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Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:14 pm
Panel 5: How dare you bring us here. Although it's still pretty awkward. It makes Junior sound like hes the type of person who looks down on everyone. One would expect to ask "Why did you bring us here?" because its more to the point.
Panel 4: I have saved your ass. Have makes it sound like hes announcing it to the world or something.
Another nice page. I feel like I've heard of Nozone before. Is it an original idea?
Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:11 am
@ Grivous: I see
@ Imosa: thanks, I'll fix that later
And about Nozone, first, I think about Novoid, but it sound like Ben 10 =), so I change it to Nozone. You can say it's an original idea
Well, new page, lots of words - lots of mistake, tell me so I can fix it
Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:52 am
The character Gears looks pretty awesome!
"They stole my keys". lol
And I think, in the last Gears' phrase, there is a 'do' in "So you know her?". It will be like this, "So do you know her?"
Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:33 pm
Grivous wrote:And I think, in the last Gears' phrase, there is a 'do' in "So you know her?". It will be like this, "So do you know her?"
It could be right.
What I find funny is that you swapped the words crime and criminal. "the most wanted criminals in their relm..." and "an unacceptable crime in any world."
Panel 4: "You said you are the
Guardian of Worlds".
Panel 5: "...a portal to any worlds
... and its the source of my power too
Panel 6 "they had
a little help... from a red girl" and "Can you tell me her number?". lol even though a phone number is made up of 7 digits, it's still considered one number.
Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:51 pm
Panel 2 (suggestion?): "--they are not clones(<--plural) - they are from another world, where they are known as the prince and princess of the Dark Realm. [and then refer to Imosa's amendments]"
Panel 3/4 (suggestion?): "-- Because they murdered their parents to gain more power. [and then refer to Imosa's amendments]", followed by Junior's "They... murdered... their parents??"(<--plural)
Panel 6 (suggestion?): "Do you have her number?"
Other than that, lookin' good!
Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:19 pm
ohhh,nice. the guardian of the worlds, is a perverted goofball. explains soooo much about life.
nice comic,besides a few spelling/grammar mistakes,its really good
Wed Aug 31, 2011 2:01 am
The SO-CALLED POWERFUL Gurdian of World just messed with his guard on important thing because of GALS
Good Job, Gurdian of World
Fri Sep 02, 2011 3:50 am
Ok, I have fix the grammar mistake, but haven't upload it here
well, new page
Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:30 am
Oh. My. GOD!!!
It's, it's, it's, it's, it's...
Something out of Panty & Stocking.
Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:25 am
What is "Pantsu"?
It is something related with "Panties"?
Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:06 pm
Apparently, japanese translation or something.
Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:06 am
You want to know what is "pantsu"?
well, google always ready for you =)
Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:46 am
That is a very angry child, started reading today and grammar errors aside this is a great comic hope it replaces some of the old comics on the front page.
Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:59 pm
Veronica looks so awesome in panel 2.
Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:54 pm
just a new page:
Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:06 am
I just found this comic today on deviantART! So cool!
Sun Oct 09, 2011 11:41 am
maybe you found my daviantart
Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:35 pm
Nice. This comic is pretty decent.
Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:09 pm
I like the story so far keep on doing it
think about more charachers to this
Mon Oct 31, 2011 10:11 am
@ darknessvandeath: thanks
and I will make more characters
Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:56 pm
I'm impressed with your skill Maxgate, but I would highly recommend you send drafts of your page to a person who speaks English as their first language before you post them, to help correct the grammar and spelling errors. Or, better yet, find somebody you can trust as a writer and explain your ideas to them so they can get the sentences and phrasing perfect the first time, and you can then use their script. I'm sure if you ask around you'll find volunteers.
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