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A Model's Diary!:Ingrid Lavinge:Translated by Tsunade:Comedy

Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:39 pm

Made by Ingrid Lavinge. Translated by muah! I hope you like it


A lot of people had asking me why I chose to be a model, well everything started when I was born, I didn’t cry, the doctor hit me, still I don’t know why, is it because I was too fat? Well anyway I don’t think is it nothing that it can’t be fix with surgery. Then in school I figured out my profession when my teacher asked me, what color is the white horse of Bolivar? I answered green, thanks to my intelligence and cunning that it has always accompanying me it was the teacher that deduced and told me: “This girl is going to be a model because to be dumb she paints herself alone” those tender words of breath marked…………….ahh, I forgot what I was writing, I’ll keep tomorrow if I remember.


Today I discovered that we aren’t on 2005 just in 2006, a calendar told me, I remember what I was talking about, about how I became a model, later a couple of friends of the school asked me “why the chicken crossed the street? I really didn’t understand the question but with my magnificent intelligence I tried to answer the right answer and said how? Isn’t the chicken and the street two different species? How they’re going to cross themselves? My friends looked at me and said “This girl needs brain…” later when I graduated I presented myself in a lot of universities but in no university neither in no faculty I approved, don’t know why, if I was one of the most intelligent students in my school, although I don’t know why my parents consigned money to the teachers so often… tomorrow I’ll keep my story I have to go to an implant of silicone in my butts, this is gonna be, for now the 30th surgery of my life among breasts, nose etc…that yes all my surgery had been of esthetics.


New Year is coming soon!! Yay!!! I asked santa a brain, don’t know what is going to be but everyone had told me I need one, well when I was choosing my career I had a divine apparition, I saw a yellow light and I heard a voice telling me “school of models, become a professional model in 2 years, learn elegance in the gateways, more information in the three ninty-four seven ceros two one” immediately I wrote 94 94 94 0000000 1 1 and I didn’t know why they didn’t answered, in the next year I understood that the apparition was a flashlight that I turned it on accidentally in my face and the voice was the tv on and they told me that the number wasn’t 94 94 94 0000000 1 1 but 394 70 21, I remember that when they answered said: “Good Morning, model’s academy how can I help you?” I said: “Oh! I don’t know I forgot for what I was calling” they said: “you were calling for entering the model’s academy and for what I see you’re going to be an excellent model” I didn’t notice in the wise of his comments and I said: yes, is true, I call because I want to be a model” I don’t remember more, later I remember when I graduate but that I’ll tell you later today I have to eat my lettuce daily with my glass of water.


New Year is coming soon! And with him, in Valentine’s Day, I wonder what my boyfriends is going to give me…….umm….. I don’t remember his name….. later I’ll ask my representative what was his name, well, I’ll keep telling you my life’s story, when I graduate a “gringo” hired me, I remember when I met him still me being the model’s agency we fell and he said: “oh, sorry” and I said: “zorry? Your grandma! We fell and on top of that he treats me like a no one it was when the manager of the agency, the “gringo” don’t know why, but too “zorra” and all I seemed to him but he hired me and he brought me to U.S I still have that job, although I remember that I went once to Cancun and I got lost, so while they find me I took a part time job in a drugstore, they tell me to speak in English because a lot of “gringos” comes there but I only last 5 minutes, they fired me, I remember that a client came and asked “¿hay ampolletas?” and I said “welcome mister polletas I’m Natalia” I remember the owner said that I needed a brain, I still don’t know what it is and I don’t know why people keep telling me that well at least the farmacy was in front of the hotel and they found me fast, well that’s the story of my career as a model.
"gringos"= those are the people who just talk English
"zorra"= that means a bi***
"zorry"= for her is like a diminutive of "zorra" so she thought the guy insulted her.
"¿hay ampolletas?"= if you read it, it sound like it's saying "hi I'm polletas"


Today I learned that the months bring among 30 and 31 days so I don’t know what day is today neither what was yesterday, I’m looking in the libre.com to see if they have brains but they don’t have neither in remate.com I have intrigue on knowing what are those so called brains that had been saying to me all my life, today too I learned that water wets fire burns and if you put a holder in an electrical socket you electrocute yourself and I don’t know why but when I hit myself in the head it sounds like it’s hollow, well I don’t know, later someone will tell why, although when I ask someone what are brains they tell that that’s a subject too advanced for me I think I have to wait for learning, meanwhile I’ll consult about the great hidden gift of the human raise “the intelligence” people had told me that I don’t have, although I really don’t know what exactly is intelligence but I’m ok me being 90 60 90(906.090 kilograms of silicone distributed in lips, breasts and butts).
hollow= I don't know if I used the right word but is supposed to mean that it doesn't have anything.

Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:18 pm

it seems nobody likes it...
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