned.
* * *
_________________Hiryu: Doc's bag is a portal. She's actually from another dimension and when she jumped into it, she ended up at a desk with a browser open on this site. That's how she found it.We have a Doctor Who thread now. Doctor Who threads are cool.