archrival fanfic: the uknown hero

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archrival fanfic: the uknown hero

Postby Archrival » Tue May 09, 2006 2:35 pm

Chapter one
Narrator: With every city there's always someone to watch over it, this is the tale of the unknown hero, he watches over a small uknown city in the U.S.A, the hero in question is called Archrival. He stands at the top of a skyscraper eating chips, his glowing black eyes watching pedestrians walk past each over in their frivolous little lives, he catches a thought of why he is in this world and sheds a single black tear for that thought. but suddenly something catches his eye, a robbery only a small one, two thugs robbing a young lady of her handbag in an alleyway, he throws away his chips and it hits someone on the head, he jumps down the skyscraper to the thugs.
Archrival: Leave that lady alone
Thug1: Get lost bo-zo
Thug2: Yeah get lost
Archrival: I suggest tht you leave her alone
Thug1: Listen creap just for butting in me and by college here are gonna knife you up good
Narrator: And so an easily dealt struggle began, the thugs came at archrival and tries to stab him but he blurrs away and the knifes go straight through where he stood, the thugs were shocked as he reappeared behind them and snapped both their necks at the same time, he turns around to find the lady cowering near some trash, he flicks back his black trench coat and rakes back his blond hair.
Archrival: Are you all right?
Lady: Get away from me
Narrator: She quickly grabs back her handbag from him and runs into the crowded street leaving our poor unknown hero to go back to his unknown apartment in an unknown block in an anonymous part of town
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Postby Emerald Emblem » Tue May 09, 2006 2:45 pm

Well
Interesting
very interesting
keep going
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Postby Frostmork » Tue May 09, 2006 2:51 pm

Weird but good.
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Postby Archrival » Tue May 09, 2006 2:59 pm

this is my first one so it might be a bit noobis
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Postby Comic Kitten » Tue May 09, 2006 3:01 pm

Very strange, but so am I, so I like it! ^_^
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Hmm
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Postby Archrival » Tue May 09, 2006 3:05 pm

shall i carry on?
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Postby Emerald Emblem » Tue May 09, 2006 3:32 pm

PPGD Fan wrote:Well
Interesting
very interesting
keep going

that is my answer ^_^
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Postby Archrival » Tue May 09, 2006 3:34 pm

ill take tht as a yes:)
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Postby confused » Tue May 09, 2006 3:35 pm

I say yes too, pal!
Urgh, it's too dark around here...
*puts on glasses*
Ah, that's better!
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Postby Archrival » Tue May 09, 2006 3:37 pm

yay people like it
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Postby Darkness_calls » Tue May 09, 2006 3:41 pm

It has the story feeling :P
Good, Keep going ^_^
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Postby Archrival » Tue May 09, 2006 3:42 pm

yay more pple
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Re: archrival fanfic: the uknown hero

Postby Archrival » Wed May 10, 2006 9:18 am

Chapter 1
Part 2: the big headed boy
Narrator: our uknown hero sits on his couch and thinks of what happened in the alleyway why was the woman scared of him, when he was only trying to help he shakes his head and turns on the T.V the local news comes on.
Reporter: We are here live with american lottery winner Zim, Zim how do you feel about winning the lottery.
Zim: I knew i'd win, I AM ZIM!!!!!
Young boy: He's not human he's an alien sent here to take over our planet!!!!
Zim: Poor crazy Dib i'm 100% human yes I am.
Reporter: take this kid away he's crazy
Dib: Noooooooo i'm telling the truth he is an alien!!!!
Reporter: Hehe well this Mr. reporter signing off
Narrator: archrival was stuuned was that kid correct was Zim an alien, there was only one way to find out talk to Dib.
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Postby Timer » Wed May 10, 2006 11:43 am

nice

mr reporter hehehe i like it
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Postby Frostmork » Wed May 10, 2006 11:46 am

Same weird but same good too.
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Postby Darkness_calls » Wed May 10, 2006 12:22 pm

A little short, but good ^_^
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Re: archrival fanfic: the uknown hero

Postby Archrival » Wed May 10, 2006 1:12 pm

chapter 2
House of pig
Narrator:before Archrival sets off to Dibs house, he must stop at a freinds house,now with all heroes the freinds are just as heroic and with this case there's no exception, Archrivals friend is known as warren he's a modern necromancer, with red eyes wears no top but has runes all over his body he also has long black hair, his powers consist of producing energy beams from his hands and can do minor telekinis, he explains about Zim and the two set off. As Archrival jumps from roof to roof and warren hovers the two discuss their past experiences as heroes and think of whats to come. As he and warren get closer to the roof of Dib's house they notices a crazy black and green dog running round and round in circles the two get down from the roof of the house and walk up to the dog.
Archrival: You seem too odd for a little dog.
Warren: Indeed
Dog: Piggys!!!!!
Narrator: Archrival and warren raise one eyebrow and watch the dog with intrege as the little dog pulls out a toy rubber piggy and flys it around like an aeroplane even making the sounds.
Archrival: Your no ordinary dog are you?
Dog: No my name's Gir, i like TACOS!!!!!!
Archrival: Who do you belong to?
Gir: taco taco taco
Narrator: the two walk off thinking the dog was of no consiquence they arrive at Dib's house, they knock a tall man with science goggles appears.
Man: Yes what do you want
Archrival: We are here to speak to Dib
Man: Oh come in my name is proffesor membrane Dib's father
Narrator: The two heroes walk in and sit at a table a small gothic girl walks in stare at the two with slit eyes and sarts raiding the fridge, soon after Dib comes down
Dib: yeah your here to see me
Archrival yes we are here to speak to you about a guy called zim
Dib: I knew it you too are M.I.B after Zim aren't you?
Archrival : Sorry, no we believe you that he's an alien but we think he's up to something
Dib: He is always conducting plans, but lately i've noticed in my daily evidence raids other aliens round his house really ugly ones all with a strange alien markings on their foreheads i think their some kind of evil bosses
Warren: Hmmm An evil orinisation sounds like a world takeover plot what do you think Archrival?
Archrival: I think we should check it out.
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Postby Darkness_calls » Wed May 10, 2006 1:16 pm

Not counting the missing commas. It's getting really exciting. Good job ^_^
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Postby _Bubbles_ » Wed May 10, 2006 1:19 pm

Really Good ^_^
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Thanks Comic_Kitten for the cute sig
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Re: archrival fanfic: the uknown hero

Postby Archrival » Wed May 10, 2006 4:29 pm

chapter 2
part 2: the warren war
Narrator: our heroes plus Dib set off to Zim's house and stop outside of the fence and duck down
Dib: Now listen see those gnomes their little censors to show Zim your here destroy those and we can get in undetected
Warren: with pleasure
Narrator: Warren stands up holds his hands out as if he were pushing something, two red balls appear in his hands then suddenly two beams burst out destroying most of the gnomes, two more beams come out and destroy the remaining ones.
Warren: There we may enter now
Archrival: Great me and Dib in the front you go round the back
Warren: affirmative
Narrator: so the heroes split up Archrival and Dib go through the front door while Warren go round the back, as Warren reaches near the back of the house he sees a small white haired girl with matching white dress playing with Gir
Warren: Who are you?
Gir: She is your DOOM!!!!!!
Girl: Girly is correct i am Bell, i will be the last thing you see in this life
Warren: Now wait all i wanted was your name
Bell: you now know my name and you will also meet your maker PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Bell comes flying straight at Warren, Warren easily dodges he puts his index fingers to his temples and Bell halts in mid air.
Warren: I have telekinisis i can stop you with my very thoughts brute strength is not a match for me its the size of ones mind that counts to beat me
Bell: I don't have time for this i want to kill you with my bare hands!!!!!
Warren: So be it if you want to kill me with brute strength i am more than a match for you.
Narrator: Warren lets Bell go and gets in to the famous matrix bring it pose, and Bell continues to fly straight at him she hits left, right, head, body, he blocks her punches with supreme ease, his palms glow red again and two beams come out both just catching Bell on the arms.
Bell: i might just spare you to join us when i beat you
Warren: bring it bell beyatch
Narrator: bell rubbing the wounds tries again head, body, right, left, kick right, kick left, karate chop to the kneck all of these Warren just blocks with the simplist of ease, warren fires one beam to the stomach and sends bell flying into the side of Zim's house, bell is on the floor unconscious Warrren stands over her body.
Warren: farewell white maiden.
Last edited by Archrival on Thu May 11, 2006 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Darkness_calls » Wed May 10, 2006 6:26 pm

Again the commas are missing.
But the story is good, I like where this is going and I like psychick the most :P
Well done ^_^
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Postby Timer » Thu May 11, 2006 6:36 am

YAY me !
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Postby BG07 » Thu May 11, 2006 10:05 am

I like your style, it's very good, great story btw ^_^
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Postby Archrival » Thu May 11, 2006 10:09 am

thnx i try my best
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Postby Emerald Emblem » Thu May 11, 2006 11:20 am

that warren seems a bit too strong in my opinion
he could have taken at least one hit
this makes him seem like he could be a match for Dr X on his own
but aside from that it is good
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