archrival fanfic: the uknown hero

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Postby Emerald Emblem » Tue May 23, 2006 1:25 pm

This is good but not great
some things are good but others aren't
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Postby Archrival » Tue May 23, 2006 1:28 pm

i wanna know wat makes it good is it the plot, the way i write it, the charecters WAT IS IT?????
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SUPPPAAAHHH
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Postby Emerald Emblem » Tue May 23, 2006 1:32 pm

Biggest floor for me is the way you write
you sort of copied my blade hand idea
I say everything else is allright though
could have used a good descriptive fight but you've explained your reasons so don't remind me
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Postby Frostmork » Tue May 23, 2006 1:33 pm

The only thing I can actually say is wrong is that
Talk
Talk
Talk
Maybe some action but mostly talk
Talk
Talk
Action...Wrong!Talk
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Postby Darkness_calls » Tue May 23, 2006 2:26 pm

Your style is called scribt writing. Its not bad, especially if you can imagine everything like I do. But yes describe and write more actions. You see Shadowed State of Mind began with a simple scribt writing but as he progressed he went more and more into describtions and actions.

Else, I like the plot and the character you've created. Keep it up and You will come trhough ^_^
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Postby Nyvyan » Tue May 23, 2006 3:01 pm

Yey you finally updated (after some pressure).
I agree with most of these people, plot and characters are good, I can imagine whats going on but u need some more desciptions to be more precise.

But other than that its good!!
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Fenix13- Now see, that is a prime example of how people in other RP's should be. Bravo Nyvyan, You are the shining symbol of what awesome should be.- Oh yeah, I'm awesome!
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Postby Timer » Wed May 24, 2006 12:29 pm

dude i can help, send me the fics before you post them and ill have a look if you want
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Postby Archrival » Wed May 24, 2006 12:38 pm

kk thnx wall
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Postby Timer » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:13 pm

you updating soon arch ?
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