THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
Srsly, there can be more than one.

Sorry about earlier.
I was focused too much on the back-talk.
What I did like about Ch. 2, specifically, was near the end, when Blossom turned kinda badass, and damn near lashed out on Artemis, Jack, and Dexter.
And I DO encourage Reaper to continue.
Again, sorry...

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K_Money516... All Day Every Day

okay, with everyone's criticism, I will not be posting chapter 3 until i refine chapters one and two. I'll keep them posted on deviantart until i get enough comments to where i can return to this forum... And with my earlier blowup about the criticism, i apologize, it was just criticism and i made it a big deal, and thanks to BeeAre and Chocolate for breaking down my story to show me what i've done wrong, and i promise that my rewrites will restore Buttercup to her normal self... So for now i bid you all adieu. And if the moderators decide to lock this thread, I'll post links to the chapters displayed on Deviantart...

And again, thank you for the criticism, i'll just need to learn to take it in stride.. hehe

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If you want to keep your character the way he is then go ahead. Just make it into a Bleach fanfic and remove the PPGD characters. Then you'd have a kinda-ok story.

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A Pimp Named Jeezy Creezy: Lasting all the way up to Valentine's.

And the Pimpeth lord sat amidst his real ballin' players, the Apostles, and raisingeth his cup of Cristal as they devoured the grapes and cheese from the finest bitches in town he said

"Sleepery Dee, Sleepery Doo.
Whoever betrays me tonight, I'll mo'fuckin' cap you!"

ya, well, after recieving the criticism about how it was mostly my character, i might make it into a Bleach one and have the PPGs come in as like, guest stars or somethin

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by the way, for those wondering this is what he looks like. This is his Bankai form (Strongest form)

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It's a good drawing. I agree it's not good enough for a web comic, but at the least know you draw better than many of the people here. And since most characters in Bleach are supposed to be teenagers and look in their 20's, yours should fit right in there.

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A Pimp Named Jeezy Creezy: Lasting all the way up to Valentine's.

And the Pimpeth lord sat amidst his real ballin' players, the Apostles, and raisingeth his cup of Cristal as they devoured the grapes and cheese from the finest bitches in town he said

"Sleepery Dee, Sleepery Doo.
Whoever betrays me tonight, I'll mo'fuckin' cap you!"

thanks I just wish there could be more people like you and K_Money to give more positive criticism.... Instead of picking everything apart like Chocolate did

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I'll give positive reinforcement when it is deserved. Since you have admitted that you received the criticism badly, and have decided to take heed about the advice concerning the rewriting of the comic, I have no reason to give harsh criticism since all the flaws I saw have been stated numerous times.

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A Pimp Named Jeezy Creezy: Lasting all the way up to Valentine's.

And the Pimpeth lord sat amidst his real ballin' players, the Apostles, and raisingeth his cup of Cristal as they devoured the grapes and cheese from the finest bitches in town he said

"Sleepery Dee, Sleepery Doo.
Whoever betrays me tonight, I'll mo'fuckin' cap you!"

Chocolate Hurricane's post made my day.

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Patt-Ytto Productions | Dickwaffles

thank you estrato. Well, it's off to Deviantart for me to rewrite this thing. If i can't pull off the PPGD thing i'll just completely redo the thing as a Bleach only

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Lawl! hey guys!
Instead of flaming a poor fucking noob let's do something practical with our time.

I'm gonna show YOU... how to make....



First, you get 3 or 4 dozen eggs together in your hands, make sure that as you feel the texture you also get a good idea of weight and the wind that's blowing at this exact moment, essential for later steps. Now after you've gotten all this I want you to look at the person in this thread you hate the most (except me!) and think of what it would look like with gooey egg running down their face, with the broken shells clinging to their hair as they weep openly, good. Now grab a 6ounce piece of ham, prefferably cooked till lightly brown, although to preference is better, take a bite out of your ham to make sure it's not going to waste.

Final step is to slam them down on the object of person of your frustration, you should have, when finished, a large reddish mark from where your ham touched down, the warm juices burning flesh, while the cold eggs mess up their hair in a way most unpleasant.


Delicious~!

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BR and Seir already posted the majority of the mistakes, all that was left to do was point out the minor ones and reinforce the major problems, such as a lack of explanations of your skill's, items and whatnot. And making Buttercup a Media whore, Slut, Mentally retarded and pansy.



I'm honored.




Wait till I get bored and I'll do the second chapter as well.

The sword reminds me of something out of Kingdom Hearts 2

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K_Money516... All Day Every Day

@Chocolate: You sir, had too much time in your hands

@Soulreaper: Read books more. It helps. Reading other's fanfiction's doesn't help for feces. You experienced the same dilemna when I was doing my own fanfics before... My friend you reviewd on my was like Beere--only worse. (I'm so glad I'm away from him, right now) so yea I know the feeling.

Pick up the pieces and, write read more _

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It was around 3 in the morning. Hiryu bailed on me, nobody on skype to play with and nobody 'round here to chat so yeah. Had to do something.

Oh, For those who complained about his name, i came up with a newer name. I really liked "Tyrax" So i just threw in a random surname. His new name will be

Tyrax Kabusawa

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Tyrax Kabusawa? For the love of God kid, stick with a motherfucking nationality. Or hell, if your going to call him Tyrax, at least make his surname that of a company as well.

http://www.tyrax.net/

Choc, you need to stop shitting on him, and let him be him, goddammit!

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K_Money516... All Day Every Day

Hey, if you want the kid to become another prodigy such as Stephenie Meyer, with her over-appreciated bullshit known as "Twilight", or another Tara Gilesbie, the writer of "My Immortal", knock yourself fucking out and hopefully never wake up again. Unlike you, I want to read some good stories for a change, not fucking bullshit about uber OC's that have 20 feet long dicks and an author that can't write for shit.

I want to read books such as those of Inazo Nitobe or Sven Hassle, not garbage.

for your information, choc, i'm completely rewriting my fanfic i'm not even going to use the storyline i thought would work. I'm taking estratohorse's idea of making it into a Bleach fanfic with my OC as the main character....

And I can fucking name my OC whatever the hell i want. He's MY Creation. I've taken the advice to change his name, so if you don't like it, you can suck my Character's 20 foot long dick and get the fuck over yourself...



Note: I said a "RANDOM" surname

And also, i hate Stephanie Meyer, I liked Twilight, but the writing style sucked, so, if you think i'm using her as inspiration, you need to pull your head out of your ass for ten minutes and decide that if my writing is shit, and you've told me, I've gotten the message....





But scratch the comment about Buttercup... She won't even be in it anymore

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Well. No need for me to come here then.

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Stufflikehearts - He is a Sith Lord. I love Blood Lord :3
Jeffffey - Blood, you look at the information someone says, look over what really happened, and reply in a way that makes them realize what they were really thinking.
Mythrrinthael - Blood Lord, our local expert in interpretation of The Grim Tales from Down Below!
Fievel - Numerous campaigns and conquests, countless bodies decaying after the abandonment of victorious battlefields. Such is the life of Blood Lord.
Dusk_Imp - Blood Lord is like a celebrity here. Everything he does is pure awesome. ALL HAIL BLOOD LORD
Doctress Who - Why couldn't there be a Blood Lord in every forum? It would make life so much easier.
Snafu's Mercypostle.

Because i'm making it into a Bleach Fanfic. But The PpG might come in one of the chapters, idk yet. I'm still doing my brainstorming

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i LOVE bleach and most people in the world do too!

Amen to that!! I haven't missed a single episode of the English DUBBed version