Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: DEAD

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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 2.

Postby Blood Lord » Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:21 pm

This update has not been read, or even thoroughly looked at.

I will reread the next update, part 3 twice after it has returned from back to me.

Only one of them truly knows what grammar and spelling errors are looking for, the others are for content and to see if the story is good.

I am determined to get it right next time, which will be sometime next week. Perhaps shorter lengths will also help with that word problem.

I don't think Skul is even aware that I'm writing this.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 2.

Postby Blood Lord » Fri Apr 10, 2009 4:25 pm

Good news. I have part three done.

Bad news. I lost the thumb drive that held part three.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 2.

Postby Blood Lord » Tue May 19, 2009 5:30 pm

I found my drive, and it still had my story! Ohh happy days!

Here is part three.

Vaco awoke in a white hell. Winter’s chill cut though him to the bone, as he laid there on a pile of snow. He glanced around, finding himself wearing a strange red combat armor, adorned with an odd fur robe, and the smoking wreckage of a shuttle to the hill over. Over to his right he saw a vicious battle beginning to unfold. Ebbing pain shot though his side as he attempted to get up. Slowly he rolled over, and with great care he pushed himself up, and wandered over to the fight. Memories began to flood though his mind, as he began to remember the briefings, and the preparations the fleet had made before the Jedi arrived to help. This planet was engulfed in a civil war, and the Republic came to the planets aid. The Jedi were there to try to interrogate captured leaders…

Vaco paused as he thought about that last piece of recovered information. Yet he couldn’t remember the leading Jedi Master, and everything else was a blur…

What happened befor-

As if by a galactic force Vaco was suddenly thrown into the snow before him. He struggled to regain his footing, but found his body unresponsive, and his attacker gone. He tried to call out for help, but no one heeded his call. Glancing around at the battle, the fighting men, the rolling tanks of war, and the ships in the sky, faded into shadowed shapes. Confusion and alarm raced though Vaco’s body. He tried closing his eyes to rid himself of these images, but when he opened his eyes again, the landscape changed. Winter's icy coat melted away to show a dry desert, and then changed again to a city. The landscape continued to whiz by, mountains, forests, cities, grasslands, and hills, but the shadows continued to fight in the ever-changing world. The combatants of the massive battle slowly faded into dark shadows, and time crawled to a halt.

Confused by these events, he looked for a way to escape this hell, when his attention became forcefully riveted on one lone figure. With his Force senses he noticed that the figure seemed to be a Jedi, even though it was shadowed as the rest of the fighting troops. Out of nowhere he watched as other figures walked into the scene, spreading out around the “Jedi”, none of them were affected by the halting of time. Vaco counted their number to be about four. All of them were force users.

A fearful mixture of love and pain crawled up Vaco's spine, as he recognized the lone shadow by violet lightsaber that now extending down the right arm of the shadow, and her stance and great beauty stole his breath. Love and passion flowed though his soul, like a spring though a peaceful meadow. Her mere presence was enough to send him into a world of peace, a world with out care.
Yet this was severally diminished by the surrounding Sith.

“No, please not this...not her, not this” whispered Vaco in horror, as he realized what hand fate was about to play.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 3.

Postby Blood Lord » Tue May 26, 2009 3:57 pm

Well, I'm so happy about all the people posting about this.
It inspires me so much!
/sarcasm

Since I'll be leaving fo a week, I thought it might be a good idea to post part four. Although nobody really gives a damn about it. Bon appetit.

Heavy unseen chains bound Vaco where he had fallen, immobilizing, and preventing him from helping. To sit here and bare this, as his love fought for her life, and do nothing was unbearable. He shouted words of encouragement, and threats to the attackers. She fought valiantly, blade moving in brilliant performance and skill, but her defenses began to crumble.

Then it happened. Vaco felt his heart break as he saw a red blade pierce though her chest, but it didn’t end. Time rewound itself, and he saw her sliced in two, pushed of a cliff, choked to death, shocked by sith lighting, ripped from limb to limb, and slammed into the ground. Tears began to stream down his face as he watched her die in several different ways, shuddering violently with every blow that took her life. His heart braking as he felt her leaving touch though the Force. He found himself struggling to get to her body, fighting painfully against the unseen chains that bound him to the ground. With titanic effort, Vaco broke free from the chains, but could feel them trying to ensnare him again.

Vaco stumble like a drunk to where she laid dying, hand reached out as if to try and grasp her, but fell to his knees only a few inches away. His body tired and unresponsive, straining to keep upright where he fell. He looked up into her face, and started to sob uncontrollably. She looked back at him, eyes devoid of that spark of life, yet full of horror and the vain pleas for help. It was just too much for the Jedi to bear. Pain over her loss, pain over never being able to express his love to her trashed though him. Regret echoed from where his heart uses to be. Then anger filled the void. Anger towards himself for being to weak to defend his love, and undying hate towards those who killed her.

Without knowing, Vaco gave himself to the power of the dark side.
Last edited by Blood Lord on Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 3.

Postby Q.U. » Wed May 27, 2009 5:56 am

Well, I'm so happy about all the people posting about this.
It inspires me so much!
/sarcasm

You can see how people love you.
If you're posting a story for fame and recognition then you can go kill yourself thanks to this forum. I'm only posting things that I have no use of. Comments and raving for more is needles.

And of course, Vaco doesn't care about her. He just wants the cookies.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 4.

Postby Blood Lord » Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:42 pm

Part Five. Part Six will come sometime next week, and will finish chapter 1. Then the real story begins.


“I was so blasted close to ending this,” thought Maladen, as he reflected on the past few minutes. “If you did as I told you, Heldin…

It was going so simple at first. Victory was so close; this hellish day was so near to ending, yet the fool broke out of it. Some how Vaco broke free of Maladen’s Fear Grip. He launched himself at Heldin, who attempted to lunge at him, and impale him on her lightsaber, this however failed. Spectacularly. Vaco side-steeped the fatal lunge and gripped Heldin’s sword arm. With one motion, he brought the blade around and impaled Heldin on her own weapon.

Sharyll was next. He dived under her hastily swung lightsaber, and pitted the blade into her shoulder. This is where Maladen heard the blood curling scream, and turned to see what was going on…only to see a disc on orange spinning at him. He leaped into the air, as the burning blade passed under him with centimeters to spare. Maladen glanced up at Vaco and Sharyll as he landed, and watched with horror as Vaco plucked Shayll’s lightsaber from her, and brought it across her throat.

“Vaco. ENOUGH,” yelled Maladen over the dim roar of thunder. “Its over, you have won. Stop this now!”

“I-I won’t let you. I won’t let you harm her,” said Vaco, his voice cracking.

“Who?” questioned Maladen.

Vaco turned to face the Jedi, and at last Maladen understood what had happened. Vaco was stuck between reality, and the hell Maladen put him in.
Last edited by Blood Lord on Sat Aug 15, 2009 4:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Q.U. » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:55 pm

I imagined...

Anyway.

burning bladed pasted under him

Burning blade passed under him?
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Blood Lord » Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:37 pm

Q.U. wrote:I imagined...

Anyway.



Thank you?


burning bladed pasted under him

Q.U. wrote:Burning blade passed under him?

This has been happening to me a lot lately...
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Q.U. » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:16 pm

This has been happening to me a lot lately...

I'm assuming the native language is poking through.

And seeing as it takes you half a month to write a short update you ought to at least give us the honour of reading a work that had been pre-read at least twice. Because I can't believe you would have omitted that sort of a mistake with even one read.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Blood Lord » Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:54 pm

Your assumption is correct.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby FleshMeat » Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:59 pm

I am impressed. This has inspired me to start my own fan fic.
Monster - :3 I just like fucking with your brain meats.
Chocolate Hurricane - Never thought I'd agree with him.
Omicron - Even though everyone seems to hate flesh, gotta lol at his pictures.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby SharpPointyDeath » Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:56 pm

Eh, it's not THAT bad guys. And we DO care!! All hail Blood Lord, master of predictions!!

BTW: I'd be happy to be another beta, if you feel the need. PM me for my email if you decide to recruit me.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:59 pm

BTW: I'd be happy to be another beta, if you feel the need. PM me for my email if you decide to recruit me.


I may choose to call upon you, later of course. Thanks for the offer.
Eh, it's not THAT bad guys.

Will some one please tell me what is bad, so I can fix it?
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Q.U. » Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:45 pm

Will some one please tell me what is bad, so I can fix it?

Isn't that what betas are for?
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:47 pm

Q.U. wrote:
Will some one please tell me what is bad, so I can fix it?

Isn't that what betas are for?


Yes. They are.

What is bad with the current, already posted parts. Besides word misuse, and spelling errors.

I'm begging for negative feedback.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Princess » Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:25 am

Blood Lord wrote:I'm begging for negative feedback.

Seriously? Well... alright, here it comes.





















u sux.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars KOTOR Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Blood Lord » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:13 pm

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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Lord_Revan- » Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:36 pm

Muahahaha. Your apprentice is here milord. :twisted:
Last edited by Lord_Revan- on Tue Jul 28, 2009 4:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Q.U. » Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:36 pm

It's "apprentice".

And by the way, I'm only his apprentice. He is the old master of the bloody Dark Side.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Kyomen » Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:54 pm

*Thumbs up* :D
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Jasthn » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:45 pm

Go Blood. Good work with the story.
I GOT 'DEM HUMPS.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Blood Lord » Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:45 am

Holy shit, it came back to life!

Well then if I'm lucky, expect an update either during this weekend, or during Halloween.

If I'm not lucky, we are looking at sometime in November or December.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Kyomen » Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:37 pm

Well you'd better be lucky then, because I'll probably forget by november or december. x3
A forum post should be like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject material, but short enough to keep things interesting
-Kyo
When someone hits rock bottom, they usually say "No where to go but up". Right? Wrong! If you hit rock bottom hard enough you'll fall right into the mantle. If you live through that you'll hit the inner mantle. And through that the outter core. And still after that the inner core, but what comes next? You come out the other side. Those who hit rock bottom and act like they had it hard are just oblivious to the trip past that little safety net.
-Kyo
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Blood Lord » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:02 pm

I'll have Jasthn remind you.
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Re: Blood Lord: Star Wars Knight Fall: Chapter 1 Part 5.

Postby Jasthn » Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:07 am

Ill do my best to remind him lol

Because God and I both know I sometimes have trouble remebering things.
I GOT 'DEM HUMPS.
Doctress Who:You can be my Brony bitch ;D
Droctress Who:Jas, would you like me to make you a sandwich?
JesusChrist: Well if you insist Jasthn I'll use it with you. Spread them cheeks

Tragedy_and_Comedy: Jas is about as dangerous as a kitten.
Blood Lord:I hit your dog with mah truck. :3
Lenore Celestalis:*jumps on your back* weee~
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