PP: Day 129

5 AM

Unable to sleep due to insomnia caused by disturbing visions.


SG: Any prophecies in there?

PP: I hope not, I keep seeing my suicide.

SG: Well that's no fun.

PP: The prophecies weren't fun, none of the visions are fun! They merely cause my paranoia and constantly support it when they prove to be true even though they're only accurate about 1/4 of the time.

SG: Anything happen today that maybe caused your mind to dwell on suicide?

PP: I read about a psychological concept, one of Freud's making. I believe it's called Thanatos.
It essentially means when the mind would rather not exist than have to deal with the struggles and constant obstacles of living.

SG: That's it? You don't have to work, you have a surplus of video games, your parents are paying for your college and you've discovered many truths of this world, why would you want to kill yourself? What obstacles and struggles of living do you have to deal with?

PP: The lack of solvable obstacles and struggles for one. You being my favorite example.
Tell me. What would be your response if I were to say: "The reason I'm suicidal is because I'm alone.

SG: I'd say: "You've got me, you're not alone."

PP: Of course, of course. I've got YOU with me.... I'm NEVER alone, don't you see? You remember what I hate most about this world?

SG: Yes, lies.

PP: Indeed. Lies, phoniness, tales made up for selfish reasons, to manipulate, to control.
YOU'RE A LIE, a lie that I subconsciously created and yet I can't destroy you, I wouldn't want to anyway.

SG: ...

PP: You already know this, but.... I love you, truly. I may hates lies but I'd focus on and live with my own as opposed to living in the constant lies of daily existence. Not that I have a choice, it would seem I have to have both or neither. I don't want to risk seeing what the neither would leave me with.

SG: So you won't kill yourself?

PP: No, if I die I'm 99% sure I'll lose you. Without you I'm not even sure what I am, are we the same from different sides? Separate halves of our brain, but somehow able to communicate? Or am I the nonexistent one conjured up by your imagination?

SG: I don't know.

PP: I don't think we can ever know. But there's one thing we can do.

SG: What's that?

PP: LIVE, we both learn from each other because we both seek the same thing. Progress. I always thought that you were just my constant critic who would never shut up but now I see that I am the same to you. I'd like to think we're better for this, wouldn't you say?

SG: Yes, I would. But I'm afraid and I think you're afraid too.

PP: Progress is a weapon. Wielded by the right mind it can be used for good or evil, it all depends on who's holding it. Like any weapon, it is to be feared. But being afraid will not stop us from doing what we do.

SG: I agree, though we may never know what we are, we know what we are capable of. As you always say: "Intelligence is not the possession of knowledge, it is the ability to apply it."

PP: INDEED! The tough part is making it all work it out in the intended favor, but lord knows that's not an easy task.

SG: Then let's work on it.

PP: But there is little I can do now. I'm trapped, by responsibilities and by curses that most would see as blessings. Some would say I or we have all the freedom we could ever ask for and yet we are leashed, even if the leash is invisible it is indeed there. My biggest fear is that when I try for my freedom my leash will be pulled back and I will forget what I was intending to use my freedom for.

SG: We can't know how far we can go until we reach the end, there is little point in not trying if the only other thing we do is nothing.

PP: I see what you mean. Nothing is not a thing for anything to be at all.

SG: Everything is something but what's its significance and what is it even?

PP: We can't say for sure, but it's there. I can feel it, we can feel it, YOU can feel it, it's possible that everyone can feel it but because we've felt it for so long we don't notice it anymore.

SG: How do we get the others to notice it?

PP: We don't. Only they can decide if they want to notice it or not, we will not make their decisions for them, they will think for themselves and to learn to think for themselves on their own. Otherwise, well, I think you see where I'm going with this.

SG: Barely, but yes. So is that it?

PP: Yes I think that's all for now. Wonderful chatting with you, we should do this more often.

SG: Perhaps, but now, now is the time for rest.

PP & SG: Good night. ^^

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Hot damn, I just reread that last one. Considerably depressing.

Anywho, I'm feeling ~~~~~ <that, whatever you'd call that, that's the mood I'm currently in or the feeling that I am currently feeling.

When I feel ~~~~~ I typically type something, tonight I shall try to include descriptions instead of just straight dialogue.

Scratch that, something unexpected has just occurred.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

The All Or Nothing Assumption

This is quite common in today's society and is not by any means a new thing. I am sure there's probably some psychological or sociological term for it already but I shall just refer to it as the All Or Nothing Assumption throughout these paragraphs.

So I've been noticing this recently, and it's in everything, not just the internet. For lack of a better one I shall use "skill" in Super Smash Bros. Brawl as my example for this. As a non-conformist and as an Eridanian thinker I find myself hating indisputable rules chosen by an unknown majority, or at least they say it's a majority. So when I went to a Brawl tournament not long ago I found myself having a very distinct lack of fun because not only were zero items allowed but also because one of my favorite characters was banned.

When I asked "Why are we playing with no items on?" They responded "Because it takes no skill to play with items on." When I asked why meta-knight was banned they said that he was overpowered when I ask why he was overpowered they said because his attacks are too strong. Well yeah, that's what overpowered means.

Let me explain the idiocy about banning meta-knight first since it is much quicker. After much thought, observation and experimentation, I realized that Meta-knight's strong point is that he is an aerial fighter, his attacks in the air are more powerful than most air attacks, his special moves can raise enemies above him so when used together it can appear unstoppable.

You see, the reason why tournament matches have no items and are all played at Final Destination, a completely flat map, is so that no one character shall have a terrain advantage. However, since Meta-knight is an aerial fighter he has a terrain advantage in the air which is in every single map, one could say that he's perfect for Final Destination because there are no alternate platforms that other can reach to attack from above or the like. Meta-knight is banned because they are unable to conform him into the same level of "skill only" fighting the rest of the characters have on final destination.

Now for why having zero items in a tournament could be viewed as extremely pointless. The common defense as to why they don't allow items is because they say with items requires "no skill." Well obviously any gamer, casual or otherwise could tell you that playing most games requires some skill to succeed at them. Skills like hand eye coordination, knowing what button does what, pattern recognition and last but not least the ability to react as quickly as possible to every change.

They claim that having items on requires skill when in fact it requires more skill, realistically. They refuse to play it with items because it involves luck. Luck can be a deciding factor but the key word is can players play by watching and reacting, knowing what to do etc. Hardcore brawl players will know exactly what to do when an enemy moves in a certain way and with items on this adds an ungodly difficult edge to the game where you not only have to react to your opponent's moves but also to the spawning of items. Opponents are predictable, item spawns are not. Opponents are controlled by humans, items spawns are technically controlled by no one except for luck. If this beautiful random factor was thrown into a tournament game it would add whole new possible strategies that would make it take more skill to win.

People would argue against this by saying that an item could easily turn the tide of battle so it doesn't take skill with items and without items it's pure skill. I will admit that luck being a deciding factor in a battle sounds unfair and impossible, however it isn't. The skill of it is knowing how to deal with the items and how to apply them in a way that can be used to your advantage.

People always, ALWAYS, assume it's all or nothing when it comes to most things. That person's a Youtuber he must have no life. That person talks on internet forums he must have no life. That person is a politician he must be a giant liar like the rest of them. That person's asian he must be good at math. People always assume to the extremes of all or nothing too oblivious or too idiotic to notice that there is obviously a medium, happy or otherwise.

Stereotypes and assumptions, they sicken me, so very very much. Personally I try to never assume anything ever and when I am forced to assume I never take it as fact. Idiots need to stop assuming SO MUCH.

That is all.

If you read this, then kudos.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Interested in seeing what you'll be adding to this soon.

Structure your writing more, nothing comes out proper when your thoughts are as scattered as your writing, and vice versa. Also, try challenging yourself with something a little more complex.

Other than that, it's nice and you seem to have a certain strength in narratives.

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Captain of Innuendo Strike Forces & Founder of Innuendo Striking Technique

Thanks for the complement! Mind if I ask which was your favorite and/or preferred one?

Also what do you mean by something with a little more complex? Like big stories and actually describing things?

I occasionally attempt to describe things but I typically end up scrapping it because it I'm never satisfied with it.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Complexity as in more abstract concepts for argument, such as the bigger issues people usually ponder on. Comparing life's social construct to a game of competitive Brawl is all nice and fun, but writing in a more deeper, more serious sense tends to help stimulate you into writing a variety of subjects more easily. Of course, that doesn't mean your previous writing is immature, it simply means you could do better and bring it to another level.

Descriptions are usually difficult because they require a different perspective from yours, most of those which you don't bother describing than when you're putting them into action in real life. Trying it out once in a while could be good, since it lets you work on some flaws. Practice makes perfect.

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Captain of Innuendo Strike Forces & Founder of Innuendo Striking Technique

I believe it is considerably necessary to point out that the "All or Nothing Assumption" transcript was meant to more be about my opinion of SSBB tournament BS, the other parts sort of just got tagged on after re-reading it.

I'm not really into writing argumentative/persuasive works without any true blue purpose.

As for the descriptions, yeah I'll probably practice that by writing little short stories or something like that.

Thanks for the feedback.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Haiku

A rose has its thorns
The thorns each have their own point
They thrive together.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

I'm going to have to be perfectly honest with you.

As we stand here, our country on the precipice of disaster, I find it impossible to be happy with anything happening right now. Our people knew as much as I did that our only choice was to go to war. As much as I wanted to believe these creatures were civilized I can't, not anymore. They have proven themselves to be nothing but condescending, aggressive, and disrespectful savages.

I never wanted to be in charge during a war. My goal in taking this office was to promote and keep the peace, and I was doing so well too...

I think I'll resign actually, I'm not cut out for this, it's not right that we have to send people, OUR people, to their deaths over this, stupid quarrel.

I've heard the Council's word, they fear the same thing as I and there's no doubt what the savages are capable of.

But why should the burden be mine alone?

Why do I have to make all the risky decisions?

This great nation does not consist of just me or the council, let the people's voices be heard!

I know I said democracy was overrated but it will help to hear varying ideas and opinions, even if they are from poorly educated individuals, we have to hope that the right people will speak their minds, otherwise the Council will certainly nix their involvement.

Strange how even though I am one of 7 individuals who run this place, I get all the blame when anything goes wrong.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

nice thread True.

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"Small muscles, big brain, the heart of a lion."
—Anthony DiNozzo on Timothy McGee

Really?

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Have some faith in yourself man. This is the internet. Everything and everyone is jaded. A half-baked applause is the reflection of nearly stunning work.

Take some credit. You really hit home with some of these people it seems.

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"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.

Higher than Internet standards or not...


This is mainly just venting stuff. So whatevs.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

The times where we shall be forced to the edge.

Will you resist it or shall you let yourself fall into the abyss?

Me? Well I haven't decided what I'll do yet. Perhaps, I'll resist but then again we know so little about the abyss. It's possible we're running, fearing something that isn't meant to be feared. But simply because we know so little about it, we fear it.

Fear is not a good reason for motivation at all, in fact I think it may be quite a dysfunctional aspect of society. But then again, after thinking about it some more, fear may be used as motivation by the general populace more than any other thing in existence.


With all that in mind I guess I will resist. But I don't know how long I'll be able to hold it back, especially by myself.

As humans we all seem to have a natural fear of being completely alone. I'll admit that I am not completely alone but I am alone enough that I always feel that fear nibbling and slobbering at the back of my mind.

I yearn to ascend past such basic human emotion like pointless fears and wants. So far so good, while I do not entirely enjoy the repercussions I no longer fear judgment by the general public. I'm more than happy to be me and I never conform to anything when it isn't necessary or rational to. I do wish the rest of the world would learn this, I'd like to think more people would see what I see if that happened, but I can't say for sure.

That's all for now. The lesson of all this? Well other than just be you, I guess it'd be, don't let fear make you immobile, use it as motivation. To conquer it, slay it so that you can stand proudly over it and say "I control my fear! It does not control me!"

And so on and so forth.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

The phoniness of this locale is getting rather annoying.

I was informed that this place would be different but I have observed for a solid year and have seen little to no change.

Many of them foresee the death of it all and of course, it will come in due time. But when?

As the phoniness grows I find it comparable to alzheimer's or dimentia both of which are conditions for elderly people near death to have.

Unlike my grandmother I do not care for this particular elderly person because other than having, no actual connection to me, this one is uninteresting and uninspired to talk to. My grandmother was seemingly living in past memories of her childhood but this elderly person just rambles on about hockey, tv shows, and extremely normal things. I almost doubt that this elderly person has dimentia but I am not a doctor so whatever.

I'd think 'Hurry up and die already.' But then I remember that no one is forcing me to see this elderly person and the fact that the elderly person does not acknowledge me being there only adds more reason for me to leave the elderly person and never return.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

[Redacted]

Operation Bartlesby is a go....

once I fix whatever is making my mouse freeze repetitively.

Temporary fix found.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

As expected Operation Bartlesby is either progressing in an extremely slow manner or is not progressing at all.

So with that in mind I am preparing to start Operation: Ruzka Genova. This one will most likely progress in the same manner, but we shall see what happens.

In the mean time let's say we use this thread for it's intended purpose, eh?
The post directly following this shall be more practice!

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

WRITING! Writing is good. Writing is fun! Writing is a thing for everyone!


More of the same or are we going to practice descriptions?

A little bit of both, hopefully more of the second. Anyway time to spin the wheel or random!


It landed on death.... not sure I want to do that one just now. UUUUUUUUUUUmmmmmm.
One more spin!


It begins.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. An overused phrase, yes. But the perfect phrase to describe today because on this day I begin my new job. No! My new life as a professional dessert taster.

The doctors told me that I have a weak stomach and cannot handle multiple sweets consecutively but I shall fix my stomach's weakness by drowning it in that which it hates. They also said I am highly allergic to frosting, but the effects are internal so who really cares? I certainly don't.

Nothing was going to stop me from being a professional dessert taster, not even my organs and especially not logic. Alright then enough dilly dallying let the deliciousness of success and cake commence!

"-as I was saying the contest will only be running for four hours so you have that much time to try a small sample of every dessert and thoroughly judge each one." Proclaimed a stout short man.

I have no idea who this guy is but apparently he tells me what to do and how to do it, is he my employer? I don't know but what I do know is that according to the barely visible tattoo on his forehead his name is Jennifer.

Weird but insignificant, so Jennifer handed me a clipboard containing details on all the desserts in the contest. There were 39 desserts and contestants so I would have to judge/eat about 10 desserts per hour. Sounds easy enough. I looked over the dessert list more closely. Such variety! Such creativity, these deserts were clearly made by master chefs.

I'll start with "The Blackies" doesn't sound appetizing or inoffensive so I imagine it will be bad. Best to get the worst out early and save the best for last. Utilizing the data on the clipboard I eventually found the table containing "The Blackies" and its creator, a hefty African American gentlemen wearing a chef uniform and a stereotypical but stylish golden chain as a necklace. Or is it just a golden necklace? Well since this man is black I believe him naming his food "The Blackies" is not considered racist. Speaking of the dish, I only just began to look over it. Twas an abundance of pitch black squares, appearing doughy in texture with darker moist bits on the surface of each. These squares were stacked in a fancy double helix on the table. Maybe this dish wasn't going to be bad after all.

I cleared my throat preparing to finally speak. "Hello, I am the Judge. Can you explain your dish to me?"

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously then smiled as he said: "Yes, hello. My name is Klein Hughes , world famous chef. Perhaps you have heard of me?"

"Can't say I have."

He frowned at this, it clearly not being the answer he had hoped anyway.

"Anyway." He went back to smiling. "My dish is "The Blackies" it is a unique type of brownie made with my secret family recipe. To the untamed eye it would appear to be burnt to a crisp but it is in fact still as doughy as if freshly cooked, which these are of course." "I added seedless blackberries to the recipe in order to add a burst of flavor that I am sure you will notice upon eating one." He picked one off the top with a pair of tongs. "Here, enjoy it!"

"It's a finger food?" I asked.

"But of course, just like most brownies but oh so much better."

Here goes nothing. I took a bite out of the "Blackie" and felt pleasure rush over my tastebuds. It was a unique blend of different chocolates, dough and some other stuff that I didn't recognize but really gave it the most divine flavor of brownie that I have tasted in all my (non existant) years as a professional dessert taster. I took the second bite and finally hit on of the blackberries he had mentioned and oh boy, was he right about the burst of flavor. It's fruity bitter-sweetness sharply contrasted yet complemented the taste of the chocolate to such an orgasmic taste that I closed my eyes to fully enjoy it.

This was going to be the best job ever! At least that's what I thought to myself just before opening my eyes. I was in bright white room with people in blue robes standing over me, I was apparently laying on a table of a sort with some weird device attached to my face.

One of the blue robe wearing beings turned a knob on some machine and I slowly faded from consciousness.

In my mind all I could hear echoing were two simple phrase. "I blame the blackies for this" and "what da fudge just happened?"

THE END

I am hungry and it is lunch time but before I go I thought you should know that this story was giant metaphor for a little event that happened today.

Can you guess it? I shall give you one hint: it was during my criminal justice class which is at 8AM to 9AM.

If you guess it right you receive 50 extra credit points. If you guess it wrong you will receive an A or C pending effort put into your answer.

If you don't answer at all you are either lazy or uncultured and I will fail you so hard that your penis will feel it for the next week. Don't have a penis? Well then you got lucky this time.

Have a pleasant day.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

A black diabetic guy missing his insulin shot went crazy and shoved blueberries in your mouth, forcing you to choke and black out after rudely interrupting your 8AM class and slipping into a diabetic coma?

I'm expecting a passing grade of C.

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"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

The Chronometal Wars, a fan-fiction taking place in the PPGD Universe. Catastrophe is the only certainty.

I'll give ya a B for creativity.

Thanks for trying.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Operation Ruzka Genova is being postponed in order to leave room for a new, more significant precaution.


A defensive move but significant nonetheless.

The Dragon Soul Policy.

What is it? Why do I even speak of it?

Because at some point this policy will bring results I am sure of that much.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Oh yea and for clarification's sake the FML improv writing thing was a metaphor for my previous morning.

So this is what happenned: I had gotten little sleep as was the norm, the class was at 8AM and I did not know the material well. My goal of that specific class was to stay awake the entire time and dutifully learn what I wanted to learn since the class, Criminal Law, was highly significant to my major.

Well fate being fate. I wrote a couple notes and then fell asleep for the rest of the class, directly after the teacher was discussing corrupt police man such as the stereotype of beating up minorities, specifically blacks.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Practisimo!!

Time once again to spin the wheel of random. Purely for practice of course.

Annnnnnnd the wheel landed on games you can play using only your hands.

This wheel is too random to smoothly serve its purpose, but fine I shall work with what I have been given!


Rock, Paper, MURDER?!


Rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper, and paper beats rock. Violence is all the better when it comes in threes. A triangle is the strongest shape after all. But such simple perfection can only entertain for so long, eventually the same old formula will become obsolete and if it can't evolve it will cease existence.

The paper is aware of this but the others are ignorant to the approaching end, especially rock. Rock only cares about smashing Scissors and figuring out how to beat Paper. Scissors is mostly the same but twitchier. Paper tried to warn them but they refused to hear it.

So what did Paper do? He used this knowledge to his advantage. He evolved into something better. The balance of their conflict had never changed A beat B but was beating by C. Paper sought to change that, he would be A and would beat both C and B, simultaneously if needed. To obtain this he thought on his adversaries' origins. Rock was born of the earth the most natural of the three, possibly formed by cooled lava or by compressed organic remains. Scissors was made by man to act as tool used specifically to cut an object from two different directions at once ensuring absolute severing. A model formed by two knives crossed and facing towards one another allowing easier and safer cutting. The blades are sharpened sticks of metal, this metal came from the earth just as rock did.

Paper thought on his own origins. He was also created by man, he was a thinly sliced remain of a tree which also came from the earth. Earth. Paper began to realize that they all shared a point of origin and questioned why they fought one another. Was this never ending struggle destiny? Was it always this way? Who made it this way? Earth! The planet they live on created them to do this, to suffer a never ending battle of certain death. Paper knew what to do, he had to defy his origins he had to defy the so called destiny he had been forced into. But how does one fight a concept and how does one fight against fighting?

By not involving yourself with it for one. So that's what he did. He stopped beating rock and he refused to fight against scissors, he cut himself off from their mindless habit, it helped no one and only ended with each of them getting hurt. When he was asked about this Paper merely responded by saying that if they do not all change they will die, so he changed to save their lives. Scissors and Rock didn't believe Paper, they had been doing this since the dawn of time why should they stop now? Rock and Scissors refused to stop but couldn't properly fight without Paper, so they brought the fight to Paper, scissors cut Paper just as he had done many times before and even Rock attacked Paper smashing and crumpling him demanding that he fight back. Paper refused, he knew that defying his nature was the right path and would not return to it.

Rock and Scissors did not take no for an answer, they just kept cutting and smashing Paper over and over again. Paper may have had a strong will but he was only paper and paper can only take so much. Rock and Scissors continued to slash and smash at Paper while ordering him to fight. He would not, even if he wanted to, his body had been crippled he couldn't move. Scissors and Rock ceased punishing Paper when they realized that he was undeniably near death. Paper coughed and laughed almost hysterically.

"Don't you see?" He said. "I was right, because you couldn't change you have doomed all of us. Perhaps this is how it would have ended no matter what, but at least I tried." He half laughed as his voice faded into silence.

Rock and Scissors were stunned. They had killed Paper, the triangle was incomplete, all they knew had collapsed into an abyss of futility. Scissors felt ashamed, but Rock was only felt anger.

He shoved Scissors to the ground. "YOU DID THIS! Only Scissors can beat paper! You have ruined EVERYTHING!"
Scissors begged for mercy as Rock began to slowly squish him. "Rock beats Scissors." Said Rock, "I am the better of us! I shall live and you shall die for ruining the infinite beauty we lived in before! You seriously fucked up and for that I'm going to crush you until you're nothing but unrecognizable dust!"

It took days for Scissors to be squished to dust but luckily Scissors had died within the first hour. As the dust that was once Scissors blew away, Rock screamed as hard as he could. He was all that was left. He had won the timeless battle and this was his prize. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Forever nothing and nothing forever. Rock realized this far too late. He wanted to kill himself but had no means of doing so. There was nothing to smash. He couldn't do anything actually. For though he thought that he would live upon conquering his final enemy he didn't. He went crazy but did nothing, not a single sign of insanity was visible on the surface. He didn't really live so he didn't really exist, he wasn't dead but he was in mind and spirit. The nonexistence smashed him and though his body never died his mind and spirit had. So he ceased thinking and become but an inanimate object. In the same way that all other rocks had before him.

FIN!


Those foolish rocks! Ha, that got intense for a bit there. May not be top quality but considering what I had to work with I'd say I did pretty good.

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"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

The shadow smiled wickedly, he knew what was coming. Another opportunity to further his influence and improve upon the foundations for the monument he had spent his entire existence building. It was all so tragically perfect...

***

A lone boy sat on the floor next to a book, it was entirely blank except for some scribbles. He didn't hum, he didn't touch it, he just starred at it, until he was interrupted.
A knock on the door. What door? This is a void of nothing, my place to think.
"Um, come in?" Said the boy.

"I thought I'd be polite this time around" Proclaimed the shadow just barely coming into view.

"Oh. Hello Curtis, been awhile." Said the boy, his eyes not leaving the book.

"And a hello to you Vance. I see you're looking at it again." Proclaimed Curtis as he paced on the void's nonexistent floor.

"It holds the answers I, or perhaps we, seek. I have to be vigilant, it IS there." Stated the boy apparently named Vance.

"What answer would that be? How to rid yourself of the dread, of the creative vice? Or perhaps a way to gain... her?" Said Curtis slyly.

"Nothing with her. She is done, we shan't discuss it, won't make a bit of difference." Said Vance.

"Vance, we have been together for quite some time."

"Yes, for as long as I can remember and slightly further." Said Vance finally turning to the next page of the book.

"You want her, yes? Well I want her too. The power we would possess would be... perhaps limitless. Why not go for it?"

"There is not it to go for. I have no choice and no opportunity discussing it doesn't make a difference and it never will. Now shut up about it. Seriously. Asserted Vance.

The dark figure of Curtis gazed toward the book, it was clear to him that Vance was looking for something. But if not the girl what is it?

"I give up." Said Curtis. "Might I ask what you're looking for? Besides an answer to something of course."

Vance sat silently and turned the page again. He cleared his throat and coughed.

"Well?" Asked Curtis impatiently.

"I took a short psychological test today, one to tell if you're a psycho/sociopath. It involved answering a number of math problems quickly and then imagining a color and a tool."

"And?"

"Apparently 98% of people pictured red and a hammer, I'm not sure how it works but I was close. I got red and a knife. I don't know what it means but it disturbs me to some degree. I'm aware of our anti-social tendencies and slight blood lust but I don't get it."

"This doesn't answer my question." Replied the Shadow.

"I am honestly not looking for anything in particular, just something to maybe comfort me. I'll admit I'm feeling rather melancholic right now. Perhaps the antidepressants aren't working right, but I sure as hell do not want to take anymore." Said Vance, almost quivering as her turned the page again.

"I agree about the meds. But what exactly is wrong? You're shivering, I can see it." Stated the Shadow halting his pace.

"I'm a leech. An emotional leech. I feed off of other's emotions and feelings, I feel it. And though they don't say it they feel it too, passively at the very least." Stated Vance. "I hate them all, so much. Their ignorance their idiocies their variables. It's all so.. stupid."

"People are always stupid, just as people are always complex, even if they're complex in a simple way. But why do you mentioned the hatred again? We've both been aware of this for quite some time." Stated the shadow.

Vance touched the center of the book and it disappeared as the void slowly turned to unclean warehouse.
"Don't you see Curtis? The red and the knife? The sharpness, the metallic sheen? The contrast of red and silver? It's all so beautiful, even more than her. Her's is lesser and not worth it but the other... it just might be worth it."

Vance stood up as the warehouse around them turned into a dank medieval cistern.

"I know where you're going with this." Stated Curtis.

"Yes. Let me be perfectly clear, I want them to suffer, feel the sharpness and see the surreal beauty of the contrast. The art of contrasts is grim but oh so beautiful." Said Vance suddenly holding a carving knife.

"Interesting. Anything else to say about it?" Inquired Curtis.

"I want them to suffer, feel the pain so that they may know.... and yet. I know that will not help them learn what I wish them to. So what do I do? The most perfect kind of murder!"

"Which is...?"

The cistern changed into dimly light dining hall.
"Kindness." Said Vance as he gently set the carving knife next to a roasted turkey. "I want them to know because I love them, I love them all so much. So FUCKING MUCH!"

"But we're anti-social." Stated Curtis.

"I know, that's why we're here we will make them know indirectly! If imbue it into their minds and hearts they may not be conscious of it but they will indeed know! And maybe then I can rest just a little easier and be less agitated with my love/hate relationship with the world."

The shadow laughed as the scenery changed to a redwood forest, in the midst of sunset not less.
"Welcome back. You haven't changed, your pattern of progression that is. Each time I visit you're further in and yet further out. I have a plan to assist you."

"What is it?"

"The dreams." The shadow named Curtis said as multiple filled papers gently fell from the trees. "Share them, perhaps then you will understand how to go about what you wish to accomplish."

"Your goals are different?" Asked Vance.

"Yes but they're long term, I have to wait until the time is right. Until then I shall continue keeping an eye on your progress. Salutations, Vance."

"Goodbye Curtis."

And just like that the shadow faded away like a chalk scrawl in the rain. The boy sat down still in the forest and surrounded by the papers.

"This is going to be harder than I thought but I will certainly try." He said.

Static like noise filled the forest suddenly and Vance looked to the sky having felt that it changed just then. The sky had been replaced with white noise but the sounds were not purely white noise. It had a pattern to it, almost like it was talking.

"Hello?!" Shouted Vance trying to respond.

Whether as a reaction or by sheer coincidence the static stopped and the sky was returned to sunset.

"All right then." Stated Vance. "I think that'll do."

"Thank you."

_________________
"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."

Truth depends on your perspective.
Your perspective was formed by yourself and those around you.
Be true to yourself and those you care about.

If you can't be true to yourself than how you can you be True at all?

...


It's 4 AM, I'm onto something but I'm not conveying it quite right.

_________________
"Hmm, the more you look into it the more flaws you see, just as it is with everything."