Wushu: After the End [OOC] This is the True End

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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 4:19 am

Asmodai wrote:Man, and here I thought I was being unique by creating a non-fighter... I was hoping it would create some tension between the fighter characters (of which I thought there would be more)
Might add a bit of non-lethal combat ala Mirror's Edge (knocking out, disarming)

That's exactly what I'm talking about. You want to play the odd-man out, but then EVERYONE makes an odd-man out :P. It seems to be a trend on this forum.

ALSO WILL ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STOP REFERRING TO MY_LITTLE_SISTER AS LMS?!? Every time I read that acronym, I think of Last Man Standing. WHICH IS A TOO AWESOME THING TO BE TIED TO MLS!

Oops, typo. And you're right, LMS is way too cool for her :P. Which reminds me that I also want to run an LMS-like RP. Though... This one isn't too far from that, so people are hereby also encouraged to take inspiration from Last Man Standing!
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 4:32 am

Must. Ropleplay. As. Jawesome.

I'M GONNA EAT YOU ALL! OMNOMNOMNOM
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 4:41 am

Oh yeah, I've forgot to say, Asmodai, Iris and Geomancers characters are all officially accepted. Too late to make Jawesome now :3
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 4:44 am

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOooooooo.... my life is forfeit now D:

Oh wells, gonna be adding some more aggression to her sheet the moment I have time. There has to be a reason she survived 14 years on the streets as a mute. And by reason, I mean she knows how to get into and out of fisticuffs! I guess she could even be teaching Erroll a thing or two about fighting (I doubt he would mind getting 1 on 1 with her dur hur hur)
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 5:21 am

Ah sweet, to both being accepted and the 1 on 1.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 5:44 am

Dur hur hur.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 8:43 am

Vegedus wrote:@MLS:

You seem to have sorta glossed over what the different trait categories should be about. Trait 5 should be a motivation or conviction of some sort, not a skill. I need to know what drives the character in order to motivate her in the RP.

Trait 4 is way too specific. It should be more broadly applicable. You can't resolve a lot of situations by just "typing fast". It's not even that fast in a setting where people can transfer thoughts directly into the machine. Instead, she could just be insanely fast with computers and digital devices in general. Fast at hacking, typing, assembling, booting, whatever. Oh, and if you could describe how it's applicable for combat, as I've kinda required it be, that'd be swell.

Trait 3 isn't bad, but... It could use some expansion of what that language skill is good for. In a closed, small-area "nation" like Athana, I can't imagine there's a lot of people that don't know the official language of the state (let's assume it's english). Some in the Underground, but not many. As such, I figured she'd used it more to impress people and such. Fire off a greek philosophers quote in ancient greek to seem smart, and such.

Trait 1 also needs to be more better explained. What's "varying" things? Is she easily distracted in general, or is it actually "shiny" things that distract her? No one is distracted by bricks in a wall or tiles in the floor, so it seems lazy to just put "varying" in.

For the extra trait, you should probably drop the part where she doesn't do anything with her ideas, because being creative on paper isn't going to be very useful. Also, creative in what manner? Does she design games, act, paint, make music, film movies? Creativity is a lot of things.

All of your traits could use at least a line or two more of explanation.

Also, the name. Being named after three kinds of precious stones is kinda ridiculous. Keep one, drop the rest... Unless she had wacky parents or she named herself that and it somehow ties in to the character concept.

The numbers are unnecessary. Just say that she "runs really fast" and "build electronic stuff faster than most people" rather than put numbers on it. It doesn't matter in the RP just how exactly much time it takes her to run a mile (and we can always make up a number if it does), and everything is relative, so specific numbers can sound off. As already pointed out, 75 words per minute isn't even that much. I can do 50, and I'm mediocre and don't live in a futuristic society. It's better to keep that stuff vague.

Lastly, the concept doesn't seem accurate. She seems neither ninja, nor hydrophobic. The mechanized legs are cool, though. We need moar cybernetics!

I will edit her... more... as soon as I'm awake. I do like the legs idea, though. It was something I was planning on using in a story but I had no story to put it in. With nowhere else to put it, here seemed like the best place I'd find in a while.

Asmodai wrote:ALSO WILL ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STOP REFERRING TO MY_LITTLE_SISTER AS LMS?!? Every time I read that acronym, I think of Last Man Standing. WHICH IS A TOO AWESOME THING TO BE TIED TO MLS!

How about just "sis"?
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 8:47 am

Since no one has made a Guardian yet, here's an example. Antagonist style.

Name: Brac Saiko
Concept: Cytek's most brutal Surger hunter.
Gender: Male
Age: 34

Appearance: Brac isn't tall, but he is big. He has broad shoulders and big muscles. Big enough that he must either work either have a religious approach to working out or be 'on' something. Especially his hands are almost abnormally big, and he makes an intimidating fist. Further, his body is of a darker, messy complexion, and he has several scars on his body of various kinds. Burns, cuts, and some which the source of which is hard to identify. The most noticeable scar runs from the right side of his face to his chin and looks like the imprint made by an ice cream scoop, wide rifts of brown wound tissue.

His eyes are a darkgreen and has short, army-cut blonde hair, except for a single, long lock of hair going down in front of his face. He also has some rather big, dumbo like ears sticking out of his head, but it'd be unwise to draw attention to them.

And then there's his left arm. It's obviously cybernetic, black, polished metal going up to his shoulder, and it's more volumous than his already big right arm. It's shaped much like a real arm, five digits and all, but it has lots of details, pointy bits, whole and put together surfaces, revealing it's transformable nature.

His work and combat uniform consist of a thick armor, black, same style as his cybernetic arm, which covers his chest, shoulders and lower legs. The right shoulder is asymmetrically big and round in shapes and connected to his arm via three, thick, plated power cables. He wears a biker-like helmet with a head-up display. A dark blue, skintight covers all unarmored areas.

In civil, he wears a shifting, urban-camoflage west with the sleeves torn off and a cargo pants with legs in three parts and colors, held together by stylized, big, flat steel chains.

Trait 5: Might makes Right!
Those that fight for their rights are entitled to them. If they win that fight, of course. Brac believes people have to fight for every thing they want in life, and if they don't fight hard enough to get it, that's their fault. For instance, those Surgers have an unique power. They can do things ordinary people can't dream of. Yet, Cytek have been successful at holding them down. Obviously, they don't deserve those rights they pine about so, if they can't even manage to claim them themselves.

Brac often talk about this philosophy, and while it's unknown if he really believes in it or if it's just a foil to justify his sociopathic behavior, most assume the latter.

Trait 4: Multi-Weapon Fighting
Brac's arm can transform into a wide variety of weapons, the default of which is a bayoneted assault gun. Other forms include an extendable spear, a thin shield and a rotating set of blades. The full amount of configurations is known only to Brac and the designer. He also carries a large, two handed hammer with a kinetic booster, that allows to swing it faster than with raw muscle power, in case he needs something with more power than his arm can manage. He rapidly changes style during to throw off his opponent.

Trait 3: Practical
Brac is no techno-wizard, but he knows the basics. He repairs and maintains his own equipment, and he's good with simple tools. He'd probably be a handyman if he hadn't joined the military.

Trait 1: Rage
Brac isn't without humor and he laughs at little men's attempt at provoke him. However, he does have hotbuttons, and flies into a completely rage should they be pressed sufficiently. This primal side of his is even more scary than his normal, but he is very prone to making mistakes and being duped in this form and doing things he might regret later.

Extra Trait: 4, Surger Hunter
The official title of Brac is Master Guardian, but he's at better at fighting against Surgers than with them. Unofficially, he's known as the Surger Hunter, and is quite notorious for it. Most renegade Surgers know about him, and there's plenty of grudges. Brac is experienced in fighting Surgers and has the equipment to do so. He's never thrown off by their effects, is quick to analyze their workings and immediately interrupts rituals.

Chi: ???/???.

Personality:
Brac is a loud and brash sort. He's often in a good mood, constantly cracking jokes, which people tend to laugh at, even if they don't appreciate his rough humor. He's a real alpha-dog and his very aura and confidence means he only rarely has to beat this fact into his henchmen and the random drunks he often encounter in his off-work bar hopping. He still lays down such beatdowns happily, and it's an open secret that Brac has a vicious, sadistic side.

Nonetheless, he's a professional, and very dedicated to his job. Inside Cytek and among his bosses, he acts like the perfect soldier, loyal and disciplined.

Background:
A little known fact about Brac is that he was born in the underground. He did a lot of street fighting for money as well as lots of other kinds of crime. When he was caught and facing a life time, Cytek recognized his talent and gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. He quickly excelled within the military and found a new path in life, whether it's better or worse.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 9:20 am

Alright, I added to her. Is she good now?
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 9:27 am

You need to explain her traits, why she has them. Easily distract for example, why is she so easily distract? Is it because she's scatter brained? Constantly thinking? Neurological deficient?

With your traits you're meant to expand they defy her. Not because they are there or what she can do.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 9:36 am

Well, because of what she can do, too. You're going to roll dice based on them, after all. Generally, the traits doesn't actually have to be long life stories, but it helps.

@MLS:
You still haven't really fixed Trait 5, 4 and 1. Trait 5 should be a personal thing, 4 is (still) way too specific and unusable and 1 is still incredibly vague. She's easily distracted by things that aren't common and aren't rare? That doesn't really make sense. You should probably just drop it and make her fear of water, and her legs sensitiveness to it her weakness. It's a much more obvious choice for a weakness.

The backstory is a bit overly dramatic and not as well written as I'd like, but I guess you can only learn by doing. I would like if there was a bit more to tie her into the setting, rather than just a generic sad-background.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 9:37 am

I will continue adding to her when I return, I have prior engagements I must attend to.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 9:40 am

Also would like to point out MLS that this is the future, there aren't any tires. There are flying cars however.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 9:41 am

Yeah, I was thinking that too, but I guess it's not completely impossible she was run over.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 9:47 am

Another funny inconsistency you may want to alter when you're back MLS is the fact your appearance says she looks "13 though she's 18" while in the age section you say she's 21. It's understandable that it's a typo but just wanted to draw your attention to that.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 10:48 am

Also, err, it doesn't rain inside the Athana. It's completely closed off from the outside.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 11:20 am

Hmmm *squints eyes* I dont like you Brac
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 11:26 am

However could that be?

BTW, you should pay more attention to his last name :3
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 11:30 am

hehe, nice word play on psycho :P
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 11:35 am

Now I like him even less... He's like the opposite of Tay!

AND OPPOSITES ATTRACT! D8
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 11:41 am

Dun dun duuuuun.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 11:52 am

Hey your character is in it as deep as mine! So hush it.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Mastermind001 » Tue May 17, 2011 11:54 am

I didn't like the holographic representation, you suggested. Therefore, I went with Lady Luck kind of vibe mixed with some JoJo's Bizarre Adventure influence.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 12:34 pm

Asmodai wrote:Hey your character is in it as deep as mine! So hush it.

True but Barc isn't known as the Surger Hunter; who also hunts down annoyingly sarcastic and/or cynical wiseguys now does he?
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 12:37 pm

And so the turmoil begins... A bit early perhaps.
Mastermind001 wrote:I didn't like the holographic representation, you suggested. Therefore, I went with Lady Luck kind of vibe mixed with some JoJo's Bizarre Adventure influence.

... So she doesn't really do something, she's just the representative of his luck?

I just wanna know what she does.

Asmodai wrote:Now I like him even less... He's like the opposite of Tay!

AND OPPOSITES ATTRACT! D8

Dude, that's sick. He's 34, she's 17! That's a pretty heavy violation of the 7-year rule!
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