Blood Lord: Legions of the Empire. (Original Story. Rated R)

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Blood Lord: Legions of the Empire. (Original Story. Rated R)

Postby Guardian » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:01 am

2089. Humanity has broken past its restraints of the planet known as Earth. They reached towards the heavens and began to colonize the moon, and the red planet Mars. Years passed, and peace reigned. Sometime later humanity developed the capability to extend past its own solar system. We don't know too much after this, but from what we do have, we know that the nations of Earth untied together at this time and became a galactic power. They called themselves the United Earth Dominion (UED). With many new technological advances, and the increasing ability to terra-form planets they set out and began to creep across the galaxy. During this time was nothing but peace. The united idea of driving onward, and inhabiting planet after planet, system after system, drove them on.

Its after this when everything becomes fuzzy...

Sometime after the entire galaxy had been explored and settle was still thriving, war and the rumors of war spread out. Soon, a couple brush fires grew into a terrible civil war that engulfed the UED. It was bloody, billions died, we lost hundreds of years of progression, and some how in the height of it, we lost it. We lost our home. We lost, we forgot, the location of our home world. We lost Earth. Still, the fighting raged for many more years, but eventually cooled down into an unfamiliar age of peace.

Its now 2711. The remains of humanity are struggling to regain what they have lost. There are now three major fractions that are now in power, and at least a dozen minor ones. All of them are fighting for the crown of power, for knowledge, for the location of Earth and of her secrets...


Contents:

Disclaimer:

Content and the rating:
Last edited by Guardian on Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Fievel » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:07 am

Usually, it's tough to make an opinion on things when there's not very much, but I like it, especially your style. I saw only one error, and that was in spelling, so I don't think I'll be a grammar nazi this time. Looking forward to more, as I love Sci-Fi.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Doctress Who » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:17 am

From the prologue you've got here, this looks like it'll be interesting. A future where Earth has become like Atlantis...? A very interesting take on the future.

I noticed one or two mistakes ("Its" should be "It's" on the second paragraph), but nothing major that would interrupt the flow of the story. (And I'm no grammar nazi, usually.)
This looks good so far.
I agree with Fie - love Sci-fi, generally speaking. Although, I guess that was a bit obvious.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Mathias » Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:55 pm

I see what you did, BL: you had the previous thread locked so that you could devote a new thread to this piece.

I like that.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Spoopy Princess » Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:23 pm

Oh shit, Blood's back.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Guardian » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:01 pm

Fievel wrote:Usually, it's tough to make an opinion on things when there's not very much,

I know. This was going to be longer, but it wasn't. It was meant to incorporate background information so I didn't have to explain it in the story... But things happened.

Doctress Who wrote:A future where Earth has become like Atlantis...?

Pretty much. Your missing a little bit, but that is the general idea.

Mathias wrote:I see what you did, BL: you had the previous thread locked so that you could devote a new thread to this piece.

I like that.

Yeah. I loved doing the Star Wars one, but I wanted to do this. But the rules said you couldn't have more than one story thread, and I could see no way around it.

Stufflikehearts wrote:Oh shit, Blood's back.

Yes, I am. Fear me and such.


I hope to post the first part of the story by Saturday night, or Sunday. I'm in finals right now. This story has been in progress since my sophomore year of High School. But I changed the main charactr and it fucked the entire first five-six chapters up.

I also hope to set an art thread up to help support this story, but I need to figure out how to use my damn scanner.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Tragedy_and_Comedy » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:17 pm

This kinda reminds me of a show my parents used to watch. Battle star something, I think.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Guardian » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:31 pm

Battlestar Galactica. Good show... for a while.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Tragedy_and_Comedy » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:35 pm

Never saw it.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Spoopy Princess » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:36 pm

Saw an episode... meh.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Higarashi » Fri Jan 01, 2010 2:08 am

Read the prologue, and it sounds interesting. The prologue kinda makes me want to read the next chapter since it's interesting enough, though I probably don't have a right to say this. Anyways, good luck with the rest of it man.

No, no, I mean it. Good luck with it. Seems well thought out compared to what I've attempted to write XD.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Kharsi » Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:12 am

UED I think is Starcraft. Good work here. Minor mistakes, but they've been pointed out.
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Re: Blood Lord: ???

Postby Guardian » Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:35 pm

United Earth Directorate is Starcraft. Which is more of a military organization. Mine share's similar location (Earth) and acronym only.

Saw an episode... meh.

Battlestar was good for a while, but I lost taste for it after everyone was a Cylon and the dead don't stay that way.
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Re: Blood Lord: Legions of the Empire. (Original Story. Rated R)

Postby Guardian » Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:04 pm

I hope to get the first chapter, or prologue up by Friday. I've got about five different ways to start this story, and I'm having one helluva a time trying to decide which method is the best to proceed. That, and a writer's block from hell is preventing any updating, but once it starts hopefully I can update at least once a week on this.
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