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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:58 pm 
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good point so am i accepted rival.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:59 pm 
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Which they aren't. No sadly, it still has no humanity to it still just robotic listing.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:01 pm 
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Crea, what do you see when you read that CS? I see parts of a person. What you want to do is make a person, inside and out, how they act in good situations, bad situations, any situation. I'm still working on this myself but it is very good advice.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:09 pm 
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Arg this is fustrating me i see fucking huge as cs that doesn't need any feeling its just because i dont play warhammer i'm sorry if it feels robticly to you rival but i really need this could anyone help me out on this please.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:12 pm 
The happy fish says hello to the angry gopher
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We are helping you.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:14 pm 
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i don't know what the hell he want i did everything possible how the hell am i suppose to make it feel human like jeez can just someone just add in wth i'm missing from my character sheet and i have described every last inch of him wtf does he want more god damn.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:17 pm 
The happy fish says hello to the angry gopher
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Do not start with the attitude, girl. Do you want another spanking? (lol jk)

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:20 pm 
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please help more i don't get what he wants from my cs.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:26 pm 
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Look at yourself. If you were to type out every little detail about yourself, how long would it be? Too long. He doesn't want too much information but he wants enough to make the CS feel like a person. I can't help you there because I'm still working on that myself.

When making a CS, there's some questions I ask myself; "What are this character's quirks?" "Will this fit in with the world?" "How many details should I put in or leave out?"

Think about it as if you're making a CS based off me or your brother. How well do you know us?

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:06 pm 
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oh ok finally edited it once more please tell me if i need to describe more for u grr.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:18 pm 
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creastal wrote:
Career: Chaz was, at first, a blacksmith. As he got older he sold his goods, as soon as he ran out of steel he sold his forge, and got money for him to survive on for about 1 year by himself. Then he became a mercenary for his occupation for the kingdom until he get hired by someone else. This person hired him a couple times and Chaz used the money to buy him a forge so he could start his blacksmithing again and sell his items in between his jobs as a mercenary. As a blacksmithing merchant, it was going well, he soon started to make new weapons and armor for his shop and got more money out of it.

As he went into the tavern to get a refreshment one day, he heard the chaos in the bar. He stood up out of the booth he had just sat at and said to the members of an apparent adventuring party, "I am open to go on an adventure, just let me close down my shop and I'll be with guys in a minute." He went to his close his shop before returning to the tavern. Once he was back in the tavern, he called to the group, "I am ready to go." He swung his axe across his back and strapped in place with his shield.

Appearance: Chaz stands 6 feet tall. Being abnormally strong, he can lift his axe with one hand and swing it, though most people would have to use two hands on an axe this size. He has short beard, it is only about 4 inches long. (hair color? eye color?)

He has a helmet the looks like it has ram horns coming out from it and circling backward, the points of the horns point forward. He is wearing scale mail he made him self so he still can move around but also be very very useful as protection against any physical attack and some magic attack as well like fire, ice, and possibly lightning. Chaz crafted all these items custom for himself. He did this because he felt he would be going on an adventure pretty soon. He has a tower shield with bolts on the outside and a cross in the middle going across the shield and from the top to the bottom of the shield. Along the cross are bolts to keep it together in each corner of the shield there's a symbol. Upper right corner is a symbol of balance, similar to scale. In the upper left hand corner there is a symbol of a pile of money of gold bars and jewels. In the lower right hand corner there is a 4 leaf clover as green as grass. In The lower right hand corner there is a symbol of a great axe just like the one he uses as a weapon. It has green triangles right below the base, about 2 inches from the top, as it glows in a mysterious way. The edges of the axe were cresent shaped and were silver because of the sharpness. As the axe was bladed on both sides of the handle that was keeping the axe together. as the handle was wraped in leather and had a safe guard so if his hand sliped off his handle it would stop his hand from getting cut from his own axe. As the safe gaurd had a signature on it read, "Kill the Orcs"

Personality: He is a human that is a gold obsessed, drink loving elf-hater, caring and willing to help anyone in need. But anyone that get in their way will get an axe to the head. Chaz hates orcs because of his past and willing to to kill every last orc on the planet. His entire family died from the orcs, or so he thought. His family was very dependent on each other to get by in the world. Chaz got worried they would not be with him for the fights in the future. His sister was knocked out from the attack so he knew that she would be still alive but didn't know where he was hiding in this new city. He will kill orcs for free because he wants to get his vengence on the orc king for even sending his men out for killing his family and the castle. He defended the castle is because it reminded him of his home when he was little. With the city on his back he felt like he got rid of of his past but he knew that wasn't all the orcs that killed his family there was still the orc leader and his 5 bodyguards were left from the assault on my house. He really dislikes people that show off but likes it when people stick together. He does better when surrounded by friends and allies at his side but will go ballistic if all his friend die because it will remind him of his family. Then, if able, he will carry all their dead bodies to the temple to get revived.

History: He was removed from his home from an attack from orcs. He had been too young to do anything about it. He had to grow up by himself, hunt for food and other necessities to live by alone. He battled many fights during this 1 year period against orcs and many other battles against goblins and skeletons and a brute of a giant. He found this battle quite easy. [the rest of the sentence is unnecessary] He fought about 20 battles with goblins, 2 battle against skeletons and 1 against the giant. He was running low on food and had no forge to sell his goods. He ventured toward the city to hope for better business. When he got there, his business went well until an attack hit the city. Since he had experience in killing stuff, he took out his battle axe and the orcs that attacked the city was the same ones from his home attack, so he had a grudge to settle with them. He hacked and slashed every single orc he could. He finally got his vengence. He got rewarded for helping against the orcs that attacked the city. Then he was hired as a mercenary for the kingdom and that is when he started his new business as a mercenary. He was looking for his sister in this town whenever he could. As he was looking around one day in the city, he saw a girl that could possibly be his sister. He followed her, not sure of if it was her or not. He followed her into the tavern, tried to see her face and, eventually, asked her for her name. She was with this group that needed help so he offered his fairs as a mercenary. He told the group he received payment everyday he was with them, cheap, not sure of his skill as a mercenary yet. As he looked at the girl asked if she was also attack by a bunch of orcs when she was a little girl. (her answer?) Chaz closed down his shop later that day and returned to the group with his shield and axe on his back, ready to set forth to the world.

Alright, I've made some changes, unspecified, and made some comments, they're in red.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:43 pm 
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Creastal, never have someone who doesn't understand a CS make your CS... that just end's badly.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:46 pm 
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I am helping, just rewording a few things so it makes more sense, adding comments to things I see missing, taking out useless things, that's not bad. I may not be the best person for the job but I'm the only one who'll take the initiative and do this with her.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:08 pm 
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If u don't like her work why don'If you don't like how shes doing it why don't u help me instead huh.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:02 pm 
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Because you don't call a sewage technician to clean up your house.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:05 pm 
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That makes no sense. Why would you call a sewage tech to clean a house?

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:16 am 
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:28 am 
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This thread is hilarious, for all the wrong reasons

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:47 am 
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creastal wrote:
Arg this is fustrating me i see fucking huge as cs that doesn't need any feeling its just because i dont play warhammer i'm sorry if it feels robticly to you rival but i really need this could anyone help me out on this please.

I'm just going to jump in here and say that it's fruitless. If you can't get this right without help, you're not going to do well. And you're only doing this so that you can start your Silent Hill rp, which I can guarantee won't be voted in (and if it is, no one would want to play it) because of your attitude and no one respects you.
Sorry, Archie.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:42 am 
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fine ill leave then and never come back no one wants me here anyways.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:46 am 
My pokeball is painted gold.
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It's for the best. You should go to a place where people will be more accepting of you. I am sorry for your difficult time here.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:50 pm 
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Finally, I was able to post again!

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:47 pm 
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Two questions:

1. Can we play two characters?

2. If so then can you play as a Skaven?

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:59 pm 
Rest easy Ethan
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How would you become part of the group? Any skaven just walking around would probably be killed outright

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:45 pm 
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It could have something that screamed 'EXILE' or "UNHOSTILE".

Like a specific marking on it's face that told other people it meant no harm.

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