darkshark: My poem vent: G: Original

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darkshark: My poem vent: G: Original

Postby darkshark » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:51 pm

All right, everyone, first thing here is a poem. The rhymes are kinda lame and basic, and sometimes there are none, but whatever. Hope you like it, and if you don't, I am accepting criticims:


Darkness in the early morning, when I'm not in a good mood,
Light at ten, while I have a good attitude.

Cold in the early morning, to fit rainy days,
Warm at noon, with maybe a little haze.

Groggy in the early morning, my dominant feeling
Alert in the afternoon, feel like I can touch the ceiling

Shower in the early morning to wake me up
Sweat in the evening, to tire me out.

Wake up in the early morning, feels like a rebirth
Go to sleep in the night, hopefully the day had earned its worth.
Last edited by darkshark on Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:19 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby whispersoul » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:56 pm

All right.
The title of the thread should be changed. Depends on what you wrote and of what literature you created.

Other information should be in the Rule section. Just follow the rules, and nobody gets hurt. ^_^

Oh yeah, I like the poem. Criticisms...? Bah.
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Alfimi - *sighs*....things i have to do *corners whisper against the wall* *unbutons shirt**flashes**butons shirt up again* there, enjoy your hearty.
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Re: First time here

Postby darkshark » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:58 pm

Duh(to myself)! Forgot to read the rules. My bad, I'll just fix that now.
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Postby whispersoul » Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:00 pm

Please do, and Thank you ^_^
I saw Griddles somewhere... Well, at least it's less work for the chum.

Really, I like the way you write poetry. But, since this is a forum, Follow the rules. You'll be safe when guided ;)
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McDurg- I dunno' whispaho, I've seen some pretty hot things in my life. Like myself. I masturbate to my own image every day. :D Naw. How about all three of us combine, in the form of a sexy Godzilla? We would totally fuck Mothra.
Alfimi - *sighs*....things i have to do *corners whisper against the wall* *unbutons shirt**flashes**butons shirt up again* there, enjoy your hearty.
Coos - Whisper's a bitch. :D
Malumultimus - Whisper...you are my favorite worshipper.
Mal again - Nyaaaa~
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Postby GridsNaranek » Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:01 pm

You've already told him what to do, so I'll stick around and make sure he does it. I take it you meant 'chum' in a good way?
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Postby whispersoul » Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:03 pm

Of course. Why would I be negative?

I only want some newcomers here in the Lit Forum to understand the Rules you guys applied. It's a simple matter of respect, neh?
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McDurg- I dunno' whispaho, I've seen some pretty hot things in my life. Like myself. I masturbate to my own image every day. :D Naw. How about all three of us combine, in the form of a sexy Godzilla? We would totally fuck Mothra.
Alfimi - *sighs*....things i have to do *corners whisper against the wall* *unbutons shirt**flashes**butons shirt up again* there, enjoy your hearty.
Coos - Whisper's a bitch. :D
Malumultimus - Whisper...you are my favorite worshipper.
Mal again - Nyaaaa~
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Re: First time here

Postby darkshark » Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:09 pm

I read the rules, but I have a few questions: the title rules apply to all works, right? Because I didn't find anything specific about poems. And, if so, how should I rate mine? There's really nothing questionable, so G?

Added after 3 minutes:

Take that as a yes to both.
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Postby whispersoul » Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:13 pm

The title goes like this;

whispersoul25 wrote:Whispersoul's Poetry: 'Inspired, OMG!'


'Inspired, OMG' is the title of What I wrote. Stories have such different titles, so you don't have to worry about it. Since that a Story has some updates, meaning to say that Updates will also be in the thread.



For the rating, well, It depends. I don't know why you should worry about that.


I think I didn't make this clear. Please just read the rules. *is dizzy*

Added after 1 minutes:

Ok, there you go.
Gambate~ ;)
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McDurg- I dunno' whispaho, I've seen some pretty hot things in my life. Like myself. I masturbate to my own image every day. :D Naw. How about all three of us combine, in the form of a sexy Godzilla? We would totally fuck Mothra.
Alfimi - *sighs*....things i have to do *corners whisper against the wall* *unbutons shirt**flashes**butons shirt up again* there, enjoy your hearty.
Coos - Whisper's a bitch. :D
Malumultimus - Whisper...you are my favorite worshipper.
Mal again - Nyaaaa~
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Re: darkshark: My poem vent

Postby darkshark » Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:31 pm

I read the rules, but, like I said, I didn't find anything specific on poems, so I went with the title rules that Cole had put, which included rating and title. I plan on putting new poems here, so i just used the title 'My poems'. I get it now that you put an example up, though, so I will fix this.

Added after 15 minutes:

Done, and thank you for your nice comments and helpful posts, whisper.
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Re: darkshark: My poem vent

Postby darkshark » Sun Dec 02, 2007 11:51 am

I almost forgot (although it doesn't really matter, since no one seems to be posting), since this is a poem VENT, I'm only gonna put poems here when I think of one worthy of the Snafu literature forum.
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Postby Tuor » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:19 pm

Rule three of the Literature Forum:
All threads will begin: Poster's Name, Title of Work, Rating, Fanfic or Orig.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: darkshark: My poem vent

Postby darkshark » Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:18 pm

We've been over this, if you will kindly read the other posts, but I guess I need to fix. Gotta respect the regulars, after all.
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Re: darkshark: My poem vent: G: Original

Postby darkshark » Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:08 pm

All right, I've decided to A), come back here because I need somewhere to vent my emo-ish poetry that's been spewing out of my mind lately, and B), bring up my old poem vent, because I like reusing stuff. So excuse the emo, there has just been some shit going down that I need to let out.

Didn't Know

Didn't know,
that I lived such a sheltered life.
Didn't know,
that my family was a train wreck.
Didn't know,
that my parents fought so much.
Didn't know,
that they got so bad, they needed time away.
Didn't know,
that my school life sucked so bad.
Didn't know,
that my friends were jerks.
Didn't know,
that my life actually blows.
Didn't know,
that things would get so bad,
That I would contemplate,
The end.
I didn't know
I just didn't know....
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