SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Mathias » Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:08 pm

Chocolate Hurricane wrote:Wait, I thought Calek was the aspiring writer.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
Srsly, there can be more than one.
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Re: PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper Chapter 1

Postby k_money516 » Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:24 pm

Sorry about earlier.
I was focused too much on the back-talk.
What I did like about Ch. 2, specifically, was near the end, when Blossom turned kinda badass, and damn near lashed out on Artemis, Jack, and Dexter.
And I DO encourage Reaper to continue.
Again, sorry...
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:57 pm

okay, with everyone's criticism, I will not be posting chapter 3 until i refine chapters one and two. I'll keep them posted on deviantart until i get enough comments to where i can return to this forum... And with my earlier blowup about the criticism, i apologize, it was just criticism and i made it a big deal, and thanks to BeeAre and Chocolate for breaking down my story to show me what i've done wrong, and i promise that my rewrites will restore Buttercup to her normal self... So for now i bid you all adieu. And if the moderators decide to lock this thread, I'll post links to the chapters displayed on Deviantart...

And again, thank you for the criticism, i'll just need to learn to take it in stride.. hehe
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby PunkyChipsAhoy » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:06 pm

If you want to keep your character the way he is then go ahead. Just make it into a Bleach fanfic and remove the PPGD characters. Then you'd have a kinda-ok story.
A Pimp Named Jeezy Creezy: Lasting all the way up to Valentine's.

And the Pimpeth lord sat amidst his real ballin' players, the Apostles, and raisingeth his cup of Cristal as they devoured the grapes and cheese from the finest bitches in town he said

"Sleepery Dee, Sleepery Doo.
Whoever betrays me tonight, I'll mo'fuckin' cap you!"
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:14 pm

ya, well, after recieving the criticism about how it was mostly my character, i might make it into a Bleach one and have the PPGs come in as like, guest stars or somethin
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:18 pm

by the way, for those wondering this is what he looks like. This is his Bankai form (Strongest form)

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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby PunkyChipsAhoy » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:22 pm

It's a good drawing. I agree it's not good enough for a web comic, but at the least know you draw better than many of the people here. And since most characters in Bleach are supposed to be teenagers and look in their 20's, yours should fit right in there.
A Pimp Named Jeezy Creezy: Lasting all the way up to Valentine's.

And the Pimpeth lord sat amidst his real ballin' players, the Apostles, and raisingeth his cup of Cristal as they devoured the grapes and cheese from the finest bitches in town he said

"Sleepery Dee, Sleepery Doo.
Whoever betrays me tonight, I'll mo'fuckin' cap you!"
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:25 pm

thanks :) I just wish there could be more people like you and K_Money to give more positive criticism.... Instead of picking everything apart like Chocolate did
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby PunkyChipsAhoy » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:32 pm

I'll give positive reinforcement when it is deserved. Since you have admitted that you received the criticism badly, and have decided to take heed about the advice concerning the rewriting of the comic, I have no reason to give harsh criticism since all the flaws I saw have been stated numerous times.
A Pimp Named Jeezy Creezy: Lasting all the way up to Valentine's.

And the Pimpeth lord sat amidst his real ballin' players, the Apostles, and raisingeth his cup of Cristal as they devoured the grapes and cheese from the finest bitches in town he said

"Sleepery Dee, Sleepery Doo.
Whoever betrays me tonight, I'll mo'fuckin' cap you!"
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Mirak's Mod Ghost » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:32 pm

Chocolate Hurricane's post made my day.
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:35 pm

thank you estrato. Well, it's off to Deviantart for me to rewrite this thing. If i can't pull off the PPGD thing i'll just completely redo the thing as a Bleach only
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Zelosse » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:20 am

Lawl! hey guys!
Instead of flaming a poor fucking noob let's do something practical with our time.

I'm gonna show YOU... how to make....

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First, you get 3 or 4 dozen eggs together in your hands, make sure that as you feel the texture you also get a good idea of weight and the wind that's blowing at this exact moment, essential for later steps. Now after you've gotten all this I want you to look at the person in this thread you hate the most (except me!) and think of what it would look like with gooey egg running down their face, with the broken shells clinging to their hair as they weep openly, good. Now grab a 6ounce piece of ham, prefferably cooked till lightly brown, although to preference is better, take a bite out of your ham to make sure it's not going to waste.

Final step is to slam them down on the object of person of your frustration, you should have, when finished, a large reddish mark from where your ham touched down, the warm juices burning flesh, while the cold eggs mess up their hair in a way most unpleasant.


Delicious~!
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby ChocolateHurricanex » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:47 am

Soulreaper2011 wrote:Instead of picking everything apart like Chocolate did


BR and Seir already posted the majority of the mistakes, all that was left to do was point out the minor ones and reinforce the major problems, such as a lack of explanations of your skill's, items and whatnot. And making Buttercup a Media whore, Slut, Mentally retarded and pansy.

Mir@k wrote:Chocolate Hurricane's post made my day.


I'm honored.

Blood Lord wrote:O.O

Holy shit. that's one hell of a post Chocolate.



Wait till I get bored and I'll do the second chapter as well.
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby k_money516 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:09 am

Soulreaper2011 wrote:by the way, for those wondering this is what he looks like. This is his Bankai form (Strongest form)

Image

The sword reminds me of something out of Kingdom Hearts 2
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Kusang_Manalo » Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:26 am

@Chocolate: You sir, had too much time in your hands

@Soulreaper: Read books more. It helps. Reading other's fanfiction's doesn't help for feces. You experienced the same dilemna when I was doing my own fanfics before... My friend you reviewd on my was like Beere--only worse. (I'm so glad I'm away from him, right now) so yea I know the feeling.

Pick up the pieces and, write read more :)_
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby ChocolateHurricanex » Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:29 am

It was around 3 in the morning. Hiryu bailed on me, nobody on skype to play with and nobody 'round here to chat so yeah. Had to do something.
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:45 pm

Oh, For those who complained about his name, i came up with a newer name. I really liked "Tyrax" So i just threw in a random surname. His new name will be

Tyrax Kabusawa
Last edited by Soulreaper2011 on Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby ChocolateHurricanex » Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:50 pm

Tyrax Kabusawa? For the love of God kid, stick with a motherfucking nationality. Or hell, if your going to call him Tyrax, at least make his surname that of a company as well.

http://www.tyrax.net/
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby k_money516 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:19 pm

Choc, you need to stop shitting on him, and let him be him, goddammit!
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby ChocolateHurricanex » Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:29 pm

k_money516 wrote:Choc, you need to stop shitting on him, and let him be him, goddammit!



Hey, if you want the kid to become another prodigy such as Stephenie Meyer, with her over-appreciated bullshit known as "Twilight", or another Tara Gilesbie, the writer of "My Immortal", knock yourself fucking out and hopefully never wake up again. Unlike you, I want to read some good stories for a change, not fucking bullshit about uber OC's that have 20 feet long dicks and an author that can't write for shit.

I want to read books such as those of Inazo Nitobe or Sven Hassle, not garbage.
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:34 pm

for your information, choc, i'm completely rewriting my fanfic i'm not even going to use the storyline i thought would work. I'm taking estratohorse's idea of making it into a Bleach fanfic with my OC as the main character....

And I can fucking name my OC whatever the hell i want. He's MY Creation. I've taken the advice to change his name, so if you don't like it, you can suck my Character's 20 foot long dick and get the fuck over yourself...

SoulRaper2011 wrote:I really liked "Tyrax" So i just threw in a random surname


Note: I said a "RANDOM" surname

And also, i hate Stephanie Meyer, I liked Twilight, but the writing style sucked, so, if you think i'm using her as inspiration, you need to pull your head out of your ass for ten minutes and decide that if my writing is shit, and you've told me, I've gotten the message....

Soulreaper2011 wrote:okay, with everyone's criticism, I will not be posting chapter 3 until i refine chapters one and two. I'll keep them posted on deviantart until i get enough comments to where i can return to this forum... And with my earlier blowup about the criticism, i apologize, it was just criticism and i made it a big deal, and thanks to BeeAre and Chocolate for breaking down my story to show me what i've done wrong, and i promise that my rewrites will restore Buttercup to her normal self... So for now i bid you all adieu. And if the moderators decide to lock this thread, I'll post links to the chapters displayed on Deviantart...

And again, thank you for the criticism, i'll just need to learn to take it in stride.. hehe




But scratch the comment about Buttercup... She won't even be in it anymore
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Blood Lord » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:05 pm

But scratch the comment about Buttercup... She won't even be in it anymore

Well. No need for me to come here then.
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:09 pm

Blood Lord wrote:Well. No need for me to come here then.



Because i'm making it into a Bleach Fanfic. But The PpG might come in one of the chapters, idk yet. I'm still doing my brainstorming
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby bleedmanfan1000 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:37 pm

i LOVE bleach and most people in the world do too!
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Re: SoulReaper2011=>PPGD: Enter the Soul Reaper=>Chapter 2 is Up

Postby Soulreaper2011 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:49 pm

bleedmanfan1000 wrote:i LOVE bleach and most people in the world do too!


Amen to that!! I haven't missed a single episode of the English DUBBed version ^_^
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