Across the Dreams and through Fantasy - On Hiatus

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Postby Aeris » Sun Jun 04, 2006 5:31 am

Sorry got some exams, and Book II is actually going to be a bit... Well, I might do some side stories before^^
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Re: Across the Dreams and through Fantasy (Chapter X)

Postby Leon FlameBurst » Sun Jun 04, 2006 5:32 am

I can wait, don't worry, Aeris.
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Postby APE » Sun Jun 04, 2006 5:38 am

Aeris wrote:Sorry got some exams, and Book II is actually going to be a bit... Well, I might do some side stories before^^

screw exams, i'll cach on fire if it doesn't get out soon
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Re: Across the Dreams and through Fantasy (Chapter X)

Postby Aeris » Sun Jun 04, 2006 9:19 am

//Very short side story that I wondered if I wasn't going to delete...//

Short Side Story: Sweet Night

Moon was almost full, and shining stars filled the darken sky. Had ever been a night so beautiful? Lost in a dreamlike state, the young adolescent's gaze went back and forth into the charming sky. Did they have a name? What did they mean? And how long did he wait for such a view? He felt magic tingling through his veins, although he was no wizard or priest. The young man did not even worship any deities. Chilly breezes were flowing in the air, but the lad didn't seem to be affected by coldness. Only wearing his casual white shirt, the unmerciful bites of the wind did not leave him alone for long. A slight shrug had the shivers dismissed, though. Pretty night. Yep, definitely pretty.

But then went on the shrieks of some madman, answered by his drunken companions in every part of the town. His first thought was to go and bash the stupid man's head off. How could someone break his idleness like that? So rude of them. Running with graceful and silent strides, he soon was near enough to understand the spoken words. Monsters? His head slightly twisted at that notion, wondering why monsters did unnerve the usually calm soldiers so badly. Leaving the town? Even worse than he thought. Why? That was definitely the question for which he needed an answer. Down went the young adolescent, landing without a sound on the hard ground.

Since when did the army become defeatist lot?
He asked sarcastically.

Obviously not pleased to be interrupted in his speech, the soldier cast him a cold stare before resuming his talk. He soon came to regret his act though, as a silver appeared in the blink of an eye under his chin.

Question?
The young lad asked happily.

Half of our force is gone! We are outnumbered at least ten to one! We cannot hope to defend the town! The soldier quickly answered, his gaze never lifting from the weapon.

Alright
, said the young man while removing his weapon from the soldier's throat.

See? If you had been polite, such a thing would never had happened
, he mused while patting the warrior's back.

And he was gone.

So… They had to leave the town. That sucked. Gathering his own belongings, which weren't that numerous, since he lived in secrecy on the various roofs of the city, the young lad was gone soon enough. But this time, under the disguise of a human child, who had seen no more than six winters or so. He didn't wanted to be called to help anyone, for he knew every man would be needed. No more a man, but a child. How convenient. As he crossed the enormous eastern doors of the town, no one moved to stop him. The disguise was perfect.
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Postby APE » Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:30 am

how do you write like this, your like, brilliant...
i'd say you were Tolkien or something, if you weren't a girl, and only 16...
the plot is well thought through, you mannage to show everyones point of view, just plain brillian!!

oh and thanks for not letting me catch on fire ^_^
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Postby Mirak's Mod Ghost » Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:56 am

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Postby Aeris » Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:35 am

Thanks so much APE :'(
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Postby APE » Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:23 am

Aeris wrote:Thanks so much APE :'(

your welcome, but seriously: just looking at what you have written, i think this is the best fic of the fans (did that sentence make sence)

what i miss though is a bit more with the ppg, even though, you use their personalities quite well it would be nice to se them you know fight of the monsters or something...

thats all i can think of... this story is so great

Added after 24 seconds:

btw, why were you crying?
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Postby Darkness_calls » Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:26 am

She is always crying lol

Greatness ^_^
This fic has that special place in my heartS. getting there is hard so take that as an honor ;)
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Postby APE » Tue Jun 06, 2006 1:05 pm

Darkness_calls wrote:She is always crying lol

Greatness ^_^
This fic has that special place in my heartS. getting there is hard so take that as an honor ;)

totally agreed
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Re: Across the Dreams and through Fantasy (Chapter X)

Postby Aeris » Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:14 am

//FINALLY! I doubt this chapter is a good as the others, though, for I had little inspiration over this one. Anyway, here it comes. And do not worry, there will be battles later on//


BOOK II - WILDERNESS


Chapter XI – Exodus


About one thousand people were now fleeing advancing army, half more securing the troop's tail. Although they were slower than the coming tide, they fully expected to reach the security of Mithral Hall without having to fight, for the place was less than two days of march from the city. Badly outnumbered and with wives and children to defend, having to battle was the least of their wishes.

Night had gone. Already did Aeris feel sheer exhaustion numb her legs, as did many others. Blossom also seemed tired, and although Buttercup wouldn't admit it, she would have gratefully stop the continual pace. Even Bubbles, who had only waken up since two hours or so, was growing weary of the march. Hopefully, horses were brought to the weakest ones by soldiers, and soon the four of them were riding on a handsome black stallion.

Coldness slowly disappeared from the air as soon as the sun went on his daily routine. More than one had already dozed off on their mount, and soldiers went back and forth to see that no one would fall on the ground. The young woman fought hard to keep her eyes opened. No adept to horse-riding, she clearly doubted her ability to stay on the horse if she was to fall asleep. Blossom had already rejoined dreamworld, Buttercup was gazing upon the grand wilderness with curiosity and interest, and Bubbles was patting playfully the steed's neck.

Midday. At last, the marching mass was allowed a rest. Some literal fell asleep from their mount. Food was distributed, Aeris refused her ration, since her bag was full of provisions. She would soon regret her generosity.

Late afternoon. Again she was riding the black stallion, Shadow, as Bubbles called him. She did not ask her if she knew the horse's true name or just invented it. The young woman was beyond the real world. Something was amiss. Imagination? Anxiety? No…

Twilight. As Aeris watched the sun disappear, she felt as if she would never see it again. Her heart sore, her mind ached, everything was wrong! Wrong! Her hands were trembling, she felt flesh burning, droplets of sweat flowed from her delicate skin. Fire. Fire! Her whole body was consumed! Light was diminishing, the few inches which separated her from her daughters seemed like miles. Their anxious cries were no more than wind's secretive murmurs. Her vision blurred. She dropped to the ground.

***

Eh. EH!


Wh… What?

At last. I thought you would never wake up.

The soothing voice seemed vaguely familiar. However, in the impeding darkness, she could not recognize the speaker.

What happened? She curiously asked.

A bright flash of light exploded in her mind. Dazed and pained, she fell to the ground.

Ouch…

Let her rest…
She heard a melodic and gentle voice address the previous speaker.

Time, Rim. Time… We lack of time
, said the boy, concerned.

The… The children? Aeris managed to ask.

They are sleeping, don't worry, answered the voice gently.

That was the only thing the young mother needed to hear. Her consciousness fell once again in the dark oblivion.

***

Dawn. Opening her eyes to see the sunrise, the young woman already felt much better. She tried to rise, but stopped as soon as she realized that her daughters were holding her and still asleep. Where were the others…? Sleeping too…

Awake?

She glanced at the speaker.

Wait… I know you… Lélio!

I'm glad you still remember me.

You healed me?

Nah
, said the boy, shaking his head.

Rim did.

He pointed a young blond elf, sleeping no more than five feet from her.

Oh… Is Mithral Hall in sight?

Mithral Hall's East door
, the young lad corrected.

No more than one hour, and your gazes will witness its imposing door.

Your gazes?

I'm not going East. I plan on going North.

Why that?

When one and a half thousand people go towards a city, we should inform the city before their arrival, right?

That's right.

What if the guys sent did not return?

Wait… Are you telling me…

Exactly. I'm thinking Mithral Hall's route is cut.

Then why didn't the soldiers tell us?

When one and a half thousand people are told that they have nowhere to go, what do you think would happen?

The young girl began to understand where Lélio was leading her. She looked upon the sleeping citizens, wondering what future was left for them.


I cannot risk to try North before I am sure that Mithral Hall is inaccessible.

That's your choice.

But… Why North?

Here, let me show you.

He quickly sketched a rough map on the ground.

East, Mithral Hall. West, Amandine. North, the mountains. South, the Evermoors.

Why not try South in that case?

Trust me, the Evermoors are the last place you want to cross. The mountains may hold many beasts, but numerous are its caverns and tunnels. One can hope to find his way to Mithral Hall through the mountains.

And how will you find the way?

I trust my instinct. It never failed me before.

She looked at the adolescent, unsure.

I'm leaving in one hour. By the time, the march should resume.

And he left Aeris weighting the odds.
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Postby Darkness_calls » Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:26 am

Greatness ^_^

I'm now giving score to all fics I read along, and here are your scores (up to this point in the fic);

Drama: 4/5
Action: 2/5
Comedy: 3/5
Describtion: 5/5
Character Development: 5/5

Overall scores: 9/10
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Postby APE » Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:32 pm

thats a good idea DC...

but i don't completely agree with your score for character development, since i think that it was mainly Lélio that told what he was gonna do...
i would say 4/5 instead, but if you look at the plot, the plots development would be 5/5...

and also you should have a "fic-total score" so the author can see if this new chapter is a low or a high, thus learning what the audience wants ;)

Added after 56 seconds:

and yes it is still brilliant aeris...
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