GodComplX Ch.2 Finished (3 on the way)

Fan-fiction, short stories, screenplays, poems -- anything text-based really belongs here.

Moderator: Mod Squad

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Kyomen » Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:18 pm

W/e then pplz. :3 I'll just do that then. o.o; But I'd appriciate it if you'd talk about the actual text rather than my posting. We don't want to have another grape now do we? ;3

Lul I just realized something. Blood, remember when you said you were going to destroy muh story? x3 I've had people grade things hundreds of times worse. o.o I was much more pleased with the results you gave me than those someone else I could mention would have. That guy would've raped my story until there was nothing left x_x He scares me.
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Thiamor » Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:07 am

Actually, I'll be talking about your story and how you post. Because that will come hand-in-hand due to if you post so many times for no reason; you're to lose any given respect that you had earned because people may find it to be quite annoying( remember, you could lose it doesn't necessarily mean that you will, though). Your story and your posting habits are one and the same. You need to learn that writing a story and have it good can be changed by outside chatter. It can be the best story in the world, and no-one wants to read it because you could be portrayed as annoying.
Working on another story other than Hellfire, called Geistauge, which can be found here.
Show me on the doll
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 575
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 2:48 am
Location: The Darkness Before Time
Gender: Male

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:26 pm

Blood, remember when you said you were going to destroy muh story?

I was being nice.

If you want I can go through the entire thing. Sentence by sentence and identify all of the problems you have, the problems I have with it, what you can do better, and what I expect you to do better next time.

But I'm not your editor and contrary to popular belief, I have a life.
Snafu Gold Card Member!

offline
 
Posts: 18986
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:21 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Kyomen » Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:59 pm

Lol blood. Anyway, Thia, thanks for explaining a bit more. o.o Makes a more sense now than it did before, and I see what you're getting at. It makes a lot of sense now. Anyway~ Thanks for the offer blood, but I'll just have him check it after I finish chapter one. He's like the devil when it comes to this kind of thing and I really do admire him o.o He's like muh hero when it comes to literature. Oh yea, one more thing. If you guys could like post your thoughts about the story and what not and possibly any suggestions for plot twists and what not. I'd be glad to try and mix them in with the story as best I can! (Provided it follows my general story plot in some way.)
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Kyomen » Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:36 pm

Update #3!!! Nothing left but the Future!

Remarkably, my body stood there, unharmed. It was surrounded by bullet holes within the machine's very own torso. For a couple seconds, my tortured body stood there staring down the barrel of this massive weapon with its closed eyes. The rain created a feint mist around my body as it evaporated off of my skin. My heated cage burst forward in a graceful dash towards the massive mechanical arm. On the way, it dodged, ducked, slid under, and parried every bullet that flew its way. Once under the large rifle, it lept up into the air and swiftly sliced the entire weapon apart. My body proceeded to hop along the falling weapon pieces moving itself into a position where it could strike the arm; now that my body was in striking range, it resumed its deadly rampage and hacked up the machine's remaining arm. The Gigas had been defeated.

It stopped raining. Suddenly, I was pulled back into my body. I could feel the weight of my flesh and the smell of the wet, bloodly landscape beneathe me. It was wrought with the scent of iron. I was facing the east and on the horizon I could see the vehicles of men halted and facing me. I could not make out their faces at the time, but I now know that they were utterly fearful; yet, they were full of relief. The tears of heaven straightened a few locks of my hair so that they fell upon my face. My clothing was blackened and singed beyond recognition. My head, for once, was calm and clear. I was strangely content. All of a sudden, tears began to streak down my cheeks.

Without warning, the pain I felt before my out of body experience returned in surplus. Mixed with the insane exhaution I was feeling at the time, the pain rendered me unconcious. As this immense torture traveled throughout my body, I began to think about some things before I lost conciousness. What was going to happen to me now? Was I doomed to live in this wasteland forever? Am I going to die here? Is this a dream? Even if it wasn't, what did I have to live for? What did I have anymore? My kingdom was gone. My family died. The closest people I knew betrayed me. Not even the clothing on my back remained. I had nothing left. Nothing to look to except the future Lilium planned for me...

(Short update because believe it or not o.o; It's the end of chapter one!!! YAY! A milestone in my book :3 Please comment on this new section. Also I'll be making a compilation of the entire chapter including the prologue sometime in the near future.)
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Kyomen » Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:27 pm

Alright, here is the conglomerate version to make things easier for some people. All of chapter one is here. Enjoy~


Avion: The Two Faced War
By Kyomen




Chapter One: Arrival

Hello, my name is Avion. I have curly brown hair, dark brown eyes, height of about five foot eleven inches, and have fair muscle tone. I am, or rather, I was the king of a nation. The nation was called Ava. It might have been much like the realm you reside in. It might not. Ava was a peaceful world where people were moral, content, and faithful. All the land within the world was connected. All the villages, towns, cities, states, and even countries supported one another. Ava had everything; vast plains as far as the eye could see or even comprehend; majestic mountains whose snow covered peaks seemed to touch even the highest part of heaven; oceans which wrapped the entire planet in a generous navy blue; an eternal sky which hid the star coated heavens and disclosed them only after revealing its many ravishing hues; and finally its exuberant inhabitants whose very existence undoubtedly completed the utopian conglomerate. The sad thing though, is that I do not know what has become of it.

This is where my story beings. The capitol of Ava, Lilium, named after our God. Lilium once, long ago, came to our world and graced us with unfathomable knowledge. She taught us how to control the energies of life and the flow of all things. This knowledge is what we use to slow our aging and increase our longevity. To give you an example, I am one-hundred-fifty years old; yet, I appear as though I am around thirty-three. Our average age is approximately two-hundred years old. I suppose that’s enough of a history lesson for now; I’ve gotten off track. Pardon my rambling. Anyway, my home is a rather large building called a Vemora. It’s about seven stories high with shingle roofing, which comes to a point at the top forming a square pyramid, and a red-brick exterior. The only extraordinary thing about the building is the front door. It’s a hulking slab of finely polished white marble with the inscription “May Lilium Bring Thy Soul to Peace” across the uppermost edge. A Vemora isn’t exactly what you’d expect a king to live in, but I am not the kind to flash such trivial things like material wealth. It is more of a town hall than my home I suppose. Many people come in every day to work “desk jobs”. They keep the town orderly, thriving, and happy by deciding on laws and acts, voting for them, as well as keeping the budget balanced. In the dead center of the building, is the throne room where I occasionally go to work or relax.

Sitting on my throne, without a care in the world, I glanced about the room with tranquil eyes. Finely woven tapestry hung from the granite ceiling, invisibly lighting the room with its nostalgic rose colored thread. Carefully sewn doves fill the center of these rectangular sheets of velvet. As I cast my sight lower, thick marble pillars, which support the high ceiling with their impossible strength, fill the room. In my mind, these pillars are like the people who hold this nation together. Alone, none of them can hold this ceiling, but together they hold it up with little effort. At the underbelly of my view, I witness the brilliance of the shining obsidian tiles covering the floor from wall to wall. In the center of these tiles is a long narrow carpet made of tightly woven thread that had been dyed red. The carpet was outlined with a golden color. The lengthy floor decoration traveled from the entrance to the throne where I was perched indolently.

Soon, I began to tap exasperatingly on the arm of my throne as I tried to decide what need to be done today. Suddenly, the sound of rubber soles stepping on tile echoed throughout the throne room. When I think back on it, that sound may just have been the most horrifying sound that I’ve ever heard.

I raised my head and leered down the red carpet. There, in the shadows, was my older step-brother, Raleigh. He wore a bright pair of black leather shoes, whose neck was covered by a pair of long tan slacks. His slender torso was shrouded by a white cotton button-up shirt, and over his long boney arms was a caramel jacket. Raleigh’s long blonde hair was tied up into a pony tail while two bangs of hair dangled in front of his eyebrows. Piercing through the shadows, were his light blue eyes and slender features. At his side, my loving wife and darling son. They wore virginal white clothing. Their faces were encased in shadow. “What’re you three doing here,” I asked cheerily, “come to visit me?”
Raleigh shifted his weight unto his left foot and adjusted his collar with his right thumb and index finger. “No” answered Raleigh calmly.
“Then what is it my dear step-brother?”
“We’ve come to tell you something”
“Well, what is it?”
“Your reign as king, my dear Avion, is at an end”

I straightened my back and gripped my throne as the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. As the word, “Over”, left his lips, the bodies of my beloved queen, Jennifer, and my dear son, Daniel, began to fall to the floor. It all seemed to slow down for me. My heart beat wildly as it sank into my stomach. The expression on my face screamed sadness and horror as a loud “thud” sound reached my ears. Dark red pools of blood sullied the backs of their virginal white shirts. Rage began to fill my heart, as Raleigh wiped the blood of my loved ones off a steel dagger. I began to scream his name in utter hate, but I could not finish due to an incredible pain that ran through my abdomen. I let out a sudden yell, in agony, as a long iron sword tore through my stomach and pierced through the front of my torso. My red shirt darkened with blood, and I clutched the arm of my throne, tilting my head back in shear pain, as the blade ran through my body. The rage in my face quickly mixed with extreme physical and emotional agony. Out of the corner of my eye the feint image of my younger step-brother, Charles, moved past me. Charles was a stout man who usually wore an array of army green clothing. A small beard hung from his chiseled jaw. His blonde hair was usually messy and unorganized.

My neck slowly began to lose strength as I lost more and more blood. I felt light headed. The bodies of my family lay across the room, limp and lifeless. Charles and Raleigh left the large and extravagant room. My vision began to phase in and out, and my head slowly lowered. I was now looking at the weapon, which lead to my tragic end. My blood was scattered along the length of the blade in no particular patter. The liquid of life, which had sustained me all of my life, was now slowly trickling out of my abdomen along the iron wrought blade. Once it had reached the tip, the blood pooled into a small drop and then dropped into my lap. I sat there, pinned to my throne, full of rage, agony, and melancholy; and for the second time in my life, I felt alone.

With my last breath, oddly familiar warmth submerged my body; I felt at peace. A calm and rejuvenating light filled my view and a quiet whisper was all that I could hear. The warmth of this vaguely familiar light bathed my skin in a relaxing aura. Now that I recall the whisper, I could have sworn that it was the loving voice of my dear Jennifer. My soul had accepted death. The absolute calm, which filled every fiber of my being, every part of my soul, felt as if Lilium herself grasped my soul and engorged it with eternal peace. Thought of the next world leapt around my mind and the hope of being reunited with my family filled my heart. Then, without warning, it was all torn away. I could feel the weight of my living body holding my soul in place and all the emotions returned to me once more. My heart began to beat, breath returned to my lungs, and all the hate, melancholy, and revenge, swelled in my mind.

My eyes opened and I gasped for breath purely out of surprise. My eyes stung a bit for it was unbearably bright. I was alive. Realizing that I should not be, I quickly examined my body for the wound, which Charles inflicted upon me, nothing. I was flabbergasted. Lying back down upon the ground, I realized something. I was no longer within the confines of my castle! This fact startled me so much that I began to grasp the ground in order to feel its texture. All that was beneath me was dry, barren soil. The sky above me was cloudy and gray. I sat up to examine my surroundings; much to my surprise, it was empty. There were a few dead, leafless trees scattered about the barren terrain, but that was it. Never in my life had I seen something so... so lifeless, and there I sat, in the middle of nowhere, dead center of a barren wasteland. In the distance I heard several loud bangs followed by a flurry of hushed, in comparison, bangs. Over the course of the next couple minutes, the sounds got louder and closer until I could see a large amount of men rushing my way, down a distant hill, in vehicles I've never seen before. I stood up with great haste in order to move out of their way. They wore faded brown clothing and carried odd weapons. As they dashed past me, I could clearly hear some of their cries. "Hurry up!" some said, "Drive faster damn it!" others yelled, "Gigas is coming!" I thought for a brief moment, "Gigas..? What in the hell is a Gigas?" Soon after this thought my question was answered.

The hill in front of me suddenly exploded! Shards of dry earth scattered across the land and the cries of the men were muffled by the enormous explosion. I quickly covered my head and got down on one knee as to protect myself from any falling debris. I looked up curiously for a moment and then I saw it, Gigas. It was a massive human like machine which carried weapons similar to that of the men driving by me. It possessed a slender head, which bright demonic red eyes rest upon. It was unimaginably tall! Width to height ratio it wasn't that "large" in regards to the size of its arms, legs, and body. It was painted red on its chest plate, forearms, and shins. The rest of its body looked as if it was made out of cast iron or some kind of rusted titanium. For a few instances it stood there, in the still flying debris, and seemed to stare me dead in the eye. Then it raised it's long, skinny arm and pulled the trigger on its weapon. Rounds of ammunition began to fire off and hit several of the retreating vehicles. I was unable to move. Fear had paralyzed my body. All I could do was watch those men get blown to smithereens. Their blood scattered across the field of impact; their vehicles were decimated; their limbs scattered. Some blood even splashed abruptly across my face and the windshields of neighboring cars. It was like a holocaust was taking place right before my eyes.

Then, all of a sudden, my mind began to swell with unimaginable anger. Anger which literally burned my brain and etched itself into my skull. I closed my eyes and fell to my knees, clutching my head. The painful memories of my loved ones hitting the floor filled my mind. Everything else around me suddenly disappeared and all that remained were the blood ridden corpses of my wife and child. The dagger which has killed them was floating carelessly above their bodies. Their blood dripped from its tip. I opened my eyes and looked up at the massive "Death Machine" and the image of my brother, Raleigh, took its place. It began to rain almost as if the heavens were crying for my family. I could feel the cold drops of rain trickle down my skin. The anger that burned inside of me swiftly replaced that cold feeling with an unbearable heat. A blood curdling scream leapt out of my mouth. I became overwhelmed with pain. It felt like my skin was on fire. Suddenly, I found myself looking down upon the holocaust like scene, and surely enough I could see myself. What was happening? How was I having an out of body experience? I was completely and utterly confused. Then I noticed something. I felt no anger, no rage, and that unbearable heat had vanished; all without a trace. As I took a closer look at myself down below, I could see that I was still wrought with anger, rage, and pain.

With closer examination, the drops of rain which fell upon me turned to water vapor and floated back into the sky. What the hell was going on? I seemed to float closer to what was apparently my body. It began to stand up on its own. Its head no longer clutched and its body no longer trembling from the agonizing pain. Its eyes, however, were still closed. My body remained still and emotionless for several seconds, completely unaffected by the chaos around it. Without warning, it quickly raised its arm and opened his hand. There in its hand materialized some sort of slightly curved sword. The sword was made out of some lustrous white metal. The blade was thin and double-edged. The hilt was an empty square with black vine like decorations that wrapped around the blade, and was placed between the tip of the handle and the blade. The handle was made out of the same kind of metal as the blade, but it was long and rectangular with rounded edges; it was also wrapped in tightly woven obsidian thread. My hand grasped the handle in mid-air. Then my wrist snapped and whipped the blade to the right piercing one of the on-coming vehicles. This fast moving vehicle drove straight through the blade creating sparks from the metal on metal contact and friction. These sparks ignited the fuel within the vehicle's gas tank and exploded right as the blade exited the rear end. The two men inside the vehicle were incinerated, and my body still stood there, emotionless, its arm outstretched; the tears of heaven still evaporating off its skin.

As I stood there fearing for my body, it began to move. It took a few slow steps which soon began to slothfully escalate into a brisk pace. With each step, my fingers tapped the handle of the blade in order from pinky to index finger. As the next retreating vehicle approached, the tormented husk let out an eerie shriek. The shriek sounded like a dieing angry animal was letting its opponent know it was about to tear it to shreds. This cry was instantly followed by a spontaneous switch to a sprinting pace. The speed was remarkable and amazingly enough it was graceful as gazelle. This surprised me because I knew my body was still in horrible agony. While it ran towards the unsuspecting vehicle, I noticed that as my clothing rubbed against my skin it was singed to the touch. I was soon, however, distracted from this minor detail due to the fact that my body was cocking its right arm back into a swinging position. The vehicle passed. My arm swung. The blade sliced through the vehicle and the frightened men like a butter knife through butter. This fact aside, I was even more amazed at the pure force and power that the blade was swung with. The weapon was swiped with such speed and strength that the gust following it almost toppled the vehicle! This mass of metal, which easily weighed over two tons, was nearly toppled by air! The same scenario that was applied to the first vehicle was applied to this one. The sparks from contact ignited the fuel and blew the vehicle sky high. The flames burned a bright yellow-orange. Without warning, these flames were cut in two by yet another gust of air that was condensed into an invisible blade. This invisible blade of air sliced through the flames and cut into the neighboring vehicle and the one behind. These mobile machines did not explode; on the contrary, they were cut in half along with the men inside.

This rampage continued on for the next mile. My body would jump onto these cars; tear the men inside asunder within seconds, then leap to the next vehicle where it would do a range of things from destroying the vehicle with a slash of its sword to decapitating the men within from the outside. A strip of carnage a mile long was all that could be said for this line of death. Blood splattered on windshields, roofs torn off, cars decimated, dismembered limbs scattered, and flames jumping from the assimilated wrecks. Within just two and a half minutes my body had sprinted, not jogged, sprinted a full mile. (That's twenty-four mph which is just damn.) The mindless husk soon approached its real target, the giant death machine. This massive machine towered fifteen stories above my enraged body; yet, it still approached without any kind of fear whatsoever. As my body broke within a hundred meters of the "Gigas", it hurled its arched sword at the leg of the beast. Within seconds the blade returned to my container's right hand and the leg of the death machine was lopped off. The same sharp gust of wind, that followed the blade's swings, followed the blade as it was thrown and hacked off the other leg! And so the "Gigas" began to fall.

Even before the legs fell off to the side and the body began to plummet towards the ground, my mindless body leapt an INSANE two and a half stories onto the slowly crumbling left leg of the Gigas. It climbed in leaps and bounds propelling itself upward, feet at a time, with my arms. Within moments the legs fell off and my body had reached the torso, which to my body was falling at an incredibly slow rate due to the fact that it was scaling this immense machine within seconds before it fell. On the torso, this monstrosity that I call a body began to dismember the death machine's arms. First, starting with the right arm, the blade within my right hand hacked off the right arm of the Gigas. The massive machine's head turned to examine its right arm and spotted my body. Only two words ran through my mind at that time; "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!” That was all I could think of to say. Right as the Gigas noticed my body it had hit the ground with an ear punishing crack.

The machine's left arm still took aim at my body. Despite its position, the Gigas began firing off a flurry of rounds from its massive weapon. The rounds of ammunition would have pierced straight through the machine's very own body. This was the end... or so I thought.

Remarkably, my body stood there, unharmed. It was surrounded by bullet holes within the machine's very own torso. For a couple seconds, my tortured body stood there staring down the barrel of this massive weapon with its closed eyes. The rain created a feint mist around my body as it evaporated off of my skin. My heated cage burst forward in a graceful dash towards the massive mechanical arm. On the way, it dodged, ducked, slid under, and parried every bullet that flew its way. Once under the large rifle, it leapt up into the air and swiftly sliced the entire weapon apart. My body proceeded to hop along the falling weapon pieces moving itself into a position where it could strike the arm; now that my body was in striking range, it resumed its deadly rampage and hacked up the machine's remaining arm. The Gigas had been defeated.

It stopped raining. Suddenly, I was pulled back into my body. I could feel the weight of my flesh and the smell of the wet, bloodly landscape beneath me. It was wrought with the scent of iron. I was facing the east and on the horizon I could see the vehicles of men halted and facing me. I could not make out their faces at the time, but I now know that they were utterly fearful; yet, they were full of relief. The tears of heaven straightened a few locks of my hair so that they fell upon my face. My clothing was blackened and singed beyond recognition. My head, for once, was calm and clear. I was strangely content. All of a sudden, tears began to streak down my cheeks.

Without warning, the pain I felt before my out of body experience returned in surplus. Mixed with the insane exhaustion I was feeling at the time, the pain rendered me unconscious. As this immense torture traveled throughout my body, I began to think about some things before I lost consciousness. What was going to happen to me now? Was I doomed to live in this wasteland forever? Am I going to die here? Is this a dream? Even if it wasn't, what did I have to live for? What did I have anymore? My kingdom was gone. My family died. The closest people I knew betrayed me. Not even the clothing on my back remained. I had nothing left. Nothing to look to except the future Lilium planned for me...
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Kyomen » Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:21 pm

I've begun to write the story again. I also went to a publisher and they said what I had thus far was great. I've completed chapters one, two, and four. Still working on finishing three. Also the title has been change to GodComplX (May change in the near future however.) Ummm... I'm working on CWing it so, as soon as I get that done. I'll start posting new segements on a, most likely, irregular basis.
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: Avion: The Two Faced War

Postby Kyomen » Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:28 pm

Chapter 2: Acceptance


After some unknown amount of time, I regained consciousness somewhat. My head was throbbing much to my discontent. At that instant, I felt like I just woke up from a dream. I felt a bit of relief. I couldn’t quite make out my surroundings or even move much, but I already convinced myself what happened was merely a dream, an illusion of my own psyche. Bliss in the state of confusion is such an intriguing experience. Surprises hold meaning to me now that I recall this. They remind me that I was human at that time.

Anyway, after a few seconds my vision began to refocus. I was in a room wrought of steel, or something similar to it, and in a bed covered in white sheets. The walls and ceiling were chrome colored and the air tasted of rusted iron. A drop of water fell upon my face, split, and trickled down the sides of my face. I thought I’d been moved into a nearby infirmary after passing out in the throne room. (Oh, I passed out alright.) At least until I tightened my grip in my right hand.
I could feel the sword in my hand. I looked at the blade and sat up quickly. There was a black haired woman sitting at my bedside. There were also gunmen all around the room who, startled by my sudden movements, quickly took aim at me. I suddenly burst into an invisible cold sweat. I could hear the shaking of their guns.

For a brief moment, I stared down the barrel of one of their rifles with more curiosity than fear. I looked around the room only to find more chrome, gunmen, and the same two questions. I stared back at the black haired woman. She wore a nicely pressed sand yellow military uniform with the letters “L.I.G.H.T” printed on the right shoulder.
I looked at medal pinned to the left shoulder of the jacket. It was the military symbol for a General. Apparently they used the same military ranking we did in Ava. The black haired woman was looking into a folder labeled “Unknown Island Report (U.I.R)”. “Who are you?” I asked staring down the black haired woman. She didn’t answer and continued to read whatever was on the papers in the folder. “Who are you?” I repeated, slightly agitated. “It’s rude to ask someone’s name before introducing yourself” she said still staring into the folder.

“My name is Avion”

“General Asano Sanzaki” she replied slamming shut the folder. Asano crossed her legs and stared at me. “What are you?” Asano inquired.

“I’m human what else?” I said confused.

“Don’t screw with me” she said in a calm monotonous voice.

“It’s true”

“Humans can’t do what you do, now answer the question truthfully”

“I’m human!” I shouted sitting up in an irritated rage. The gunmen took steady aim once more out of surprise more and Asano held up her hand. The gunmen lowered their weapons. Asano sighed and shook her head, “Whatever you say Avion”

“Where am I? What do you want from me?”

“You’re in a L.I.G.H.T submarine on its way to Russian Artica”

“Russian Artica? What’re you talking about? There’s no Russian Artica in Ava?”

“Ava? There’s no such thing as place called Ava.”

“Yes there is! It’s where I’m from! It’s my home!”

“Well this is Earth. More specifically the pacific ocean” Asano leaned back in her chair and glared at me as if I was toying with her. I sighed, “You still haven’t answered my other question yet, Ms. Asano”

“Easy enough to answer. We want your power”

“What do you mean?”

“You took down one of the most powerful weapons in existence on your own, without any equipment what-so-ever. To men such as these, you’re a God amongst them after that display” she said as her open hand moved, following her men.

“I’m no God…”

“I know that, it’s obvious.” Asano leaned in a bit closer to whisper in my ear, “But they don’t” I looked around at the soldiers. They were staring at me in amazement as well as fear. I turned my attention back towards the black haired General. “We want to experiment on you and recreate your power within our soldiers” she said. The instant those words touched my ears I automatically replied no. “Well why not?” she asked. Back then, I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know why I was afraid. I didn’t really know how to take it, how to answer a question like that. I tried searching for an answer, but nothing came to mind other than, “Your men don’t need this curse, Madame.”
“That’s too bad. I was hoping that this would go a bit smoother. I guess we’ll just have to take it from you. I’m going to go refer to our medical examiner and my second in command. We’re going to get that power at any cost.” With those words, she stood up and left the room. Her men followed in a single file line.

I was still exhausted from my rampage. Paying no mind to what the future held, I fell asleep. Several hours passed before I was awoken to the sound of a deafening siren. “Yousive reached, docking completed.” a robotic voice said over the intercom. I realized that was my chance to escape capture. As I leapt out of bed, my head began to feel a bit hazy. I clutched it tightly. I could see myself dashing out of the room and being struck down by the two guards outside. The scenario replayed in my head, I managed to get past the guards only to be shot down by one around the corner. The vision ceased. I thought it might’ve been a blessing from Lilium, so I went with it. I sliced through the door only to duck down right as I passed through the doorway. The two officers shot each other.
I leapt from a crouching position to a sprint to my left. The second guard came right around the corner, rifle aimed and ready to fire. My timing had to be absolutely perfect. Dropping down, I slid across the chrome floor right as his finger pulled the trigger. His aim trailed behind me as I approached. I slid right underneath him and jumped up slashing horizontally through his torso. The soldier was torn in half. The once clean hallway became a bloody mess. My arm and face were sprayed with blood; yet, I paid no mind to it and continued to dash through the corridor. I could hear the footsteps of soldiers as I ran further and further away from the scene. They were all crowding around the fallen.

Luckily enough, the complex hallways were not hard to traverse because maps appeared at every intersection. I quickly made my way to the exit ladder and climbed up with haste. Once outside, I developed goose bumps. The air was cold and the metal I stood upon made my feet feel like they were going to turn into solid ice. Steam appeared and disappeared with each breath I took. Before me was a large city of metal. There was no sun. The clouds were a dark gray. It seemed like it would begin pouring at any moment, but it never did. My heart was racing, but I didn’t have time to comprehend the world around me; I had to flee. I hopped off the submarine and landed on the pier, where I made a dash for the closest alleyway.

There, in the shadows, I caught my breath. I stopped breathing for a moment as a horde of soldiers passed the alleyway in search of their prisoner. Once all had passed, I sighed in relief, but of course I wasn’t out of danger yet. Ca-Click. I closed my eyes and put my hands up. “You’re a slippery bastard, I’ll give you that” a female voice said from behind me. I turned my head to the left just a bit. “How’d you find me so fast?” I said in a calm and quiet voice.

“You left a small trail of blood in your escape”

Without moving my head, I looked at my sword. Small drops of blood fell from the tip occasionally. I lowered my head and smirked a bit. The woman lowered her weapon and holstered it. I turned around to stare Asano in the eyes. “What’re you doing?” I said in dumbfounded. “Persuading you to side with us” she responded. I shook my head and walked past her. “Where are you going?” she inquired. I stopped in my tracks. I had no idea where I was, what the area was like, or even where I’d be able to sleep if needed. “You won’t last a day out there on your own” she continued. “And what else am I to do?” I snapped.

“I can help you out”

“And how would you do that exactly Ms. General?”

“I know this city incredibly well. I know how to get things and how to move around in it. I can guide you.”

“And why exactly would you do that? Why would I even trust you?”

“Like I said, I’m going to persuade you, and your skull’s still intact isn’t it?”

“Fine… lead the way”
Asano took pressed something in her ear and began to speak, “Prisoner has escaped, calling off the search for now” She strolled forward, “C’mon” she said as she flicked her hand forward. We left the harbor undetected and were now out on the street. I looked at my surroundings. Everything was made out of some kind of metal; the buildings, the sidewalks, the roads, light posts, you name it. “We need to get you some clothes first.” Sanzaki said, staring straight ahead. I looked down and examined my clothes. One of my pant legs was burned off and the other burned in half. I was barefoot and half my shirt was gone. I felt rather embarrassed. Asano pointed forward and said, “There’s a store up at the next intersection, we’ll get some there”

As we approached the intersection before next, a police officer rounded the corner. We stopped in front of him and he looked at my weapon. “Sir, do you have a license for that thing?” he said. I didn’t exactly know how to answer him so I simply said no. “I’m going to have to confiscate that weapon then” the officer said holding out his hand. The people around us were staring intensely trying to figure out what was going on. I didn’t want to cause any kind of uproar or bring anymore attention to myself, so I handed the blade over. He tipped his hat and walked away and the bystanders went on their way. We continued down the street thinking nothing of the encounter.
At the next intersection, right outside the store, the sword randomly warped into my hand without as much as a peep. I looked back down the road and saw the officer looking around frantically for the confiscated weapon. I was shocked and relieved at the same time. Asano and I walked into the shop casually. She nudged me and looked at the sword. I tried to keep anyone from seeing it which was easier said than done.

The store was much larger on the inside than it appeared to be on the outside. It was wall to wall clothes. Signs hung from the ceiling marking where the men’s section and women’s section met. We veered off to the right into the men’s section where I picked out a nice black suit, black slacks, the classic red tie, black socks, and some comfortable black shoes. Asano left my side to go speak with the clerk for a moment. Meanwhile, I went to the changing rooms to switch into my new clothes. I left my burned clothes on as I put my fresh ones over them.
Leaving the changing room area, I looked at a black leather trench coat amongst a group of others. It looked like it’d keep me warm, so I pulled it off the rack and threw it over my shoulder. On my way to the register, I saw some black leather gloves. I picked them up and slipped them on. They fit perfectly. My hands were cozy inside them. They got added to the list as well. At the register, Asano was dressed in a new uniform. This one was a deep ocean blue. It was decorated with various medals on the breast pocket. The word “Sark” was sewn onto the right shoulder. I simply thought it to be a disguise and didn’t really question it.

I placed my clothes on the counter and Asano paid for them. “Thanks Mia” she said to the clerk as she pushed me out the door. Once outside, I put my glove on and threw on my trench coat. They did what I expected them to. I was pleased. It got much darker outside. “Come on, it’s getting late. We’d better check into a hotel or something” my travel partner said as we crossed the street.
Right across the street was a magnificent hotel that stood alone. No other buildings connected to it. It was tall and well lit. Above the entrance were the words: “The Oasis”. We walked in, checked in, went to our room, and settled in. Oh sure, the woman at the front desk gave us a bit of trouble about our weapons, but once she got a look at Asano’s uniform it wasn’t much of a problem.
The hotel room was extremely luxurious. A redwood table lie in the dead center and atop this table was a finely woven basket holding the plumpest fruit I’d ever seen in my life. There were delicious bright red apples, juicy oranges, ripe pears, and bananas colored like the sun. Against the northern wall, were king sized beds. Large white comforters covered them. Down pillows lay at the head. Opposite of the beds, was a huge flat screen in the wall. Next to the doorway was possibly the most well furnished bathroom I’d ever seen at the time. Completely made out of marble, this restroom literally illuminated.

White towels hung from the towel rack and the bathtub/shower had a circular tub with the shower head directly above. The curtains spread out in a full three-hundred-sixty degrees around the tub. And the sink, of course, flawless marble with a chrome faucet and handle. I stood there and gawked at my new surroundings. “Don’t get too comfortable, we’re leaving in the morning” Asano said as she took off her jacket.

I already knew why we were leaving the next day, so I removed my coat and hung it up in the closet near the entrance. I removed my new leather shoes and she took her boots off.
While she went to get into the shower, I plopped onto the bed not before sliding the sword underneath it. I could hear the shower head begin to spurt water. The room began to feel a bit muggy, so I unbuttoned my suit jacket and pulled it off. Then, I undid my shirt and threw it on the floor. I laid there sprawled on the white comforter with my forearm across my eyes. A nap was in order. Lying there, I thought about all the things that transpired that day. I thought of it as a break from routine and laughed quietly to myself trying to ignore what was really on my mind. After a couple of minutes, I fell asleep only to be awoken fifteen later by Asano’s voice.
“Hey, you awake?” she said quietly. “I am now” I mumbled quietly taking my forearm off my face. There she stood, soaking wet in a white towel. I looked at her chest and smirked a bit before looking at the ceiling, acting like I didn’t do a thing. “Not bad” I whispered to myself. She heard me, of course, pulled out a gun, and shot at me once, purposely missing. I wasn’t too moved by her reaction, so I simply looked up at her saying, “Let me remind you who the kidnapped is” Asano was blushing, but had an upset look on her face. “I’m the one with the gun” she said confidently.

“Mmhm…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You couldn’t take me if you wanted to. Not this close”

“Wanna try me?”

“By all means Ms. Asano.” I said sitting up on the bed. I could see the muscles in her hand tense up as she prepared to pull the trigger. By the time she pulled the trigger I was already behind her with my hand to her forehead. “How’d you-?” she said in surprise. I slid my hand down her arm and tapped on the back of her hand. “I can see how you tense up before pulling the trigger. Kings are trained in order to keep assassination counts as low as possible”

“King…?”

“King of Ava m’dear” I wasn’t sure if she believed me or not. Asano moved away from me like nothing happened, but I could feel a cold sweat break on her. “Go to sleep, we’re getting up early, OK?” she said, acting like I didn’t just have her life in the palm of my hand. I walked over to my bed and crawled in with nothing but a gentle smile on my face.
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: GodComplX

Postby Blood Lord » Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:30 am

And here I thought you died and went to a magical world.

Welcome back to Hell.
Snafu Gold Card Member!

offline
 
Posts: 18986
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:21 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: GodComplX

Postby Kyomen » Sun Jun 27, 2010 5:44 pm

Lol thank you very much. xD
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Re: GodComplX Ch.2 Finished (3 on the way)

Postby Kyomen » Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:59 am

By the way. For anyone who's read >_> If you'd like me to post ch. 4 (Because it's done) before I finish Ch.3. By all means, ask me.
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
User avatar
offline
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:33 pm
Gender: None specified

Previous

Return to Literature

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests